watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o]

Subject: watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] Sun 23 Jul 2023 - 9:12

Leopardsun wasn't sure when the last time she'd actually properly slept was. She hadn't been sleeping in the warrior's den, and she hadn't bothered moving into the leader's den, and what little naps she had taken were in the same space she'd claimed for herself the first time when the camp was destroyed after the flood so many moons ago. She didn't want to be so isolated, in the leader's den and apart from everything, but couldn't face the rest of the warriors or the mate she still hadn't spoken to when she didn't deserve to count herself among them.

So, she slept outside the dens in short bursts; bathed in sunlight through the day where most were sleeping soundly, and showered in summer rain whenever the clouds grew dark.

It was hard to justify taking any time for herself, however small; sometimes she almost swore she could hear Honeylight's voice, telling her she needed to rest, but she had work to do and trust to rebuild and she had no idea what she was doing or where she should start.

Now, with the sun high in the sky and most of ShadowClan sound asleep, she curled up in her corner for a moment.

How many moons of this was she sentenced to?

It was her own fault, her own mistake, she knew that she could never truly make up for any of what she had done. That even the sins that weren't her own would fall on her shoulders now. She had chosen that, because she hadn't had a choice; what was she to do-- vanish in the night, turning on the oath she had taken at her warrior ceremony, and seek refuge in some faraway place she could never call home?

But this place wasn't home either, now. Not when no one wanted her there.

She offered her endless dedication, and apologies that had started sounding hollow to her ears after hearing her own voice repeat the words over and over, and she knew on some level that she was working herself to death but couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

Soon she would go and speak with StarClan, and that wouldn't be a problem in the first place.

Nine lives, each to live and die in service of ShadowClan.

tag your name on the side of a burning bridge —— info.

✿ kiikko

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[Only mods are allowed to see this link]
[character pages]
Leopardstar ~ Nightdancer ~ Lightningbreeze ~ Mistflower ~ Scarletflare ~ Mint
ShadowClan ~ ThunderClan ~ SkyClan ~ SkyClan ~ RiverClan ~ Guardian of Twilight
Leader ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Rogue
Tier 5 ~ Tier 5 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 1 ~ Tier 1

Subject: Re: watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] Mon 24 Jul 2023 - 16:13

Snowfoot would’ve had to be blind not to see her niece deteriorating. She hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t so much as taken a moment to breathe in days. Someone needed to reassure her, and it sure as the Dark Forest wouldn’t be the majority of the clan. Sitting down by the soon-to-be-leader, Snowfoot tried to find words. “I know how you feel, Leopardsun,” she started. “You don’t want this. You don’t feel ready. The world’s dropped out from under your paws, you’ve lost loved ones, and you’re sure it’s your fault. I can’t say I’ve ever been forced to lead a clan, but I’ve felt the way you feel now. There was a time in my life when my apprentice and all my kits were either dead or missing, and I was sure it was my fault. I always thought, if only I let Vixenpaw grieve her own way instead of pushing her to talk to me, if only I’d held onto Lightpaw when the flood took her, if only… but it didn’t do anything. Still, it’s okay to feel like this. Just remember, life will get better. It might get worse first, I won’t lie, but it will get better. Now,” she added, pushing a mouse Leopardsun’s way. “you don’t want to starve before that can happen, do you? You deserve to eat, Leopardsun. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you, but if I can make sure you eat I’ll do that much. And if you have trouble sleeping, my den’s always open. I know it’s the elders’ den and all, but it’s just me in there for now and I won’t judge.” She leaned in to lick her niece behind the ears. “You are loved,” she purred. “Even if it’s just by me.”

Last edited by Icee on Wed 16 Aug 2023 - 18:02; edited 1 time in total

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magpiekit

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rank kit •gender tom •clan shadowclan
just you try and stop me

☽❂☾

The least expected element of this somewhat somber and melancholic day had to be the pitter-patter of large, clumsy paws.

One of the newest kits, Magpiekit, had found his way outside of the nursery and into the expanse of the camp clearing. Mother would definitely berate him when she found out about his little "adventures". At least to him, exploring the camp with no nagging siblings to bother him was definitely worth it.

As he pushed forward into what was a giant clearing to the little tom, he spotted two cats in the corner. Curiosity taking control, Magpiekit approached awkwardly. With feet too big for his little body, he always looked like something was stuck to his paws. He waddled over until just behind them. The raven-coloured tom opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the rather grim topic.

Not knowing how to react and hoping to escape silently, he tried stepping backward. Unfortunately for him, there was a pile of twigs and stones that seemed to magically appear out of nowhere. Of course, being the clumsiest cat in the entire forest, he tumbled. "AHHH!" he squeaked, somehow making as much noise as possible. There goes his whole plan of silently walking away.

As the dust settled, Magpiekit gave a small chuckle. "I-I totally love you too, Leopardsun," he chirped. "How could you not love your leader? Hahaha... ha..." He should have listened to his mom and stayed in the nursery.

CODING

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CURRENT ROSTER

watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] N05yAsy

magpiepaw ┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛ greenpaw

Subject: Re: watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] Mon 24 Jul 2023 - 18:25

Snowfoot's comfort was one of Leopardsun's most treasured memories; in the aftermath of the battle with the Dark Forest, after watching her parents' sacrifice, Snowfoot was the only one who hadn't offered her empty words that meant nothing at all. She was reminded of that now, as she offered the opposite; words she knew the new leader needed to hear.

"...Thank you, Snowfoot," she murmured, accepting the offered mouse and seriously considering the option of sleeping in the elders' den. "I... Really don't say that enough, do I? To anyone."

Thank you.

I love you.

She ought to use them more, when there were cats to say them to.

Hadn't that been her biggest regret, when Honeylight died?

Before she could elaborate, or share the troubles that plagued her and the reason she felt so out of place in her own home, another voice cut in; and the somber moment was interrupted by the arrival of a particularly clumsy kit.

How could you not love your leader?

She choked back a bitter laugh.

"Not all leaders are loved, Magpiekit," she said instead, shrugging it off. "Some of them make bad choices, and sometimes those choices hurt their Clan. But even if you already know, it's always nice to hear that someone loves you, isn't it?"

An oversimplification, but ShadowClan's current political situation wasn't a topic she particularly wanted to explain to any of the Clan's kits; least of all her own low standing.

Her smile was a little less forced when she focused on the kit, expression betraying honest curiosity.

"Now, what are you up to?"

tag your name on the side of a burning bridge —— info.

✿ kiikko

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[Only mods are allowed to see this link]
[character pages]
Leopardstar ~ Nightdancer ~ Lightningbreeze ~ Mistflower ~ Scarletflare ~ Mint
ShadowClan ~ ThunderClan ~ SkyClan ~ SkyClan ~ RiverClan ~ Guardian of Twilight
Leader ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Rogue
Tier 5 ~ Tier 5 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 1 ~ Tier 1

Last edited by Icee on Wed 16 Aug 2023 - 18:03; edited 1 time in total

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magpiekit

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rank kit •gender tom •clan shadowclan
just you try and stop me

☽❂☾

"Not all leaders are loved, Magpiekit." These words stuck in his head like sap on fur. He couldn't consider the idea of not respecting and loving your leader.

Bad choices. Part of him wondered. Recognizing that an action is bad meant you knew what was good. Why would a cat choose to make bad decisions if they knew it was bad? Especially a leader. Shouldn't they know more than any cat what was good and what was bad?

Magpiekit nodded along, letting out a little noise of agreement to her words of wisdom. However, he found himself swallowing a lump in his throat just moments later. "Now, what are you up to?" Mousedung. He was hoping to get away unscathed.

"Oh, you know..." he mumbled, pawing at the ground while he thought of a decent excuse.

"Clearly I'm here to make sure the fresh-kill pile is still there!" he spoke. "I'm just being a good warrior. Right. Gotta keep that fresh-kill safe. Mhm." The kit was trying his best to be a convincing liar.

CODING

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CURRENT ROSTER

magpiepaw ┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛ greenpaw

Subject: Re: watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] Sun 30 Jul 2023 - 17:19

Snowfoot chuckled, offering Leopardsun a classic Look, the kind that from one queen to another always meant a kit needed attention. Time to go into “mom mode.”

“Good work, young warrior, but I think the fresh-kill pile has enough guards. I have an idea, why don’t you go guard outside the nursery? ShadowClan’s kits and queens are very important, surely you could stand guard and keep them safe?” she purred.

Subject: Re: watch it fade when the smoke rolls in [o] Mon 31 Jul 2023 - 13:21

"Snowfoot is right," Leopardsun nodded, following her aunt's lead with unexpected ease as she tried not to laugh at Magpiekit scrambling to explain himself. She'd always loved kits, even when the thought of them caused a stinging feeling in her chest. "The fresh-kill pile is well-guarded, but the nursery could always use extra defense. Especially from a capable warrior."

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[Only mods are allowed to see this link]
[character pages]
Leopardstar ~ Nightdancer ~ Lightningbreeze ~ Mistflower ~ Scarletflare ~ Mint
ShadowClan ~ ThunderClan ~ SkyClan ~ SkyClan ~ RiverClan ~ Guardian of Twilight
Leader ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Rogue
Tier 5 ~ Tier 5 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 1 ~ Tier 1

Last edited by Icee on Wed 16 Aug 2023 - 18:04; edited 1 time in total

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magpiekit

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rank kit •gender tom •clan shadowclan
just you try and stop me

☽❂☾

He should have felt satisfied that his little fib seemed to work, but somehow the kit felt as if he was being made fun of. He puffed out his chest, showing off the clean white patch that had decided his name.

"O-Of course! Only the strongest warriors defend the nursery. Our kits and queens are the most vulnerable members of ShadowClan. You need a really strong warrior to guard them!" he meowed, trying to act tough. "Of course, you'd choose me to do that. Thank you Leopardsun."

With that he ran off, tripping over his own feet as he made his way back to his mother. Hopefully he wouldn't get a scolding this time.

CODING

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CURRENT ROSTER

magpiepaw ┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛ greenpaw

Number of posts : 2894 Gender : Unspecified

Swiftheart gave a friendly purr and wave to Leo. "Aww... I love you too" she purred with a smile.

And she did. Swiftheart loved pretty much everyone in her clan. She was happy as ever and was resilient in how she often got over bad times very quickly.

Her ear flicked a little at leo's comment about not all leaders being loved.
A clear between the lines comment aimed at her brother no doubt.
Swiftheart would be lying if she said that comment didn't bother her a little bit but did not make a deal out of it. Leo was right Night had made mistakes but Swift still loved her brother much. Night had messed up but got so much of a beating out of it in her opinion. She hadnt been to the July gathering so she didnt know everything that happened but from what she heard it was a mess.

Still night and swift had always been close and still were even now. She didn't appreciate the backhanded comment even if it was true that night had made mistakes... It wasnt true that no one loved night though, swift still did.

However, swift was also done with the clan getting hurt by being torn apart over such silly little things. She was not about to let a comment like that start anything. It was time to put aside anything like that and work as one again. She respected leo a great deal and wanted to help the new leader settle in.

"Is there any way I can help too leo?" she asked with a purr. She did want to help as much as she could. Snowfoot was right, they needed to take some weight off leos shoulders

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