The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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The stars glittered in the dark, cloudless sky, turning the black sheet into a sea of tiny points of light, haloing the thin claw moon. From where they looked down, the stars were cold and distant, silent in their endless watching. Adderpaw blinked up at them owlishly, dark gaze wide and staring. Maybe, he thought, quirking his head to the side, if I wait long enough, someone will talk to me.
So he waited.
And there was nothing.
Adderpaw sulked, his head hanging low. Despite the quiet, sleeping forms of his Clanmates gathered around him, he felt painfully alone. The comfort and wisdom he sought was buried away somewhere in the heavens, out of reach and lost to him. That brief flicker of warmth and comfort he'd felt at the Moonstone warmed him briefly, and if he closed his eyes, he could almost convince himself that Goldenpaw was enjoying the cool evening with him, pointing out the stars he thought were most important, or most interesting.
Tail lengths away, bodies shuffled and stirred, and Adderpaw glanced towards the cluster of warriors with a flick of his ear. He should have returned to the huddle of apprentices and joined them, force himself to sleep, but he knew laying down would bring him no closer to resting. Sighing, the small tom returned his attention to the silent sky.
Subject: Re: exit music [C] Wed 31 Aug 2022 - 18:49
Flutterpetal didn't like sleeping with the other warriors very much. He missed Hazelpaw. He missed Adderpaw most of all. He'd always slept by his brother, ever since they were born... but since he'd gotten his name first, they slept in different parts of camp now. Nothing, technically, was wrong with that. He just... missed his brother. Did his brother miss him too? Was he feeling the same absence? Or were his thoughts only of Goldenpaw?
After about an hour of tossing and turning, staring restlessly at the starry sky, Flutterpetal gave up. It seemed like he wouldn't find sleep tonight. Maybe he would trek out to the flower field... the weather was still fairly warm, despite the sun having gone down a few hours ago. There would still be enough light from the little claw of a moon that hung in the sky, wouldn't there? He had half decided on that course of action, stepping carefully across the bodies of his Clanmates, when he caught sight of a familiar form a few fox-lengths away, dark fur almost blending in to the nighttime horizon.
"Hey, Adderpaw," he said softly, approaching with silent pawsteps from behind. What luck that the tom who so occupied his thoughts would be having the same sleepless night that he was. How long had it been since they had talked like this, just the two of them? Aside from a quick few words exchanged here and there? How could he breach the subjects on his mind? The things he'd decided in his vigil... Goldenpaw's death... how much he had missed his brother now that they had been separated a short time? He found that none of them could quite get past his teeth. "Whatcha thinking about?"
The quiet pad of approaching pawsteps dragged Adderpaw's attention away from the sky, and he looked down to see the dark shape of his brother melting out of the darkness just as his familiar voice rose. The sight of Flutterpetal made the apprentice's weary gaze soften in an instant, but the warm look quickly turned into something more troubled. Guilt flushed through him immediately at the sight of his brother. Training to be warriors had separated them somewhat, pulled from each other by more pressing obligations, but in the sea of his grief Adderpaw had hardly thought about his brother. The thought made him wince.
"Flutterpetal," he greeted softly as the other tom drew closer. What was he thinking about? Adderpaw just shook his head. So many things, none of which he could put words to. Not without his throat tightening around it, he feared. At least, if he had to sit here brooding, Flutterpetal would be beside him now. Distantly, he wondered if he deserved the comforting presence.
Turning away, Adderpaw nodded pointedly towards the starry sky. "Not much." His uncertain tone betrayed the lie immediately. He'd never been good at that- lying. He breathed hard through his nose, before whispering, "I'm thinking... that I'm lonely. I don't think I understand how to handle death yet." A sharp, breathy laugh came around the word death, thin and insincere. "But not so lonely now, I guess. I didn't know you were awake. I'm glad that you are."
Subject: Re: exit music [C] Sun 18 Sep 2022 - 21:31
Silently, Flutterpetal settled down next to his brother, soft black tail sweeping over his small paws. There was silence between them for a moment... but it was a more comfortable silence, compared to the unspoken tension that lay between his gaze and the stars at night. It felt right to be by his brother. A quiet evening breeze rustled their fur, bringing with it the gentle chill that insinuated leaf-fall wasn't far behind. It wasn't cold, but the light drop in temperature was pleasant compared to the day's warmth. Just like how the quiet beauty of night used to be a refuge for peace and thought... but now, with Goldenpaw's death... was it still? Could the sparkling pattern in the skies mean the same thing it once used to?
His attention immediately turned towards Adderpaw once the other tom spoke again. The strange, heady wavering to his voice clued Flutterpetal in to his real emotions immediately. It wasn't often that he'd heard such a thick coat of uncertainty to his best friend's words. No... he'd never heard this before. This was new territory. For both of them. Still, the plain honesty that Adderpaw danced around was dangerously close to the real tragedy that had lain between them emotionally, coincidentally soon before the barrier of warrior names separated them physically. Would life really tear them apart? I won't let that happen. Adderpaw's words hung in the air for a moment, before the breeze returned to sweep them softly away, off towards the unexplored depths behind Highstones. To StarClan, where-- maybe-- they could receive a real answer. What could Flutterpetal do in the face of such concerns? In the face of death itself? Well, the same thing that his brother was, using all his bravery. Be honest.
"Well... I don't really understand it either," Flutterpetal admitted. His voice was subdued, like the muted tones of green and brown that lay across the distant fields, illuminated by the faintest trace of moonlight. Yet, he stood close to his brother. They both lived. The warmth from his pelt, from the blood pumping through his veins, from the heartbeat ringing in his ears, was proof of that. Could Adderpaw feel that warmth? Could he feel every fiber of his brother's being, reaching out to him in an act of pure love and helplessness? The silence no longer seemed oppressive. It was quiet; welcoming; understanding. Some things could not truly be said. "It's okay to feel that way," he whispered finally, the simple words dropping from his mouth like a raindrop onto land scorched dry with greenleaf heat. His soft black tail brushed against his brother's back in an unconscious, comforting gesture. "I find myself wondering the same things. Is he really up there? Why did it have to be him? What if... I'm next?" For a moment, Flutterpetal glanced upwards, his green eyes scraping the stars. There was a rawness to their light that he couldn't quite stomach. Then, he lowered his head, turning to look at Adderpaw's uncomfortably averted gaze. "But, I've been thinking. And I figured... you know. Some things just... are. And I can't change that. I can't stop the sun from rising. I can't stop a flower from dying, let alone another cat. All I can do is live. And love." A quiet, uncertain smile touched the corners of his unusually solemn face. "And I love you, Adder. That's all I know."
After the ragged, insincere laugh that rose out of him in an attempt to chase away the true gravity of Adderpaw's words, a coldness had settled over him. It would've been easy just to blame it on the stirring breeze, on the nearing chill of leaf-fall. It was more than just the coldness that came with the night or with the changing seasons, though; it had settled under his fur, into his bones, against his heart. His chest felt tighter now that that chilly weight was there. The anxiety that had rippled through him since birth chose then to rear its head again, making him shudder against Flutterpetal. What had driven him to such nerves, except for two curt sentences? Yes, it was upsetting, naturally, but was it to the point that simply speaking of it drove him to shake? Adderpaw's whiskers twitched in frustrated consideration.
And then... there was silence. It wasn't a long one, by any means. It rarely was with his brother. But it was there-- for a not-insignificant moment, it was just the two of them, the whistling winds, and the uncaring stars overhead. Adderpaw wondered how he would have felt if Flutterpetal hadn't been awake, or if he'd chosen to turn away rather than daring to venture closer. Quietly, the apprentice was grateful he had such a good brother. He feared what thought-loop he would have stewed himself into had his brother not been there, silent and relentless torment over things he could have done nothing to prevent. At least now he wasn't bearing it alone. I hope I can be a good brother like that, too.
It was just then-- always, he had impeccable timing --that Flutterpetal lifted his voice to speak. Soft, barely above a whisper, but Adderpaw's ears immediately lifted to listen closely to everything he said. An admittance, and a soft tail brushed along his back, and-- and... Adderpaw made a rough noise as he pulled in a sharp breath. The chill that had ran through him was dashed away, at least in his face, as uncomfortable heat rose through his ears and clouded against his eyes. The string of questions, "What if... I'm next?", the somber smile Adderpaw was met with when he finally looked up. All those alone were nearly too much, but Flutterpetal's soft and I love you was the tipping point. He wasn't quite sure why, but before he could stop it, Adderpaw started to cry. His shoulders shook with the weight of his emotions, and tears spilled messily forth as he ducked to shove his head into Flutterpetal's own, steady shoulder. He tried to stop it, or at least collect himself some, but focusing on collecting himself only made the tears come swifter.
"Thank you," he murmured into his brother's fur, voice soft and made harsh by his sobs. "Thank you, Flutter. I'm- I'm sorry, and I love you too. I really am glad you're awake tonight." Adderpaw tried to force out another laugh, but it was thin and disappeared no sooner than the noise left him. Pressed into his brother's dark, soft fur, feeling only a little regretful that he'd soaked it, Adderpaw wondered if- well, if he was right. He wouldn't consider it too much tonight, not when his head already felt scrambled, but in the morning he would think about. Goldenpaw was gone, and that was a loss Adderpaw feared he would never recover from; but in his place stood all of WindClan, alive and breathing and well. His mentor, his friends-- his first and best friend in Flutterpetal. One breath cut short, and the world still turned. Adderpaw leaned harder into his brother, mumbling quiet apologies for the emotional show he'd suddenly put on and soft promises he would stop soon.
![exit music [C] 833dIG1](https://i.imgur.com/833dIG1.png)
