Coldstep's plot

nah it's okay x3

can the apprentice that cold tortures and abuses and stuff during training be raincloud's daughter (my next life)?

yeah but you'd have to die to have her become an apprentice and then some one else would steal deputyship so...how does that work ._.

hmm, good point. maybe my next life can be your second apprentice after you become deputy.

Mary Sues... Mary Sues everywhere e-e;;

What is this...?
I don't even...
:wthplz:

It's a very well thought-out plot, but that is an extremely dark, twisted cat. What causes him to be this way? And it can't just be that he's all, "Nobody likes me, I have no friends."

He's very ambitious and power hungry. He has a raw extent for power, and revenge out of his kit-hood. He's already part of the Dark Forest and threw Creamstripe in the elders' den. Really, when I made him, I expected him to be evil like scourge or tigerstar sort of, but a few of the members wanted to kill of their cats some time, and this was an easy wa x3 thusa plot sprouted/

I'm just saying, Cream is an experienced warrior, how could Cold beat her?
Not only that, but why would she be afraid of him? Really, all she'd have to do is tell Bramblestar.

Who would he believe; a trusted queen... or an obviously troubled tom who seems to hate the entire world?

Who would the entire clan believe?

Really, people. Dx You have think these things out.

Well, the only thing about that is that hunger for power doesn't exactly make a person/cat/animal/thing evil. It just possibly makes them more impulsive and less of a radical thinker, therefore possibly creating a small sense of evil, but not enough to randomly abuse and kill cats. Such as the example of Tigerstar (or -claw I guess in this sense). He wasn't exactly horrifyingly evil until the whole plot of taking over the clans. Originally he only wanted to be leader, and simply abused Ravenpaw due to the fact that the apprentice knew what Tigerclaw was planning. Tigerclaw didn't even touch Firepaw or Graypaw at that time.

Scourge being the other example. He was only evil because he was the same way as Tigerclaw/star. He wanted power and the only way he could do that was through the submission of the clans, therefore he attacked them. Yet when it came to his own group, he cared for them enough for his subjects to stay loyal; he didn't just kill them or hurt them because he felt like it.

One last thing on the whole kit-revenge thing. Cats don't exactly remember much of what happened to them as kits, even if the situation might have been quite traumatic. For example, Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt. They didn't remember anything about their father or what he did until later in the series when they were told that he was their father. Cloudtail is another example due to the fact that he was taken from his mother as a kit. He didn't know his mother was a kitty-pet until he was an apprentice and Fireheart took him to see Princess. So, kits don't exactly remember much o3o;

I apologize on breaking into your plans and plot like this for it was obviously very well thought-out, but it just doesn't make too much sense. I mean, maybe you could possibly tweak a few things about your plan to make him not-so dramatically evil cx I mean, the whole power-hungry thing does make sense, except for the whole killing-everyone thing~

My last post was rushed, so it didn't make much sense, sorry about that ^ ^;

It didn't explain much, but it's hard to explain why he's evil...and I don't want to break the plot now. He's allowed to be evil, I know that, and I need a specific reason, but what do you want me to do? I don't want to break up the entire plot now, just because I can't have an evil cat when many other people did >.> It's the same thing, he's just very intelligent, and in a simple way, he does one bad thing which leads to lying and multiple bad things. After that eventually he just turns to have a bad attitude and noticed how strong he is. He gets power hungry and realizes what he can do. The thing about being able to beat Cream has a totally different story. She wanted me to put her in the elders' den for her own plot purposes; so her next life can be an apprentice(I think that's the reason). So while Cream didn't expect anything, Cold basically ambushed her, causing her that shoulder wound so she couldn't fight back. And she still can't because of her shoulder, that's why she's afraid Cold is going to kill her if she tells.

Also in a rush right now *runs to bus stop*

Aye. That shoulder she had was already incredibly weak-- it never healed quite right, as it was wrenched in the battle with RiverClan. It also became infected; thus causing it not to heal right. So she was forever with a wrecked shoulder-- She wasn't going to be an excellent fighter anymore. And they were out hunting by themselves, so it was complete ambush. Plus, Coldpaw's heavy. :u

I love how they completely ignored the basis of our posts, Skia. D;

I know Ebs D: and Storm, you don't have to break the plot, just simply make some changes so that Cold isn't exactly some character that does things for absolutely no reason. Besides, if you are so focused on Cream, Cold wouldn't exactly be able to kill her for multiple reasons. One, because of he killed her, everyone would know that it was murderer and have every right to suspect Cold if he acts the way you say he does. Two, he wouldn't really have a time to kill her because apprentices and warriors are usually constantly checking in on elders, especially if they have injuries such as Cream's. Basically, the whole idea of the plot just doesn't make much sense...