Reflection (closed for Chu)

Shellwater sat by the river, looking down into its depths. It was raging especially high this leaf-bare season, but despite the quickness of its current, she could still make out her reflection. Her once beautiful features were now marred beyond repair. Her black-and-orange mottled fur was tattered and matted with small bits of dried blood she couldn't wash off because it was too sore. Her face and shoulders were covered with crusty, scabby scars that showed obviously whenever she moved. The deep, slashing scar across her muzzle impaired her sense of smell and made her look like a grizzled old elder. She walked with a slight limp and it hurt to unsheathe her claws. Her tail stub was as pitifully short and shaggy as ever, and her almond eyes were weary and pain-filled.

She had gotten her warrior name out of pity. Sleetpaw obviously didn't care for her. Everyone was too busy fretting over Frogpaw- though she was as worried as them- to remember her problems. She had to face it- she would never have a mate or kits. She could never be a strong warrior. She would never fit in among her Clanmates again. The bright, bubbly, beautiful life of the party Shellpaw was gone forever; this maimed, impaired, handicapped Shellwater was in her place. The tired she-cat looked down at the water- the deep, dangerous, flowing, peace-giving water.... Would any one miss her if she just... Fell?

Shellwater took a step closer to the abrupt edge.

Much like his namesake, Otterleap was swimming through the torrents, slipping between rocks with freakish ease with his tail serving as his rudder. Every now and then, he'd surface to breath but his evergreen eyes were open wide to look for the familiar slivers of silver that would tell him that a fish was near. His powerful webbed paws sliced through the current, allowing him perfect control over himself, even when debris hit him by surprise.

However, the rapids were up ahead and even with his skill level, that was just too much so he was about to slink out at the next chance but then he saw her.

Shellwater stood terrifyingly too close to the bank. The recently named warrior whom still looked quite battered was precariously about to step over the edge, only being held back by her natural survival instincts, it seemed. He couldn't tell if it was the water he just accidentally inhaled from surprise or simply the knowledge that she was that melancholy that made him feel ill, but he knew that if anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.

He'd had a crush on her since kithood, admiring her beautiful calico fur and the cute stump that was her tail. Otterleap had thought her to be the most beautiful cat in the clan, and still did, especially because she was strong. But even beyond that, he knew that she had so much to give and so much to experience in the world. It would be both unfair to her and to the world for her to die so young.

So with renewed strength, he ducked under the surface to lay both his feet on the riverbed before pouncing out to the shallows. As he scrambled out of the water, he yowled, "Shellwater! Shellwater, don't!"

The voice of Shellwater's good friend startled her. She turned sharply around to see him scampering towards her on the riverbank, sleek brown pelt soaking wet, deep green eyes wide with horror. The sight of her denmate brought a spark of warmth to her heart. However, in doing so her calico paws slipped on the slick mud and she lost her balance, tipping over the precarious edge into the rapids. No- No, wait!

The icy cold water shocked the young warrior as she plummeted in. She had underestimated the strength of the current, tossing her limp body to and fro like a wispy willow branch. Her panicking, outstretched claws scraped across the river's bottom, only to be flung up by the current a few seconds later, to catch a glimpse of the air above. She took one small, frantic gulp of air before being pushed back down into the violent water, smashing against a couple of sharp rocks that reopened a healed gap. It would be nice to have a tail for balance. She swirled through the current, orange almond eyes wide open as she was tossed up and down. Though her well-trained paws paddled through the deep water, she couldn't gain control of herself. She didn't want to die! Where was the bank? Which way was down? Where was Otterleap? "H-help me," she wailed into the brisk, chilly air before being swept down once more.

When he saw her fall into the waters, at first there was a sense of resignation and bitter defeat. Perhaps this was for the best, if living was so painful for her, who was he was to stop her? For him, a part of loving someone was letting them make their own choices, no matter how much it hurt him to watch them fall. There was only so much he could do for her.

'Are you mouse-brained?' a voice eerily similar to his grandmother piped up. 'Loving someone means protecting them, fighting for them even if they hate you for it. Save her!'

'But...' he wanted to protest, then he heard it. He heard Shellwater wail for help, a blossom of hope bloomed within him, which quickly became panic at the realisation that she was in real danger. He was being a mouse-brained idiot. Regardless of what she wanted, he could never live with letting her just die, a moment of idiotic melancholy had wasted precious seconds that he didn't have.

"Hold on!" The tom shouted, as he raced across the river bank before scaling up a fallen branch to use as a diving board to enter the rapids. The shock of the sheer pressure exerted by the current made it difficult to breathe but he refused to let that stop him, his large paws ploughed through the waters as he swam over to her. Otterleap fell under the waves many times, losing sight of her, but he always managed to get on top of it. Then finally, he bumped a paw against her and managed to scrabble around against the current to grip her by the scuff.

Mouth full, he meowed. "Try grab the coming- mmph- The coming branch!"

After she ducked down in the water again, Shellwater lost hope and started to succumb to the current, bashing her mercilessly against the riverbanks. But she felt a strong pair of jaws grab on to her scruff. She recognized that strong grip from countless hours of play in the nursery and training as apprentices- her best friend and denmate, Otterleap. Warmth blossomed in her heart, along with shame. What had she been thinking, putting him through this? I'm such a fish-brain... how could I do that to my friend?

The RiverClan she-cat took a deep gasp of air before his voice hit her ears. Grab onto what branch? Then her yellow-orange eyes caught sight of a hanging branch. Nodding slightly, the young warrior strained up to reach it, grabbing hold of it with her teeth and hoisting both her and the tom up onto the slimy banks, wet and shivering. Shellwater lay there on the cold, muddy ground, trembling and retching up water. "I'm- I'm sorry, Ot-Otterleap," she stammered quietly, eyes filled with tears

Lying on the bank beside her, Otterleap coughed up a fair bit of water as his jaws had been open to hold onto Shellwater. But the moment he could breathe again, his attention was on her, he could barely hear her words through his waterlogged ears but he caught her sentiment. With a wet sigh, he leaned over to lick her soaked cheek gently. "No. Ack. No, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be your friend, and I didn't even realise how much pain you must have been enduring. I got all worked up about avenging you that I forgot the reason behind my anger."

He couldn't quite meet her eyes anymore, looking off at her paws. Even her paws were pretty. It seemed like a such a stupid thought right now, but he couldn't help notice it. "I've just been struggling to talk to you normal like we did as apprentice because of my stupid heart. But I promise not to let it get between us, you're my friend. If you need me, I'll always be here for you. I care about you, don't, please don't ever try to leave like that again."

Shellwater lowered her eyes, shame flooding her senses. Otterleap was such a good cat. How could she do that to him? Apologizing would do no more good- the tom thought it was his fault. The calico she-cat refused to blame him for her foolish mistakes. Wretched, ugly and handicapped though she was, she still had to serve RiverClan to the best of her ability. As the young warrior sat there, looking at her best friend, it suddenly occurred to her that her feelings from him had slowly grown into something more. She had given up on Sleetpaw after making such a fool of herself over him. To avoid a reoccurrence of that embarrassing period of time, perhaps she had better just get it off her chest. She had no chance with the tom, but she ought to tell him anyway.

"Otterleap," she started, looking deep into his evergreen eyes, full of such kindness. "I-I've known you since I was a kit. We played mossball together, were apprenticed together, trained together. Through all that time, I thought of you only as my best friend. But w-when you reached me, I realized that you've become a lot more to me. I... I love you, Otterleap. I can't resist your strong muscles, your sleek pelt, your intelligent eyes. I adore your kindness and your loyalty to RiverClan. You could have any she-cat in RiverClan."

She looked away, tears filling her almond eyes. "I know I'm ugly. I'm scarred and battered and ruined and u-ugly, and I've come to terms with that. I know you're way out of my league, and I wish you the best of luck with whoever you choose as your m-mate." Probably Petalpaw- she's the prettiest apprentice in RiverClan. "I just wanted to let you know so that you understand why I'll avoid you from now on. I know you could never l-love a she-cat like me, and j won't make it awkward. I'll just stay out of your way. I'll probably never have a mate or kits, and that is okay. That's o-okay."

The she-cat had to stop because she didn't want him to know she was crying. Shellwater stood up and started to walk away.

At first, Otterleap was prepared for a rejection, a gentle purr from her as Shellwater told her that he was just not the right one for her. That her heart was still set on Sleetpaw, he couldn't blame her, he was impressive. A rare male tortoiseshell that had flecks of ginger like little embers in a forest fire and a sleek grey pelt like the riverbed. Compared to that, he was just a mass of barely noticeable tabby fur, even his eyes were just a plain green, nothing intense or ethereal like everyone else.

But that wasn't what she said.

Her words startled him, had him stunned so badly that he couldn't do speak. He watched with eyes wide and jaw unhinged as she spoke away, speaking of feelings hidden that she'd been enduring thinking they weren't reciprocated. It was madness, all those moons he'd spent crooning his love to the river in practice of the day he'd tell her or grooves carved into stone from his pacing, they were all for nothing.

She liked him.

She liked him and he was sitting there like a fool instead of chasing after her.

Otterleap sprang to his feet, the tabby tom taking the risk for the first time in his life. Instead of trailing behind others, trying to be the 'sensible' one or the voice of reason, he was taking life by the paws and doing what his heart told him was the right thing to do. And that was apparently half-tackling the love of his life in a hilariously terrible attempt to stop her from walking away.

"Oh! StarClan's whiskers! Are you okay? I didn't meant to- I mean, I meant to stop you but not like this. Mouse-dung, I planned for my grand confession of my love to be a bit more grand than this better, but I... Ack." Scrambling off her, he stood in front of her, blocking her path. "You have always been the most beautiful she-cat to me. Both outside and in. You take risks, you're bubbly, you know what you want. I admired how confident you seemed, even in the face of adversity, and I thought I've never have a chance with you. But I see now I was just being stupid, you're a cat with feelings, with doubts, and that's okay. It only makes me love you more. I shouldn't have been so scared to say something, maybe I would have spared us both this pain... So I guess, I'm saying now in this long-winded ramble. If you'd have me, I want to be your mate. I want to have kits with you, to hunt with you till our muzzles go grey. I want to spend this life and the next with you. If you'd have me."

Shellwater let out a yelp of surprise as Otterleap tackled her from behind. StarClan's ever-loving leaders, was he that mad at her? Well, she couldn't blame him, she supposed. She hastily got up, a blush faintly covering her cheeks as he apologized, ready for him to tell her that he absolutely understood and would stay away from her from then on. But that wasn't what he said.

He- he thought she was beautiful.

That she, a scarred, monstrous, ugly mess of a RiverClan warrior was... beautiful.

Otterleap wanted to be her mate? He had loved her this whole time? Well, what in StarClan were they waiting for?! The calico she-cat started laughing through her tears, smiling and laughing in absolute and utter joy. The sound bubbled up out of her, the sound a cascade of rippling waterfalls. She hadn't laughed in StarClan knew how long. Cracking a genuine smile hurt her face, but dear StarClan, it felt good. Her eyes welled up with tears of happiness. "Yes," she choked out, pressing her scarred, damaged nose to his perfect one. "Yes, yes, yes! I want to be your mate here and in StarClan and if there's something after StarClan I want to be your mate there. We'll have litters full of kits, we'll fill the nursery with the best warriors RiverClan will ever lay their eyes on, and they'll all grow up as perfect as you. We'll fight for RiverClan and fill the fresh-kill pile to overflowing together until we can't anymore, until we grow old and gray and our kits are all well set up, and then we'll tell stories to the kits of our kits. The day you die will be the day I join you in StarClan. Good StarClan, tom, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you! What are we waiting for?" Shellwater gazed deep into his eyes, adoring happiness on her face.