frozen in the darkest moment [OPEN to shadowclan]

Leopardstar's illness had started earlier than most, and even when it spread across the Clans she'd brushed it off; it hadn't been too debilitating. And then it had gotten worse and worse, and nothing she tried seemed to fix it. She could count on her own four paws the warrior-aged cats that seemed to be doing well. She was grateful that Sablestrike was among them: despite the doubts she'd once had, he had proven reliable; and as she struggled through each day she'd found herself leaning on him more and more.

Still, neither of them could be in every place at once, and some things were better suited to one or the other.

There was no cure for this illness, or at least none that they knew. Her only consolation, bitter as it was, was that it wasn't only ShadowClan that was suffering: had that been the case, she would have felt solidly convinced that StarClan had a personal grudge against the marsh-dwellers.

In the forest, before the frost, she had slept outside for some time: avoiding the leader's den because she didn't want to live separately from her Clanmates, and avoiding the warrior's den to allow Echomist his space. Snowfoot had invited her to share the elder's den, and when the weather started to grow colder she had accepted.

And then Snowfoot fell ill, and the rats attacked, and she had died.

And Leopardstar had returned to sleeping outside.

She hadn't done that since they left the forest; instead remaining close to the rest of her Clanmates for warmth, and joining them in the makeshift dens they'd constructed in their temporary home.

But now, returned from a lackluster attempt at hunting, she found she didn't have the energy left to stumble toward a warm nest. She hardly had the energy to finish the coughing fit that had started as she arrived.

Instead, she curled up in the snow, feeling a curious heat despite the chill. Not warm, but burning; not chasing away the cold, but exacerbating it.

Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to move, even as she felt her conscious awareness slipping away.

And under the gaze of the distant stars, her dark-spotted fur dusted by the seemingly endless snowfall, her peacefully resting form fell lifeless for the first time.

”Leo.”

When Leopardstar’s eyes opened again, there was a different kind of warmth around her than the false heat that had lulled her into sleep. A familiar, broad, and dark brown form is curled up against her side, loud, rumbling purrs a comforting sound as Honeylight groomed his best friend; as if they were still apprentices sharing tongues in camp, as if Honeylight’s pelt wasn’t shining with stars and Leopardstar’s shoulders weren’t bowing under the weight of responsibility.

The two were curled up in a field of stars, surrounded on all sides by the same shining lights that shimmered in Honeylight’s fur, far from the cold, snowy ground that Leopardstar had collapsed in. When Leopardstar met honey gold eyes, her best friend offered her a smile that was as sad as it was sweet. “What’d I tell you, Leo?” He asked her softly. His tone was scolding, but he sounded more worried than anything else. “You lost a life.”

“You can’t keep going at this all on your own. Especially not at a time like this.” Honeylight pressed his face into Leopardstar’s side, providing her a place to rest as she floated between life and death. “I know things are more than hard right now. I can't promise you it'll get any easier any time soon. But you’re only hurting yourself, and your clanmates, if you refuse to ask for help. You've gotta take care of yourself. I hate seeing you burn yourself out like this, Leo.”

Honeylight lifts his head to look at Leopardstar directly again. “Please remember what I told you. Please give yourself a little more love; if not for yourself, then for those who love you. I know you’re doing everything you can. I’m still watching over you; we all are. You’re not alone in this, no matter how lonely it may feel. I promise.”

Honeylight gave Leopardstar a final, affectionate lick between her ears. “Come on,” He said softly. “I know you’re tired. I wish we could rest here together a lot longer. But you’ve still got a lot of life left, Leo. You gotta get up again. You’ve got to keep going. Remember it’s never too late to try again. And please, look out for yourself. The way I wanna look out for you; the way you used to look out for me, and the way you still look out for them.”

Even as the field of stars faded away as Leopardstar returned to her body, Honeylight stayed pressed close until he too faded from view.