Chp 1: Billy
Billy was outside on his porch, knees crossed and sitting like that guy L from Death Note. He watched the clouds. One looked like a bunny. Another looked like a Velociraptor. Another looked like something inappropriate that will not be mentioned in this book.
Billy Went to the park, regular mood, regular day, regular velociraptors. He was fine, all derpy and whatnot, when he saw a legend, something never to be seen before by the naked human eye which seriously is a weird name for an eye because not all eyes are naked and human. My dog had a clothed eye. That counts for something…oh right the story! Okay so basically what Billy saw was Dezz, eating ice cream and sitting on the 3-year-old slide of the park playground. The kids were huddling in a corner, staring at him with huge bubbly eyes. Dezz was wearing nothing but underwear, and it looked like one of the moms over huddling with the kids was calling the cops.
Billy marched over to Dezz.
Billy: DEZZ!!!!
Dezz: *drops ice cream* WHO WUT WEREohhaibilly
Billy: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Dezz: WELL I WAS EATING ICE CREAM IN MY UNDERWEAR DREAMING OF KATY PEARY IN HER CUPCAKE BIKINI WHILE WAITING FOR THE COPS TO COME ARREST ME SO I COULD MAKE A RUN FOR IT LIKE THOSE GUYS IN THE MOVIES MEN IN BLACK 1 AND 2 BUT NOW YOU JUST RUINED THAT WHEN YOU MADE ME DROP MY STUFF!
Billy: YOU HAVE NO STUFF TO DROP!
Dezz: OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Billy: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’
Cops: *appearing* OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Billy: RUN MAN RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE
Dezz: AHHHHHH *starts running in his underwear, and being the fatty he is with floppy sh*tloads of skin, it looked pretty horrifying*
Billy: *waving some kits pants they had peed in when they saw Dezz in his underwear in the air* WOOOOO RUN MAN RUN!
One kid’s mom: WHAT THE HELL?! WHO WAS THAT GUY?
So Billy explained that was Dezz, a legend, something never to be seen before by the naked human eye which seriously is a weird name for an eye because not all eyes are naked and human. My dog had a clothed eye. That counts for something…AH F*CK I DID IT AGAIN anyways…The moms stared at him, mouths agape when suddenly Dezz flashed past with the cops on his tail right in front of them. Instantly everyone nearby, even Billy, screamed and ran in circles from what they just saw.
Kid’s mom: MY EYEEEEEEEEEES! MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEES!
Another mom: DEEYEFEUJUEEEEEE!
Yet another mom: MY LEG!!! MY LEGGGGGG!
F*CK HOW MANY MOMS ARE THERE?!: *slams into Another Mom while running in circles* GDRTHWRyart#@$%%^#$^#%&&&#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Billy: *watching single ladies run around getting bloody with thereselves.* Hell yeah |D
