Goodbye to a thousand hearts (closed for thechosentrash)

It was night. The deep purple sky hung over the clan camp like a blanket, with shining stars like gemstones glittering beautifully and the moon in the middle like a king. Mistpaw's eyes were glazed, and she drearily stared into nothing at all, but she vowed not to sleep. When the moon was highest, she would leave. She would run away, and never come back. The clans weren't right for her. She hated the rankings, the warrior code, the borders, the fresh-kill.. It didn't suit her at all. She had been contemplating this a while ago, and found that the life of a loner, or rogue, was perfect. There were no rules to follow, no food to share, and no leaders to order her around. She would leave her clan life behind, and instead be called 'Mist'.. It rolled off her tongue like honey. But, her family and friends would be left behind, and she was saddened by the thought of it. But, you couldn't have everything. As she was thinking deeply about the things she would gain and the things she would lose, a crow squawked, and she gazed up into the sky.

It was time.

She raised herself up to her paws, then stretched, knowing that she would be travelling quite a bit tonight. But first she had to say goodbye, and she knew this would be the hardest part. First, she quietly padded over to her mother, her light paws making no sound. 
"You were kind, and I am glad for that. You looked after me, fed me and gave me life, so i am forever grateful." she whispered, then slunk over to Silentstrike, her father, who was sleeping only a few tail-lengths away. 
"You live up to your name, and you are a witty fighter. I hope you serve your clan well in the years to come."
She shuffled up to Featherpaw, and knelt down close to her.
"You and Laurelpaw were some of the best siblings i could ever ask for. Thank you."
Then, the last one. 
"Laurelpaw, I... I love you, and I hope you are safe. But please remember your actions have consequences, and don't let your ambition take over." 
She was shaking. It was scary, and she didn't know what to do. But then she straightened herself up, and made her way to the exit. The place that would change her mind. But, as she moved, she bumped an apprentice with her paw, and they shuffled around a bit before getting up. She tried to run as fast as possible, but it was too late. She froze, as the apprentice looked at her through tired eyes.

Shadepaw was sore--she had spent a long day out in the territory, chasing rabbits and practicing battle moves long after her mentor had told her to call it quits. She was determined not to return to camp with empty paws--to her credit, she had managed to finally bring down a rabbit, though she suspected it may have been a rather old, slow one. Still, it was better than nothing, and she had taken it directly to the elders den, finding that it was worth the sore muscles.
Still, because of her soreness, Shadepaw was sleeping rather poorly, unable to really get comfortable and fall into a deep sleep. So, when Mistpaw bumped into her paws, it was certainly no surprise that she woke up quickly. Started, she pushed herself to her paws quickly, and looked at Mistpaw blearily for several moments, as though her brain wasn't quite catching up to her eyes to properly process what she was seeing. "Mistpaw?" She finally mewed quietly; a yawn broke through her jaws before she spoke again. "Where are you off to?"

Mistpaw sighed drearily. She had hoped this wouldn't happen, and of course it did. She strained her eyes to see who it was. They looked like a she-cat, and they had primarily gray fur... it was Shadepaw? She had expected someone else, but it was a bad situation all the same. "Shadepaw.." she muttered, so quiet she doubted anyone else would hear besides her and the other apprentice she had woken up. "I'm leaving. Tonight," she stated, as if she didn't know. "I'm becoming a rogue. Or a loner. They're nearly the same thing." No point in sugarcoating it. She'd find out sooner or later. But, she needed Shadepaw to do one thing.

 "Could you, um... Could you not tell anyone? Perhaps they'll believe it was a fox attack or something similar." She felt bad saying it, but she didn't want to look like a traitor or a coward.

Shade paw's eyes went wide in surprise; she didn't know Mistpaw that well, but she couldn't imagine why the other apprentice would want to leave the clan... Had something happened? Mistpaw seemed close with her family, wouldn't she miss them? Didn't she care they they would miss her? Besides all of that, it was terribly unsafe to be a loner, without anyone looking out for you, no fresh kill pile in the middle of camp, no cozy den to curl up in at night... And the clan needed Mistpaw just as much as Mistpaw needed them, perhaps more! They needed warriors to defend their borders and keep the clan fed. "But why?" she finally mewed, looking distressed, "The clan needs you, Mistpaw! And what about your family?" She was trying to keep her voice down, despite the high stakes of the situation, not wanting to wake anyone else.

"I.. I know that," Mistpaw sighed, stuttering in the middle of her sentence. "But.. clan life is too restricting. I feel like there isn't a meaning.. That i'm just supposed to follow in my families footsteps. But.. what if i don't want to be a warrior? I'll still be forced to, same as if i was a medicine cat. Of course i love my family, and i feel bad leaving my clan behind, but.. I'll never feel fulfilled if i live in Windclan. I'll never feel special, I'll never be different... And that's horrible to me. The worst thing, to be honest, is leaving my family, but.." She was already crying, salty tears streaking down her face. She gingerly wiped them away, the wet fur clinging to her like a hungry kit, and continued speaking.

"Could you.. just.. make sure my sisters are okay after this?" she murmured feebly, suddenly feeling stuck in the same position like her paws were made of stone. "I don't want them to be.. sad. Just.. don't tell anyone what i did. You can't change my decision." She breathed in deeply, "I'm sure we'll meet again. G-goodbye." And with that, she left, disappearing into the wilderness. 

And then, she ran.

She ran as fast as she can, her feet almost gliding off the ground. Her tail whipped behind her like a furious snake, and her breathing began to become shallow. She only stopped when she reached the abandoned barn, and she panted heavily like she had a fur-ball stuck in her throat. "Goodbye, Windclan..." she muttered, "Goodbye, family, Goodbye, friends. Goodbye, mentor. Goodbye, Shadepaw." She entered the barn, and drifted off into a fitful sleep.