I Will Be Here, Don't You Cry [C]

thymelight

t3 medicine cat | skyclan | she/her

Thymelight had managed to convince herself that the past few mornings that she had spent in her nest overcome by intense nausea was just a quick cold that would pass. She had told herself that it was just a result of the stress that she put herself under and it was a sign that she needed to relax. Everything was calm in her head until she noticed one day that her belly had grown the slightest bit larger. It was still small enough to the point that she could hide it if she truly wanted to, but she knew the truth. That had only confirmed her fears: she was pregnant. But was it really a fear? Kits of her own… she was actually going to have her own kits. She was going to have more direct blood in a Clan that she had none in, and she was going to have her own family. Topics like love and kits had always interested her, and she knew that the only downside to being a medicine cat was that she was never allowed to take part in such things, but now she had the chance. It was a shame that the rest of the forest didn’t have the same thought process as her, though.

The tabby was a firm believer in true love, and the only part of the code that she actually disagreed with was the parts that discouraged medicine cats from taking a mate and other Clan cats from seeking love from the other Clans. If it were up to her, anyone could love whoever they wanted without any repercussions. The rest of the Clan wouldn’t share her happiness. They would look at her through narrowed eyes once the news finally dropped, and they would label her as a codebreaker.

Furthermore, the she-cat’s heart was still hurting despite her initial joy. SkyClan was scary, the forest as a whole was scary. Thymelight didn’t want to bring kits into a world where war was always a possibility, deadly predators roamed the land, and dangers seemed to be tucked away in every corner. Cats were always taken too soon. Rabbitpaw had been carried off by a hawk barely a few moons into her apprenticeship, and Thymelight had known her since she was a kit. That grief that she carried, along with the grief from the loss of Foxtrot, and the knowledge of just how horrific Clan life could be, the medicine cat realized that she didn’t actually want to have kits. They didn’t deserve to live like this. She would never truly be able to keep them safe.

When Falconmoon padded into the den, Thymelight was already awake. Her mind was too plagued to be able to sleep peacefully. She looked up to meet the tom’s eyes, but she wished that she was capable of looking happy to see him. She could already tell what this was about. It was too late for it to be about anything else but… the secret. Her yellow eyes were filled with uncertainty as she lifted herself from her nest and padded toward him. “Yes… I think I know what this is about. Let's speak outside. I don't want to accidentally wake anyone.” She told him quietly.

discord: chuufacts  | timezone: est | code (c) kieer

thymelight

t3 medicine cat | skyclan | she/her

The uncharacteristic frown that tainted Thymelight’s maw only seemed to grow as Falconmoon spoke. She held no anger toward him, but toward the situation as a whole. The Moonstone was a place that she had grown more and more afraid of overtime, and although she hadn’t quite received the answer she was looking for during her last solo visit, at least Bearflower and Graybird had considered her to be somewhat honorable.

The medicine cat was almost positive that whatever goodwill they had held toward her had been diminished. The large knot in her stomach tightened to the point that it made her feel sick. The thought of repenting to the stars made her feel even worse. Thymelight was tired of begging and pleading with StarClan, but the continuous hurdles just never seemed to have an ending… at least not a happy one. This time, however, she wasn’t the only one who would be speaking to the stars. Falconmoon had a stake in this too, and she couldn’t bear to see the ancestors hold any animosity toward him.

The tom was a source of comfort and stability for her. Thymelight couldn’t imagine seeing him any other way, but the expression that crossed his face as he warned her of a long story to come made her feel the slightest bit nervous. Still, the tabby wanted to listen. She wanted to be a pillar of consolation for him, just like he was for her. If repenting was something that they were set on doing, then she agreed. They needed to leave as soon as possible.

“We need to go now. Everyday I seem to grow weaker and weaker because of these kits. The strength I have to travel now may not be here at the next sunset.” The medicine cat tried not to sound too defeated as she spoke, but plenty of her exhaustion still managed to slip through.

“Oh, and, this story of yours… whatever it may be, please don’t be afraid to share it with me. Nothing you say could upset me.” She finished, nodding firmly.
Truthfully, the only reason why she couldn’t truly be upset by Falconmoon’s words was because she had already crossed the line between calm and upset ages ago simply due to the amount of pain that she felt.

discord: chuufacts  | timezone: est | code (c) kieer