[An author's note is a little strange for me to do here, but... I felt that Batbite deserved a more solid ending than I could have given her. Given that her story is well and truly over, this will have to do for my peace of mind.
As a last note, after some light searching to see where she was referenced as still being alive, the end of this piece takes place in the early days of winter; though it starts out in late spring.]
Her legs give out underneath her on patrol, and she hisses in pain at an impact that shouldn’t faze her at all. She is falling, slowly, and this is wrong - she has to stand tall, despite the irony of it, has to do everything she can to support her mate. He wanted her to be at his side, and that is the only place she wants to be now.
(She still dreams of distant lands, but in her dreams she is never alone. She can’t bear to be alone again, not after knowing him. In her dreams, they disappear together, vanished in the night to discover things yet unknown; but she could never do that to their family.)
She doesn't go willingly, but she does go to the medicine den. She wouldn't delay it like this, wouldn't let her hypocrisy be so obvious, but - she has this shaking feeling that it's not a temporary thing, despite her words. She isn't ready for that, even as she goes.
She is slipping, spirit staying strong even as her body fails her. Newleaf turns to greenleaf turns to leaf-fall, and she is stubbornly clinging to a life she's not ready to lose, boldly claiming that she'll soon be standing on her own four paws, even as the world is moving forward without her. Her world is shrinking by the day, until it's little more than the cats who come to visit and the walls of the medicine den.
She spends a lot of time sleeping because she can’t do much of anything else, and the time she’s awake she passes by thinking to herself, or telling stories she wants to remember. It doesn't matter if anyone's listening, she wants to remember. She spends her time trying to make sense of her life. “It’s not fair,” she whispers into the shadows of the night, and her voice is too quiet to carry on the breeze.
It’s not. She was supposed to have more time. She doesn’t feel old, just weak. Stubborn as she was, she'd never thought something so mundane as an unshakable illness would be the thing to finally get the best of her.
The stars, are they listening now? Are they watching her falter?
She wonders what it will be like, when the last of her strength finally leaves her. She has long accepted that the stars don’t want her; that when she last stood before her father and he told her he loved her she would never see him again. That her siblings are lost to her forever. It's never hurt as much as it does now, she would give almost anything to see them all just one more time.
She clings to her living loved ones like there will be nothing after this, because she does not expect there to be. How could they take her as she is, after the life she's lived?
Her life plays out before her, everyone she’s ever loved and everyone she’s ever lost and everything she’s ever done. Every one of her ill-advised misadventures, every choice that led her to where she is now. All of her lingering regrets, all of the ghosts that have come to haunt her.
She is Batbite, once-warrior of ThunderClan, former deputy, mate to Minkstar, mother of their kits. She is the daughter of Leopardstar, sister to Lynxtail and Copperheart and Specklepaw and Shadekit. She is a shell of herself, destined to waste away like this. She imagines that she will not be remembered as anything more than just another warrior of ThunderClan. She wonders if the other warriors ever think about it. Do they wonder, sometimes, how they will be remembered?
Perhaps, when they tell stories of the tragedies she’s lived through - the flood and the mountains, the battle with the Righteous Few, the defeat of Asylum - she will still have some small part to play. Perhaps her memory will not be entirely lost to history, perhaps something about her will be immortialized in an elder's tale. It’s a nice thought, at least. A small comfort.
She doesn’t care what anyone has to say about her, really, outside of her family. As long as they remember her; remember her as she was, not the shell that she’s become- as long as they remember, that will have to be enough.
It won't last forever. The thought that they will never see each other again is bitter, with nothing to sweeten it beyond the memories of the life they made together. Like the fading sunset, or the scent that sticks after rain, those memories are beautiful but temporary. “I always thought we’d have more time…”
Tell me we’ll see each other again, she almost says. Promise me that this isn’t the end.
She thinks Strom is there. Mermurr might be, too. She can’t be sure, because the line between memories and reality only grows thinner as more time passes, but the warmth feels as real as the chill. “Strom… I’m sorry,” she whispers. If he's real, or even if he’s just a ghost of her mind, she hopes he can hear her. That he'll understand the weight of her words. “I love you. All of you. Please… Just don’t forget.”
Remember that I was here.
She looks up to the stars - a wish made in silence, that she might live on in their memories - and looks back to the form of her mate. If this is the last time she will ever get to see him, she will ensure that he is the last thing she sees, committing every detail to memory.
Her eyes drift shut for the last time, and when she finds the strength to open them once again she is greeted by starlight and an overwhelming sense of love. She finds that she can stand easily now, somehow; that her mind is clearer than before, and there are familiar faces standing before her. When the reason finally dawns on her she can’t help but laugh, the sound that escapes her soft and bittersweet. "I was always so afraid..."
She thinks of Strom, left to live and to lead ThunderClan - their ThunderClan, the home they made together - and their family, and despite the impossibility of it, she hopes they can hear her voice carry on the evening breeze.
"We’ll see each other again," she promises, and then she runs forward to meet the cats that have come to greet her.
When the time comes, maybe she'll suggest they go on another adventure. She's sure that between the two of them they could find something worth exploring. They could even bring the rest of their family along this time.
For now, it's something to look forward to. A promise that their story isn't over yet.
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[Only mods are allowed to see this link][character pages]Leopardstar ~ Nightdancer ~ Lightningbreeze ~ Mistflower ~ Scarletflare ~ MintShadowClan ~ ThunderClan ~ SkyClan ~ SkyClan ~ RiverClan ~ Guardian of Twilight
Leader ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Warrior ~ Rogue
Tier 5 ~ Tier 5 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 3 ~ Tier 1 ~ Tier 1 
