SaCrIfIcE - Comments And CONSTRUCTIVE Criticism

So here's where you put comments and stuff here. I made this on my bored time while listening to Vocaloid.

Ah! That's why the story was so familiar Stormi! It's the Daughter of Evil series. Fantastic so far by the way~

Thanks :3

It's actually a combination of Daughter of Evil and Alice of Human Sacrifice. I know those are from similar stories(by the same people) but yeah x3

I haven't listened to Alice of Human Sacrifice yet, but I heard it's really good. Yeah, no problem. It's really interesting! I was going to complain about where Glaceon was, but I can't make you. Despite my urging want for Glaceon, you'll add one later on since I'm seeing the Eeveelutions so far. Impressive story though.

Alice of Human Sacrifice is my favorite song by Vocaloid

Glaceon is in the second chapter, friend x3

He's Vaporeon's love. And yes I am using Eveelutions for all of the main characters :D

Wow, I'm so stupid. I must have missed the details while I was reading it. Sorry about that~

Now that the story is done, I have a question often in several AMVs of these stories:

Who is the next Alice?

There is no specific answer, but I'm curious to what others think x3

*hugs Story* <33333

Definitely unique when it comes to how the story is told. Kinda like one of those childhood story-books rather than the current chapter books, where a certain character is being focused on.

Cool, though you did repeat a lot of your descriptive words in it. That bugged me a little but it's still pretty good for a short-story :)

Oh okay. Thanks x3

I just couldn't think of a lot of words at the time :3

Very nice Stormi! :D love your words though, I was thinking on basing a storyafter yours but I just don't have the time so far yet with my moving n' all. But I love it. You should really post this on Mebba.com But nevertheless I love your story. You unique way of writing. Do you take any writing classes? I don't but still I've been trying my hardest with my details.


BTW, when I get my computer with internet, could I draw you a cover page?

If you want to x3 Thanks btw.

But I was born with a knack for writing, though a lot of you probably won't believe it. Never took a writing class.

I love em' Stormi!

I was born with good memory, and poetry skills. Give me a topic, I can write about it. xD

This described in a poem:

Stormi, dear, you did well.
I enjoy it, it was swell.

I loved the worth, from your heart.
It surely did, play a part.