Trimming the Sedges. (Closed for now)

Sedgepaw stalked out of the medicine den. His cuts stung beneath the cobwebs and herbs that Mintpaw had rubbed into them. His tail flicked in irrational irratation at being dismissed so offhandedly, but at the same time he was relieved as he nestled into his nest. Finally, he could sleep easily without the wretched brambles that dug and clung to his pelt.

If he could sleep.

The silver tom lay quietly in his nest. He listened to other apprentices babble and talk about their mentors. He heard a couple of them, including mumble, talk about Rippedsky as though he was some big deal. He scoffed in his nest and curled up tighter into his ball, his eyes glared at Mumble for a long moment. How could a powerful cat have such a weak apprentice for a son? Not for the first time he longed for his own parents. He wished he could have gotten his mentorship from one of them. Maybe they'd actually teach him something. A quiet discomfort in the back of his mind surged forward as he drifted into unconciousness. It cast his dreams into a realm of shadow. The darkness of it was unwelcoming, it loomed over him and made him step backwards. Where was he? He was asleep right? Sedgepaw took a breath and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, the darkness was still there, but so was something else. A deep brown cat with white markings along his throat, neck and belly. A cat that he knew was dead, but there was no starlight in this shape, no glimmer of recognition in cold blue eyes.

F-father? Sedgepaw meowed. Was this a vision? Had Starclan come to visit him? His hopes soared as he rushed to the figure in huge leaping strides. The tom never got any closer though, Sedgepaw felt irratation and yowled as the tom blinked in his direction, then stood and began to walk away with a dismissive flick of his tail. He couldn't just leave. A soft squelching sound forced Sedgepaw to look down. Mud had closed in tightly around his paws, his green eyes widened in panic as he looked up to where the tom had been just moments ago. Now there was nothing, not so much as a scent. He squirmed and thrashed helplessly, as a voice cut through the silence with a cold he had never heard directed at him before.

It's too bad your clanmates won't find you. Sedgepaw tried to find the source of the voice. Even if they did, would they help? He growled, twisted and nearly dislocated his shoulders as he finally glimpsed the cat speaking to him. His green eyes widened in disbelief as he watched himself pad around the pool of mud casually. Come on, big brave warrior. Climb out the mud, teach me a lesson. The other Sedgepaw stepped to the edge of the mud. A disturbing glint of something Sedgepaw didn't recognise in another cat, of pure malicious intent. How worthless, taken down by a puddle. The tom spat, as Sedgepaw felt himself sink faster. Suddenly he was up to his throat in mud as the strange tom stepped over to the other side of the mud pool as Sedgepaw gasped for help, his lungs burned under the pressure of the mud. "Why should I?"

He thrashed in his nest. Claws shredded his bedding as he pulled himself up with a violent gasp. He panted desperately for air in the quiet night air. Soft traces of moonlight made their way through the opening of the apprentices den and he left his nest to sit in it. He let the pale moonlight hit his pelt, his black markings showing clearly in the light of it. That wasn't a dream from starclan, that had been a nightmare. He breathed the cold air deeply again, let it settle in his cold lungs before reliquishing it back into soft steam around his whiskers. It had just been a dream. There was no need to worry. Still, he felt a prickle of doubt as his eyes caught the medicine den. Would Mintpaw have bothered to save him? Would Mumblepaw, Rippedsky might... but would they? Sedgepaw wanted to believe they would. They were his clanmates, it was their duty to save him!

Just like it was his duty to save them. The realisation felt like a branch landed on his skull. For all his preaching about being the best, for all his determination to be greater than the others, to be a warrior right away... what had he really done? His silver pelt spiked in the cold, discomfort settled into his bones. Nothing. He had done nothing to deserve it. He had caused so much trouble for his mentor, had been mean to Mumblepaw and Mintpaw, for what? The satisfaction of being better? He looked down at his paws and scuffed them in the snow. What was being better if he was useless? What good was teaching him, if he refused to be taught? He frowned, then stood and glanced at the moon. It was still high, it would be a long time before it set... maybe he'd have time. Sedgepaw glanced back at the warriors den, then slowly padded out of camp. He knew what he had to do. Rippedsky might be a mousebrain, but he wasn't foolish. If he said there was moss, then there had to be moss... somewhere.

---

The soft light of dawn slowly crept into camp. The form of a black-specked silver apprentice slowly slinked back through the camp entrance, his fur covered in leaf litter, bark and dead twig debris. He returned just in time to see his mentor leave the warriors den and steeled himself against the dissappointment. His tail drooped low and his eyes focused on the ground in front of him as he struggled with his frustration. It wasn't fair, there really hadn't been any moss! He had searched in earnest this time, but despite all his looking, he hadn't gone far enough from camp to get where the other apprentices hadn't. He sat in front of Rippedsky, he could practically feel his mentor's dissappointment that he hadn't stayed in camp.
"...I tried." He muttered, surprised by how weak his voice sounded. He tried to clear it, but now it just sounded worse. His voice breaking as he realised his own uselessness. How he was ultimately failing at being the best warrior because he couldn't provide. "I tried... to find that moss but I... I couldn't. I couldn't find it anywhere!" Sedgepaw refused to look up, he didn't want to acknowledge that other cats might have heard his failing. "...I don't want to train today." He muttered. Shame pricked at his pelt as he stood to sulk away back to the apprentices den.

The deputy had not even been awake long enough to notice Sedgepaw's absence. He briefly stopped to stretch his aching muscles and sore body. Wincing at the pain, he hissed softly. As the black and white tom straightened up and opened his eyes, he was immediately met with a disappointing sight. Sedgepaw. His pelt was littered with scraps and told the tale of him being out in the forest. How many times would it take for him to learn that he had to listen when he was told to stay in camp. Rippedsky's blue eyes hardened and he immediately straightened up. His maw opened and the mixture of disappointment and frustration lit up his gaze. However, Sedgepaw spoke up first.

His apprentice's words were surprising, to say the least. As the broken sentences reached his ears, the warrior's heart sank. Sedgepaw had done something he had never imagined him to... he tried. Regardless of whether or not the action was days late after the command, something had happened. For a moment, he stood there, stunned. It was the last thing he had expected to happen. What was he supposed to say to that? While his face softened from what it was before, he maintained a neutral expression. Before Sedgepaw could walk away, a black and white tail was in his path. Rippedsky stopped him.

"Come with me." The deputy ordered, turning towards the camp entrance. He said nothing else as he disappeared through the camp entrance.

Sedgepaw stopped when the tail blocked his exit. He looked back at Rippedsky with disappointment, shame clenched in his chest as he took in his mentor's expression then slowly followed him. For a moment, it felt like the last time he would leave. After this, Rippedsky would ban him to camp forever and he would deserve that. If he couldn't find moss, what good was he? He bit back a yowl of disdain and frustration. He was good at fighting, why couldn't that have been his first task? His paws dragged a bit on the snow, his pace barely kept up to his mentor's as exhaustion loomed heavily over him. Once, he stumbled over a small bump in the snow, then stood and began to simply walk.

He went the whole day without a meal, and now he had gone all night as well. His belly clenched with hunger and he looked at the bushes nearby. If he was lucky, something would run out straight into his jaws. As it was, he heard a rustle, then a small noise of feathers brushing against the bush. Perhaps a sparrow then. He could take that. He turned, then winced and looked at Rippedsky before reluctantly padding away from it. His mentor hadn't told him to hunt yet, and for once, he would do as he was told.
"How far are we going?" Sedgepaw meowed. The question seemed innocent enough to him. No cat could really consider that arrogance right? "If it's hunting, I'm better off in my den."

Rippedsky said nothing to the apprentice's question and merely flicked his tail in response. The younger cat would soon find out. For now, the black and white tom stuck to the ground and managed an even pace. His side burned furiously at the work, but he pressed on and ignored it. Pain would have to wait until later. The feeling seemed to subside and his pace grew brisk. It was so easy to let his paws trace the path to where they were growing. Whatever stern expressions had been on his maw while they traveled briefly flickered as they gave way to hints of a smile. Ahead were the memories. He could picture it before him, a young Rippedpaw and a former Shadowclan warrior in those branches; it was the very tree Webtail had taught him to climb. This was the same tree he had found his peace with Starclan through the many losses he had suffered in the past seasons. Now, he wanted to share this with Sedgepaw.

None of his other apprentices had been here before. In fact, he doubted the much younger cat would see the value in this place. At least not right away. Maybe, just maybe, it could hold its own special purpose for Sedgepaw in the future. He paused briefly at the base of the weathered oak. Wrap your forelegs around the tree and use your hind legs to push yourself up. He shut his eyes for a brief moment and could remember the tom's words. That had been such a pivotal night for young Rippedpaw when he first joined the clan. After blinking a few times, he glanced up at the ancient and knotted bark. However, it still stood as sturdy as ever. Following the technique he had learned from dear friend long ago, Rippedsky hauled himself upwards on the trunk of the tree. As the center of the tree thinned, the deputy moved to some of the stronger branches off of it.

In little time at all, Rippedsky reached a stopping point. It was sturdy enough for two well-sized cats. Him and Sedgepaw could sit here together. As he waited for the Skyclan apprentice to join him, he sucked in a deep breath of the cool morning air. There was no doubt Webtail was up in Starclan laughing to himself about the struggle between mentor and apprentice. However, he was also there silently encouraging Rippedsky, as he had always done. There was so much he owed to the late tom. He had learned so much from him alongside his training with Crowstar. Peace seemed to settle in the black and white warrior. Any lingering aggravation with Sedgepaw had dissipated on the journey here. This had been a good decision. He glanced down to the apprentice before returning his gaze to the forest. With so little leaves, it was easy to see a majority of the forest from this height, "What do you see, Sedgepaw?" The question crackled through the silence. It most likely seemed odd to the young, silver cat, but Rippedsky already knew the meaning behind his asking.

OOC: today marks a couple days after the 'official' bonding topic of Ripped and Webtail who were almost lovers, so this is for what could have been :') for you Webtail, RIP

When Rippedsky didn't answer, Sedgepaw resigned himself to a long walk. He forced himself to pick up the pace a little, but he stumbled over his own paws every now and then from exhaustion. He tried to push it away, but just like his own self-misery, it clung like a burr. His claws dug into stone as they crossed a rocky path with a wince. His tail dragged on the forest floor as finally, Rippedsky leapt up into a tree. He groaned softly. The distance his mentor covered seemed like miles. The tree bark looked icy and uncomfortable. Still, Sedgepaw tried to climb it. His claws dug in deep to the bark as he slowly hauled his way up the trunk of the tree until he reached where Rippedsky was waiting and dropped down next to him on the thickest part of the branch with an exhausted huff.

His maw parted to complain, but he stopped abruptly. This was his own fault, wasn't it? He had disobeyed the rules, and now this was his punishment. He groaned at the idea even as Rippedsky asked him that question. His green eyes looked over the treetops with an exhausted mind.
"Trees." He muttered. "Trees and more trees... and the sun." He added, unable to stop a yawn as he stretched his muscles against the bark to keep himself awake. He looked back at Rippedsky with a questioning expression. "They're all dead though." He pointed out. Without the leaves, the trees looked bare all around.

"Up here, Sedgepaw, there is so much of the grander world to be seen. This is something that Skyclan cats usually only have the honor of seeing. You and I are but a small part of the entire world." Rippedsky muttered. Humility. It was something he never took the time to think of, but a value he had clung to strongly throughout his entire life. This was the very reason he had a hard time relating to the younger cat's often out-of-place comments and undue self-confidence. The deputy had never seen the world in the same way his apprentice did. He hoped that by sharing this with him and stepping away from matters of training and warriorhood, that Sedgepaw might be able to gain a new perspective on life.

His blue gaze scanned out over the horizon. The sun had begun to appear and warm the frozen earth. Up here, it was a sight to behold. Taking a deep breath and watching it escape into the air, Rippedsky allowed the silence to settle around them. It was hard to push away the lingering suspicion that Sedgepaw would have some smart comment to cut through the moment and ruin the entire point of this whole thing. However, he tried to hope for the best with the apprentice. This morning had been a surprise to the deputy. Even though it had taken a while for Sedgepaw to push himself to achieve what might have seemed to be a menial task, he had finally done it of his own volition. Rippedsky had almost forgotten of the fact he had once assigned the silver tom to search for moss. The pointless task had merely been a means of a lesson that had seemingly gone unlearned. But, perhaps, it had not all been in vain.

"There is a place for every cat and so often do we miss our own purpose by focusing on only what is before our eyes." As he spoke, he continued to scan the skyline and take in its breathtaking beauty. If it weren't for the daily tasks his role demanded of him, the deputy most likely would have found himself here more often. Rippedsky allowed the words to settle in. There was a chance that Sedgepaw, despite his clearly sleepy state, would take a moment to consider what his mentor said. It was a far-reach, the black and white tom knew that, but he would at least attempt to say something. Finally, he turned to face the silver tom, any fire in his eyes had dulled to a contented blue, "I see so much in you, Sedgepaw. There is a potential that is often stifled by your lack of willingness to look outside of yourself. I would love to help train you to be the cat you are meant to be, but I'm still sometimes afraid you're not ready to learn that."

After a beat in the words, Rippedsky added, "But, today, you surprised me. I will admit there were times I lost faith myself. Although, you have begun to prove that I can be wrong. What do you think?" He mused, looking for the younger cat's thoughts on all these matters.

A small part? Sedgepaw drew up his body and glanced back out to the forest below them once more. He thought this time, not about how green the trees were, but how big. Great massive boughs of old oak and birch and gentle branches of pine which still held their green needles stubbornly. Compared to them, he was small. Barely an ant to the size of the tree they were sitting on the branch of, and as much as that thought irked him. Despite his claws which sank into the bark, he had to face the truth of it. Rippedsky was right. His thoughts were broken when his mentor continued to speak. Sedgepaw's green eyes looking at him sharply.

He shifted uncomfortably on the branch. His tail brushed aside some snow off the neighbouring branch and he watched as it fell, landed on the ground below and became a part of the mass of white below. Was that what he was? Just one part of a mass of cats, that seemed perpetual and never ending? The thought chilled him, discomforted him, and yet, gave him comfort as well. His coat felt as though it was still covered in that thick, disgusting mud that had threatened to drown him. That other Sedgepaw, the one that didn't help him... was that the one that would stand out? Is that what he had to be, to be that one spot different to the rest of the snow? Was he the type of cat to do that?

He was. The thought chilled him to the bone. It made the hair on his back spike up with fear and his ears flatten with misery. He didn't want to be different if that was the cost. His clanmates would never turn their backs to him, but only if he didn't turn his back to them first. If he could just be... even a little bit nicer, perhaps someday, he could be a warrior worth something to his clan.
"... I..." He paused. He turned to look at Rippedsky, his green eyes shining with unshed tears as he felt frustration bubble in his chest. "I think I'm the one who's wrong." He confessed. Up here, the tears that fell would simply look like the droplets of icicles, only his mentor would know. "I just... I want to be great. I want to be the best warrior Skyclan has ever had." He blinked, lowering his gaze to the branch below Rippedsky's paws. He was wrong on how he did it, he knew that now, but apologising was something the young cat had never done. Something, he didn't know how to do. "Is it bad... th-that I still want to be the best?" He asked softly, after a moment.

Being the greatest warrior was something he desired, but no longer to simply be the best. He wanted to help his clan, to feel comfort in the knowledge that they too, would help him. Wouldn't leave him stranded in the mud. Alone.

All of his anger continued to melt away and his eyes softened. His tail flicked gently across the apprentice's back, "There is nothing that should stop you from wanting to be a great warrior. However, you have to remember that the greatest asset of a warrior is his heart and his judgment. Cats can be born with strength and misuse it and become a failure. But a cat with heart can learn to best any situation." These were things he had mulled over throughout his entire life. Never was there a time he was more grateful than now. Life in Skyclan had helped him to grow in and develop his values. It still terrified him to think what he had the potential to become in Windclan. However, this was no time to consider these things. The focus had to be on what Sedgepaw could learn now.

He had once wished a cat would be here to teach him on lessons of life, particularly after the Riverclan and Windclan battle. They had not come right away but rather in the form of Crowstar and then Webtail. Now, it was his turn to do the same. They sat together in the stillness of the day. He could feel the sun beginning to wash over his pelt and he closed his eyes to embrace the warmth. While he sat there, he continued to think and remarked softly, "Your successes do not need to be defined by another's failure." Rippedsky was thinking of his son when he spoke. Sedgepaw, along with several other clan cats, were not the biggest fans of Mumblefoot. If anything he wished that would change, the little tom did try.

It was a relief when he saw Rippedsky's anger continue to fade. The small gesture of contact was both a comfort, but felt like a warning as well. He slouched down on the branch, his gaze back on the world below them as he listened quietly to what his mentor was telling him. It seemed strange, the idea that a cat who was strong could infact be a failure at all. He blinked as he considered the words carefully, as he began to truly think and comphrehend that things he had done had been wrong.

The sun felt warmer somehow. As he sat on that branch, contemplating all the words that Rippedsky had laid out before him. He couldn't help the scoff that erupted from his throat at the next words. Another's failure, he meant Mumblepaw didn't he? How could he not be a success compared to that wimp? For a moment, he was about to break the warm mood that had blanketed over them. His mouth open and ready to spit hateful words towards his mentor's son.

None came out.

His mind caught up to him before he dared to speak them. Thoughts pushed into his mind, asked him... why? Why was he condemning a fellow apprentice, one who definitely did try. He hadn't been asked to be born without a tail anymore than he had been asked to be born afraid of... he felt a spike of fear as a crow called out from a nearby tree. His claws dug into the bark fiercly as he flattened abit closer to the branch, the fur on his back pricked. The bird settled down in a tree quite a distance from them, and he found himself in a haste to calm himself down.
"Stupid bird." He grumbled to himself distastefully. He couldn't help but view his own weakness with spite. Desperate to not appear weak, he turned his attention to Rippedsky. "What do you expect me to say?" He spat, covering his fear with anger. It was the only way he knew to suppress it.

His apprentice frightened much like his son did, although he assumed Sedgepaw would take even less kindly to any sort of reassuring gesture. Instead, he flicked an ear and paid no attention to the fear the silver tom had displayed. Rippedsky waited a moment for the tom to shift on the branches. How he tried to cover his lack of confidence with anger was rather obvious to the much older cat. All of his frustrations were gone. He and Sedgepaw had been having a decent moment and he wouldn't let any anger soil that.

"I'm not expecting you to specifically say anything. It's obvious you regret the things you've done. While I'm sure Mumblepaw would expect an apology, I don't need one. All I ask is that you start living to your full potential by thinking more before you speak or act." Rippedsky did little more than lightly flick the apprentice's pelt with his tail tip. They'd spend plenty of time up here, finally talking through things as mentor and apprentice, but there was practical work to be done. They would finally be able to jump into training with both paws. Although he was ever headstrong and quick to leap into things, Sedgepaw was going to make a good warrior. Starclan had been watching out for them after all.

"Alright, we should get some training done while we're out here. If you listen, I'll tell you about everything I learned from fighting Ivystar back as an apprentice..."