My Story!!!! Party Time!!!

ok, plz tell me what you think! this might get published! i dunno, said MIGHT.
oh, and its got alternative endings! PLZ reply!


Party Time!

A herd of zebras were grazing, unaware of the danger near by. A cat, a large muscular lion, was hiding in the grasses. Prowling near, it sounded a call. The zebras raised their heads, surprised. They ran, frightened, and as a large lioness leaped, everything turned off. “Hey!” A middle-sized boy with a green Mohawk exclaimed. Outside, a thunderstorm was forming. “I hate stormy days! I can never watch any T.V!” Another boy walked into the room. “Homer, I can hear your complaining from the other room!” Homer glared at Larry, a tall and smart boy with braces and short black hair. “Don’t worry about the television, we should be getting ready for the Halloween party we are having tonight!” Larry said.

“What is all this stupid fighting about?” exclaimed Bob, a short kid with brown hair and a dangerously bad temper. “I was trying to play video games, and you two have been shouting at each other for, like, hours!” He snapped. Then, the doorbell rang. “The party!” exclaimed Homer. He ran to the kitchen for the party supplies, and Larry muttered, “I knew we should have set it up when we had time…” Homer appeared at the kitchen door. “Why do you have that look on your face?” asked Bob nervously. “The party stuff is gone!” Homer shouted.

“WHAT?!” Exclaimed Bob and Larry together. “This isn’t possible! How does someone sneak into a room without being seen by the two people in it? It’s just unethical!” frisked Larry. “They managed to pull it off because you two idiots were shouting at each other the whole time!” said Bob. The doorbell rang again. “What are we going to do?” panicked Homer. He looked at Larry, hoping for ideas, but Larry shook his head in dismay.
“I have a plan,” said Bob. “What?” asked Larry. ”No time. Go, look for the stuff, go now!” Homer and Larry nodded and headed for the attic, barely able to hear Bob shout, “Dance competition!” as he let the partygoers in. As they went to the two staircases where they could go in either the attic or the basement, the two boys drew in deep breaths. “Let’s go into the basement first,” suggested Larry. Homer nodded, and they went down the stairs.

Homer and Larry searched the supplies, and creepy feeling arose in Homer. They decided to split up so they could cover more ground. There was a strange noise, and he saw that he couldn’t find Larry anywhere. “L-Larry?” he called, shakily. Then, he heard the basement door open. He ran to it, and saw that it was wide open. Maybe he didn’t find anything, so he went to the attic, he thought. He shut the basement door and went up the attic staircase. Now the creepy feeling was a feeling of pure dread. What happened to the supplies? And worse, what happened to Larry?

Homer was creeping slowly up the stairs when he heard a strange noise. He looked to find where the noise had come from, even though he already knew where it had come from. It came from the attic. From Larry.

Quietly, he reached the door. He thought over and over and over; should I go in there? Should I go inside the attic? What happened to Larry? Whatever happened to Larry… could happen to me… he reached forward to open the door. But he didn’t even need to. The door creaked as it opened, all by itself. Homer stared wide-eyed, what left of his confidence fading. “The things I do for him…” he muttered to himself and stepped inside the attic. The door slammed shut with a BANG and he spun around, alarm in his voice as he said, “W-who’s there?” His mind raced, his heart beating fast. He ran to the door and tried opening it. It wouldn’t budge. The attic door with the outside lock wouldn’t budge.

Homer was terrified. He stepped back. He knew it was no use. Once the attic was locked, it was locked. And it stayed locked. Suddenly, there was a shout. A flashlight clicked on. A person with a mask and big muscles and a chainsaw was standing right in front of him.

The chainsaw blared on with a WWWHHHIIIRRR and they lunged at him. Homer fled, and for the first time, he thought he knew exactly what happened to Larry. “OOOF!!” he bumped into something big, and hairy, and growling at him. Another flashlight clicked. A giant werewolf was right in front of him.

Homer’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. The masked person was still after him. And now, he ran, the werewolf after him, too. He went to another section, and thinking he lost the pursuers, he sat down, gasping for breath. Another flashlight clicked on. He saw a spattered red trail. A trail of blood. And it lead toward a motionless body, the body of Larry.

((plz excuse double post- no one replied!))



Homer stared at the lifeless body. He couldn’t feel his legs as he got up and walked towards it. He leaned over. “Larry…”

Suddenly, the body jumped up and shouted, “I HAVE COME BACK TO TAKE REVENGE!” Homer screamed, terrified. Larry bent over laughing. “Larry!” Homer was enraged. “I thought you were dead!” the masked chainsaw person stepped out into the light. Then came the werewolf. The chainsaw guy removed his mask. “Jackson?” asked Homer. The werewolf took off his mask. Then it’s middle separated, the top jumping off and a girl got out of it as a boy struggled out of the legs. “Clarence? And Alexis? What are you doing here?” Jackson smirked. “Come out, Pierce and Allan.” Two boys stepped out of the shadows. Jackson headed over to the door. “Open up, Jim.” The attic door swung open, and yet another boy emerged.

Homer stared around at the other kids. “What… what on Earth is going on?” Alexis said, ”Just any ordinary practical joke.” She sneered. “As you can see, Jackson here thought up the plan. He was the chainsaw guy and Clarence and me was the werewolf. Joe locked you in, and Pierce and Allan turned on the flashlights. Larry here agreed to be the person who died due to some… persuasion.” As she finished, the rest of the kids grew large smiles. Oh, man, this can’t be good… thought Homer.

“Well, why is there blood?” he asked. “Paint,” said Pierce. The kids appeared satisfied, except for Jackson. “Well, a deal’s a deal,” he said. “Let us party here or you don’t get your stuff back!” Homer, greatly surprised, looked at Larry. “What? What do you mean, ‘deal’? Did you know they were going to take the stuff?” Larry shook his head. “I was supposed to just bring you up here… I hadn’t a clue they were going to do this…” Homer felt very angry. “And so you made a deal? You made a deal with these jerks? And they took the stuff, and now they won’t give it back unless we let them stay here, in our house?” Larry looked away. “Yes…” he muttered.

“Great, and now it’s your decision. Let us stay, or have a lame party,” said Allan. “Either way, we’re satisfied.” “Make you look stupid for trying to have a good time and epically failing, or we get a party!” finished Jim. Clarence walked up to Homer. “Come on, I know you wouldn’t want a lame party!” Homer backed away. “We don’t want trouble,” said Larry. “Just give us our stuff back and go away.”
“You don’t expect us to actually do that, do you?” said Pierce, who walked up beside Clarence. Both of the boys were bigger than Homer, and even though they weren’t quite as tall as Larry, they were still stronger. “Well… no…” said Larry. Homer didn’t want to give up, but he knew he had to. “Fine. You can stay. Give us our stuff.”

Pierce went back, and Clarence continued staring menacingly at Homer. Pierce came back with the supplies, which were in a cooler. He threw it at Homer, who was knocked back by the power of the throw and the weight.

When they got to the stairs, Homer glared at Larry for getting them into the mess. Great, he thought, this is just great! When they reached the main room, the place was a mess. Kids were everywhere. Monica, Jesse, Louis, Ben, Hannah, Chance, Autumn, Riley, Bailey, more kids than they could name or count were in the room, dancing, listening to music, or just talking. Bob was nowhere to be seen. “Oh, great, now Bob is gone!” Homer said bitterly.
“I’m right here,” said Bob, suddenly appearing. He looked worn and tired; his short hair was mussed and frizzy. His shirt was wrinkled. “Whoa- I never knew parties were so rough!” exclaimed Homer. Bob shook his head, and then noticing Jackson, Pierce, Allan, Alexis, Clarence and Jim, he said, “What are THEY doing here?” Homer and Larry looked uneasily at each other, but before they could answer, Clarence pushed his way to the front.

“We’re here for the party!” he said. Bob looked at Homer, and he nodded. “Fine. Whatever. Homer, where’s the stuff?” “Right here,” answered Jackson. Pierce pulled it to him. “Finally! I’ve had a rough night…”

“Worst party EVER” complained Bob. Remains of a cupcake that Jim had bombarded them with during the party were on his face. He sat on the couch in front of the T.V. “agreed!” said Homer, who was messed up the most. Pierce had poured lemonade over his head and green hair coloring had stained his jeans and favorite black shirt; Clarence had picked him up while Jackson borrowed Alexis’s make-up and smeared lipstick over his face; Allan made the crowd unhappy and worked with Jim to get them to throw the cupcakes. Larry was sitting on the wood rocking chair, wet. He had been tied up with streamers and thrown into the pool.

Now the party had ended, and they sat, dismayed at how the jerks had ruined the party. “This is all your fault!” Homer said angrily to Larry. “What do you mean, ‘my fault’? It’s not my fault!” objected Larry. “Yes, it is! Look at me! YOU were the one who dealed with those jerks! YOU were the one who got us into the mess! YOU were the one who decided to let them stay!” Larry stood up, and so did Homer. They started shouting at each other. “Just stop fighting, ok?!” exclaimed Bob. “ I CANNOT take it anymore! You two are ALWAYS fighting! You two just will NOT shut up!” they both looked at Bob. “if we all keep fighting like this, why are we friends? It isn’t Larry’s fault, or Homer’s! It’s Jackson’s fault! HE came up with the plan! HE carried it out! HE ruined the party! Not you, not me, Jackson!”

They sat down again. They thought long and hard, unsure what to do next or how to get revenge. “Hey,” said Larry. “I’ve got a plan. Do we have any cupcakes left?”

Larry, Bob and Homer crept silently through the night. They approached a house. Silently, they loosened a window. Opening it wide enough to slip in, they headed upstairs. When they reached the destination, they silently opened the door. They crept into the room to the bed. “Got another blindfold?” asked Homer quietly. Bob nodded. He handed him a cloth. Quickly, he shook the sleeping kid, Pierce, and as he woke up he slipped the blindfold around him. They dragged him back through the house and out the window. They reached the sidewalk, where and old wagon was. In the wagon and also blindfolded was Alexis, Jim, Clarence, Allan and Jackson. “Perfect… now you go and join your friends in the wagon…”

All three had to pull the heavy wagon home. When they finally got there, they took them inside. Removing the clothes that were blocking their vision, Bob, Larry and Homer stood back to admire their work. They had smashed the rest of the cupcakes in their hair, used extra hair coloring on their clothes, and poured the rest of the lemonade and the apple juice all over them. They also tied them up with streamers and made fun of them.

“Oh, man! Just leave us alone already!” said Alexis. “Dude, we get it, right guys?” said Jackson. “Oh, yes, definitely!” said Jim. “Uh-huh!” said Clarence. “Right! We get it! You’re angry, we did the wrong thing, and we’ve learned our lesson, right Pierce? Pierce?” asked Allan, but Pierce didn’t answer. Finally, he said, “I am going to KILL you! When I get out of this, you are DEAD MEAT!”

“Oh? I don’t think so!” Said Homer. “What I think is that you won’t mess with us again or THIS might happen.” Larry handed him a cake that was unopened. Homer threw it right at Pierce’s face. It went everywhere. The tied-up kids were shocked as Pierce just sat there, too dumbfounded to respond. “No one likes the icing!” sneered Bob. He untied them. “Now get lost!” he opened the door and they dashed out.

“Well,” said Homer, “I don’t think they will be bothering us for a while!” “You bet not!” Exclaimed Bob. “Yeah, that was so fun!” agreed Larry. “It’s all thanks to you and your great ideas!” said Homer. “C’mon, lets clean this place up and go to bed,” So that night, they cleaned up and slept well. As you can guess, Jackson, Alexis, Jim, Allan, Clarence And Pierce hardly ever even made contact, even at school. Pierce and Homer still hated each other. And Larry was often gone to for good ideas. Bob, Homer and Larry had great lives from then on.

PPEPS POST!

Your literary skills are quite different here than in RP... O-o

Different in a bad way?
:HauntedSadness

hmmm, intresting. you might want to explain more. like why they were having the party, what relations they have to each other, the setting. is it night or day? where are they australia or the US? and i like your vocabuary. only when you used more challenging words. try to mix somemore in there. and be a little more descriptive. nice story ^^ oh and ages wold be nice too.

thank you, THAT is the sort of stuff i'm looking for.
I am testing you guys to see your level in literature.
I want to know what you catch and let slip.
Well done, Feather. Good thinking!

If you'd like me to critque the story, I'd be happy too. But I can't help but noticing that this is obviously much to advanced for you to come up with. I hope this isn't plageurised, for that's illegal...

what? you think i cant make such stories? does it seem like i did?
I didnt know there was a story like that...
I'll remove it if you want me too...

See, now you're getting defensive. Please, I'm just saying this looks very different than how you Roleplay. I'm not saying this is perfect; It's not, I've seen many mistakes, though it's a GREEEEAAAAT story.

sorry, im... well.... sensitive.
It makes me sad that someone on a different site told me i did good
and made an interesting story when i was 9, and now im being accused of
plagerism...

He means in posts, you use bad grammer. Here, you use good grammer.

ok,
A: Im 2 lazy to post right
B: this is a school asignment

Ah I see. So you post right when its required.

Sun, the story was cool, what grade did you get on it?