Hello... A Sandy Night

Sandpaw lay at te top of the gorge. She had her head on her paws and was looking at the stars above. Her green eyes were so miserable and sad at that moment.

Maplepaw sighed and padded up the slope of the gorge. "Hey Sandpaw.. I'm really sorry I didn't know that you two liked each other.. I meant no harm, and I really wanted to become friends.. if you want you can have Deerpaw to yourself.. and I'm sorry I hurt you in our fight.. here I brought you this.." The dark red she cat meowed her darker red stripes lay flat against her pelt. She pushed Sandpaw a squirrel and stepped back waiting, she didn't know if she would forgive her but she hoped she did and they could become friends.

Sandpaw looked at her wearily. Her once beautiful figure was beaten down and now looked horrible. She was in bad condition. She had no longer groomed or cared for her body. The young apprentice was scrawny and her fur was mangled and knotted. She looked at Maplepaw with sad eyes that were so dull they were almost black now. She let out a long breathe and drew her paw out slowly and snatched the squirrel, her eyes remaining on Maplepaw the whole time. She dragged the squirrel slowly towards herself than inhaled painfully.
"I never blamed you," Sandpaw murmured, her voice rough and miserable," I blame Deerpaw. He knew that I loved him, he loved me... Then he decided to cheat and be disloyal to me... He chose to go behind my back. You never knew," Sandpaw sighed and slowly sat up, her slim belly already showing ribs.
"I don't even know if he wants me," she said with such misery it hurt. She closed her eyes and began to cry.

"Oh Sandpaw don't cry!! I blame Deerpaw to I didn't know that he loved you either so... I dunno.. if you want him you can take him and ill step back. Although it pains me to do so, I will do it for a friend, I can find another mate, although I will never stop loving Deerpaw, however if you toss him away them I guess ill stay with him.. I dunno. I hate seeing cats in pain, especially a clan mate." Maplepaw meowed trying to comfort the she cat. She padded forward and gently gave her ear a lick, trying to comfort her. She almost recoiled, because the smell that came from Sandpaw, was sickness and infection. "Oh Sandpaw you need to see Acornpaw!! Your wounds are infected, and you smell sick, did you eat something bad? Or did you just get sick from the infection?" She meowed starting to groom the ginger apprentices matted, bloody fur.  She can't just kill herself.. I won't let her die no matter what!! Even if I have to stuff her fresh kill with herbs, and make it so she can't smell them..  She thought determined not to let her die.

Sandpaw let out a shuddering breathe and she trembled.
"I don't know," she whispered, her voice shaky. Did Deerpaw love her or was she just another she-cat? She felt the small luck on her ear and she shrunk down as the apprentice recoiled. She hadn't been doing much to stay healthy. She had invited pain in to overtake the misery but all it did was add to it. She had quit being healthy and let herself break apart like an egg. She wanted to just kill herself... To end the misery. But what were the consequences?
"I might've eaten a rat or two..." Sandpaw mewed blankly. Or seven. She had eaten the rats to get ill, hoping to keel over and end up in Starclan. But she only became ill and more depressed. The small ginger she-cat stated off into the camp with sadness. She felt Maplepaw's tongue rasping over her fur. She flinched and began to revoil from her but decided to just stay there. She relaxed.
"I don't care about my health, Maplepaw. I don't want to live in this cruel place," she whispered, which was hardly audible.

Maplepaw's eyes widened. "If you really want to die I can help you. But only if you really want to die." She meowed her voice cracking with greif at thinking she lost another friend already.

Sandpaw shrugged and looked at the stars sadly.
"Maybe I can change something," she murmured. Sandpaw shook her head and sighed.
"Sometimes I wonder if Deerpaw actually liked me... Was I just not enough?" she murmured blankly. Then she narrowed her eyes.
"I have to right my wrongs. I have to stop pouting over myself," Sandpaw turned around and took a long stare at her disgusting fur. Blood still clogged her fur and her wounds were red and swollen. She felt woozy at the sight. Why did she let this happen? She looked down and Maplepaw's perfectly groomed fur and back to her own.
"I have to try," she muttured.

Maplepaw breathed out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Good I didn't want to give you deathberries." She meowed and she meant it.

Sandpaw chuckled.
"Good thing you didn't," she mewed half heartedly. She got up and stretched.