Conscience [Whisperear]

(Title of topic referencing Conscience by Antonio Pinto one of the most lonely instrumentals I have ever heard I choose something instrumental since Speaking was never Bats thing still even without words, the song sounds so broken and alone )


Batsong left camp early one morning. It was a couple days past Scorchtalon's death. She had done everything she could to save him to the point of collapsing herself after the strenuous effort. Yet she failed all the same. She had stopped eating and didnt sleep more than maybe an hour per night. The wide open moor before her was empty and barren. She sat down at the top of one of the many rolling hilltops that windclan had. She closed her eyes, the image of Scorchtalon trying to crawl to her den and pleading for help as she tried everything in her power to save him flashed over and over in her mind. She remembered ever agonizing second of his breath getting fainter and fainter. She kept trying to think if she could have done something faster maybe he would still be alive.

She had failed him and her entire clan, he was right at the med den and he had died, if she couldnt save someone when they were right next to her... what good was she? Daisybreeze was a foxheart and cruel were her words... but maybe they were not so false. Who had she ever saved?

She thought about how she had spoiled Scorchtalons hidden relationship... she hated that she had to do that. Starclan had given her the dream revealing it and a warning and at the time it felt so urgent to have to be shared to the leadership... but she wondered now if she had kept quiet if her lifelong friend would still be alive, had she set him into the spiral that led to all this?

She couldnt hold back tears as they ran down her face dripping down onto her front paws. "Im so sorry scorch" she sobbed shakily.

"Im sorry I brought this upon you... Im sorry for everything she collapsed over to her side, everything hurt. She felt miserable, the worst she had ever felt the pain of losing her lifelong friend right before her eyes was joined with a mountain of guilt that Firstly she could not save him and secondly regret of betraying his secret.

Batsong thought she was alone, until she heard the soft sound of steps approaching.  She wiped her face off unsure who it was yet.  She had to try and look strong for her clan even if she felt so hollow and broken inside.  She had to help lead windclan, part of her duty was to not have her clan worried about not having a medicine cat who could do well right?? And duty after all was the most important thing, ... not like she had too much else at this point.

However, upon hearing who it was, the soft quiet whisper reassuring her. She felt like she didnt have to act as much. Whisperear was there for her all along and they had been friends since they were a kit, perhaps even more than just friends in that she always felt to look out for them since their parents died so young. She knew what that was like all too well losing her bio and adopted parents.

She openly welcomed the comfort that Whisper provided of not having to be all alone. The shy molly liked her alone time but Whisper was always welcome to join her. She weakly "hugged" back with her tail as well.

She sighed a little and gave a small smile to them appreciating that they had come to check on her. She stayed quiet for awhile just enjoying their company in a time when everything felt so low.

"When I was a kit. Scorchkit and I used to play together in the snow. We would pretend that piled up drifts of them were badgers or another clan invading and we would be the
heros and save windclan. Then he would be Scorchstar and I his loyal deputy." She looked down at her paws.

"That was always the plan anyways. Back when we were kits and so naïve and free.
As it turned out, I pursed being a medicine cat because the clan needed it at the time and no one else wanted the role.    She sighed closing her eyes for awhile thinking back to the youthful memories of all she had left of her good friend now.

"Can I tell you a secret? she asked quietly keeping her eyes still closed.  Of course she could, she trusted Whisperear with every fur on her pelt.

"I think if I never became a medicine cat... well there would have been a chance Scorch and I got together maybe as mates.  Maybe have had kits one day. she shrugged sadly.

"as it was... I became med cat and he ... he went with someone else, but I don't know if I ever truly stopped caring for him.

"Being a medic cat has been a wonderful blessing, I love my job and want to help everyone so much she explained quietly

"But some aspects of it are also a curse. No kits, and ... watching your clanmates die helplessly even after doing evertyhing you were supposed to do to try and save them

She sighed heavily "Whisper? there is something I must tell you.  So far only the small council knows of this in all of windclan.  It is about my most recent starclan dream. (September 2022 dream, we are running a bit behind of when we got our dreams assigned)

"I ... I think it has to do with the tunnels and ... she shook a little and leaned against them slightly.

"I d-dont wanna l-lose you... n-not you too.  I can't and I won't. she mewed on the verge of sobs, her speech lessons with Stumpytoad the elder had worked so well with her stutter, but with how emotional she was getting it was creeping back in.

She took a minute to breathe and try and calm down before continuing.

The dream said

"What lies beyond and below is unfamiliar, and dark, winding paths and dead ends could be friendly or foe. Take caution."

She looked to them worriedly. "w-w-whisper... I ... I know that the tunnels h-hav-ve always been alluring to you.  And I know how long you have wanted to go down there. But... I .. I can't p-p..p...protect you down there. she warned.

"At the end of the day... it is your decision, but I'm advising... no, bb-..b-begging you not to go. Iv'e already lost too many and I dont wanna lose you too. She sighed flicking her ears uneasily

"but you are a warrior now, not a kit nor apprentice and you are capable of making your own choices now. I will respect your choice no matter w-w-what and always be there for you. she promised.  It was true, all of it, she would do anything she could to protect them, but no medicine cat nor the power of the stars could protect the dare of the cave if it ever collapsed again like with Mallardduck.

Her throat felt all weird, she wasnt used to this much talking and the crying session right before for sure made it worse.

(OOC: lol this is the most green I have maybe ever seen in a bat post in long long time.... she really trusts whisper... gonna be tragic when they die too leaving her with truly no one left ... dont u dare xaan! )