Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary

Subject: Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:46 pm

Post ideas or comments about it! Constructive criticism only!

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First Life: Swiftstar, Windclan leader.
Second Life: Moonsoul (Moonpaw, he died before he became a warrior.)
Third Life: Silverthorn

I
AM
Swuftuffleuffpuffleamooluffleacus

Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary Swufty

Spoiler:

Characters : Heatherpaw Number of posts : 5137 Age : 27

Swufty. . ;~; That was incredible.

I like how you hint at Marie and Aaron :P

One thing I would change is to not leave such big gaps. Well, that's how I see it in my mind, but they're more of. . time spaces? I guess. In some situations, I can understand it. But at the beginning, you could have given a few more details. Otherwise, it was fantabulous!! :3

Subject: Re: Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:56 pm

I tend to do that ;-; I leave gaps when i can't think of anything, but i make sure to connect them :P

______________________________________

First Life: Swiftstar, Windclan leader.
Second Life: Moonsoul (Moonpaw, he died before he became a warrior.)
Third Life: Silverthorn

I
AM
Swuftuffleuffpuffleamooluffleacus

Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary Swufty

Spoiler:

Subject: Re: Swufty's PJO Fanfic Commentary Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:35 pm

I LOVES IT!!! :D

it's a very great way to start out a story! You have suspense, action, and characters that make the beginning catch your attention right away. But I do agree with Rain. There are some gaps in there that might need a little fixin' up. You could also possibly describe Echidna some. Like, what is she? What can she do? Just kinda the basic stuff for readers who don't exactly know who she is, or are too lazy to look her up (like me! :P). But other than that, this is a wonderful story! Great description, imagery, and many other things!

can't wait for more!!