Self Debate

Swiftheart sat in the clearing of the camp. Her mind raced thinking. She thought back and forth about her options she had. On one side she wanted so desperately to tell Ratrunner her feelings she had for him... However on the other side she feared that he may not feel the same way she honestly was not able to tell.

She wanted so badly to get it off her chest. To tell him bluntly just like that how she felt and get it over with... But at the same time, what if he did not share this towards her? Was she willing to possibly risk their freindship and current relationship to take a chance on this?

Would he look at her the same afterwards if he did not have the same feelings? she hoped so... but what if he didnt... it would break her heart if he said no ... yet alone if he wanted to stop hanging out with her completly that would be terrible.

She would rather be his friend and not take the risk of being completly shut out ...


However... at the same time the fight with the foxes she feared so much that she would not make it out alive... if that had been the case she would feel so awful having never admitted her feelings to him...Could she live with knowing that? Knowing that right now they could be together longer if she would just act but was just too scared? Knowing that he might feel the same way but just was also too nervous to act on it... If that were true they could be together now...That thought made her want to tell him so badly... but self doubt crept in... you are not good enough for him the self doubt whispered inside her head.

She closed her eyes she wished she could just ask starclan for a yes or no on it... but that was not really possible.

“You ok?" Deerpaw had just finished a hunting patrol, in her jaws an adder and a vole hung limply. setting the prey down, the she-cat turned to her mentor, who seemed to be planning out how she was going to spent the rest of her life. maybe she was. maybe she wasn't. "What are you thinking?"

Swiftheart jumped slightly hearing her apprentice approach.

She smiled happily at Deerpaw. Wow! great catches! she points to the adder and vole that Deerpaw had caught. "You are becoming a really good hunter" she praised her apprentice proudly.

Hmm me? Yes I am okay, Just daydreaming a little... Probably overthinking things honestly she answered.

deerpaw nodded. although she didn't completely believe Swiftheart, she could sense that no amount of prodding would get the she-cat to say what was on her mind. "In that case, I guess I should be going. "Sootpaw wanted to share a meal with me," she added as that thought came to mind. "I wonder if he wants to tell me something?" she wondered aloud.

OOC: oblivious, innocent deerpaw and poor sootpaw XD

Swiftheart felt a little bad, Deerpaw was really nice to check on her and she felt like she should probably tell her... Deerpaw and her got along great so she didnt feel like keeping secrets.

She walked over to her apprentice. I really appreciate you checking on me... that was nice of you

She glanced around quickly to make sure no one else was within earshot.
She leaned over and whispered I just really like Ratrunner she winked
You can keep a secret right? she added on jokingly.

Deerpaw almost choked at her mentor's words. "Keep it secret? I have for almost a moon! No cat would be stupid enough to think you see him as a just a friend, the way you ogle at him from across camp! Don't worry, if he still hasn't noticed I won't tell." she laughed, before bounding away to drop her fresh-kill.

she giggled. Had she really made it that obvious? Probably so... oh well. Come on wanna see if Nightstalker and Sootpaw want to go train together with us?

of course! she cried, thrilled by the idea of seeing the charcoal grey tom again.