| | Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ |  |
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+8Honey Badger Sleepy Splotch Hope Shadow not fish Jay Rainy 12 posters |
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Rainy
Characters : Heatherpaw
 
Number of posts : 5137
Age : 27
| | Subject: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 12:54 | |
| CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY
If there was anything you didn't like, if there is anything that needs to be fixed, if anything is amiss, if there is a loophole, if I didn't portray a character correctly, or anything else, LET ME KNOW!! I want to make this story as accurate as possible!
Thanks for reading, btw. X3 |
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Jay
 
Number of posts : 9353
Age : 26
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 13:35 | |
| It's awesome. XD Nice job so far. ______________________________________ i used to administrate but the man tore me down
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not fish
Clan/Rank : Professional zombie.
Number of posts : 6614
Gender : what is gender
Age : 26
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 14:13 | |
| I love it. Write some more soon. 8D ______________________________________ i was fish the whole time, surprise
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Shadow
Former Staff
Characters : Bramblekit
Clan/Rank : Windclan kit
 
Number of posts : 6644
Age : 29
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 15:05 | |
| umm.. what they said :D I can't wait to read what you come up with :3 |
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Rainy
Characters : Heatherpaw
Number of posts : 5137
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 16:00 | |
| Lol, that was just the prologue. XD
I'm hoping this turns out the way I want it to. |
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Hope
Number of posts : 1053
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 5:39 | |
| Review of Chapter 1...
Oh glob, Rain. You had to write that, didn't you? XD
I should probably mention that whenever I'm around a guy I like, I blush like crazy. DX ______________________________________ RIP Mitch Lucker of Suicide Silence
We will never forget you <3 |
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Splotch
Characters : Sleepycloud, Hopepaw, Lakepaw, Bear
Clan/Rank : Ye Old Member-- ALL THUNDERCLAN OOPS Sleepycloud (MCA), Hopepaw [App], Lake [App], Bear [Loner[
Number of posts : 3610
Gender : She/her
Age : 24
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 6:35 | |
| Review of Chapter 1.
Great!! I loved it! can't wait to read more!! ______________________________________  ✲Sleepycloud✲ || ✲Hopepaw✲ || ✲Lakekit✲ |
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Sleepy
Clan/Rank : RiverClan
Number of posts : 9741
Age : 25
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 11:25 | |
| I guess I'll review chapter by chapter too cx
Very good start. It's a little slow at first, but I feel like you potray everyone decently well (Even if that means that we seem a little cardboard from shyness cx). I'm sure that it'll pick up at a faster pace soon c: So keep on writing, I can't wait to see Chapter 2 :D ______________________________________ ‹‹ former site administrator ››
pm me |
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Rainy
Characters : Heatherpaw
Number of posts : 5137
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 12:01 | |
| I've been trying to work on my detail, but yes, it should pick up soon. c: |
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Honey Badger
Former Staff
Characters : Current: Acornstar, Badgermask, Creamsky, Duckfeather, Eveningmoon, Flurryshade- Old: Badgerfang, Silentherb, Stormstar, Stormeye, Twistedfoot, Badgerpaw, Nightcloud, Maplestar, Honeypaw, Bearmask, Ryefur, Owlheart, Morningpaw, Creamstorm, Smokeheart, Badgerpaw, Cinderpaw, Elmpaw, Stormpaw, Larksong, Amberpelt, Lionspark, Smokestripe, Mottleheart, Storm that Lights the Clouds, Leopardpaw, Honeytongue, Foxfire, Flintshard, Hayglow, Muddyleap, Theron
Clan/Rank : [A]ThunderClan T5 Leader [B] ShadowClan T5 Warrior [C] SkyClan T5 Warrior [D] RiverClan T1 Warrior [E] WindClan T2 Warrior [F] ThunderClan T1 Warrior
Number of posts : 7500
Gender : She/Them/He
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 12:23 | |
| Hey....I didn't see me. We need more Badger! Oh, and if I ever see Coon in there, I would most likely tell Muffin at her, as that is what I call her. =p Oh, and it was very good. Write more soon! ______________________________________  Acornstar ♀ ~ Badgermask ♀ ~ Creamsky ♂ ~ Duckfeather ⚧ ~ Eveningmoon ♀ ~ Flurryshade ♂ (Not pictured) TC T5 Leader (70/200) ~ SC T5 Warrior (70/200) ~ SkC T5 Warrior (70/200) ~ RC T2 Warrior (40/110) ~ WC T2 Warrior (40/110) ~ TC T1 Warrior (30/80)Rosybrown (Forest)/ Sandybrown (Feral) ~ Indigo ~ Tan ~ Olive ~ Icyblue ~ Slategray |
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Swifty
Clan/Rank : Windclan Leader~Shadowclan Apprentice~Windclan Warrior
Number of posts : 2370
Age : 26
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 16:36 | |
| It's awesome ^^
FOREVER ALONE :( sad i couldn't be in it X_X |
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Rainy
Characters : Heatherpaw
Number of posts : 5137
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Tue 31 Jan 2012 - 16:59 | |
| @Badger- Sorry, more people will show in the next chapter.
@Swufty- It was up for nearly a week. /: |
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Sleepy
Clan/Rank : RiverClan
Number of posts : 9741
Age : 25
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sun 5 Feb 2012 - 19:33 | |
| Chapter 2 reviasg;askjga;skgj.
I really dunno what to say about it x3 It felt a bit rushed, but other than that the small cliffhanger thing and the build up is making me want chapter 3 now >:c *Takes out whip* ______________________________________ ‹‹ former site administrator ››
pm me |
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May
Characters : Maypaw & Silvershade most notably
Clan/Rank : RiverClan vet
 
Number of posts : 2194
Age : 23
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sun 5 Feb 2012 - 19:35 | |
| I want it too D:<
Why'd we have to be last? D:
No phair. Alo, lulz, good job. I am afraid of the dark o3o <3 |
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Rainy
Characters : Heatherpaw
Number of posts : 5137
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Review of 24 Hours~~~~~ Sun 5 Feb 2012 - 19:42 | |
| It was sort of rushed... I've been trying to get it finished, but every time I went to work on it, I couldn't focus. -__- |
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