When an Owl Dies, a Hawk is Born [Open]

Hawkstrike was resting near the entrance of the medicine cat’s den. He knew he was supposed to be inside, resting on the nest made for him as his wounds healed, but he couldn’t stand being inside that den any longer. He sighed deeply as he looked at the cats going on their everyday routines, from its playing to warriors going in and out from camp for patrols, feeling slightly frustrated by being forced to stay in camp and do nothing…much like the time he had to spend punished in camp back at ShadowClan after the Dark Forest was chased out thanks to taking sides with them.

However, there was a huge difference this time. The cats in this clan, or at least most of them, didn’t send him hatred filled glares or talked about him being a traitor behind his back. Yes, he had to keep the whole act of being an old SkyClan warrior that found his way back, and he had even been trying to come up with a believable story to explain where he had gone during all this time and why none in the clan knew about him to begin with, but compared to all what he had to go through back at his old real clan, he felt free and calm.

His eyes traveled across the camp in search for Crowstar. He was really kind to let him in when he didn’t need to. It would had been way easier for the dark leader to chase him out or finish the work Mudfoot had started back at ShadowClan’s territory, and he felt infinitely grateful for such action. Plus, Crowstar was one of those cats that were on the Dark Forest‘s side during their reign, reason why he respected him more than he would ever resect Thrushstar or Leopardfang, probably could understand him better than any other cat in the whole forest…and had also taken in and protected Webtail and Lightingstrike some time ago, the two cats that were more like his family than anyone else, including his own father. For all that, he felt deeply indebted with him, and consequently with his clan now that he was part of it.

With another sigh, he turned his head to look at his wounds, most of them were healing well, and the medicine cat’s skills probably would help him to avoid scars…but the one over n his face was a different story. It was still prone to reopen, and several herbs and cobwebs had to be placed over it at least 3 times per day just to avoid this. It was definitely going to leave a nasty scar if it ever healed at all. He was just happy to know that his eye came out undamaged from such brutal attack.

OOC: Lily is assuming the tussel thing if it was never stated, still trying to catch up on your plot <3

Lilyheart had just come back from a hunting patrol when she saw Hawkstrike sitting outside the medicine cat den. To be frank when the tom came into Skyclan camp like he has fought a million badgers it had piqued her curiosity and interest immensely. The time seemed right to approach the tom, with him hardly being fussed over and her not on patrol. Making a quick stop Lilyheart brought her bird and squirrel to the fresh-kill pile and picked up a fair sized rabbit, enough for two. Inhaling she proudly strode over to the brown tom with a kind smile on her maw, though it was blocked by the rabbit she carried. Stopping before the tom just a tail length away she placed down the rabbit.

"That must have been one nasty tussle you got into to have given you such a terrible wound." Blatantly stated the beautiful black and white she-cat, crystalline blue eyes full of inquiry. "I'm Lilyheart, Crowstars daughter. If I'm not mistaken you must be Hawkstrike, are you free to eat with me?" rather politely offered the she-cat, sitting herself down in front of him, after all she didn't feel quite comfortable enough to really sit right next to him. Picking up one of her speckled paws she licked it and drew it over her ears as she waited for a response from the tom, she didn't know him too well but from what she had seen he was rather nice.

Hawkstrike’s ears immediately darted up as soon as he heard the she-cat’s voice, turning his head to see her. His eyes reflecting sincere surprise as she placed the rabbit down between the two and sat down. He couldn’t remember the last time he was treated so nicely by another cat that wasn’t Webtail, Lightingstrike or Amberclaw, and had to remember to himself that he was no longer in a clan that considered him as nothing but a traitor and killer.

After quickly shaking his surprise off, he nodded politely, hoping his reaction wasn’t too obvious and scolding himself for being so careless “Of course, it’s always nice to have some company” He meowed softly, a small smile forming on his muzzle as he did “You know my name already, would you mind if I ask yours?” His words were polite and careful, and though it didn’t sound fake, his way of speaking was nothing but a mask used as a precaution he had to take many times before to avoid things such as exile and death itself, so it wasn’t something he could get rid of easily to reveal his true self.

But Lilyheart noticed, brow quirking in response but she quickly brushed it off, he was still very new so a cat he had never spoken too being nice to him might be unheard of, especially after being alone for so long. "I'm Lilyheart, Crowstar's daughter." She meowed softly, adjusting her position so she could lay down she crossed her paws and curled her tail across her back legs. Lilyheart curtsied, bowing her head softly in respect of the toms space. "Do you like rabbit?" She asked quickly before getting to the root of what she really wanted to ask, she'd get him just a little more comfortable with her before getting to the root of what she wanted to ask. Giving him one of her slightly more charming smiles she let her ears softly hang more the sides instead of the higher position they rested at that had displayed her eagerness.

But she couldn't wait for long, used to getting answers almost immediately she meowed albeit rather boldly. "I'd like to get to know you Hawkstrike, would you like to tell me about yourself? Forgive me if I sound rude or like I'm not giving you any options but to do so... I know that cats sometimes take it that way especially when I'm the daughter of Skyclan's leader."

Though the young warrior seemed regal and polite, every bit royalty she was very nervous on the inside she felt that how she spoke and posed herself would only drive the handsome tom away. It was always the tiniest bit embarrassing to act like she did too, though she couldn't help that much since it came naturally too but her heats heated at the thought regardless. Some of her feelings seemed to have been coming through when she noticed that her brows scrunched just a little bit and her eyes were staring at her paws, the rabbit just in her field of vision, she quickly fixed her own slip-up. She noticed his own slip-up but maybe he wouldn't notice hers, he probably would since she wasn't so quick or used to covering her own emotions.

Hawkstrike slowly dragged himself to a more comfortable position before sniffing the rabbit, hissing softly as some of his wounds complained when he moved and turning his head quickly to check if he hadn’t made a mouse-brained decision, reopening one. As soon as he was sure this wasn’t the cause he let out a relieved sigh before turning to face Lilyheart “I will be honest with you, I had never tried it…and if I ever did it was so long ago I can’t even remember it” He knew it was somehow unusual to hear, since he guessed SkyClan used to eat rabbits, but he saw no reason to lie about something like this. After all, most of his life his main diet were toads, lizards and rats during Leafbare. When you’re an outcast withing your own clan or a rogue in ShadowClan’s territory, it’s not like you have much of an option for better prey.

However, as soon as he was to give the rabbit a testing bite, Lilyheart’s question reached his ears, and after a second of thought he finally decided that his meal could wait for a bit “It’s ok, its only logic you want to know more about me, given how none here but Crowstar seems to even remember who I am” Unlike most cats, he had been forced to grow up in a world of lies and secrets, reason why it was impossible to tell apart a lie from a truth when talking to him, thing that was proving to play on his favor quite a lot lately.

“I was an aloof cat when I was around, so my interactions with the rest of the clan were extremely limited, it didn’t really help that all the ones I used to call my friends here are already dead for what I see” His words were slow, full of the low melancholy of those who are remembering times of a distant past, a melancholy that even if fake sounded real coming from him “I’m sure you heard about the Dark Forest reign, during that time I took an unexpected path for most and when I wanted to go back, I found myself lost. I was forced to roam across territories I doubt most clan cats had ever visited, only my name reminding me I didn’t belong there. I’m not sure how, but somehow my paws managed to find their way back to the forest after many moons of unsuccessful attempts” As he spoke, he absentmindedly pawed at the soft fur of the piece of prey laying before them. Hawkstrike had spent a lot of time thinking about what he could use as reply to most questions that could be thrown at him without having facts conflicting each other to avoid being found out.

“However, it wasn’t SkyClan’s territory the one I found myself in, but ShadowClan’s. If my nose had recognized the scent or my memory had sent me a warning, I would had run away immediately, but in my joy of being back I let details slip. I only recognized the area when I reached the Carrionplace, and by then it was too late. I found a patrol, leaded by a cat named Mudfoot, they didn’t even ask. I got attacked without a chance to explain. My state was pitiful, lack of sleep and proper food made me unfit for battle, but the warrior overlooked this fact. I barely managed to escape before I was murdered, my paws threatening to give in under my own weight and my eyes to close to never open again. I was lucky though, it wasn’t long after when my paths crossed with Crowstar, and he recognized me as the warrior I was instead of just a dying rogue that crossed the borders into his territory. I highly doubt I would be here talking to you at all if it wasn’t for that…”

Lilyheart cringed softly when the pain Hawkstrike was in became evident, the hiss tugging a bit at her heart. The she-cat wasn't the most fond of battle, especially the pain it wrought but she understood the necessity of it, because not everything could be agreed on with words alone. "That's a shame.." Lilyheart softly interjected but let him take his time.

The she-cat felt a little bad as the tom stopped from taking a bite of the rabbit just to answer another one of her questions, but she just smiled and listened intently to the story that Hawkstrike was telling her. Head softly nodding her eyes soft with a sense of pity, though she was aware that he may not like it. Tail softly swaying she watched Hawkstrike as he spoke, a sense of deep respect welling in her chest.

When Hawkstrike mentioned that he had gone with the Darkforest only to turn back to Starclan she had to admit that she was a bit skeptical of such a change. But left it be, any cat could change if they willed it, and it seemed that Hawkstrike did have the will to do so. "It must have been hard to be alone for so long, no offense but it's quite amazing you'd lasted so long alone..." Her voice trailed, "You were alone weren't you? No strange cats along your journey to befriend?" Lilyheart asked softly trying to push the pity from her voice. But the chance that Breezewhisker being out there and alive fuelling her question.

"Starclan must be watching you for you to be so lucky to be found by my father, though you're injured and under-fed you seem like a strong cat. Once you're back up on your paws, Skyclan will be greatful to have you back again." The young she-cat purred, ears pricking to signify her glee. Though she was happy, she wasn't liking the sound of this Mudfoot cat, he sounded a bit too battle hungry for her liking. Coming back to herself she gave a little 'oh!' when she realized he still hadn't taken a bite of the rabbit yet. "Sorry, please take a bite and you can answer my previous questions." She meowed softly, looking away shyly.

Hawkstrike’s mind flashed back to Webtail, Lightingstrike and Amberclaw, the three cats that had been exiled with him and that he still had yet to find. He found it awkward though, according to Crowstar he had decided to take at least the first two in as well. Maybe they were just busy with warrior duties or were unaware of his presence? He still had no idea of what had happened to Amberclaw though, and the thought still haunted him to this day “Well…there were three cats. One went by the name Webtail, other by the name Lightingstrike and the last one was named Amberclaw. I know I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them, but with the harsh Leafbare making feeding the four of us so hard and with my lamentable state being nothing but dead weight one night I left them while they slept. As staying with them any longer would be a selfish way to put their lives in risk for a cat with so low chances of surviving as me. I…just wish I could see them again even if just once, and thank them for all what they did for me”.

The story was half true this time. Though he made sure to not blow off his cover, he obviously couldn’t bring himself to lie about how much he appreciated the three warriors that had been more of a family to him than any other cat ever could. He missed them too much and wished he could share a couple words with them again like in the old times, even if that meant putting his current act in risk.

Hawkstrike nodded lightly when she mentioned StarClan watching over him, having to hold back his tongue to not correct her out loud No, StarClan abandoned me since I was born, taking away everything I had piece by piece. If someone is watching over me right now, is the Dark Forest. Only they had ever cared about me… Though the bitter thoughts made him feel a glint of that constant anger and hatred that haunted him since he was nothing but a newly named apprentice, it didn’t showed in his relaxed way of behaving or expressions at all.

Pulling the rabbit closer to himself to not have to move again from his spot, he took a small bite, trying the fluffy piece of prey he had only heard about “Wow…tastes way better than the kind of prey I remember eating” A smile formed on his muzzle as he spoke, quickly taking another bite and offering the prey to Lilyheart right after so she could do the same, not wanting to be impolite.

Lilyheart's face fell as she heard that Hawkstrike was still looking for his friends, one of which she never heard of but she knew the fate of the other two. Getting to her paws she stepped over the rabbit that he pushed towards her, nothing seemed more important than that moment. Settling down next to the tom and covering his back with her fluffy black tail she put her nose against his head, her own eyes misting.

The tom was probably very confused and would be rightfully wondering what had happened, taking a moment for herself she tried to phrase her words wisely, a grieving tom that had only these friends for such a long time would want the news then and there, no sugar-coating. "Hawkstrike, I really shouldn't be the one to break this to you but you shouldn't wonder any longer. Webtail and Lightningstrike are dead, I'm not so sure about Amberclaw but I suspect the same fate befell them. Webtail was slain by a fox while hunting for his clan.. Lightningstrike struck down by a Riverclan cat, though justice for his murder came swift and violent." She meowed softly, consoling.

Settling down next to him she wrapped her paw across his shoulders, pulling him gently into her. Though she was prepared for him to brush her off cruelly, she would understand completely since he would be grieving. Lilyheart never really had to comfort a cat in their grief, but she tried her best by humming soft tunes and melodies.

Hawkstrike chewed calmly on the bunny as Lilyheart changed positions, not completely sure of what was going on. He never had been treated in such ways, the closest thing to comfort he got on the past coming from Amberclaw, his former mentor…and to make a long story short that compassion ended in him getting encouraged to turn his emotions to rage and then use it in battle, hunting and other warrior chores as fuel. After that he rarely got any kindness at all, only being treated as a traitor and then as an exiled rogue.

However, his calm attitude started to turn into a confused one as she put her tail on his back and her nose against his head. He listened to her carefully, inside his mind the words echoing over and over again in a fight to settle in against the resistance he was putting against it. Denying the truth that he had lost those he had grown so close to, that they were gone. But in the end, he finally couldn’t deny it any longer.

He was alone again.

Without thinking and probably without realizing it, he retracted his paws and curled his tail around his body, getting as small as he possibly could as the realization sank deeper within him. He didn’t even noticed the consoling actions of Lilyheart as she tried to help him with his grief. For him, time had stopped and he was alone, back in that cold place he had been forced into after his father left and before the three cats approached to him at all.

His eyes stared into the emptiness, not focused on anything. He would need to hunt down the fox that had killed Webtail in one way or another, make the canine pay for what it had done. And if the cat that killed Lightingstrike wasn’t dead already he would’ve been completely able to cross the border and walk into RiverClan’s camp itself to do the same. At the thought, the already well-known feeling of his rage masking his blood feel like it was boiling and his fur standing on end overwhelmed him, having to sink his claws into the dirt underneath his paws to not lash out and slash through everything and anyone in his way. And Amberclaw, his former mentor, probably had the same fate as them and he didn’t even knew who had to pay for such thing.

“T-the…wh…where did...wh-where are they buried?” He barely could speak, his voice low and raspy, continuously interrupted by sharp gasps his throat closing. They obviously had to bury them like they would with any warrior…and he felt that he had to visit their final resting place, pay the respects they deserved.

Lilyheart softened as the tom seemed to shrink into himself, sadness squeezing at her heart though she couldn't even imagine what the tom could be going through in that moment. Though, she noticed the change in Hawkstrike as his fur bristled and his body tensed. Her own seemed to respond as she was preparing herself for anger to be thrown at her, but it never came. With that realization and his shaky detached question coming out of his mouth, she got to her paws with a soft nod.

"Sure." Was all she said, the words 'can you get up?' dying on her tongue as she instead quietly offered her shoulder to lean on. The already injured form of the tom and with grief being so strong knew that it might just be tough for him to get to his paws, looking away she surveyed the camp with hesitance in her eyes; was it even okay for him to leave camp? Lilyheart found that she didn't care, this tom needed to see the grave site, and if for some reason she got in trouble for it she'd know that in her heart she did what was right.

Tucking the rabbit out of sight for a later date she turned back to Hawkstrike with a soft meow. "It'll be alright some day, and I know you don't know me too well... but I'm here for you just as I am for my father and all of my clan-mates that I care for." She realized that her words may just fall on deaf ears but she was alright with it, it made her feel more convinced and ready for the future ahead.

Slowly yet without any sign of hesitation, the tom got back on his paws, using Lyliheart as support as she offered it. His wounds once more complained against his every move, causing him to clench his teeth tightly just to avoid making any sound, knowing better than to try and bite his tongue to achieve the same goal. No need of adding unnecessary wounds to his body.

Adding to that the pain and boiling rage that came with the news of his friends’ fates, making his paws feel like the thick mud that he used to walk on while he still was on ShadowClan instead of flesh and bone, he almost fell once again. However, just like many times in his past, his fiery determination forced his own body to ignore its own limits and get the strength from where he only had weakness. His face locked in a frown and sharp gasps making it past his clenched, it took him several seconds to recover, Lilyheart’s words barely audible above the buzzing the effort he had just made brought to his ears.

“Each time someone makes a promise like that to me they either abandon me or die, so forgive me for not believing you” His words were as sharp as his claws, driven by the mix of grief and rage that coursed through his body in that moment. Though by the way he said them it looked like he didn’t meant to say them out loud and probably didn’t even noticed that he did at all. His green eyes finally returned from the void they had been staring into, no longer absent “Let’s go…”.

Lilyheart pressed against the tom to help the best she could and walked at his own pace she lead him towards the grave site, pushing away fronds to give him a more clear path to walk. Lilyheart was hurt by his words, but her own determination to win this tom over as a friend had her push on, though it wasn't hard. He wouldn't be a good enough warrior of Skyclan once more if he couldn't trust in his clan-mates. Why couldn't he trust in his clan-mates? It should be natural to any-cat even if they have emotional trauma like Hawkstrike? She didn't understand..."I can tell you've had a tough life, and from what you've been telling me you haven't had much for support. I know that you're going to be hard to win the trust of, but I believe that it's possible Hawkstrike." She meowed with a soft hardness to her tone.

It wasn't long until they came upon Lightningstrike and Webtails graves, a respect falling over her as she made sure to step over other cats graves as she manoeuvred Hawkstrike towards them. "Careful, watch your step, even if you don't know these cats or hold them in the same regard of Webtail and Lightningstrike respect should still be shown." It was more of a precaution than anything, because she knew that some cats would step upon the graves.

Once they got to the graves she positioned them to be inbetween the two of them, their graves sitting side-by-side. "Well, here they are." She announced softly, sprigs of grass and flowers decorating them. Lilyheart was tied between giving him privacy and not, he was injured and outside camp he was a sitting duck. Finally deciding though with hesitance she got to her paws and gave his ears a soft lick before meowing, "I'll be a little ways away, you'll be in my sights and my ear shot but if you want to say something private you can whisper - unless you want me to stay? Whatever you want." She meowed, hesitance in her voice almost obvious.

Hawkstrike raised his gaze to meet Lilyheart’s as she spoke, his expression neutral the whole time before finally looking away, not really trying to answer her at all. She seemed determined to win him over, but after being betrayed by the cat that meant the world to him and the abandoned by the rest of the clan he only heard hollow promises coming from her just like he would from anyone else.

He was sincerely annoyed by his wounds at this point, not only because of the pain they caused, but also because of how stupidly slow and hard they made for him to move at all. It didn’t get any better when he had to avoid the graves of the other dead cats. He was completely sure he stepped on at least a couple of them in the process regardless of his best efforts to no do so after Lilyheart’s request, but in his current state it was like trying to walk on a thin branch that the breeze kept moving.

As soon as they arrived to where his dearest friends were buried, he allowed himself to lie down, giving his paws and body a rest “I…need a moment alone, please” His voice was low and gloomy, his eyes locked on the dirt that covered Webtail and Lightingstrike’s bodies. He waited for Lilyheart to leave his field of vision, completely silent, before he allowed himself to break “Why…why you too?” He hissed under his breath, claws unsheathed and eyes tightly closed, his whole body shaking in a mix of deep sadness, rage, grief, despair… “They keep taking away everything I have, everyone I love…”.

No longer able to keep a mask on and not even trying at this point, forgetting completely that Lilyheart could still be close enough to hear, he allowed his true self loose “One day…one day I’ll see you again, and I’ll hunt at your side alongside our mentors and friends. I…I’ll make you proud, I'll bring them back, I don’t know how, but I will bring them…you…back to the forest...to where you belong” He was completely unaware of the change of Webtail and Lightingstrike’s loyalties, not knowing that they probably hunt with StarClan now instead of the Dark Forest like he thought.

Without thinking, he raised his head to glare at the sky, at the cats of StarClan that he blamed for all this pain he was being forced to go through since he could remember, before letting out a loud long yowl. The yowl was a perfect reflection of his feelings, flooded with the sadness and grief of a cat that lost everything in his life, and the rage of someone that wanted their revenge.

Lilyheart tried hard to give the tom his privacy but as his voice raised that had so much anger and passion, grief and promise making it thick. But as he started spitting the word 'them' she grew curious, who was 'them... bring them back to the forest'? But that was another question for a different time, her mindset shifting as a yowl broke through the air. In that moment she realized how much the tom felt and could feel, walking back towards him she brushed her fur against his trying whatever she could to just make him a little less sad.

Laying next to him she let them sit in silence, taking the time to groom his fur especially where the sore tom couldn't reach and being mindful of any scratches that were still healing. Lilyheart pulled him close once more, worry sharpening her gaze as she looked around for any potential dangers, she understood the need to let it out but foxes and badgers could be lurking. Looking down at the graves, she wished them well and softly rested her head on his once more.

"What was really your relationship with Lightningstrike, Webtail, and Amberclaw? Was it like being brothers? Was it something else to you? Because I don't think they were originally Skyclan." Lilyheart softly muttered, a wind with a cold bite to it swishing through their fur and Lilyheart shifted with annoyance the first few emotions she'd expressed that day other than happiness and sadness. Mind going onto a different tangent Lilyheart thought that it was rather strange before brushing it away with a small smile, her nose just brushing against his ear.

Hawkstrike jumped slightly when he felt Lilyheart rub against himself, remembering she was around and starting to grow worried about how much she had heard from the things he said during his pain-induced chatter. He, however, relaxed when she showed no signs of worry or distrust towards him. He needed to be way more careful from now, but the loss of all the ones he loves was too much for him to just brush off.

Hawkstrike just sighed, allowing Lilyheart to groom his fur as he placed his head between his front paws, eyes locked on the two graves before him. Unlike the she-cat at his side he simply couldn’t care less about potential dangers lurking around them, his mind not even processing that such treats could actually exist in his current mournful state.

“They were not my family, but they were the closest thing I ever had to one. I never met my mother, my relationship with any brothers and sisters is so inexistent that if I didn’t overhear other cats talking about them I wouldn’t even know that I had some…and I don’t know if any of them is still alive” His voice was merely above a whisper by now, flashbacks flooding his mind. He was talking the truth now, but was being careful to not be specific to avoid suspicion “Even my own father…wanted me dead. He made it really clear to me last time I saw him” He caught himself on the very last second, correcting himself and talking on a past time instead of present like he originally was going to do “I had nothing left when I met them, they gave a second chance, a reason to stay alive….and now they are gone…”.