I Don't Enjoy Your Stupid Grin [closed]

She never slept anymore.

The days that were once filled with exciting, liberating patrols and exhilarating skirmishes were now filled with nothing more than the tedious, frustrating duties of taking care of her rambunctious brood. Nights that were once filled with daring escapades and occasional rendezvous were spent coaxing midnight feedings and soothing nightmares. Addergaze's life was nothing how she imagined it would be and she felt nothing but rage and despair over that fact. She was was used to spending her days fighting off creatures off all sizes and leaping through the trees, not ending petty squabbles between the disappointing litter that she had managed to rear. It was if the moment that her belly began to swell with these kits, she had become deemed cursed in the eyes of Starclan; a stillborn kit, the loss of her mate, and the crippling of one of her kits?

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Hazekit had been born stiff, cold, and practically rotting. It wasn't fair that Eagleheart, in all of his stupidity, somehow managed to get his throat kicked it. It wasn't fair that Aspenkit had become a chewtoy to some witless fox and now resembled half-killed prey more than he did her son. It wasn't fair that every blessing she was supposed to receive was thrown to some other meaningless pleb within the Clan.

Addergaze's large paws churned up the soft, dry soil that surrounded the Halfstone as she continued to circle the massive stone absently, preoccupied by her dark thoughts. The weak sunlight of the day felt nice- plus the eerie quiet that encompassed this stretch of the territory helped soothe the raging pounding in her skull- spending most of her time in the nursery gave her headaches now. If she was cooped up in that camp for another heartbeat, she likely would of gutted some poor cat. Although she did get to escape the camp more nowadays, it was usually only to train Sagepaw; which wasn't very fun considering that all she seemingly did now was take care of Skyclan's young. Today, however, she had managed to set one day aside solely to actually take the time to enjoy herself. Or at least try to.

Tilting her large head up, Addergaze finally pausing in her agitated pacing long enough to feel the weak warmth of the sun on her face. Perhaps the break in the rather poor weather would of lured some prey out- it would be nice to sink her claws into something other than moss for once. There was a faint, jumbled scent clinging to the stone, but Addergaze could hardly decipher was it actually was. She didn't really know or care, but all she knew was that she was finally alone- and she wished to stay that way for as long as possible.

Lilyheart felt awful, for Addergaze, the she-cat seemed to be loosing or nearly loosing all the cats she was close to. The ill-tempered she-cat though already foul of temper grew ever worse as she went into the nursery, and with her mate Eagleheart dead, a still-born kitten and another crippled she felt as if Addergaze would explode any day now. So, with that thought in mind the she-cat took in a breath and puffed out her fur before letting her fur lie flat.

Lilyheart wasn't aware if Addergaze realized that she and Hawkstrike had saved her kits life, and if she did she hardly expected to hear any sort of thank or appreciation from her. Pushing the thought away she put on a soft smile, Lilyheart leaped down from the tree she claws loosening the bark as she landed with a loud thump not trying at all to be silent. "Hey there Addergaze... Would you like to go hunt something?" Politely requested the black and white she-cat.

Striding up towards the rather angry she-cat with a sense of grace she stopped right beside the she-cat looked down at her, rolling her shoulders as she looked into the forest she meowed. "You know, if your kittens are giving you too much trouble and you want to get away for a while I could take care of them?" Lilyheart offered with a soft-chuckle, her paws shuffling with the awkwardness of the conversation despite it having just started.