It Should Have Been You.

It was dark in Mapleface’s head. She was walking in her flat, empty world again; the same dream she had received for countless of moons. She was running, and yowling. Hot breath billow against her back haunches, pushing her to keep running. A snarl, as well as a shriek from her behind her sounded and she spun around. It was still pitch black, but she still saw the fox and Thrushstripe. She was so far away, and the fox kept moving towards her brother. She crouched again. The she-cat went to leap, but before she could the fox was in front of her, less than a whisker-length away from her face even though it had been several tail-lengths away heartbeats ago. They stood there, nose to nose, both of their breaths rushed and angry.

“Okay, Mapleface… Just-Just hang in there. I’ll help you. I swear it…” The fox yowled. This surprised Mapleface. Confused, she took a step back. She stared at the creature, confused. “Mapleface! Mapleface, can you hear me?” the fox barked again. This was strange. So strange. She took another step back, brushing up against the rock. She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting this all to fade away.

And it did, for now, but it would come back again the next time she slept. With a sigh, Mapleface heaved her body up. Sure, she was young and beautiful like she was before the fox, but it wasn't the same. Every time she saw a pool of water she still could see her mangled face. She was so beautiful then. So... Promising.

As a kitten they made StarClan seem as the perfect heaven where nothing went wrong-- the StarClan cats worked hard to keep this image up so their living clanmates still had something to have faith in. Mapleface never bothered to put on a fake face, so she was not allowed to communicate in prophecies or dreams. She could, if she really wanted to, but it wasn't worth it. Cats were still separated by clans here, and many fights still broke out. Cats still died as the memories of them fled the mind of the living. Real, genuine emotions and pains of the pass still existed.

Mapleface ignored all of the cats in this 'hellish' heaven. The only thing keeping her around is the fact that no matter what way she tried to die, she would wake up in the same spot.

So she had given everything up. She had a small part of territory in the designated ShadowClan area. She had a tall tree with a large base and a small, reflective pool. She rarely left the area.

Mapleface spent her days staring into the water, desperately trying to get the blood out of her eyes that were once so green. A few cats would stop by every once in a while, but the trips were getting fewer and fewer.

As the tally of the number of moons passed grew, anger rose from the ground. It infused with her blood and created a layer on her muscles. She would spend weeks of earth days fuming in pure, uncensored anger at her brother, who essentially did this to her.

She could have been leader. With Thrushstar -- or he would have only been Thrushstripe -- she would have shone in the wake. She would have made all the same victories and she would be the one still living. She should be alive, not her brother. She deserved the power Thrushstripe had. Maplestar sounds better, anyway.

One day, the anger was just too much. With a final thought, she left the crowd of trees she hadn't escaped from in many gatherings. Her self-imposed prison was broken. She headed to where dreams could take place and sat, in the shadows, summoning with all her fire, her brother. The one that had killed her.

It was still hard on Thrushstar to sleep at night. Mistflower certainly knew that, but when he was actually able to sleep, sometimes it was filled with a dark numbness and other nights were terrible nightmares. Somehow, tonight was different. As the Shadowclan leader blinked his eyes open, he looked around at the unfamiliar but completely familiar surroundings. It wasn't a place he'd seen often, but he knew it well enough after getting a good look around. The question was, why was he in Starclan? Did they have something to tell him? Standing up and shaking out his pelt, he was a little concerned when he didn't see any cats at first, but when he finally turned around, he saw who was calling him here. Eyes widened, Thrushstar took a couple of steps backwards when he saw Mapleface. Not because of her appearance but simply because she was there. In all of his dreams, he'd never seen her. Even when he had lost his first two lives, she wasn't there. Gingerheart was, Mottlepaw was, but Mapleface was nowhere to be seen. Now here she was right in front of him, but what concerned him was the expression on her face. It wasn't one he'd seen before and certainly not one he remembered. 

Giving her a worried quizzical look, he took a step forward to try to get a better look at her as his tail swung from side to side behind him. "M-Mapleface?" he asked, even though he knew exactly who she was. "You are here! What... What's going on? Is everything okay? Why am I here?" There were so many questions buzzing around in his brain, several of which he was sure weren't going to be answered, but it was worth a shot. Starclan was always so vague. Was he going to die? Was something terrible going to happen to Shadowclan? "How are you doing?"

Mapleface spat, her fire raging in her eyes and rising along fur of her fine. "Fine? Am I fine?" Mapleface asked, taking a step forward. Ears back, teeth barred, and claws extended, Mapleface looked like a cat that belonged in the Dark Forest. With every breath, a low, soft growl rumbled in her chest as it heaved from the weight of her pure rage.

"I'm fantastic, Thrushstar. I mean, my face isn't ripped up anymore!" Mapleface sarcastically sneered, standing straight and forcing her body to relax. "And wow," Mapleface continued, starting to stroll around her living brother in a large circle. "Everything is great here in StarClan. Lots of supporting friends, all the prey you could wish for, and I've also found love!" A loud, shrieking laugh pierced the otherwise silent air. "I mean, it couldn't be better!" With a roll of her eyes, Mapleface sat, paws neatly folded in front of the haunted leader.

Honestly, the leader didn't really know what to say. It was obvious that Mapleface was in fact not okay, but he didn't know how to respond to it. Wasn't Starclan supposed to be great? A better place to be? Why was this happening? She looked so.. dangerous and angry-- an anger he'd never seen before. Stepping back again, his tail dropped into the dirt and his ears drooped. "Mapleface, I... I'm sorry. What can I do? There's got to be something... We can figure this out..." he muttered, his brain suddenly going into logic mode. "But... it's so good to see you again."

Mapleface was slightly surprised at how submissive her brother was, however not a fleck of this emotion was seen on her face. Her mind ticked at high speed. She did not expect for him to ask what he could do to help her. (No idea why, that's a lot like him.) Within a few of the living cats heartbeats, Mapleface had thought of the perfect solution.

"I," Mapleface said slowly, having second doubts. "Want to be leader. I want to run ShadowClan, through you." She laughed a little, excitement building in her stomach. "I'm there, right?" Mapleface stood, pacing in her rejuvenated energy. "And I tell you what to say, what to do. And then you say it. And you do it." She paused and turned her head with a huge grin on her lips. "Deal?"

That just left him more confused. Why did she want to run Shadowclan? Was there something she knew that he didn't? To even show his confusion, his head tilted to the side. "Why?" he asked out of complete curiosity. "Is Starclan not what you wanted? What's going on, Mapleface?" he said, suddenly getting a little more suspicious of... well, he didn't know what. It just didn't make sense in his mind.

"Because you killed me!" Mapleface snapped with a hiss, her claws digging into the fake soil. "I would have been leader if you were the one killed. StarClan is eternal hell, knowing you are down there, leading my clan." Her fur rose again, and her eyes glared. "if you think it no longer matters what clan you're in up here, you're wrong. It's boring. It sucks. Cats still die." A long breath escaped in a low growl. "But no matter. Things will be better as I run ShadowClan through you, right? I mean," her lips curled in a snarl. "Who wouldn't want the guidance from a StarClan warrior?"

It was funny hearing her say that. Firstly, it felt like he had just been struck through the heart. He had killed her? He really couldn't figure out why that sounded so wrong. Sure, he had blamed himself for her death all of this time. Thrushstar always thought that there was something else he could have done to make her happier or to help her get back to her normal life. He should have watched her more closely or had someone taking care of her when he couldn't. He always thought that he didn't do enough and that she had taken off that night because he couldn't be there... But now everything seemed to fall into place. It was funny, though. Everything else she had said was somehow blocked out of his mind as his mind honed in on the first three words.

"You killed me!" It rang through his mind over and over as his mind went into deep thinking. He didn't kill her. He didn't play any part in it. She chose to run off in the rain. She chose her fate. It was funny how that worked out as well as how Thrushstar's anxious excitement to see his sister turned into a defensive fury. "Wait, you blame me for your death? You think that I did this to you? Sentenced you to a permanent fate that I didn't even want you to have?" He paused a moment, collecting his thoughts again and trying to word his argument right. "I did everything for you. After the fox attack, I helped you in every way I could! I gave you food; I gave you water. I tried to help you get back to normal but you... you chose to run off! To run away from Gingerheart and me! We could have helped you..." He wanted to say more, but for some reason he stopped. Suddenly all of his anger was forming back into depression. Immediately all of those terrible feelings he'd been burying deep inside of himself for so many moons were rising up and he couldn't stop it. It was like an overload of emotion that got stuck in his throat and left his body shaking as he stared at Mapleface with such an intensity he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Mapleface was honestly shocked by the outrage her brother displayed. It wasn't going how she had rapidly mapped out in her head. But then, it hit her; she let it show on her body too. Slumping her shoulders as she sat hunched, her back displayed toward her brother, she quivered her whiskers. Anger wouldn't work, huh? Well, Thrushstar new how empathetic he was. This would have to work.

"I-I'm sorry Thrushstar..." she said softly, her voice cracking slightly. Dang. She was a good actress. "It, it's just so hard. StarClan isn't what they made it to be and..." she paused, taking a deep breath. "I can't get rid of that fox, and that day..." Mapleface let out a sob. "I have nightmares every night. I see my torn up, bloody face whenever I look in the water!" She wailed, letting out a long, mournful caterwaul.

Suddenly, the Shadowclan leader's body relaxed as all of his emotion finally poured out of him. There was not much left anymore. It actually felt pretty good for once, but suddenly he felt terrible for how he seemed to make Mapleface feel. Watching her break down was heart-breaking. He didn't realize how much stress she was dealing with even after death. What was going on with this place? Maybe this was some crazy dream that his brain was making up. Did he manage to get into some catnip without realizing? "I..." he paused, trying to think over his words. "I'm sorry, Mapleface. I wish I could say I know how you feel, but... I can empathize with the nightmares. Every night since your death, I've blamed myself. Wishing that I could have done something to keep you from slipping from that rock in Skyclan territory. I'm so sorry..."

"It's my fault!" Mapleface cried, glad that her sadness hit the right spot. "I was so foolish, and I ran! I should have known I'd slip, Thrushstar, I should have known!" Mapleface let out another while, flinging herself down to the ground in grief, covering her green eyes in distraught. She hoped this wasn't over the top. It would have to work.

This was another reason he didn't usually show too much emotion. It was always awkward to deal with. He had no idea how to deal with Mapleface right now and how distraught she seemed to be. He didn't know how to calm someone down and tell them it was going to be okay. He didn't know how to make others happy. He still had no idea how he managed to score Mistflower. That was something that happened by the miracles of Starclan. Sitting down and sliding his paws together while his tail swished around awkwardly behind him, he looked at the ground trying to figure out what to do. That was when his thoughts trailed back to the rest of what Mapleface said before he seemed to explode. Running the clan through him? Was that even possible? "It... It's okay, Mapleface. But... How would you manage to visit me so often? I know that I'm a leader so I have a closer connection, but isn't that difficult? That would take too much of a toll on you, I would think..." he said uncertainly.

Mapleface laughed, managing to laugh a distraught-sarcastic laugh. "That's what they say. It'll be no issue at all. I'll come back here at night." she said with a small grin -- hopeful. The hope wasn't a lie. "Literally everything StarClan has told you is a lie. Everything. And besides, brother," Mapleface said, starting to get perky and a little excited -- true emotion with no need to be faked. "ShadowClan will have an extra insight. I could get information from other StarClan cats. I can spy. Anything we would need to protect ShadowClan."

"I do want to protect Shadowclan..." he muttered, once again going into deep thought. It would be pretty nice to have some kind of insight. However, he really didn't know how much he could trust Mapleface right now. After all of this time, if it was so easy to talk to him, why didn't she show up sooner? Maybe it couldn't hurt for a little while. Just try it out and see. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes before looking back up at the she-cat. "...Okay, but on one condition. I want to see how this goes for a short time. Kind of like... a trial period. If this goes well, it can continue, but if I see that Shadowclan is suffering, we cut the deal," he said sternly.

Mapleface was happier than she has been since the fox. With a happy squeal and jump. Mapleface lavished her brother's face with kisses. "Thank you thank you thank you!" she said with a happy squeal like a little kit. "ShadowClan will prosper, Thrushstar. I promise. I'll make it up to you for ignoring you." At this point, Mapleface would honestly promise her brother anything right now.