Unexpected

OOC: Part two, see part one here https://warriorclancats.forumotion.com/t20057-insufferable))

Unexpected. Specklefur's sudden attitude could only be described with that word, along with shocking, terrifying, confusing, and perhaps pleasant for those on the receiving end. Specklefur was terrified on how she viewed things differently, not to mention how things changed physically, Specklefur now would respond with pleasantry and make small chat without aggression but with a blank expression or one that looked lost as her legs shook.

Specklefur desperately tried to be herself but she found she didn't have the spirit too anymore, it was scaring her more than anything other than that one thing. Specklefur now, was limply lying on her rock, watching the passing cats as they looked at her with suspicion and disgust. Face loose as she pressed it to the rocks and her fur spread randomly against it like it was some weird summoning jibberish or what not.

Looking to the leaf-fall sun with a small smile, a smile that felt very strange upon her features but a smile none-the less. Tail giving an odd flick or here and her paws giving an odd twitch there Specklefur for the first time in what was seasons of her life felt at peace, until a shadow stretched over her body, cooling her warming fur.

"May I help you?" The words held no malicious intent or meaning or anything negative, it was purely an innocent question. Damn it! Specklefur was going senile wasn't she?

Spottedstar peeked down at her rapidly aging apprentice. How was she herself not wearing down? Maybe different breed lifespans? She didn't think much sense as soon as went near her, a nice response was given. Even to herself a grumpy response was given, and no offense was taken in anyway. "Oh well I was just checking up on you." she stumbled on her words, unused to the peaceful encounter so far.

Specklefur would have hissed about how she didn't need to be checked up on as if she was a helpless kitten, would have, this Specklefur felt oddly pleased that someone cared. "Well, thank you for that Spottedstar." Was the response and Specklefur physically tensed at the words before exhaling. "I'm afraid I'm going senile Spottedstar." She sighed, smooshing her face into the rock as much as she really could that was physically possible.

Noticing the confusion in the she-cats face, she frowned. "I think all of us are." she huffed, slumping herself down onto her rump. The cold was staring to get to everyone, and the coming shortage of prey.

"You're still very strong for your age Spottedstar. I feel lame, I wish too work and be useful. To not fight or hunt is driving me crazy! I feel useless." She hissed, glaring down at her paws then examining her own frame which was quickly deteriorating her own muscle, leaving prominent ribs and other bones, though it was only temporary until she started gaining her fat too. Specklefur refused to eat more and more which she found was the only way she could support her clan.

"I think we are of different breeds Specklefur." Mine is of Firestar she looked at the skinny she-cat. She was losing weight, and maybe she was feeling the same as Bluepaw, useless. "And how about if I start hunting in your favor you start eating more? Take it as being treated as royalty."

"No.. it's leafbare, you are needed here more than ever." She meowed, eyes trailing after each member of the clan. "Spottedstar, I feel attacked. Not in the physical way but, emotional... I'm afraid that Fawnwillow is going to try to steal my kittens away from me, not just her but the other queens and she-cats. This isn't my forte but I've nothing to live for other than those to protect. I hope that when I finally go off to Starclan to wait for Foxfang and my kittens and apprentices that, they will be safe. I've entrusted Echostrike in my breakdown in a time of the moment decision to protect them and you. I hope that you know I care very deeply for you and every cat else." She quietly meowed, hardly moving as she continued to speak.

"I am not going anytime soon, but it's best that since I've lived this long that you should know that I am not a bad cat. It shatters me to see so little respect shown to me, a lot of things shatter me so. You remember Soulfang right? Well, once I am gone, I cannot protect any cat from him. It's my fault he's going to burden my family. Perhaps I will have one last battle." She spluttered, paws adjusting to rest in front of her face as she turned to look up to the stars. "I'm not one of dramatics, but I'd like to die knowing that I am respected and loved, just once. I'd like to know that my clan loves me, I hold them all dear too my heart, I want to know that my efforts to protect them and lifting their burdens aren't to be wasted. Spottedstar, when I go to Starclan I have no cat to wait for me. I want to go knowing I am loved." She repeated blearily, she knew that her son and daughter loved her, her mate and Spottedstar, perhaps even Echostrike.

"I'm not as strong as I appear, I travel and hold my head high with falsity. Fawnwillow asked how I cope, I answered that I did not cope, I worked but I told her to not follow my paws. She never thanked me. I am thanked and applauded with false feelings. I am not welcomed or truly ever appreciated. I feel as if I'm too shatter." She spluttered, her own eyes glazing as she picked her head up and looked down at her flexing paws, paws that struck and ripped fur, never healed or made amends. She was a misunderstood cat, no one eager to get past her hard and irritable shell to the heart that was smashed to pieces and each piece coated with a thick layer of ice.

Spottedstar turned her head, and stared the at the she-cat until she looked at her. "You are loved and respected. No matter what. No matter what you do you will hold the same place in my heart." she had to answer each doubt in the she-cat's mind. "As for Soulfang, if hes even still alive, i'll kill him myself if he comes near this clan or your kits. No cat will take your family away from you, no cat will disrupt you in your times of peace. I will make sure of it. Your tough attitude makes it hard for other cats to understand you, but I've been here with you all the way." she thought back to anyone waiting for her in Starclan. "And when you do pass, Dewstar, Swiftnose, and many others will be there for you. You will be welcomed and cherished with the life you had."

A small bundle of white fluff with brown on the top with dark brown/black stripes wobbled over. Her green eyes looked up at the elder with curiosity, the admiration. Tigerkit smiled, and she cuddled up next to the elder and looked up at her with big green eyes.

"Thank you Spottedstar, though it cannot settle me completely, Soulfang will not rest unless I myself have perished, not only here but in Starclan too. But I fear that he's very strong, I alone have had great troubles with fighting him. I cannot imagine any cat cherishing me, let alone welcoming me. I fear that Thunderclan has grown dense when it comes to welcoming cats of all differences in personalities and types." She sniffed sourly, peering down at the little kitten with open surprise.

Reeling back her head to look at Spottedstar and back, she really did not know how to react, she wanted to shove it away but she didn't dare be cruel to a kitten. She didn't want to show affection so she screwed up her face and muttered over to Spottedstar. "I've been fighting so hard to protect every cat and shoving every cat away doing so, I've nary the time to appreciate." She muttered, just letting the kitten do what it does, feeling a bit suffocated by the unusual amount of attention but strode through it.

Tigerkit purred and nuzzled the scarred pelt of Specklefur. She was really too young to know what the older cats were saying. All she knew was that this big she cat was nice, well maybe, she didn't know anything about this cat anyways.