Ooc: set immediately after Sparrow’s death
A gentle rain pattered down on the leaves. The forest was quiet, the sound of the drizzle gently covering the woodland noises. Behind a curtain of thick grey clouds the sun was beginning to rise. In the forest, however, the light was thick and grey, although not quite dark.
Dawnfeather was breaking the rules. She knew it. She wasn’t supposed to be out alone, wasn’t supposed to leave Muddy and Prima once they’d finally fallen asleep, wasn’t supposed to clear the half-finished wall in a single bound, wasn’t supposed to be huddled in a hollow in an old oak, pushing her face into her tail fur, her sobs having died down to quiet sniffles.
Da wasn’t supposed to have died.
She’d been grooming her fur when Prima and Muddy had brought him back into camp- no, not him. He was gone. Gone.
More tears began to push their way out of tightly closed eyes, more strangled sobs began to escape her maw. She squeezed herself into a tighter ball, shoved her face into her tail fur harder.
She’d left Prima and Muddy once they’d finally succumbed to slumber, whispering soft words of comfort in their ears. She wasn’t herself, then- she wasn’t the one shedding no tears, a comforting presence… she wasn’t that strong.
Once night fell she’d leapt over the wall in a single bound and raced through the treetops precariously, throwing herself through the branches. Only the memories of countless dawns spent retracing this route kept her paws on the branches, her leaps accurate despite the shadows.
This was her oak. She’d shared it with Beetle, but no one else. She knew the way up its limbs better than she knew herself. She knew this hollow better than she knew herself. She’d spent so many, so many sunrises up here… nearly every one. She was beginning to wear a groove into the hollow, the way she sat and the way she laid, her paws tucked neatly beneath her.
And yet, something so permanent and staying as this could be gone in a moment.
Da was gone.
She couldn’t comprehend it. He’d been there her whole life. She hadn’t been as close with him as she had with Prima… she wished she had. He’d always been a strong, comforting presence… she loved him.
And now he was gone.
No. No. She- she didn’t want him to go. She wanted him to stay. Why- why couldn’t he stay?
She knew.
StarClan needed him. For what purpose, she did not know. But- that didn’t make it hurt any less. What had Prima said? “…The more you love, the more you have to lose. But I never learn my lesson…”
Dawnfeather wasn’t going to learn her lesson, either.
The tears, already mostly dried up, stopped coming. She slowly pushed herself up, fur dirty and damp, and gazed out at the rain. She… could almost see him. Silhouetted in the drizzle. She blinked… unfocused her eyes… there he was. She could feel it. He wasn’t going to leave her… she’d been silly to suppose it. StarClan needed him, yes, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to watch over his family.
A small smile blossomed on the young warrior’s face as the rain began to slacken, the sun show his face… and there, in the sky, a perfect rainbow glistened. Dawnfeather leapt out onto the nearest limb, her smile growing as she traced her way higher and higher, into the very highest branches. Clinging onto branches barely bigger than twigs, she gazed long and hard at the shimmering rainbow. She never doubted that it was StarClan’s way of reassuring her.
Taking a deep breath and freezing the memory in her mind forever, she turned, making her way through the trees, back to camp, where she could leap over the wall and be next to Prima and Muddy when they awakened.
She’d lose more. She knew it. There was no doubt. But the ones she’d lost would always be with her. Even when she couldn’t see them… but she’d be sure to find them in every cloud, every flower, every stray gust of wind. They were watching from StarClan, cheering her on.
She’d never be alone again.
