Critique Me~

Ok, so what you do is you pick one or more of the sections and critique it. Don't be scared you'll hurt my feelings or seem rude, go for it! I won't be offended ^w^

Critique my roleplaying: Characters and their designs

Critique my writing style: My writing, including roleplay

Critique my art style: Tell me what you think of my art.

Other things you'd like to critique: Anything else.

YOUR PERFECT
i wish I was u

I love you and I hope you can see this as a constructive critique :3


Spotfur: Believe when I say that I love Spotfur but he is... hypocritical sometimes XD I don't know if you mean it like that as progress outside the roleplaying or it's only because you miss how he sometimes contradicts himself. For example:
Spot: "Most cats seem to think that a ceremony automatically makes you better and smarter than every other cat who hasn't had his or hers yet (...) So Viperstorm has nine lives like Ivystar then? I was born later, and that isn't MY fault."
That's from this topic and as you might see, Spot is angry because he believes that he shouldn't respect the warriors and treat them as superiors because he was an apprentice due to his young age.

Spot:"I'm not demanding you worship me, I'm just saying, would a warrior say that to a deputy? A kit to an apprentice? A deputy to a leader? No! Even of different Clans! I think I earned a little respect! I've got an apprentice, and you are one."
As you might know, this is Spotfur in the Gathering arguing with Thornpaw and as you see, it's the total opposite of what he said in the past.

As I said before, I don't know if he developed that opinion during through time outside the roleplaying or if he's just being hypocritical XD. At least that how I (as a person who sees him without knowing him) see him now.

Wolf: I don't like him too much :/ and it isn't because he was a murderer. For example, I like Gingerstripe even if he killed his mother. But it was just... the madness thing bothered me because it came from nowhere. His crazy moments, in my opinion, should have a backstory to be more realistic (traumatic events or something like that). I believe his character deserved more development before going on that murder train.

Flickerpaw: Unlike Spotfur and Wolf, I think Flicker is one of your best characters. I love how you're planning her new life in Riverclan and how her future development has reasons to be like that. I hope you can keep working on her :3

Cinderpaw: Nothing much to say but I simply love that boi. He's mature despite his young age (just like Jaystream when he was Jaypaw :D) and I see him as Simba sometimes XD. I really look up to more topics of him in the future.

on Spotfur, I can see how it seems hypocritical. I like to think he learned from that little... argument... that he should keep his mouth shut since he was only an apprentice and now that he's a warrior, he expects exactly what Viperstorm demanded from him. To add on, I think he ate a little catnip or smthn before that gathering because he wasn't exactly his best self. And honestly Spot was young and proud back when he tore apart his reputation.

on Wolf, I agree. There's a reason I killed him off so early ;) After all, my first roleplaying was not good, so I'm still learning. I think his original idea was that an evil spirit possessed him, but he was able to keep it away at times, and then a lot of evil op stuff happened. My first idea was that he had some version of the multi-personality disorder.

At one point, I thought Flicker's murder was the worst decision I ever made with her. Now I know that it allowed for a lot of development and plot fun.