Balancing Acts [Open!]

Nettlestar sat, uneasily taking in a moment of free time.

It was a delicate balance she and many of her clanmates had to keep. If they all got too used to this, too complacent, too willing to hide their dissatisfaction, they might slowly lose the desire to be rid of the Asylum. But if they were too vocal, too resistant, too aggressive, they might cost lives. Especially her, being the leader, being the one whose actions were the most visible, most impactful. It was an unhappy balancing act.

She also knew she would need to now, more than ever, check in on how her clanmates were doing. She needed to know-- were they all still dissatisfied with this, did they all still want things to go back to the way they were? Or were they slowly getting more and more used to this? If they were she would have to find some way to remind them that this was not normal, this was not how things should be-- this was a lesser life than they deserved. And the kits who were young enough to only barely remember a time before, or who didn’t know it at all-- she had to find some way to teach them that this was not what their lives were meant to be. Because if she let a sense of complacency grow...if she allowed her clan to accept that this just was what it was...would it die? Would ThunderClan as she had known it die? She did not want that, of all things, to be the legacy she left behind-- to be the cat who let her clan fade away, who let all the things her ancestors had built turn slowly into dust.

Quietly, worriedly, she waited to see if one of her clanmates would join her in her moment of spare time, for once actually actively hoping to talk casually, to see if she could measure their mood and feelings about all this. And if one of the Asylum cats dared try to speak to her-- well, she would engage them, why not? But it would be with much more choice words.

Shrikesong was padding around ThunderClan camp, watching as Asylum slowly began to assimilate the five clans. Really, Asylum was always trying to absorb the clans into their own group. Slowly but surely, the wills of many of the cats around her began to fade as they hid their feelings about Asylum. Shrikesong was sure that the other ThunderClan cats around her were thinking the same about her. But the brown she-cat knew herself that her hatred to the Asylum was blazing as hot as ever. They took Laurelkit, I'm sure of it. And they probably did something to Harefoot to officially kill him. The ideas her head spewed out were more emotion than anything, but it didn't mean that they weren't true.

She did notice ThunderClan's leader, Nettlestar, near the leader's den. It would probably be good to talk with Nettlestar about this before doing something drastic. Walking over to the ThunderClan leader, she faked a grin. After practicing her facial expressions, she knew how to fake being excited. "Hey, Nettlestar," she said, adding bubbliness to her voice to make Asylum cats look away. "Can... I talk to you for a little while? I have something to share." Sitting down in front of Nettlestar, she wiped her grin off of her face to make it clear that she was serious. The she-cat didn't expect Nettlestar to decline her invitation, but it was a good idea to check with her leader.

Dovefrost sat silently on the edge of the camp. The white fluffy tom's tail was flicking against the ground beside him as green eyes took in the area around him. Noting the differences between the clan cats and the Asylum cats. Things were different.. that was for sure. He barely remembered the time before the Asylum cats, for they showed up shortly into the start of his apprenticeship. Part of it seemed normal, but also in him, he knew part of it was wrong.

Green eyes watched as Shrikesong walked across the camp to Nettlestar. The white warrior was a little surprised to see the happy excited expression, but the more he watched he saw the expression disappear as soon as the Asylum cats looked away. Curious, the young warrior made his way over to the two cats. He dipped his head in greeting. "Greetings Nettlestar, Shrikesong."

Nettlestar watched as Shrikesong approached, the smile across her face quickly dropping as she got closer. She registered the fact that Shrikesong was likely trying to avoid Asylum attention. The gray she-cat's green eyes flicked back and forth, eyeing the Asylum cats who were always present in the periphery, before focusing her gaze back on the warrior in front of her.

"Of course," she replied, "What is it?"

She turned her head slightly as Dovefrost, one of the clan's newest warriors, joined them as well, nodding to him in acknowledgement and saying "Hello, Dovefrost,". Did the two of them have something they wanted to share together, or did the second warrior just happen to join them at the exact moment? Either way, she was both curious, hopeful, and concerned about whatever it was Shrikesong wanted to share with her.

Turning to Dovefrost, Shrikesong dipped her head to say hello to the tom. It was interesting to see if Dovefrost had to say something himself, or if he just wanted to listen to them talk. Shrikesong was fine with either, since the brown she-cat thought that the tom could be trusted with her secrets. After all, he didn’t seem like a tom who seemed to be on Asylum’s side. Even though I’m going to pretend to be on their side, I will betray them as soon as I know that they are weak enough to take down properly.

The brown she-cat stared at Nettlestar, her amber eyes staring to the leader’s green eyes. Well, it’s time to tell her. “I just want to let you know... that I will be pretending to be on Asylum’s side for the time being, until I can find a proper time to take them down. It might take moons, but I won’t give up. Ever.” The brown she-cat smiled confidently at Nettlestar, the first time she had truly smiled since before the Asylum. ”And no matter what, you will always be my leader. Not the Asylum. Nothing will ever change that.” The brown she-cat was careful not to speak those words loudly, so she didn’t anger the Asylum, so she made sure that only Dovefrost and Nettlestar had a shot at hearing her.

”I’m going to make sure they think nothing of this,” Shrikesong whispered, immediately putting her energetic face back on. ”Here’s the thing,” she said, seemingly bubbling with energy once again. ”I wanted to share the oak bark I found! It looks a little like an Asylum cat wearing its pelt. Don’t you think?” Really, if the she-cat squinted her eyes, the piece of oak bark did look like a pelted Asylum cat, but this piece was really to make sure that nobody thought it was suspicious that she walked up to a cat to ask a question and didn’t ask something audible. If Dovefrost wanted to speak, she would let him, though in a way that fit with her bubbly mask.

Pretend huh? He was a little concerned once he had initially seen some of her interactions with some of the rogues especially the less friendly ones, but now hearing this? It made some sense. He couldn't blame her for her course of action. "I assume you are being careful with this." He wasn't going to judge her for her choices or her actions. His voice remaining void of much emotion, as he spoke quietly.

Green eyes watched as she quickly shifted away from being the cat full of hatred to one full of energy showing something about bark. His eyes looked down at the piece, his head tilting somewhat as he studied it, remaining as impassive as possible. "I guess it does appear that way."

The large tom turned his gaze away from the bark on the ground up to his leader. "How are you feeling?" He asked, he wasn't much for talk on emotions, but he still wanted to know. He knew where his loyalties lie, and it was with her. She was already doing a lot for the clan so he wanted to make sure things were going well for her too. "Especially with all of this?"