Love Songs Are Overrated, Let's Write A Book {Closed}

Heronwing wasn't particularly happy, nor was she sad. She wasn't angry, not excited, not fearful nor disgusted- she felt... Nothing. Her fur did not shine as much in the sunlight now as it did before, it was messy and dirty. She had not found the strength to pull herself out of her nest yet, or have the energy to eat. She had no motivation, no wants. She just... Sat there. But after being nudged by others repeatadely, she finally got up, groomed her fur, and got something to eat. It was not all the death and mourning that made her this way, nor the continuous disappearances. It was her own fault for forgetting how to live.

No, she would not rather die. She enjoyed life here and would not end it, but she wished for excitement and motivation again. All she had was encouragement, nothing to look forward to. So she created her own. She set goals each day, and this was helping, but her emptiness would not flee. She decided to take a walk, as the snow was melting, though slowly. She padded through the land, soon scenting a cat behind her. She didn't bother to look.

Why was it so hard. So hard to have a normal life, so hard to live happily with the cat he loved. Life was too complicated and Troutstep hated it. Though that was an understatement for the tom hated a lot of things. Walking farther and farther away from camp, his thoughts buzzed about like a swarm of angry bees. Immediately his thoughts fell to Whitefoot's daughters and the life he could've had with Rushreed but let her go. His mother, telling the truth, tearing apart his family was the next thought and nothing but anger stirred in his belly. Salmonstripe, another thing he hated.

Guess you could just say he was complicated cat.

The depressed tom walked on. It seemed as though day by day his joy if he ever had any ebbed away more and more. Trying to focus on something more joyful, Troustep's thoughts fell upon the new warrior Heronwing. He remember her ceremony, her being the usual excited cat ready to receive their warrior name but he noticed something in this cat’s soul was missing. He was no prophesier, but being a broken cat himself, it wasn’t that hard to see the young she cat was secretly lost. A few minutes after walking nowhere, he picked up a familiar scent. Heronwing. He picked up the pace, soon catching up to the she cat. “Hello Heronwing.” He mewed in his usual flat tone.

Heronwing quickly turned to see Troutstep. "G... Greeting, Troutstep." She weakly said, eyes dim and gazing at nothing in particular. The she-cat had become ridden with depression, but she thought she hid it well enough. No. She didn't. It was getting obvious, but the she-cat didn't care anymore. Troutstep, however, what she considered to be her acquaintance, was standing before her, and she knew he was a bit of a grump, if not depressed himself. "What're you doing out here? Just... Walking, too?" She asked weakly again.

"Guess you could say that." He meowed walking beside Heronwing. He wanted to say more but being next to her made him...speechless. He was never good at conversations and hoped his quietness didn't seem as though he was being rude. "What about you? Same thing?" He looked at the ground.

"Same thing," She said in response. Her eyes wandered to Troutstep again and she smiled lightly. She considered him to be a friend, yes, and he... Well, anybody being with her was comforting. The two broken cats walked together and she could not help but feel a little happy, this feeling inching in on her emptiness and sadness.

"A lot's been going on recently, don't ya think?" He said awkwardly. In all honesty, Heronwing and him weren't very close but hoped to try to get closer to her.

"Yeah. Most of my friends are dead, and the Sunningrocks thing, and..." She started, wandering off. She sighed a bit, and looked to the distance before looking to Troutstep again. She blinked quickly, before letting out a long breath. The cold air pricked at her fur, but she didn't care now.

"Sa---" Troutstep stopped himself from saying the same thing she had said. Mousebrain, this is going no where. He wanted to give an angry growl but bit his tounge. "You're probably glad you're a warrior now, right?" He asked. The two had practically walked around the whole territory and the tom wanted to stop and chat. They soon came across a quaint little pond and the tom sat down, flicking his tail for her to sit with him.

"I dunno. It's exciting, I suppose. I have more freedom, I guess." She mewed, soon sitting next to him at the pond. She flicked her tail and turned to Troutstep again. "The days fly faster now. It's... Odd." She mewed, quickly glancing away.

Troutstep nodded in agreement. After she turned away from looking at him, the tom couldn't help but say something. "Ya know, you should smile more." He meowed but afterwords felt so stupid. You should smile more? Who in StarClan would say that! He wished he had just kept his mouth shut and hoped Heronwing didn't take his comment the wrong way.

ooc-I'm so sorry for total lame posting ;w; awkward love, so romantic </3

Heronwing blinked in surprise, not expecting to get that comment. She knew he was of good intentions, though, so she knew he meant it nicely. The she-cat smiled a tiny bit. "I guess." he mewed, casting her gaze to him again. She deemed it awkward to look up now.

"Sorry." He said looking at the she cat. They were both awkward and Troutstep finally concluded that was alright. "Listen I know this is kinda...awkward. Just know that I'm trying my best." He let out a little chuckle, the first true chuckle in a while.

"It's fine. And I getcha." She mewed in response to his words. She smiled a bit, and cocked her head. "Well... What d'ya wanna do, since we're already this far into the territory?" She asked, hoping to lighten the mood. Though she was a bit sad today, that was okay.

Troutstep was glad she took his comment lightly. He thought for a second, wondering what they could do. "Well, most of the ice is melted..." He looked to the pond. "But I could show you some good ice fishing tips. I'm the best ice fisher in RiverClan." Troutstep said with a smile and a bit of pride. Ice fishing wasn't his invention, but not alot of cats used the skill before him. All he did was master the hunting techniques and bam! Fresh fish during Leafbare.

Heronwing blinked at his boastfulness, but acknowledged that everyone could take pride in themselves. She quickly jumped back to her regular self, and nodded. "Sure." She mewed quietly.