Definitely not the seeds of a relationship (CLOSED)

Spark took the time to return to Asylum camp, his mind thinking of ShadowClan and their conversion. He didn't like ShadowClan's resistance, and he hoped that they would convert to Asylum quickly. They should be proud of being in Asylum, of our culture. And we're allowing them to bask in our greatness. Why can't they accept us? Perhaps it was just stubbornness to stick with their ideals, no matter how backwards they were. It would be better for all of us if you just moved on and accepted Asylum. Of course, the ginger tom was aware that it was a pipe dream, and that the integration of the clans wouldn't happen smoothly.

The scout scanned the rocky camp, gazing at the foliage that covered it. He felt it to be more reminiscent of home than the dens that he slept in outside of ShadowClan's camp. He noticed a cat, one that he recognized from his Scout training before the invasion, one who Spark couldn't forget about. Shira. He knew the Scout wasn't one keen on speaking, just like him. Perhaps they could bond on different stuff. The scout walked over to the she-cat. "Hello," he said, turning to the gray-and-black she-cat. "Is the occupation in SkyClan going well?" Spark wanted an update on the situation after he had last heard from an Asylum cat assigned to the clan (he had heard that it was very hectic back then), and he believed that Shira would be willing to give him that information.

Shira looked at the nice sunset in front of her. Beautiful layers of colors forming through the sky. Reds, yellows, purples and dark blue were filling the sky that evening. Shira was not the kind of cat that would just sit and watch the sunset normally, but she had a very long day. If she turned her head to the middle of the sky, stars began to shimmer. This was very peaceful. Way more peaceful than Skyclan was. Skyclan would have been named drama-clan if it was up to Shira. Every cat there seemed to be filled with stupid emotions that they did not care if they let the world see and it seemed that even before the Asylum came they all had their own problems. They seem to care so much about how the Asylum was destroying their lives, but weren't they aware that they were the one with the real problems here?

A voice broke through her thoughts. She hissed loudly at whatever creature dared to talk to her, before realizing it was Spark. Spark was not her favorite cat either, but at least he was better company than most of the other cats she knew who all just wanted to talk to her about mushy emotional stuff. He asked her a question. A bird and rabbit were at her feet from the hunting she just did and she really did not want to carry them anymore. She strongly pushed the bird towards him. "Eat," she said in a somewhat commanding tone, but honestly did not really care if he did or not. She ignored his question for the time. "I'm not hungry for both and I don't want to put it in the Skyclan kill pile so those ungrateful tree climbers to eat. And apparently birds are most everything they have to eat there. If I need to pluck one more feather I'm going to-" She cut herself off and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Skyclan has not excepted us yet and the one that has is the most annoying cat on the planet," she finally answered his question. But of course that cat has to be related to Dawnhawk, so I can't bite the tip of her tail off as a warning." She had been looking forward while she spoke, but finally turned her head towards Spark. "What about Shadowclan?"

Spark noticed Shira giving him a piece of prey. At Shira's commanding tone, he began nibbling on the sparrow. He didn't mind plucking off the feathers, for some reason. Birds were actually one of his favorite pieces of prey to eat. He didn't mind the feathers when nibbling on it, and they brought back good memories of eating sparrow in Asylum camp. Perhaps if SkyClan's occupation is going well, I could pay a visit. However, he'd have to ask Iniko if he could, and he already knew that the calico tom would say no. It seemed like SkyClan wasn't very compliant anyways. According to Shira, the clan wasn't responding well to the planned integration, which made sense due to the clans overall resisting the grasp of Asylum.

When Shira turned to Spark, the ginger tom immediately responded to the gray-and-black she-cat's question. "We have a ShadowClan ally in Tanglerose, I believe." He didn't know much of the she-cat, but if he recalled correctly she knew Iniko very well and was supportive of Asylum's goals. "But the rest of the clan is still not accepting Asylum integration." He was pretty sure that most of the cats there were not ready to integrate with Asylum, whether they were vocal about it or not. "They appointed a new deputy even though it means nothing once Asylum eventually takes control. Perhaps it would bring stability in the short-term, but the clan wouldn't even exist in the long-term, so it doesn't make sense for them to keep on clinging to traditions that will die out in a few moons. "It's annoying."

"I agree," Shira said. "Anything clan cats do has to be annoying." Shira tended to not agree with most anything cats say, but complaining about clan cats was something she could always agree with. "Has there been any particularly bad cats? If so please tell."

Spark blinked. "There was this medicine cat apprentice named Rookpaw who talked back at Tanglerose after she said that ShadowClan's deputy ceremony wouldn't matter." The ginger tom paused. "He's being trained by Iniko, but it's obvious that he doesn't follow the same ideals as him." Of course, Rookpaw wasn't the only cat who wasn't happy with Asylum's presence. There were numerous cats who were visibly upset with Tanglerose's statements, but the black tuxedo tom was the only one who was bold enough to say it to her face.

He looked up at the setting sun. It was truly beautiful, like something he'd never seen before. And the truth was that he saw the reflection on the dark gray she-cat... as beautiful. She looked gorgeous in the sunset, and Spark felt butterflies in his stomach for her. However, he kept his emotions hidden. He knew that him mentioning his attraction would be dumb, since Shira was just as stoic as he was. As my mask is, his mind corrected. Because of that, the Scout would never admit it to her face. He wasn't that foolish, after all. I'm not going to be a Rookpaw. Eventually, he sat down next to the gray-and-black she-cat, taking another bite of his sparrow.

Shira tore away a piece of the rabbit flesh as she listened to Spark speak.  "Rookpaw sounds annoying," She exclaimed with her mouth filled of rabbit flesh.  Shira looked at Spark's movements, as she quickly learned that how someone moved themselves told a lot about them.  If other's were able to read hers, they would have learned that she was scared.  That she put up this tough exterior to make other's not think she was weak and that once mask had actually became a part of her.  She learned how to read other's movements to make hers unreadable.  He peered at the sunset, then looked at her for a small second, but that second gave her everything she needed.  He was thinking deeply and by the way he looked at her it seemed to be about her.  Something he did not want to tell her.  She had a few guesses based on this.  Does he not like the sparrow I gave him and just doesn't want to tell me?  Is there something about Shadowclan that he was afraid would upset me?  Was it something else that I don't even know yet, but he is afraid that I wouldn't like it?  Or... or is it... no it couldn't be.

"What is it?"  She asked for once sounding more like she cared than just emotionless.  "What are you not telling me?" That sentence had a hint of anger in it like... maybe she was angry that he did not trust her.

Spark blinked. He didn't think that Shira would be able to notice something different. He had kept most of his emotions buried underneath of him, but it seemed like she was able to tell that he was hiding something. Maybe because she understands. Perhaps her stoicism was just a way to hide her emotions, just like him. It felt weird to think that was the case, since for his entire life he felt like he was the only cat who had to follow by those rules. And she's on to me already, so I can at least tell her some of the stuff that's going on. That last thought convinced him, at least a little.

"I like you," he said, his voice staying completely calm. She was a beautiful she-cat, one that Spark didn't even notice that much before, and the ginger tom felt unusually comfortable around her despite never really talking before. Whether Shira reciprocated his feelings, he didn't know. Whether she realized what he meant by his words, the ginger tom was pretty sure that she would realize. She probably knows enough to understand what I mean by that. If she didn't, Spark would explain it to her.

He hoped that he didn't have to, though.

Shira squinted her eyes at the tom, trying to figure out if he was joking or not.  She never had someone say they liked her, even as a friend, but she was pretty sure Spark meant more than that.  The closest she had ever gotten to someone liking her as a friend was her sisters.  This was very new.  She didn't think anyone would or could like someone as closed off as she was.  "I don't know how to reply to that," she mumbled.  "Or maybe I'm just afraid you won't like what I have to say." Did she like this cat during scout training?  She couldn't really remember.  She normally buried down her emotions deep inside of her until they eventually vanished.  Why did this cat intrigue her so much?  Emotions were filling up her mind like a thunderstorm would fill up a hole with water.  She closed her eyes.

"Emotions are hard!" She yelled, accidentally out loud, opening her eyes when realizing her mistake.  What have you done to me you monster. She said, thankfully in her mind this time and not out loud.  How did this cat brake me so much with just one little sentence.  She could barely think.  Shira desperately wanted to change the subject, but knew that she own this cat an answer.  She felt something strange inside of her, like she never wanted to be around Spark again, but wanted to be with him the rest of her life as well.  The ginger tom seemed to be the only one interested in her, but she did not really think for this reason.

"I don't know!" She said at last.  "It's all too confusing!"

Of course this was how Shira would have reacted. The ginger tom should have known. Spark wasn't going to gain solace from expressing himself to her. He was just going to get yelled at, just like before. He wanted to shrink back into his shell, just like his life before Asylum. However, he still needed to defend himself. "You asked. I answered." He wasn't willing to say any more than that, just because he didn't feel as safe once he revealed his true feelings. That's why I don't share this with others, he thought. That's why I don't show people what I'm really feeling.

That's the reason why I stay silent most of the time.

The Scout didn't feel comfortable in this situation, talking to a cat that he liked with that same cat yelling at him for speaking his mind. At least Shira didn't say that she didn't like Spark, but the ginger tom believed that he was trying to hold on to a false sense of hope that doesn't exist. There's nothing I can do. She'd probably reject me in a few heartbeats. But he wanted to keep on trying, no matter what she did. It wasn't logical, and he was sure that it would only cause even more pain for himself, but he would try to stay with her.

Shira blinked with his next words. Normally if a cat was standing up to her, she would hiss right back and probably give them a rude insult back. She never cared if anything turned into a fight. Any relationship she had with any cat, friends or enemies did not matter at all to her. The only thing that ever mattered in her life was her sisters, and she did not think they would ever leave her, so she could just be herself. She put her head down and sighed, not making eye contact for a few moments.

"You're right," she finally responded, putting her head back up and looking at him. That was not something she said often or ever really. "I asked, you answered, and you deserve a better reply then I don't know."

What is wrong with me? she thought. Am I turning into one of those weird emotional cats like the Skyclan cats are? She really hoped not. And sharing her emotions one time would not turn her into that... right? Again, she sighed. Her thoughts and emotions at this point were all over the place but, she knew she always felt this weird feeling in her stomach every time she was around Spark. He seemed to be one of the only cats that seemed to be like her and she remembered feeling this strange thing when they were assigned to different clans. Although, she also always remembered trying to dismiss these feelings. This is why I try to not feel emotions. They are all too weird and annoying and confusing. She thought about how he was always quiet, like her. How she felt like she was putting up her mask and no one could see through it, but there he was. She felt alone all the time, but when he was there she felt like she was not by herself. Is that what liking someone feels like?

"Spark, I-" she cut off and swallowed. This was it. This was the time when she would finally let someone see her emotions, even if she still was not sure. "I think I like you." She closed her eyes. That was probably the most honest thing she said in her life... even if she was not sure about that yet.

The fact that Shira responded in that way was surprising to Spark. He was expecting her to just yell at him, and yet she just gazed down, unsure of herself. He understood the feeling. He felt that anything he said could be turned against him, and that definitely applied today. And yet she seemed to be opening up to him, in a way that was uncomfortable for both parties. At least she feels the same way as I do, he thought. It's comforting knowing that. At least his nonsensical love wasn't for nothing, at least she loved him back. He could almost smile, showing his true feelings for the first time in moons...

...but he knew that Shira wouldn't like that, so he kept his relief bottled up for now. However, it left the ginger tom without any way of dealing with the situation at hand properly. "So... what happens now?" From the dozens of conversations he had listened to in ShadowClan and his time in Asylum, he didn't hear any talks about love, or what you're supposed to do during this type of stuff. It pushed him out of his comfort zone, and he didn't like it. But perhaps it would be good for him to learn. Perhaps it was the shining light that would help him grow into a better cat than he could have ever dreamed of before. Maybe I... need this? Spark wasn't completely sure, so he awaited Shira's response on the matter.

When Spark asked that question, she, for some reason, felt very uncomfortable.  Shira had expressed her feelings and now everything... seemed really weird.  She thought for a moment about the Asylum, about the clans, but most of all about them.  They were not even assigned to the same clan.

"I don't know," she honestly responded.  "I only know a few things about us.  We like each other." She smiled, on the inside.  "And- and this is going to be hard." That hurt her to say.  She wished that it was as easy as she hoped, but she knew that it was impossible.  The Asylum assigned them to different clans, which made them able to see each other less and less.  "We'll only be able to see each other in the Asylum camp.  How are we going to be able to even meet much?"

This was all new to her.  Everything was new to her.  It seemed like her life was filled with inconsistency, she just hoped that this was not one case of it.

Spark thought about the problem for a while. They both wanted to see each other, but that was effectively impossible due to the fact that they were in different clans. It felt like he didn't understand the problem well enough or something. "We can always just... synchronize our leave so we can meet each other at Asylum camp." That was the best idea he could think of, at least at the moment. "We can meet back here every five sunrises." It didn't feel like it was a bad idea, at least. But of course, Shira had to accept the response. Looking down at the half-eaten sparrow, the ginger tom swallowed the rest of it whole. It didn't feel right just leaving it here. And it didn't feel right just leaving her in the dark, either. Perhaps she had a better idea in mind, but he could at least offer his own opinions on the matter. And maybe I've made the biggest mistake in my life.

Shira glanced up at Spark as he said his suggestion.  She tried to think of something better.  Something that would allow them to see each other when ever they wanted.  Although nothing came to her mind.  She shook her head.  "That sounds like the best we can do for now," she responded, with slightly more disappointment in her voice than she wanted.  For one of the few times in her life, she was worried.  What if Spark decides it's too hard?  What if he finds someone better?  What if one of the few cats I am actually telling how I feel is just someone who is going to leave me in the end, like what I've been afraid of my whole life.