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Splotch The Quail wrote:

Sorry about the Eagles, Burd. One Bird Bro has to survive. </3

Between Hawks, Cards, and Iggles, NFC Bird Bro competition for a playoff spot is going to be fierce this year.

Ideally (and realistically):

AFC:
1. Patriots
2. Broncos
3. Colts
4. Ravens
5. Chargers
6. Bengals

NFC:
1. Cardinals
2. Lions
3. Cowboys
4. Panthers
5. Eagles
6. Seahawks

With everybody but the Falcons managing to sneak in, because the NFC is too damn good. I mean, look at the AFC. Replace the Bengals with the Steelers and the Chargers with any random team and the AFC playoffs look like that literally every single year. The NFC is always inexplicably a clusterf**k, and this year we have Cowboys/Eagles/Lions/Packers/Cardinals/49ers/Seahawks all competing for the two wildcard spots. Why cruel God.

Additional notes on my AFC playoff comment:

List of teams representing the AFC in the Super Bowl since the year 2004:
Denver Broncos (QB: Peyton Manning)
Baltimore Ravens (QB: Joe Flacco)
New England Patriots (QB: Tom Brady)
Pittsburgh Steelers (QB: Ben Roethlisberger)
Indianapolis Colts (QB: Peyton Manning)
Pittsburgh Steelers (QB: Ben Roethlisberger)
New England Patriots (QB: Tom Brady)
Indianapolis Colts (QB: Peyton Manning)
Pittsburgh Steelers (QB: Ben Roethlisberger)
New England Patriots (QB: Tom Brady)
New England Patriots (QB: Tom Brady)

That is literally the same three guys every single year plus Joe Flacco. With the Ravens. Who have been more-or-less a consistent powerhouse since they were stolen from Cleveland.

List of teams representing the NFC in the Super Bowl since the year 2004:
Seattle Seahawks (QB: Russell Wilson)
San Francisco 49ers (QB: Colin Kaepernick)
New York Giants (QB: Eli Manning)
Green Bay Packers (QB: Aaron Rodgers)
New Orleans Saints (QB: Drew Brees)
Arizona Cardinals (QB: Kurt Warner)
New York Giants (QB: Eli Manning)
Chicago Bears (QB: Rex "Sex Cannon" Grossman)
Seattle Seahawks (QB: Matt Hasselbeck)
Philadelphia Eagles (QB: Donovan McNabb)
Carolina Panthers (QB: Jake Delhomme)

Eli Manning has the most SB wins and appearances out of all of them. The Manning that looks like he has downs. That one.

EDIT:

These are truly the last days.

Yo, that was our Gatorade. D|

Splotch The Quail wrote:

Yo, that was our Gatorade. D|

Those were Jay's hopes and dreams.

So the Texans won. 8D

I was bored.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU MCCOY!

COWBOYS LOSE AT HOME IN OVERTIME TO A GOAT MCCOY-LED WASHINGTON TEAM!!!



BASED COLT HAVE MY BABIES

NFL STANDINGS WEEK 8 EDITION: THE NFC SOUTH IS STILL REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD

I should hate the Cards more, but I just can't. They're like the NFC's answer to the Bills. If the Hawks have any chance at the division I need to hope for an Arizona collapse, but I genuinely hope they succeed. They're my Birdbros. They're my Lose-to-The-Steelers-In-a-Heart-Breaker-Super-Bowl-and-Languish-in-Misery-for-Eight-Years-bros. You can't root against your Comrades in Depression. It just ain't right.

Let me put this into perspective.

The Cardinals were born 116 years ago. They are the oldest NFL team still in existence.

They have won two pre-merger championships. The first, against the Pottsville Maroons, is contested and shrouded in controversy to this day, with many believing the game should have gone to Pottsville. The second doesn't really matter anyways, because the NFL doesn't like to count anything before the creation of the Super Bowl.

So the Cardinals' only claim to fame are two championship games that took place when your great-grandmother was in elementary school, both of which don't count in today's League, and one of which they didn't even legitimately win.

Okay, whatever. The Lions, Browns, Eagles, and a few other teams are all in the same boat. Not that bad, right? Except the Cardinals have only won their division four times in their entire history.

Like, there's historically bad, and then there is I-Swear-To-God-This-Team-Makes-Me-Want-to-Kill-Myself bad.

The Hawks have sucked for a good 90% of their existence, but let's compare for a second. They're only 40 years old, have appeared in two Super Bowls, have appeared in a Conference Championship game three times (winning twice), and have won twice the amount of division titles as the Cards. And they suck most of the time. Like, even half the time they've won the NFC West, they've still sucked. We were known as the NFC Worst for awhile there. We managed to win it with a losing record. Don't ask. It was a dark time.

So Cards, I hope this isn't a fluke, and you guys are genuinely contenders for the Super Bowl. Just let us into the wildcard. Please. The 49ers make me physically sick to my stomach.

WEEK 8 STANDINGS

1. Denver (6-1)
2. Arizona (6-1)
3. New England (6-2)
4. Detroit (6-2)
5. Dallas (6-2)
6. Philadelphia (5-2)
7. Cincinnati (4-2-1)
8. Indianapolis (5-3)
9. San Diego (5-3)
10. Green Bay (5-3)
11. Buffalo (5-3)

12. Baltimore (5-3)
13. Pittsburgh (5-3)
14. Kansas City (4-3)
15. San Francisco (4-3)
16. Seattle (4-3)
17. Miami (4-3)
18. Cleveland (4-3)
19. Houston (4-4)

20. Carolina (3-4-1)

21. New Orleans (3-4)
22. NY Giants (3-4)
23. Chicago (3-5)
24. Minnesota (3-5)
25. Washington (3-5)
26. St. Louis (2-5)
27. Tennessee (2-6)
28. Atlanta (2-6)
29. Tampa Bay (1-6)
30. NY Jets (1-7)
31. Jacksonville (1-7)
32. Oakland (0-7)

Remember when everyone said that New England sucked now and Brady was too old? Ahahahahahahaha. Stupid people.

And remember when somebody said that the Saints would be in the Super Bowl? Ahahaha. I don't remember who said that. Must have been a real idiot though.
>3>
<3<
I never claimed to be able to read the future.

In other news:
1. I went 9-6 in predictions this week. Ouch.
2. The Bills apparently still have a winning record. I really, really, really hope they snag the wildcard. They're probably my favorite team in the AFC. So don't collapse on me Bills, please. I don't even care if you get terribly blown out in the first round. Just making it into the playoffs would make my year.

(Buffalo has not qualified for the postseason in 15 years)
(They have also not finished with a winning record in 10 years)
(For the love of all that is holy please keep the Northerners out of the wildcard)

This week's predictions:
Boba Fetts
Bungals
Factory of Sadness
Cardiac Cards
Iggles
Queefs
Lolphans
Indigenous Peoples of North America Possessing a Reddish Complexion
Santa Clara
Evil Empire
SEEHAKS
Jackdaws
Indie (still recovering from their tragic rape by Big Ben)

All-time record:
80-41 (or 80-40-1?)

Let the record show.

If the Hawks struggle against god damn Oakland at home I might kill myself.

P.S. A moment of silence for the Kansas City Royals :(

BRADY! BRADY! BRADY!

#WETFOREDELMAN

EDIT: I am so done with Carpenter. God damn.