when all that's left from a storm are ashes {open}

The battle. They'd won. But at what cost? It hadn't solved anything, Dacedream was still dead. Now that Lavenderbreeze and Vixenstar were dead, what point was there? Since the molly's death, all Stormpaw had thought about was revenge. And now? She was left feeling numb, uncertain. More and more, she doubted her place in the Clan. She didn't fit in. Any cat could see that. Nightmares plagued her sleeping hours, and a permanently haunted look filled her eyes. It would take a miracle to bring her back.


What good was love, anyways? She'd fought so valiantly for it, yet, she didn't feel the joy she thought she would. Where was the rush of happiness, prosperity from peace? Blood was spilled. So where were the rewards from their efforts? There wasn't. Oh, how Dacedream would have hated the extent of violence shown. And oh, how Dacedream would have made any victory or loss worth celebrating. But Dacedream was dead.

And Rainstrike was still alive. And Oakstar still defended her. Because she's his kin, a voice sneered in her head, He loves her more than you or Dacedream. Pah, Oakstar. Stormpaw could never forgive him, not in a million years. He'd let her best friend die. He'd lied to her, for so so long. He was not her father, she didn't have an ounce of Clan blood in here. Perhaps it was better this way. Yes, she mused, now I can really be myself, no strings.


Now, here she was, pawsteps out of camp. Freedom was so close. She could almost taste it. Finally, no more rules could restrict her.I can finally be me. And so, she didn't hesitate as she took another step. And another. And another. Until, finally, she could see camp no more. Can you see me, Dace? I love you. I'll never step paw in that treacherous place again.

Nettlefire quietly followed Stormpaw out of camp. She had no intention of trying to get the she-cat to return-- she doubted she could even if she did try. What she was trying to do was take the first step towards a change. She needed to speak her piece.

“Stormpaw, please wait a moment,” she called out once she got close enough. She had been intentionally trailing behind slightly, trying to formulate what to say. “I...doubt I am the one you would think would try to come after you. And I am not here to drag you back to camp and stick you in the elder’s den as punishment. I am not here to try to get you to come back at all. I simply had something I wanted to say. And then I will leave you to...do whatever you feel you need to do. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry. I am a bad sister, and I should have tried harder to connect with you, but I didn’t, because I am a coward who doesn’t know how to or want to cope with her own problems. I am just-- very sorry. I will always regret how much I failed,”

She turned back around, ready to head back to camp. The clan was in a moment of turmoil and as deputy she needed to get back as soon as possible. It had probably been a bad idea to leave at all-- but she knew if she hadn’t, she’d always regret that, too.

“Goodbye, Stormpaw. And whatever happens next...good luck,”

She'd expected someone to come after her. Cedarheart, Robinloft, Daisybloom, Dustcloud, even Oakstar, perhaps.

But she hadn't expected Nettlefire.

And so, when the older she-cat called out to her, she gave a little start, whirling around quickly with a snarl. Of course Oakstar would sent Nettlefire to do his bidding. "I'm not comi-" Her words went up in smoke, however, as Nettlefire spoke, saying that she wasn't here to drag her back. She apologized. At once, all her bitter anger flooded, replaced by a feeling she couldn't identify. Nettlefire had accepted her shortcomings. She'd risked her Clanmate's respect to bid her a farewell and an apology. She'd apologized. "Nettlefire, wait.."

The gray tabby hesitated, unsure what to say now. She'd told her to wait on impulse, and she wasn't ready for another goodbye. That was the whole reason on not looking back! "I- thank you. If we ever meet again, I hope we can meet on better terms, and make up for wasted time. There's one thing you can do for me, though." Stormpaw looked up at her older sister, by choice if not by blood, fiery determination in her eyes. "Take care of Daisybloom. She'll... She'll need you, be a better sister to me by being a better sister to her." Stormpaw requested, determination melting into a pleading look.

Sighing, she turned to walk away, but once more, she found herself pausing. With a second of hesitation, she rushed over to Nettlefire, and touches her nose to hers. "Goodbye, Nettlefire. Take care of yourself, good luck. I love you." And with that, she turned, refusing to look back or hesitate, in fear she may just cave. Suddenly, she became aware of the fact others may want to say a proper farewell, and so, finding a nice tree, she sat, waiting to see if any cats would come. Even if they couldn't convince her to stay, they could at least bid a proper farewell.

And so, she was left with her thoughts. She wouldn't stay here all night, no, just until she was certain no cats would come searching for her.

Cedarheart had come running, nearly instantly, after Stormpaw. Nettlefire was a few strides ahead of  her. She was close to reaching her destination as the deputy came in her way back. Hoping that the apprentice was still there, she surged forward, trying to make her way towards the she-cat. As she spotted the familiar grey pelt, her mouth drew closed, and her side heaved from running. ”Stormpaw...” she said, her green eyes still blinking back tears. ”You are so important to me. You helped me make it through so much. You were always there for me.” she mewed, a batch of silent tears running down her face. ”I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m sorry that I didn’t do more.” Her mind drifted back to the conversations she had, trying to make her friend feel better. As she racked through those memories, something clicked. ”But I understand why you have to leave.” she lifted her head, her eyes meeting Stormpaw’s. ”Just know that Thunderclan will always welcome you back. And I’ll always be here.” she mewed. ”Goodbye Stormpaw.” Cedarheart had come to terms with the moment, and she started her way back, a load heavy on her shoulders.

ooc: Daisybloom’s gonna come in a bit <3

Nettlefire nodded. For once she didn't try to hide the tears brimming in her eyes, or the emotion in her voice.

"I'll try to take care of Daisybloom, I promise. And I love you, too,"

With that, the deputy departed, sprinting at full speed back to camp. She noticed out of her peripheral vision that Cedarheart was heading towards where Stormpaw was, but she didn't have time to acknowledge her clanmate-- she wanted to get back to camp as soon as she was able. She just hoped that the situation hadn't managed to get worse in her relatively short absence.