Acornstem's Leader Ceremony

Acornstem had been putting it off. She hadn’t wanted it - she didn’t deserve it. She was never meant to be leader. She laid curled in her nest, her back to the entrance of the leader’s den as she stared at her paws as the countless excuses she used bubbled into her mind; there was too much to focus on, she wasn’t feeling well, she needed a bit more time.

…Those were the ones she was willing to say out loud at least - the doubt that smothered her was something she was far less willing to admit. She had no doubt already disappointed her Clan - disappointed StarClan. She wasn’t leader material and she would be turned away by StarClan if she went… And yet, that single thought was also a temptation to go. To have the Stars themselves state what she already knew - to allow them to tell her who really ought to be leader…Whether it be Sageroot or another cat all together.

Of course, there were other reasons even deeper down… Being terrified to face Mottlestar. Firefly… To have them be the one who was the most disappointed in her after everything, at how quickly she had crumbled without them. But maybe, most of all… Even if all of her fears were wrong and she was to be leader… She didn’t want to lose it… Her name. It had been a name picked out with such care by Mottlestar and even the title of a leader felt lacking in return.

But enough time had finally passed and enough of her Clanmates had started to be vocal about her need to get her lives that she had given in. Tonight would be the night, she noted as she pushed herself to her paws as even if the day had barely begun, it was going to be a long trip to the Moonstone… She turned, shouldering her way out of the den and to where Echosong waited for her.

Out of the two medicine cats, she had requested his presence. He was her first real friend - who stuck with her despite the fact that she had failed to protect him as an apprentice from those Twolegs… Who always greeted her with a smile. She needed his support but also for him to hold her accountable - she… There was always the chance that she would flake out halfway through, her fears and doubts getting the better of her and having Echosong at her side would force her to see this through.

She could only give him a weak, half-faked smile as she approached - leaning down to lap up the herbs that he had set aside for her before the two left the camp. The trek was long and in silence, but that was partly Acornstem’s fault as she had no words to say as she focused on simply calming her rapidly beating heart and forcing herself forward.

Their path took them through Fourtrees, her pace slowing as she turned her attention onto the Great Rock. She could feel shame rush through her - already regretting her attitude and words at the Gathering. Stars, she had acted like a kit didn’t she…? Already she knew - the other leaders didn’t respect her, and why would they after a show like that? She was a poor substitute for how good of a leader Mottlestar had been - she wouldn’t be surprised if Perchstar wanted nothing to do with her if she did become leader…

After all, how could she compare?

Her eyes stung as she quickly turned, pressing ahead at a faster pace to get this over with. She couldn’t wait for how freeing it would be when StarClan confirmed everything she knew, that she would be a terrible leader and ThunderClan would be better with their fate in the paws of another. She could then retire - maybe take back up the nest she had shared with Firefly and wait out her days as a failure.

Or perhaps she would be even luckier and StarClan would show their distaste for her like they did a few other leaders…

Her mind swarmed with dark thoughts as she continued her path forward, soon arriving at the Thunderpath. Walking along the side of the black path was far from pleasant, the heavy stench of monsters hung in the air even during the long stretches where their walk was in peace… Before a rumble would start beneath them and she would lead Echosong a bit further away from the Thunderpath to keep out of the approaching monster’s sight before moving on as its roars faded in the distance. Such terrifying beasts… How nice it had to be for RiverClan to not share such a dangerous border with a Clan.

Keeping hidden from monsters slowed down the progress until finally they reached the point where they had to cross. Across the black path, she could see it - the entrance that would lead to the moment of truth. She could feel the doubt swell up, to find herself reconsidering everything but a glance to her side to see Echosong there reminded her why she had brought him - she would get the decision from the Stars themselves.

They would be what decided if she was to be leader or not.

With a deep breath - and no monsters in sight - she took the step onto the Thunderpath. She couldn’t help but wince the moment her paw landed on it - at how warm it felt…How unnatural it was. She quickened her pace to cross it as fast as she could, wincing every time her paw met the hard black surface before finally before them was just the straight path to Highstone.

As the mountain towered above them, Acornstem found her pawsteps faltering as her pace slowed. The gravity of the situation was starting to sink in now that she could see the darkened tunnel entrance that led to the Moonstone. That would give her the answers she wasn’t sure she wanted. In this moment, she was relieved to have Echosong at her side as she allowed him to take the lead as they reached the tunnel and slipped into the darkness.

It was concerning as the light faded behind her and there was only the sound of her and Echosong’s steps in the darkness. It had been countless moons since she had last been here as an apprentice, her whiskers twitching as she tried to rely on her memories to guide the way…But the best she could do was just follow her friend down the seemingly endless tunnel.

Finally, however, there was the light at the end of the tunnel that slowly started to illuminate Echosong’s form before the two broke free into the cavern where the Moonstone stood. It was as awe-inspiring as it had been when she was an apprentice, the mere sight of it causing her to come to a stop.

…It was time. A new wave of nervousness washed over her as she slowly forced herself forward, glancing at Echosong but she found she had nothing to say. She didn’t… She was scared - but she wasn’t certain if she was more scared of StarClan dismissing her as the future leader… Or confirming her fate to lead.

She sank to the ground, her mouth dry. She hated this - to be doubtful of what would come next, to not even know what she feared or hoped for more. Perhaps she should have been honest to Echosong about this, perhaps that would have put her at ease but it was far too late. The only cats who held the answer was StarClan themselves so with a heavy sigh, she pressed her nose against the cool rock and let the sudden slumber overtake her.

Her eyes flickered open, only to be met with a black expanse. Confusion swept over her as she turned her head back and forth, trying to get her eyes to adjust - to see if there was something she was missing - to make sense of this all. This had to be a dream, but it didn’t…It didn’t look like StarClan.

For a few heartbeats she stood there, trying to judge her own emotions as that thought washed through her. Her mouth parted, a small gasp of disbelief escaping her as her ears slicked back. She had…She had considered the fact that maybe - maybe she wouldn’t be seen worthy but she had expected at least… Not a single StarClan cat?

…Had she truly disappointed them that much?

Her eyes fell towards the ground beneath her, before she blinked in surprise. She hadn’t considered what she was standing on, but it rippled beneath her like water despite the fact it felt solid. She could see her reflection staring back at her, at the stars that dotted the surface - the sky behind her? - like she was on a river reflecting the night sky. She pressed her paw down despite the solidity of the surface beneath her and gasped as her paw broke the surface - the stars scattering from the ripples that followed.

The stars however did not just disappear from the reflection but floated up like dust picked up in the wind around her. Her gaze followed them, watching as they sparkled around her - some taking their place in the sky above while others danced on the breeze that rustled her fur. Slowly, the stars started to circle before their pace started to quicken, her eyes darting back and forth as she tried to follow them.

Cedarstalk - Acceptance
Written by Gravis

The stars swirled around Acornstem in a whirlwind before finally dispersing, leaving her standing in Starclan's glittering territory. A small crowd of the sky's residents stood around the soon-to-be-leader; their faces hard to discern among the masses. One removed himself from the throng, his fiery orange coat almost glowing from the stars shining in his fur. The tom hurried towards Acornstem, a blend of love and sadness glimmering in his amber eyes. The former warrior had been watching Acornstem closely throughout the past several moons and, seeing the struggles she had persevered through and navigated, he was certain that she was ready to lead ThunderClan.

As the stars faded from Acornstem’s sight, her heart dropped as she realized that she had been moved into StarClan’s territory - surrounded by countless StarClan cats. Her tail swished as she let her gaze sweep over them, almost fighting the disappointment that had started to swell. She had gotten her answer - if she had been turned away by the Stars, she would have expected a pawful of cats at best. This many…?

Despite everything, despite how much she didn’t feel prepared - despite not even being sure if she wanted it… She was to be leader. Her gaze dropped, taking in a deep breath before it left as a tired exhale. …Fine. Fine, if this was what they wanted - then…Fine. She would do what she could, despite everything they had torn from her. She would be their leader.

There was movement that caught her attention,  her gaze lifting to face the first cat to approach her but the brief moment of scorn faded at the familiar pelt that approached. She- she hadn’t even considered. She knew little of what went into a leader ceremony - she wasn’t even sure what getting her nine lives would entail past rumors that was always whispered about…She had never thought to ask Mottlestar of what it had been like, with the thought of her own ceremony being so far away.

But to see him? Her first apprentice - her…Her son. She had no words at the sight of Cedarstalk, her mouth simply agape as he separated from the crowd and headed towards her.

With an uncertain smile, Cedarstalk approached Acornstem, his pelt itching with nerves. It seemed like only yesterday that he'd died and said goodbye to Acornstem, his mentor and a cat he still firmly believed to be like a mother to him. He ached to press himself against her and apologize for leaving so soon, but that wasn't the reason for his seeing her today. It was an honor to be allowed to give Acornstem her first life, he didn't want to delay the ceremony any longer than it already had been. Besides...this life would be an important one - he was sure of it. More leaders should be willing to rely on their clanmates exactly like their clanmates relied on them.

"Acornstem...mom..." He meowed, eyes wet with unshed tears. "You've always been the strongest cat I've known, yet I find myself more awed by your every day." Cedarstalk's voice wavered, and he cleared his throat, desperate to say more but unsure how to tell her everything he wanted her to know. "I couldn't do the things you do, but I'm so glad for the time we had together while I was still in the forest and...I hope you'll never forget the short time that I was in your life." It wasn't fair that his life had been cut short so soon, but it had been his time, apparently. "I shouldn't have been scared to say how much you mean to me." Smiling gently, Cedarstalk stepped closer and touched his nose lightly to Acornstem's. "So, for this first life, I give you vulnerability."

Cedarstalk, with his entire being, wished he could have known to be more honest with Acornstem before it was too late. Maybe, if they had both been a little less frightened, they would have had more time together as mother and son. With a deep breath, the ginger tom continued. "I know you will be a strong, capable leader for ThunderClan and that you will care for them with everything that you have, but remember to let them care for you in turn. There is strength in weathering the storm, but even more in letting your loved ones know when you need their support." The tom's heart ached as he spoke, but he continued regardless. He'd seen Acornstem with Firefly, after his death, and was glad that she had learned to be honest with herself about her own emotions. If she wasn't, it could easily end up in a dangerous situation where she'd put too much on her shoulders.

It was cruel, though, that both he and Firefly had been taken from Acornstem so soon but, hopefully, those experiences would teach her to savor the moment and be willing to brave her fears to make the most of the time she had. "I want you to live these nine lives as happily and as fully as you can and, as much as I miss you, you'd better not join me in StarClan anytime soon. So, take care of your clan - protect them, and they will do the same for you. I believe in you, mom, and I trust in you to protect ThunderClan to the best of your ability." Purring sadly in goodbye, Cedarstalk leaned back, turned, and padded away, rejoining the starry crowd.

She couldn't help but wince as Cedarstalk called her mom - not out of shame but out of regret. That she had been too scared to tell him what he had meant to her. She had worked so hard to train him but she had failed - and she still failed. It had hurt when he had been lost to the fox, but every apprentice she had trained to gain their name followed the same path. It almost made her want to give a bitter laugh as he stated he was in awe of her - because what was there for him to be proud of? Flysnap, Littlewolf - both had followed his path. She hadn't trained them enough so they had lost their lives to predators like him.

How was she strong when she had crumbled? Every death of her Clanmates ate away at her and Mottlestar's death had been the final blow - to prove how weak she was and it...And it made this moment bitter. She didn't deserve this - to face the cats she loved so much but failed to save, to see them again and know none held it against her. It wasn't fair, she should... She wanted to keep her guilt because it was what she felt like she deserved. Her gaze however was drawn forward as he pressed his nose to hers and named what was to be the first of her lives - vulnerability.

It caught her off guard, her mouth opening to almost ask in a breathless laugh if that was a good thing before her whole body seized. Fear sparked in her eyes as the wind that had brought her to this place returned but this time, it started to lash at her pelt. Her fur whipped uncomfortably in the silent windstorm that only affected her, her claws digging into the ground as if afraid the wind had the strength to carry her upwards. Despite the fear and the pain of the wind lashing against her, she could hear Cedarstalk's following words with absolute clarity - that there was strength to withstand the storm.

Her eyes stared into his before she closed them, taking his words to heart as she braced herself. The wind struck at her, almost being mistaken for claws the way it raked at her pelt until finally it started to die down and she felt not just physically raw...But emotionally, as if all of the fears, doubts and self-hatred that she had been carrying this last moon was laid bare for the stars to see. She barely kept herself from letting out a sob, forcing it down with a swallow and gasping breath before her eyes flickered open to stare at her adopted son once more.

She could only manage a mute nod as he asked her to live her lives to the fullest, still reeling but a shocked, sad gasp escaped her as he started to pull away. "Cedarstalk, wait-" she finally managed, her voice cracking as if she had sobbed and screamed herself raw. She- she had only gotten to see him again! She couldn't wait - she didn't want... She didn't want to say goodbye again, or at least... "I love you, son," she called out for him - unwilling to leave those words unsaid as he disappeared into the crowd and she was forced to raise a paw to scrub at her eyes and prepare for whatever would come next.

Gingerroot - Mindfulness
Written by Byrin

In the starry clearing, surrounding the future of ThunderClan, sat a broad tom with deep amber eyes. His pelt, the color of wheat in the sun, had the softest glow to it. The tomcat gave a respectful nod to Acornstem, now face to face.

"I am a warrior of ThunderClan, whose paws last touched the undergrowth when the stars dimmed, leaving a war spanning horizons and worlds. Call me Gingerroot."

She had barely managed to pull herself together by the time the next cat had arrived, clear surprise flashing over her face to suddenly be met by a cat she didn’t know. She hadn’t been expecting that - so many cats she knew had died and… And she glanced past the tom, trying to see if there was anybody she could make out - surely mother had to be here…?

Her attention however was drawn back as he introduced himself - he was a ThunderClan cat at least, though the name he offered wasn’t familiar to her in the slightest and she couldn’t help but wonder why he was here but she held her tongue as he continued on.

"Unlike many brave cats, I lived a long life. The battlefield didn't send me to the elder's den. Time did."

His jaw clenched as his eyes darted to the side.

"Though I was given the gift of many moons, the gift was lost on me. I spent so many sunrises, moons, seasons, all wrapped in the worry of what should I be doing, or what should my purpose be."

The life I give you is the one I wasted– absorb every speck of sun in your pelt, breathe in the air dew makes. Be present."

"With this life, I give you mindfulness. May you use this to be fully aware of yourself, of every day, and the joy of knowing each cat in ThunderClan."

She listened carefully, knowing how rare a cat like he was. So many cats had lived within ThunderClan and yet their elder’s den only held a single cat at the moment… Blazefang had retired partly to age but she…She could only imagine - she liked having her paws busy. The fact that she had been hiding in her den the last moon had eaten away at her, even if she didn’t have the energy to do anything other than rot in her own pity.

Her ears fell flat as he revealed his life - to change that. She could feel the regret and shame already rising within her as they touched noises - but those feelings were almost quickly smothered by a heavy weight that fell upon her. It was cold - like the bitterest leaf-bare night that quickly started to sap her strength. It was familiar… As it was what had been eating away at her for the last moon but worse.

What could very much be - what she had hoped her life would be if the Stars had chosen another to lead in her place…What she felt like she deserved. But now, to be faced with the weight of it - the chill that drained her strength… She didn’t want this even as the energy to object was fading. Beneath the heaviness was a flicker of fear, that this darkness would consume her before warmth suddenly fell upon her head.

It was like… It was like stepping into a sunbeam as she wanted to lift her face to take in the cascading warmth as it started to seep across her body, chasing away the draining coldness and replacing it with a gentle warmth. A warmth so pleasant and comforting, she wondered why she had even considered anything else. Slowly, that too started to fade until she was as she was before, yet a little freer as Gingerroot stepped back and she watched him go with a gentle smile.

Lionspark - Insight
Written by Badger

Among the crowd was a fluffy yellow tabby, her blue eyes soft as she watched the small leader before her go through the pain of gaining lives. Pity for the poor she-cat that was clearly out of her depths, that didn’t want this. Sorrow for the reflection of herself that she saw - the wide-eyed idealize that had been so cruelly snuffed out by the world. Sympathy for how alone she had to feel under the weight of everything the Stars were forcing upon her.

This was all something she had never experienced herself of course but she could imagine the trauma all the same. The scars that still lined her face was proof that she had her own share of misery - misery she had chosen not to forget and wipe away with the second chance StarClan had given her. The scars that ran across one of her eyes - that had stolen her vision in life - had been the price she had paid to learn the harsh reality… A reality she could only hope would escape Acornstem.

She lifted her head as she realized she was the next in line, pushing herself to her paws with a soft sigh as she left her spot among the crowd to approach the still reeling leader. “Greetings,” she meowed, trying to keep her voice light but the pity was obvious in both her tones and in her stare. “My name is Lionspark - a warrior from ThunderClan’s distant past. Or rather… An elder.”

Acornstem blinked as at the sight of the next life-giver, a gentle looking she-cat whose face was scarred by four…Well scars - from a fellow warrior by the size of it. Both eyes were bright, sparkling with starlight and… Her heart sank at the obvious pity that the older she-cat held for her as she spoke and introduced herself as Lionspark. The ‘elder’ remark however caught her off guard - she was older, yes but not by much truth be told. Acornstem could only assume that she had not shared Gingerroot’s luck - that the scars that adorned her face had sent her to the elder’s den as seemed the fate of most elders.

“I see much of myself in you,” Lionspark continued, taking a seat as she flashed Acornstem a pained smile. “The same romantic notices, the wide-eyed idealism…And seen how they were so cruelly snuffed out. But, even then…You do not know my pain,” she admitted, before she straightened up. “I loved the wrong cat, I refused to see his faults even when they were clear and others tried to warn me. I only saw the truth when his teeth were at my throat and his claws across my face. I took his life to save my own, but he might as well have killed me that day for the shell that I became.

“And so, I give you the life of Insight. Every cat wants something - some honestly will seek your friendship, others will seek it for the power you wield. They will prey on whatever opening they see - to use or destroy you. I give you this life in hopes that you will not be blindsighted - you will see cats for who they are, so you can more openly give love to those who will do good for you and keep at length those who would do you ill. To know whose words to trust, and those who will lead you astray,” she meowed, leaning forward to touch noses before her voice cracked.

“Be better than me,” she pleaded.

Acornstem’s heart sank as Lionspark revealed her story, the acknowledgement that the two were much the same and she…She could see it. Acornstem was a romantic - she would daydream over what she thought the perfect cat for her would be until Firefly had bested her in a spar and in time, replaced that imagined cat in her head. …But what if it had been somebody else? Or if Firefly had been less caring - more bloodthirsty. Would Acornstem have seen it? Believed it? She could have easily made the same mistake of Lionspark but even then…She couldn’t imagine her pain.

That was until they touched noses.

At the earnest plea from the warrior, Acornstem’s mouth opened to reply but it was cut off by what felt like claws across her face - her right eye. Emotions crashed over her - realization, shame. 'Bramblefrost would leave you to rot...Would trade your life for a mouse.' The words rang through her head, she didn’t recognize them - she didn’t know who Bramblefrost was but she…She had a feeling she did. She could feel it, the chilling realization that she had been wrong. She had been a fool to deny their warnings.

The brief temptation to give in started to rise within her, to do nothing in the wake of what was happening. That she was a failure - not just for this, but for the other deaths she felt on her paws. The option to crumble with the reality she had thought she knew was so tantalizing, even as guilt over the thought prickled her pelt. With every dark thought, the pain was increasing - other injuries, not fresh but old that she had never gotten treated. A pounding in her head - like somebody had stomped on her.

Her mind was swimming but despite all of the pain, it was the blossoming pain in her eye that thrummed with her rapid heartbeat. A fragment of herself -  her real self, not marred by the past feelings of Lionspark, reminded her of the warrior’s words. To be better - not just than Lionspark but in general. Her mistakes, they were in the past and she found the feeling lining up with that of life - she had made stupid choices yes, but would she allow herself to lay down and die here when that would just be another stupid choice?

As both the life’s memory and Acornstem came to an agreement, the pain suddenly vanished and she was sent reeling forward as the warrior stepped back. Lionspark’s expression was sad, full of regret for forcing her darkness moment onto the future leader but it was a lesson better learned through the pain of a Star’s memory than in the waking world. “Use this Insight well, Acornstem - be aware of the intentions of others…But also of yourself. Be better - than both myself and of your past self.”

With that, Lionspark leaned forward to give the leader a lick on the head as an apology before she turned and headed back to the crowd.

Branchlight - Confidence
Written by Badger

Among the crowd sat a fluffy white and brown she-cat, her expression a mix of sadness and pride for the leader that stood before her. She knew Acornstem well - or perhaps, not as well as she wished despite being her mother. A soft sigh escaped the she-cat as the golden tabby form of Lionspark returned to the crowd - a signal that it was her turn.

Branchlight pushed herself to her paws, stepping forward with a nervous swish of her tail. How would Acornstem react upon seeing her…? She could not claim to be the best mother, thought she had tried her best despite everything. It had been hard to tend to an energetic kit when an illness during the pregnancy had sapped her strength and left her always exhausted even long after the illness had disappeared.

But the simple acknowledgement that she had tried her best would mean little to the one with the absent parent… Still, she put on a smile as she broke free from the crowd of StarClan cats to see her daughter standing before her. “Oh my baby girl…” she purred with a soft sigh. “To see you all grown up is such a blessing… But I wish this burden was not yours to bear.”

After two cats that she hadn’t recognized, Acornstem wasn’t sure what to expect of the next life-giver…But a sad gasp escaped her as an all-too familiar pelt stepped from the crowd and she found herself staring at her mother again after all of these moons. It…It had been hard - Branchlight had died shortly into her warriorship from an illness that she hadn’t the strength to fight…

While Branchlight might have expected some resentment, there was none to be found in Acornstem for she knew the struggles her mother had faced. Perhaps she did not understand it as a kit, why her mother rarely left her nest and could only play with her for short bursts but she also knew that her mother had so earnestly tried to be there when she could. That she would let Acornstem climb all over her despite wanting to sleep, tell her stories even when she didn’t have the strength to lift her head…

A mother who gave everything she could to make her daughter happy even when she had not the energy or strength to spare. “Mother!” she cried out, taking a step forward before there was a heartbeat of hesitation - was it proper for her step from her place to cuddle with her mother, even for the briefest of moments? “I-I’ve missed you so much. It hasn’t been easy but…”

A surge of hope and relief struck Branchlight as Acornstem clearly held no hurt feelings, knowing it would make what would come next all the more easier. “I know, my darling,” she murmured as she took a step forward, pressing her forehead against Acornstem’s with a purr. “Nothing is easy, not in life. You can only press forward… And so,” she shifted her head to touch noses with her daughter, smiling softly.

“With this life, I give you confidence. To have faith in your actions. That not only are they the right ones, but what you are doing is enough. As your mother, I did not have the strength or energy to be there for you like I should…But with what little I  did have, I did my best with the hope that it was enough. Let you have confidence in yourself like that - that as little as you might be able to do, those who you are trying to reach will know it's your best.”

After the unexpected pain that had come from her previous life, Acornstem was nervous as she touched noses with her mom. The nervousness soon blossomed into fear and doubt - the type that was crippling as her body locked up and her heart started to rapidly beat in her chest. This was only her fourth life but already she was feeling unprepared for everything.

Would she be a good enough leader? Or would her every attempt to do good just reveal how big of a disappointment she was? Her eyes darted back and forth - staring past her mom at the crowd of StarClan cats who were watching, waiting…And judging. Would anything she do be good enough for them? She couldn’t imagine living up to Mottlestar’s memory - she already knew Perchstar must be reconsidering their alliance now that she was ThunderClan’s leader…

But as her eyes fell back onto her mother, she felt a surge of peace flood through her. Remembering her kithood, of her clambering on her mother’s exhausted form in her own form of play when her mother could offer nothing else. Laying against her mom’s form, listening to Branchlight tell stories in a soft, droning voice as she tried to keep herself awake enough to finish them. A mother who had not been a dutiful, active mother… But a mother who had done her best and Acornstem had known it, even as a kit.

That if she, as a kit who knew no better, could understand a cat doing what little they could - as long as it was the best they could do - was the best mother in the world… Then perhaps, just perhaps she would be a suitable leader as long as she did her best. As the hopeful energy swelled within her, she blinked - realizing that the doubt, the fear…That had been the life as her mother stepped back.

Branchlight smiled sweetly at her daughter as she pulled back, a gentle purr escaping her. “You’ve made me proud, Acornstem - and know that I’ll continue watching you from the Stars in the company of the other family you’ve made.” With that, she dipped her head and turned to return to the crowd, leaving her daughter one final time.

Beartooth - Acceptance
Written by Ripped

From the ethereal background of Starclan came a sandy tabby whose dull coat speckled with otherworldly light. His pale green eyes were kind but sad, swirling with emotions rekindled by the experience of attending a leader ceremony. Each pawstep pressed down the celestial grass with giant, splayed toes. Extra claws adorned each one of his pads, which was obvious despite being carefully sheathed. From the tom’s neutral expression protruded oversized fangs. In all ways, Beartooth was an imposing presence despite his gentle soul.

Having always been a warrior of action over speech, he simply regarded the new leader with sympathetic eyes for several moments. Being among Starclan ranks made the former Thunderclan cat generally aware of the events that happened in the forest he had left behind. Beartooth knew the pain of losing cats closest to him; both a mate and several of his kits. Little swam in his head in terms of comforting words but just a quiet recognition of the ache of loss. There was no doubt in the tom’s mind what he was here to bestow upon Acornstem. What few words he would say fell easily from his tongue.

“I am Beartooth. You understand pain like I do.” Beartooth rumbled, his voice soft but rasping in nature. Another Starclan cat had reminded him ahead of time of the formality of sharing his own name or he would have left that out in the process. His gaze was unwavering as he addressed her, “I give you the gift of Acceptance. It will guide your paws through uncertain times to keep moving forward.” Dipping his head, the warrior touched his nose to hers, instantly inciting a surge of unbearable agony. Any cat would have immediately pulled away wanting to distance themself from such a sensation but it was leaning into the feeling that finally caused it to ebb.

Still somewhat shocked by the appearance of her mother, Acornstem had no idea what to think of the next cat who approached…Another cat she wasn’t familiar with. Her eyes widened at the sight of him - his large, extra clawed paws and the fangs that adorned his face. He was large - a size that only stood out more against the small leader.

She ducked her head a little, her expression guarded as he approached as she tried to figure out what he would say - how she was to react. The faded scent of ThunderClan rolled off of him and he soon introduced himself as Beartooth and noted that they both knew pain. That caused her ears to prickle, head raising as he continued on to simply name the life given - Acceptance.

There was no preparing for how quick the wave of pain came, being the instance their noses had touched. Her tail puffed out, spasming behind her as her whole body jerked at the agony that rushed through her like crashing waves. Her mouth parted - perhaps to scream, maybe in an attempt to breathe but it failed as air simply refused to pass through her throat in any direction.

Her body screamed at her to pull away - that surely Beartooth was the cause (and he technically was) but her body refused to budge and it was like the simple thought caused the pain to somehow increase. It was lucky she couldn’t manage a scream as it would have been a heart-wrenching thing before finally amidst the agonizing pain, a simple word struck her.

‘Acceptance.’

Of course, that was it. Even as she managed to recognize the answer, her body rebelled at the thought. To lean into the pain, to accept it was… Her instincts screamed instead to pull away - to escape even if she couldn’t move her body. It took effort to fight it, before finally her body did respond to her commands - raising a paw and planting it forward as she pressed herself slightly more against Beartooth’s nose… And the pain suddenly faded as fast as it had come, leaving her panting as her tail continued to spasm a bit behind her as an after-effect.

As the feeling subsided, Beartooth pulled away and dipped his head to the she-cat, “Lead them well.”

Vipershade - Adversity
Written by Grey

Now it was Vipershade’s turn to step forwards, his usual haunted look still adorned his face as if some cats were still tormenting him up in Starclan. Calmly, and with mild disgust, Vipershade looked down at Acornstem as he sized her up.

“I did not get a chance to know you, but every little fiber of your being screams to me like you are a coward. If I had still been leader I would not hesitate to trample over you with everything I had. Cowards are remarkably easy to take advantage of, so if you want to ever hope that you won’t be? Grow a foxing spine.” Vipershade snarled, advancing on the small she-cat.

To see Vipershade among the Stars…She hadn’t expected it - not that she hadn’t thought he would make it to StarClan… Alright maybe that was a bit of a surprise but instead the fact that he was here for her that mostly shocked her to her core. The first few words from his mouth was the very reason for her shock - what words had they shared past her having to assign him to patrols? His final Gathering as leader had been her first as deputy. She obviously knew his actions rather well - one had gotten her struck by lightning and with the war on the horizon at the time…It had hardly felt proper to try to get to know him…But then he was gone.

If anything, it made his words sting even more because she knew he was right - it was the very thing she had acknowledged at her weakest link as deputy. They barely knew each other but he could see her for what she was so clearly. She was a coward, she couldn’t imagine herself doing anything that was needed as a leader and it was why she had been begging - hoping - that StarClan would turn her away. Not see her fit to bear the mantle of leadership. She winced as he advanced, trying to steel herself but her eyes still shone with the pain of how deeply his words had struck even after multiple lives had already been received.

“You must fight, and you must never stop fighting. Such is the life of a leader. Because no matter what good you do or how much, your clanmates will always be counting your sins.” He stepped forwards and pressed his nose to her forehead. “With this life, I give you adversity, use it to carry you forwards in your leadership journey.”

As his nose brushed her fur, she almost doubled over as it felt like a paw struck her straight in the gut. It had come out of nowhere and she could barely brace herself before another invisible blow struck her in the side, then across her muzzle, then her leg, then…Everywhere. She was being battered by every side, as if the ghosts of StarClan were striking at her. She grimaced - her body aching but it wasn’t too bad…

Until claws sank into her haunch. She would have yelped in pain but her mouth didn’t hope, her voice didn’t work and only a whimper managed to be free. Soon, every blow that had been raining upon her was now with claws as she wavered beneath the weight of it all. It hurt, her legs quivered but she didn’t collapse - her legs refusing to bulge by no will of hers. So she was forced to withstand the rising tide  until she feared she could withstand no more… And then it was over and she was left with only the lingering pain that left her panting for breath.

Once he was sure Acornstem was dealing with it the older tom turned on his paws and merged back into the crowd, sitting rather close to a mottled she-cat.

Pricklebush - Justice
Written by Ash

Out of the starry crowd emerged another cat that Acornstem had never seen before, despite his appearance to most of ThunderClan’s other high ranks. Mottlestar’s life-giver. Echosong’s star-guide. Long ago, he’d held a rank of his own as medicine cat... and that seemed to be why StarClan trusted him to continue speaking with the living cats. Well, that was the best mistake that they’d ever made. They’d given him permission to speak and he certainly wasn’t going to stop now.

The tom was large, easily twice Acornstem’s size, with tall pointy ears and ruffled, spiky fur. His pelt was a cream tan color, studded throughout with bright stars, and his narrow sage-green eyes inspected the deputy closely. It was as if he peered into her soul. He huffed and twitched an ear before speaking. ”All right. I’m just glad it’s you and not that Darkspirit fellow. Definitely this could be a lot worse.” His thick, bushy tail lashed behind him. ”My name’s Pricklebush. I used to be the medicine cat of ThunderClan, way back when. I’ve given lives to Mottlestar and Stoatstar before you, and apparently the stars haven’t learned their lesson because I’m back again. I’ll keep doing this until the stars wear off my pelt.”

Acornstem’s expression shifted as the next cat stepped forward - a large tom with spiky fur…Nearly the complete opposite than her, being small in frame with rounded edges. His eyes were sharp, judging her and her ears slicked back as she could only assume that he hated what he saw - why wouldn’t he? She grimaced, partly from the lingering pain of Vipershade’s life but also to brace for the sharp words that were likely to come… Only to blink in surprise as he admitted his preference of her rather than Darkspirit which caught her off guard. She…She tried not to think of what could have been, mostly since he had died, but surely he was better leader material than her? She was weak, pitiful, a coward! Vipershade had just said as much... What good could she do…?

Careful, calculating, his eyes surveyed Acornstem’s face again. Why did the cats who came to him always have such empty gazes? Why did their shoulders slump, why did they always come after a disaster? When was the last time that ThunderClan had had a peaceful transfer of power? Pricklebush sighed. Then, slowly, he raised one large paw and placed it on top of the little she-cat’s head. ”Don’t be too hard on yourself. That’s got to be the first lesson you take into leadership--if you spend the whole time feeling sorry for your problems and beating yourself up with guilt, then you’re not gonna have time to look after your Clan. Take care of yourself, and allow friends to take care of you so that you can take care of your Clanmates. Got it?” He ruffled the fur on her head, then went back to standing over her, though his imposing air and grumpy tone was ruined a little bit by the friendly gesture he’d done. ”That’s not the life I’m giving you, that’s just free advice. You’re lucky to get some so you’d better take it to heart, hear me?”

Stars. First Mottlestar, now Acornstem. These tiny she-cats kept being placed into positions of power, with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Just like Mossbloom and Mistlebright. But just like they’d done well, Mottlestar had come into her own, and the fire that had burned in her eyes made him prouder than anything. Hopefully Acornstem could find a similar spark within her. The life he gave would be a harder sell to the peace-loving deputy, he knew, but... Mottlestar loved peace too. Finishing a battle when you hadn’t started it, or even choosing to start a battle, had nothing to do with loving violence.

After the long silence and his sigh, she winced as he raised his paw - as slowly as it was - before she blinked as he felt it gently plop onto her head. He spoke, trying to comfort her which caught her even more off guard. By a glance, she would assume he wouldn’t be so kind as she stared at him. His words however did cause her pelt to prickle with guilt, her body hot with shame because it already felt too late. She had hidden herself away since Mottlestar’s death - barely sleeping, barely eating. She came out for ceremonies and the rare moments her mood was high but that was… It was rare. What grand leadership she had started out with…?

A further question on why StarClan was even allowing this. Her brief doubt however was squished by the further confusion of him ruffling her head before he returned to being gruff - noting that all that had been was free advice. She meekly nodded her head, ears slicked back. “I…I understand, sir,” she managed, though she wasn’t sure how well she would follow through. Everything, it felt so… Overwhelming. But she couldn’t help but think of the lives she had already gotten, what she had been told and she…She had to try. She had to be better.

”It feels like just a moon ago I gave a life to Mottlestar, but the life I gave her was relevant up to her untimely death--and it’s relevant now. So I’m gonna give you the same one. It’s not because I’m unoriginal; this is just something that you more than anyone else need to understand.” Here Pricklebush leaned down slightly, so that he and Acornstem were eye to eye. Green sharpness looked into her yellow-orange gaze. ”I give you the life of justice. Note that this is not the life of bloodthirst, or warmongering, but neither is it the life of mercy or anything wishy-washy like that. Justice does not always mean battle--but you must understand that not every conflict can be solved with smiles and flowers and sunshine. Some cats will kill, and will kill again if you let them. Cats like that mongrel who killed Softpaw.” He wasn’t allowed to name the tom, even though Mottlestar had known who it was. The StarClan tom spat to the side before continuing. ”You can’t just turn a blind eye to these things because you want peace. As a leader, you need to make the tough choices. Do you let cats die and do nothing, inviting more violence? Or do you step up to pitch a single battle, but ensure that way that no one can freely murder your Clanmates like fresh-kill ever again?”

Pricklebush kept anger from his voice; he knew it would not help in this case, not like Stoatfur who’d needed his life beaten into him and even then hadn’t understood it. Harshness would not work with Acornstem. But he refused to speak softly. His words were firm, though not rough. ”I know you think poorly of Mottlestar, and even more poorly of yourself, for ’letting’ the battle happen. But stop. All right? Mottlestar chose to avenge her lost life, the life of Softpaw, and the life of Cloverheart. She chose to stand up to wrong-doing and make a stand for what was right. And even though it ended in her death at the fangs of that murderer, that hypocrite, it still ended. Mottlestar achieved her goal. And sometimes that is what it takes.” He shook his head, letting out a quiet huff. It wouldn’t do to snarl and rave about happenings long-gone, as furious as he still was about the injustice. ”Do you understand, Acornstem? Doing what is right does not mean doing what is easy. Letting others walk over you, walk over ThunderClan, is easy. It means that you get to prance around and pretend that the deaths and disasters that naturally follow aren’t on your conscience. But they will be if you do nothing to avenge them. Justice means doing what is right. Sometimes that is smiling at your allies. Sometimes, that is using your words and diplomacy to receive a compromise. But when words fail... then you must use tooth and claw. Do not let them get away with harming your Clanmates.” It would be a hard sell for Acornstem, he knew. But she had to understand. It was crucial. He leaned in even closer, breath hot on her face. ”This is your duty as a leader. You cannot run from it, you cannot hide from it if you have this power. You must stand up for them. Fight for them. Fight for yourself. Fight for justice.”

With a quick movement, hunched nearly halfway over by now, Pricklebush touched his nose to Acornstem’s. It came so suddenly - a choking gasp escaping Acornstem as she felt a searing pain in her neck. She could imagine the blood dripping free, staring the enemy in the face - a claw had gotten a lucky blow and torn open her throat. Was it an accident? Was it on purpose? It didn’t matter, it didn’t settle the agony she was in - the fear racing through her body. She wanted to reel forward, to gag and attempt to breathe but the soft pressure of Pricklebush’s nose kept her frozen in place. Any breath she tried to come was drowned by the rising blood in her throat, the terrifying acknowledgement that she wouldn’t survive this building with it. Despite this not being the first life she had gotten, her mind struggled to remind herself that it wasn’t real.

Finally however, the pain started to ebb and she managed to breathe - the simple action aching despite the fact that she didn’t technically have to breathe in the star-lit plain. It had been like she was murdered…And she managed that was the story the pain was trying to tell. A life torn away in a border patrol scuffle - a death that could have been an accident for all she knew…But it had hardly mattered in that moment. The fear she had felt, the pain… Over and over she had tried to excuse Sunfire’s actions against ThunderClan - Softpaw had died by being thrown into a rock. An accident. …That didn’t change her fate, did it? The fear she must have felt, even if she had even a moment to realize what was about to happen…

Justice. The excuses she had made for what SkyClan had done against ThunderClan hadn’t solved anything. It hadn’t brought justice for those who had lost their lives, it didn’t change their fate or make her feel better. It only made her feel worse. She…She knew what Pricklebrush wanted of her but still the idea terrified her but there was also the acknowledgement she could accept with his words - that Mottlestar had sought her justice despite the price it had paid. And now she had to find what it meant to seek hers.

Pricklebush stepped back, allowing Acornstem a brief moment to recover from the pain of the life. Then he offered her a nod of respect--in the hopes that she would earn it. He liked kind cats as much as the next, but ThunderClan did not need a weak leader right now. They needed strength. They needed justice. ”Well, that’s it from me. I’d stand here and ramble all the time if they let me--but I guess these other mouse-brains need their time, too. Though... not all of them are mouse-brains.” For the first time during this whole interaction, Pricklebush’s face softened as he glanced back at the cat who would step up next. ”Go for it. I’m sure she’ll be much happier to see you than me. Always upstaging me, aren’t you? In life and in death.” He was joking, though, and he offered the cat--Mottlestar--a soft bap on the shoulder with his large paw. Then he retreated into the starry crowd, fading from sight... but not fading completely. He would be watching over Echosong still, and watching the rest of the ceremony, and watching over ThunderClan. He would watch over his Clan for as long as he still walked these starry plains.

Mottlestar - Delegation
Written by Kitty

The tortoiseshell in question had been waiting patiently amongst the crowd, a myriad of emotions prickling through her now star-studded paws. Anxiety that she hadn’t been able to best prepare her successor had nearly threatened to make her beg the Greater Stars to not have her bestow the mantle of giving a life. Guilt that followed in its wake that she hadn’t been able to do more for Thunderclan, hadn’t been able to say goodbye to all of those that she wanted to wasn’t far behind. Even more was the excitement and fear that came that she felt on behalf of the bushy-tailed molly that now had survived the trials of seven lives. Seven lifetimes. More than Mottlestar herself had truly gotten to live through, but had received all the same. The only thing that had kept her grounded were the two cats that she had been between, one of which having been the tom that had just come forward to bestow upon Acornstem her most recent life.

As soon as Pricklebush had tossed his glance back to her, she knew it was her cue. A deep breath, and a quick wink to the cat that was still at her side. So much more vibrancy and life now filled her than ever had during her final moments… than had for several moons prior to her untimely departure. Even on all four paws she was still thoroughly hidden in the crowd, and it wasn’t until she had fully come out of it that she could be seen. The small, motherly tortoiseshell figure who stood with her chin held high, and her tail straight into the air as she practically hopped forward on paws that seemed to float on a platform of joy. Her whiskers twitched with the snicker that came from the prickly tom’s quip in her direction, and she couldn’t help but stick her tongue out at him. ”Look, when you're given nine lives and have to use your personality to make up for what you lack in size, you're gonna steal the show. You gotta watch out for the little ones!" Her body had turned, almost defiantly, towards the large tom as he slipped into the crowd, but the kinship was still there. A gentle laugh, one that twinkled with the very stars that she was now imbued with, rang across the starlit plain before she once more turned to behold the sight of her successor.

The gaze that had left the world a flaming amber met with that of even deeper honey. She regaled the acorn-toned leader with the look that she had probably seen countless times: that of a caring mother who shared in the pain that undoubtedly had coursed beneath both of their pelts. Though endless energy now carried itself beneath her tortoiseshell fur, the exhaustion of what had been done and left undone between the both of them was clear on her face. With the weak smile on her maw, she allowed herself the moment of silence to simply be. To look upon the molly she had left to lead Thunderclan…

…and it was only a heartbeat later that the tortoiseshell broke down in tears of her own. ”Fate is a cruel, cruel fox… and I am so sorry to have failed you, Acornstem.” Though her head now hung in apology, it did not stop her from closing the distance between the two of them. Should the budding leader allow it, Mottlestar craned her head upwards to be able to fully embrace her successor, her head resting against the top of her shoulders. ”This war was not supposed to take me. It took five lives at once… but there are so many things I’ve learned. So many things I wish I could have prepared you for…” Once she would finally pull away, or take another step back if Acornstem had not wished to embrace with the former leader, she shook her head. ”…But we can only prepare for the future, right?”

Once more, that weak smile returned, even as tears had ran down her cheeks. Tears of regret, pain, sorrow, guilt… all those negative emotions once more tumbling around and causing a ruckus inside her chest. ”I chose you as my deputy because Thunderclan needs a strong heart. The roots of trees are the heart of the tree itself, and without it, it’d always topple over.” Her choice of Acornstem had been so, so different from those that had come before her. Darkspirit had been Mottlestar’s near-complete opposite. Thistlemask, though kind to the tortoiseshell molly, had not had the same gentleness that she had borne her entire life until the very end. With the tilt of her head, the playfulness of the mother that had been around many kits flashed in her eyes for just a moment. ”That, and squirrels have always been my favorite.” But, of course, why was she bothering to go into this?

”I’m sure most of the cats here have given you lives based on what they embodied. My own mother gave me the life of love. Because… yes. Apparently I needed it. But for you, Acornstem… I want to give you the life that you’ll need. The life where I failed Thunderclan. Failed you. I… I can’t change fate and teach you the things I wish I had time to do so, or advise you as we both had hoped. But what I can do is give you the gift of the biggest lesson I learned so you don’t stumble in the same way that I did.” With each word, she seemed to settle more onto her hind legs, standing taller. It was the regality of a leader that now settled onto her, a molly that had grown comfortable in her role as leader. It bore many, many marks of pain, but even as only a few scars now marked her tortoiseshell pelt, she knew her successor had seen the invisible wounds, too. ”You will fall. And stumble. Perfection is simply impossible in a leader, and the mantle you wear is heavy. The first two lives I lost were to my very heart failing me because I loved too deeply. But don’t shield your heart from them, Acorn… that is what they need the most.”

Once more closing the distance, Mottlestar took a breath as she prepared the life she was to give. The stars in the darker patches of her pelt seemed to twinkle brighter, just for a moment. ”With this life, I wish to teach you from my most grievous mistake, and I give you the life of delegation. Though you join the ranks of those who have a unique burden to bear, it is not yours and yours alone to handle. You prepare your Clanmates to weather any storm by giving them pieces of the weight to hold. Your Clan will trust you, for they know where to support you, and you will be able to be a better leader for they will ensure you do not suffocate. To share the weight of it all does not mean to fail, Acornstem. You have thrived in the role by reaching out to every single one of your Clanmates to know how they feel.” Respect shone in her eyes as she spoke. ”Share how you feel and let them know how you need them, and you will be unstoppable.”

Finally, and rising onto her hind legs, her flecked nose buried itself into the plush fur of her once-deputy, now succeeding leader. ”Let all the strength of the bracken and bramble become your crown.” She whispered. A gift from former leader to the one who would now bear the crown she had done so, and she closed her eyes as the glow that had come to her pelt faded away as the life was blessed upon the brown molly.

Acornstem's gaze had fallen to her paws as Pricklebush had left, to quietly weigh the choices and words she had already spoken the last moon. Had she made a mistake in forgiving SkyClan so easily despite the fact that they had also lost a leader? Sunfire had not been punished after all - he who had claimed three ThunderClan lives... If he dared to take another one, whose fault would it be...? Then there was how she was to handle the matter with Perchstar - Perchstar who certainly didn't think highly of her after the Gathering. Who would? She had been an idiot with how she had handled the situation, acting like a kit. So caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't put a thought towards who was next in her ceremony until a familiar voice - thought not directed at her - caught her ear.

Her head shot up as her ears slicked back, fighting the urge to take a small step back as she saw her - Mottlestar. Her chest was in her throat as she took in the sight of the previous leader, all of the fear and shame she had been feeling the last moon washing over her. She hadn't wanted to face her, to let Mottlestar see how much she was already disappointing her. The laugh that ended Mottlestar's words - a parting shot towards Pricklebush - however stirred her spirits. This wasn't... This wasn't the Mottlestar that she had last seen - the war general who had marched out with her Clan at her back, who had forsaken Acornstem and left her alone.

No, as the leader turned to meet her gaze, Acornstem couldn't help but straighten up with a whimper of relief. It was her - Mottlestar, the mother figure who had meant the world to her. The cat who had been there for her through thick and thin, who had helped her learn her boundaries and take a step back when she needed it. The cat she had feared she would never see again following SkyClan's betrayal. ...She hadn't been expecting the smaller leader's expression to suddenly crack, to lament how cruel fate had been and how she had failed her.

Acornstem's mouth parted to object - that she had failed Mottlestar in her cowardice but no words came out as the two met and the she-cat happily accepted Mottlestar's embrace as she pressed her face against the leader's fur and drank in her scent like how a kit would seek the milk of their mother. Her eyes widened however as Mottlestar confirmed the truth - five lives had been taken from her. She had known, she was certain that the leader had not been on her final one but then to gain a wound so badly to take multiple...? ...Whatever pity she had for Birdstar's death, she couldn't deny that a fraction of it died with that bitter truth.

She hated when Mottlestar pulled away, being forced to restrain herself from chasing the comforting embrace. She was not a kit desperate for a mother's comfort but a leader gaining her lives... But she also couldn't deny how much of a mother Mottlestar had been to her when Branchlight had passed away - how much more of a mother she had been in general, even if Branchlight had done her best in the wake of her illness - and how much she missed the comfort of another in the last moon. And so she forced all of her kitish desperation down, mirroring the weak smile as Mottlestar started to speak - words that were all too familiar. She had asked once, early in her deputyship why she had been chosen and remembered the answer fondly - an echo of the words being spoken now... Even the ending was the same, a small startled laugh escaping her.

"Don't you know squirrels eat poor little Acorns like me?" she meowed softly in a bittersweet tone, recalling her own teasing response at the squirrel remark. The brief honest smile that followed the words however quickly faded as Mottlestar was forced to continue on - a reminder of why they were here…

The brief honest smile that followed the words however quickly faded as Mottlestar was forced to continue on - a reminder of why they were here…

She listened, even as she once again fought against the desire to argue against Mottlestar on the remarks of failure - she didn't feel that way, not at all! But she held her tongue, staring at her with a sad gaze as the leader went on to explain, to point that not all leadership was perfect. It was a bitter truth, to know she would fail but...She had already failed already - there was some relief to be told by the cat she looked up to the most that it wasn't the end and she would just be expected to carry forward.

She tried to straighten up as Mottlestar closed the distance, explaining the life to be given. To share the burden that was on her. ...It was where Mottlestar had failed in the end, hadn't it? The realization struck her like a splash of cold water - recalling the fear that had weighed her down in the fear that when the leader had shut her out, it had been a sign that she was no longer fit to be deputy - that her contuined appointment was just until the war was over.

The two's duty had been so apart - Acornstem so set on what was to be done by her and by Mottlestar, she knew not how to handle herself. What to do, what to think - it had been a system that had worked for moons... But had not prepared her for leadership as she had worked so hard to keep her duties separate. Meanwhile, she had worked so hard to branch out to her Clanmates as deputy... Only to shut them out as the mantle of leadership had fallen upon her.

...She had to be better.

That was that this was all about, wasn't it? The lives - not just so she could protect her Clanmates in ways that other cats would only get a single chance at... But to point out where she was to improve to be the best leader she could be.

She could be better.

After the turmoil of her most recent received lives, Acornstem had already started to brace for pain when Mottlestar stepped forward to bestow a life but as the connection was made, the leader was thrown by what swept over her. It was like her paws - no, her entire body - was aching with the desire to speak. The weight of everything that had happened the last moon was clear and she could feel the words she wanted to say - the words she ought to have shared with her Clanmates start to well up in her throat but any attempt to open her mouth to speak them failed.

This moment, it was not about what she could - should - say but the rushing desire to share. She could feel the prickles of all of the feelings, names coming to her head on which cats she might have spoken to them with. Even if she couldn’t speak the words, she found the names remaining lodged in her head even as the overwhelming chattiness started to ebb and the weight on her shoulders started to lessen. She took in a deep breath as it came to an end, feeling the burdens that had been so hard on her already feeling lighter with the reminder to share them.

With the ethereal glow now fully gone, Mottlestar once more fell to all four of her paws. ”She wasn’t alone, by the way,” The tortoiseshell began. Undoubtedly, Acornstem would know who it was that she spoke of. ”The very first thing once I passed was come to her side. She didn’t go to Starclan alone. I wasn’t going to let her.” If she hadn’t, now she would. Even as sadness was in her eyes at the mentioning of it, something else sparkled there. ”Now, if I don’t let her come talk to you, she’s going to either burn a hole into my pelt with her glare or gnaw my tail off like when she was a kit. Come on, you silly little spitfire, come see your mate.” Just as Pricklebush had tilted his head back to speak to her, she had done the same to the near-wriggling russet molly in the crowd. A grin had spread onto her maw, and the moment the two passed by each other, the mother playfully shoved her daughter’s shoulder. ”Make sure you let her take a breath or two before you start sparring with her. Getting eight lives is tiring.” As she would move back to the crowd, her gaze would look over her shoulder one last time. Pride shone in her eyes, along with a final nod, before she would slip back in amongst the cats to once more sit with Pricklebush.

A deep breath had escaped Acornstem, before it had been taken by a sharp gasp as Mottlestar suddenly spoke. She hadn’t been alone. As vague as it was, she knew in a heartbeat what the leader was speaking out even before she continued on - Firefly. She… She had always had regrets that she had not been there at her mate’s side when she had drawn her final breath. The words sank in, before she was straightening up and scanning the crowd as Mottlestar mentioned allowing her - Firefly - to speak to her.

She knew the count - she had gotten eight of her lives. She…She hadn’t quite considered the fact that the one life she was already living did not count for that number, that she would actually be receiving nine in total from the Stars. If there was to be a cat to give her a final life, she would have thought it Mottlestar but at the realization that it was her beloved…

Tears started to form in her eyes as she continued to scour the crowd for a sign of her heart.

Firefly - Righteous Fury
Written by Fly

Russet paws of an impatient elder (her rank in death, but now she looked as though she had never known sickness a day in her life, the scar given by StarClan as an apprentice gone entirely) moved side to side, a fine dusting of stars swirling around her as she pranced in place behind her mother, eagerly awaiting her turn. She didn't say it outloud, but Mottlestar was sure to have felt Firefly was trying to move everyone out of the way with her mind. Alas, StarClan had not imbued her with such a power.

Her tail shook in excitement at her mothers playful words and light shove, a purr beginning to rumble in her chest as the ex-ThunderClan leader stepped aside, knowingly unleashing her little flame to bound forward like an excited kit. Finally. Finally, it was her turn to embrace the soon-to-be leader with enough force to knock the both of them over as the fiery she-cat nuzzled her muzzle into the other's brown shoulder. ”You've been through a lot in so little time, otherwise I would I'd beg you for one last spar. Maybe next time, huh?” She gave a breathy chuckle into the soft fur of her mate before her smile turned into a sorrowful one. ”...There are no words to describe how sorry I am to have abandoned you so suddenly during a time you needed me the most. Everything slipped away so suddenly… But Mottlerstar is right. I was never alone, not even in my final dreams. Everything was peaceful. It was my time to go.” Had it not been her mother who had come to escort her to silverpelt, Firefly may not have even made it to StarClan with the intense fight she would have put up just to remain at Acornstem's side for even a whiskers length longer. She would have fought gods for the molly before her even if it sentenced her to the Dark Forest.

Acornstem's heart leapt into her throat as she spotted the russet pelt of Firefly break from the crowd. A relieved laugh escaped her throat as she took a step forward to greet her mate - only to realize how fast she was coming in heartbeats before they colided. She didn't mind as she was rolled onto her back from the force of it, the tears that had started to gather freely falling as she lifted her head to nuzzle into Firefly's neck as the she-cat spoke - her words muffled by Acornstem's fur in return but still clear enough for her to catch every last one.

Despite everything that had happened the last moon, if their encounter had been in anything put her leader ceremony, she would have agreed to the spar or perhaps even requested her own. It was odd to think that them putting each other to the test was a comfort to her, but it was how she had fallen in love and it had brought her so much joy for the two to measure up in a moment that was meant just for them. The rest of the words however... Her expression fell a little as Firefly could only offer an apology for... For dying. She almost wanted to scold Firefly for it but the relief to know that it was peaceful, that she hadn't been scared or alone in her final moments was...

She raised front legs, wrapping  her paws around Firefly in a hug as she buried her face even harder into Firefly's fur to mask and dry the tears that had formed, a sob of relief finding its  way out of her throat as the confirmation sunk in. She had hated not being there for Firefly upon her mate's death - so caught up in her own worries to even consider that her love's heart could... The horror of realizing what had happened too late to even get to say goodbye. She would have loved to spend eternity in this moment, to be with Firefly again but was forced to release her grip as she felt her mate shift above her.

Firefly stood, allowing her partner to also get to her paws, not missing the exhaustion so prominent in her features. ”I don't envy your position; your foundation has been shaken to its core, leaving you with little guidance in such a short amount of time. You've been forced to lead without warning - left with little time to mourn over such heavy losses… Yet here you are, still standing despite it all. You were born to lead to ThunderClan. Don't you ever try to convince yourself otherwise.” She gave a warm smile that matched the warmth of her flame coloured pelt. She knew there would be times that Acornstem would fall into the habit of blaming herself. Such was the burden of wearing one's heart on their chest for all to see.

She closed the gap between them, touching her nose against Acornstem's forehead. ”With this life, I give you righteous fury. The strength to push forward when the forest tries its best to hold you back. The power to fight for the betterment of those under your leadership. The drive to sink tooth and claw into anything that threatens to harm those you love. But be very careful of when you choose to use it: fury is a double-edged claw, bound to hurt the user just as much as the enemy.” She allowed a moment between them, hesitant to back away. It would (hopefully) be some time before the two could reunite like this.

Despite all of the lives she had already gotten, how many times the cats before Firefly had tried to urge her that she could do this… She couldn’t deny how heavy the weight felt as Firefly spoke of what had transpired so far and what laid before her. Firefly had been her foundation since the lake, always keeping in mind what they had spoken of the day they admitted their love but now, to face countless more dawns without her with the burden of leading ThunderClan on her own…

Even if she was born to lead ThunderClan, it did not mean she was ready for it - not like this.

Her ears however perked up as the gap was closed between them, Firefly announcing what the final life would be… And Acornstem almost wanted to laugh at how perfect it was. How she couldn’t imagine getting anything else from her heart. As the description was laid out…She could feel it, the heat that started in her core -  her very heart. A rising anger that felt like fire as she felt the air in her lungs leave to fuel the quickening infernio within.

It powered her, sending energy throughout her body but she also could feel how dangerous it was. It was an untamed fire that could easily consume everything within her before leaving naught but ash behind if she was not careful - or it would be the flame that would light the way in her darkest times. She fought to contain it, to not let it overwhelm her until finally the burning in her body started to fade to a gentle warmth - a warmth that made her feel content…But tired.

A sigh escaped Firefly as she forced her paws backwards - time was running out. Instead of tears, she met the acorn furred molly head on, pride etched into her olive gaze. ”I love you more than words could ever convey.” She whispered those words. They were only meant for the two of them.

Stepping further back to stand amongst the others, Firefly gave her mate one last smile, her last words a reminder that she had not forgotten the very day their love was found to be mutual. ”Stand with pride Acornstar and remember: focus on today in order to prepare for tomorrow.”

Acornstem shook her head to chase off the tiredness that had chosen to plague her body in the wake of the final life, barely realizing that Firefly had retreated a few steps until a soft whisper caught the edge of her hearing, gaze snapping up to stare at her mate. Her heart sank, sadness overtaking her as she realized this was the end - the ceremony was done.

“And I’ll love you to death and beyond,” she murmured back, a soft but sad purr rising in her throat. “May you be my guiding Star in all that I do.”

Her expression however started to sink as Firefly retreated further… Before the final words spoken struck her. Acornstar. Her eyes widened as she stared at her - refusing to lose sight of the familiar pelt within the crowd of stars. She had been devastated in part to get her leader name, to replace the name that Mottlestar had so lovingly given her but… For her leader name to be given by Firefly?

…She could live with that. A happy purr escaped her as the Stars themselves started to chant her name as the tiredness that she hadn’t managed to shake free slowly wormed its way into her, her eyes drifting shut…

And with that, Acornstar awoke.

Curled up at the base of the Moonstone, she took in a deep breath as she suddenly felt the weight of her true body again. Slowly pushing herself to her paws, she stretched out every limb with almost a flicker of disappointment at how…Normal she felt. She had nine lives now, didn’t she? Yet she felt like she had before she had touched the stone.

…No, that wasn’t right - there was a peace within her now, she realized. Seeing her loved ones - her son, her mother, mother-figure and mate among the sea of unfamiliar cats (and Vipershade) was… It brought her comfort. The grief was there, she could feel the tiredness and heartache still pulling at her but with everything she had been told, with the lives she had been given…

She lifted her head, turning to where Echosong had been waiting patiently. “It's done,” she breathed, a nervous but relieved smile crossing her face. “StarClan has given me their blessing and my nine lives. I’m… I’m Acornstar.”

It felt weird to say - ‘Acornstar.’ It wasn’t that different from her warrior name she supposed, but it still didn’t feel quite like her just yet. But maybe in time, it would come to fit her as well as StarClan seemed to believe in her. But for now, it was time to return home so she could attempt to be the leader that ThunderClan needed.

OOC: I want to give thanks to Gravis (Cedarstalk), Byrin (Gingerroot), Ripped (Beartooth), Grey (Vipershade), Ash (Pricklebush), Kitty (Mottlestar) and Fly (Firefly) for writing their respective cats giving Acorn her lives! I also wish to give a shoutout to Maple who had agreed to write a life for Dustcloud, but real life got in the way so I had to sadly replace with Branchlight - Acorn's NPC mother - instead but still, all of the love and respect to those who helped me write this ceremony even if one didn’t quite work out!