The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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Subject: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:21 am
Even in a leaf-bare as bitterly cold as this one had been, sun-high was the warmest time of day. There was certainly nowhere near as much warmth as she vaguely remembered from the warm late greenleaf of her kithood days in the nursery, but it was a welcome change from the otherwise unrelentingly bitter winds. A patrol drenched in the cold sun's apricity, with two of her favorite cats--Uncle Rainrain and his friend Crookedlight--ought to have been a cause for joy. And it was better than being holed up in camp, as usual. Yet Bubblebeam could not quite muster a smile as the group of three made their way into the trees, dodging piles of half-melted snow and unearthed mulching leaves. It was nice to spend time with them, but... Rainfrost had been a shadow of his former self ever since the sickness, and now the loss of his mother, Great-Aunt Birdstar... she knew that he was feeling awful. There was a hollowness to his eyes every time she glanced at him. And though she appreciated Crookedlight's kindness in sheltering her during the post-war screaming match in camp, she knew that all of this would be bothering him, too. Everything felt as if the color had been leached out of it.
But this was a hunting patrol, first and foremost... and as much as her love for her Clan was slowly fading, melting just like the pure white snow around them was slowly becoming an off-grayish brown, she still had to at least go through the motions of pretending to care. Her ears pricked up when she saw a squirrel, perched on the very end of a birch tree branch. She loved her uncles, but looking at them felt like stepping with a sore paw, so she only offered them a quick and wordless nod before going off to hunt. If there was one thing she could do, at least, it was climbing. A few quick motions got her up the trunk of the tree, and from there, she just had to step carefully. Bubblebeam's eyes narrowed, and she tried to push out all irrelevant thoughts, focusing only on the prey in front of her. Thankfully, if only for that one moment, her mind went blank. Instinct took hold. With a quick leap, she grasped the squirrel in her jaws and ended its life. But she heard it squeak, a high-pitched cry that somehow pierced right into her ears. Dizziness inflicted by the sharp sound and the simultaneous memory of her own voice, screaming out for her father as claws raked across her belly, nearly caused her to stumble. She had to unsheathe her claws and dig them into the bark in order to keep from falling. Her head pounded with nausea. After a moment or two of pause she forced her frozen feet to move, dismounting without issue from the tree branch, but she dropped the squirrel the moment she landed. Then spat out the coppery taste on her tongue for good measure. She needed to eat food to live, so... why did the blood of prey suddenly taste rancid? Another side effect of the starvation during her apprenticeship? It was impossible to tell. Stop shaking. It's just a squirrel. What's wrong with you? You caught food for the Clan. That should be the only thing on your mind. Still, Bubblebeam's pale-green eyes looked slightly vacant as she kicked old leaves over the squirrel and returned to where Crookedlight and Rainfrost waited. Hopefully they hadn't seen the sudden spike of fear in her eyes or the way her ears pinned tightly against her head. In case they had... she still couldn't bear to look at them.
Bubblebeam tried to catch a squirrel... Success! -3 SP
~~PM me here or on Discord if you want a topic with any of my cats!~~ ~Wonderful Signature by Xaandiir!~
Last edited by Ash on Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:26 am; edited 1 time in total
Mistpelt
Characters : Mistpelt Clan/Rank : RiverClanWarrior Number of posts : 15080 Age : 30
Subject: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:21 am
The member 'Ash' has done the following action : Dice roll
'Hunting Dice' : 4
______________________________________
♪~Founder/Owner of WCC~♫ ~Forever a RiverClan Warrior~ ~Please pm Administrators with queries as I'm not active~
xaandiir Former Staff
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4 Number of posts : 2965 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: Re: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Wed Mar 13, 2024 8:29 pm
Crookedlight
Crookedlight’s heart was not into the hunting patrol they had been sent on. Perhaps it was that he had had no appetite wince the war party returned with news of what had happened at the river, or it was his worry for both Rainfrost and Bubblebeam, or just the tension that had permeated camp ever since Birdstar’s death…Crookedlight found it hard to want to do much of anything.
Well, that was not entirely true…what he did want to do was see Rowansong and speak to him. He wanted to understand things from RiverClan’s side too, because he knew they were not just a clan of maniacal murderers…but he could not do that either. Even if not for how tight security had been along the borders, Crookedlight had not seen a whisker of Rowansong since the clans parted ways in a panicked haze from those wolves out by the lake. He thought he would have come across him at least once on a patrol, but no…of all the RiverClan eyes that had peered at him from across the river, none of them were the stunning green of that russet tom.
Crookedlight watched Bubblebeam half-heartedly as his thoughts wandered. He should try and find a bird to catch as well, but he felt no impulse to. He just watched Bubblebeam scramble up the tree and then he saw the way her body shifted and tensed. When she dropped to the ground, her eyes looked hazy and he swore he smelled fear-scent coming off of her. He brushed his shoulder against Rainfrost as he walked to meet with her.
“Bubblebeam?” Crookedlight murmured. It pained his heart that she couldn’t seem to meet his eyes either. “Are you feeling alright? That was a good catch you got…”
Stars. Why was it that he always seemed to lose his words around cats that he cared for?
Characters : Stormdance (S) Rainfrost (R) Sunpool (Su) Wrenpaw (W) Hawkmist (H) Clan/Rank : Riverclan, Tier 5 Warrior (S) Skyclan, Tier 3 Warrior (R) Riverclan, Tier 2 Warrior (Su) Riverclan, Apprentice (W) Shadowclan, Tier 2 Warrior (H) Number of posts : 1024 Gender : Transmasc, he/they Age : 23
Subject: Re: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Tue Mar 26, 2024 6:38 pm
Rainfrost
Skyclan Territory
The world has felt different since Birdstar’s loss. Once what felt familiar and safe has become foreign and frightening, and though the cold had lost the worst of its bite, Rainfrost spent more often than not shivering. A few things kept him grounded to the earth; his remaining family, his friends, Crookedlight, always. But on his own, Rainfrost felt as though his head was stuffed full of moss and he’d floated somewhere outside his body. It was a disconcerting feeling. Rainfrost couldn’t even describe his emotional state as sad. It was more numb than anything else.
Bubblebeam and Crookedlight were both good, comforting company, even if Rainfrost knew he wasn’t, even if they both had shadows over their own faces and weights on their shoulders. It was disconcerting to be around the two of them and hear no flowing conversation. Before all of this, he would’ve sworn that putting his talkative best friend and talkative niece together meant there wouldn’t be a moment of quiet, but as the patrol moved forward, he heard nothing but the sound of their pawsteps. He couldn’t blame them.
It hurt to see how far into herself Bubblebeam had retreated. Rainfrost wished he knew how to help. He wanted to pull her back up, give her someone steady and reliable to rely on, but instead, he was drowning right alongside her, helpless to do anything to ease her suffering. He remembered her tears after the war. He hated her hurting, ever.
And Crookedlight... oh, Crookedlight. It wouldn't be the first time Rainfrost wondered what he'd done to deserve a friend like him, and it was sure not to be the last. Rainfrost knew Crookedlight was grieving Birdstar too. And yet he was there, just constantly there, even as useless and distant as Rainfrost could tell he was being. Rainfrost doesn't know what he'd do without him. He wished he knew how to say how thankful he was, how much it helped.
Looking at the two cats next to him, two of the most important cats in the world to him, Rainfrost couldn’t help but fear the moment he lost them too. He didn’t want to live his life in fear of losing what he had, but grief had chased his paws for as long as he could remember.
Shaking his head a little bit to clear the fog from it, Rainfrost watched with dull eyes as Bubblebeam slipped off to hunt, equally unmotivated to move quite yet as Crookedlight. He caught the change in her as well when she returned to them, and he followed Crookedlight’s pawsteps to join her. He pressed up against her side, wondering if the slight tremor he felt beneath her fur was from the remaining cold in the air or related to the faint fear-scent that clung to her.
She wouldn’t meet their eyes, either of them. Brushing his tail over her flank, Rainfrost spoke a heartbeat after Crookedlight. “It’s alright, if things are a lot right now.” He said quietly. He didn’t know how to bring Bubblebeam peace, but he wanted to at least try. He met Crookedlight’s gaze, finding his own worry and helplessness reflected back at him. It seemed as though all three of them were drowning, in one way or another, and Rainfrost had no idea how to drag any of them to the surface. But stars, he had to try.
Subject: Re: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:08 pm
Unfortunately, it seemed that she hadn't been quick enough to mask her discomfort. Bubblebeam was a terrible liar; that applied to her body language, too. It appeared that the shaking of her limbs and the way her ears pinned back had betrayed her. Despite the fact that they both had far better things to do, and they were both dealing with grief far worse than hers, both Uncle Rain and Crookedlight soon converged on her with well-meaning concern. She had come out to hunt and forget about their problems, not make everything worse. Stars, she couldn't do anything right. Helplessly she lifted her gaze to meet first Rainfrost's--why was he shorter than her? When had that happened?--and then Crookedlight's gazes, seeing the pain deep inside both. She should have been trying to cheer them up or comfort them, not the other way around. She hated being useless. However, she wasn't strong enough to deny the unconditional love that they were both offering. How long had it been since her own father had shown a moment of care? How long had it been since her own father had even spoken to her? Wolfblossom had tried her best, but a gesture of comfort had felt strange coming from an authority figure first and family member second. Her Uncle Rainfrost and dear Crookedlight, on the other paw....
Bubblebeam gave into her weakness and leaned forward, resting her forehead in the soft chest-fur of Crookedlight. Next to her, Rainfrost was slightly too small for her to lean her weight on, but she entwined her long-furred tail with his. The warmth radiating from both of them was almost too much, almost too kind. Not something she deserved. But she was too weak to deny her needy self. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Her voice sounded exhausted for some reason, even though the hunt had not been strenuous at all. Maybe it was just because she didn't know the last time that someone had offered her such unreserved, wholehearted concern. Even though she felt bad for accepting it, it drew her in like a kit to their mother. "I was trying to be strong. I just... the squirrel screamed. I wasn't expecting it. It sounded like me." It sounded stupid, when she said it aloud. Probably because it was. She hadn't even been at the big battle, hadn't fought anyone since the skirmish as an apprentice, and it still affected her somehow. Rainfrost had lost his mother. She ought to be comforting him. Instead, she just buried herself in her uncle and his friend like a baby and drank in every ounce of their presence that she could. "I hate fighting," she whispered. "I wish no one had to fight, ever. I wish you and everyone else I love never had to get hurt. I... don't like it when everyone's sad, like this. I hate that I can't help. I can't even help myself."
~~PM me here or on Discord if you want a topic with any of my cats!~~ ~Wonderful Signature by Xaandiir!~
xaandiir Former Staff
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [W]hisperear; [C]rookedlight; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; WC T5; SkC T5; RC T4; RC T4 Number of posts : 2965 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 25
Subject: Re: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Wed Apr 03, 2024 3:58 pm
Crookedlight
Crookedlight’s heart squeezed. He hated hearing Bubblebeam so upset. He knew that she was struggling since the outburst of the patrol coming home. He had seen how frightened she looked of her own father. He wished he could take this pain away from her somehow. He knew he couldn’t, though, and so he could only shift and rest his chin on top of her head while she hid away against his chest.
“The life of a warrior is a hard one. I don’t think that’s something to be ashamed of. If it were up to me, there would never be a reason for battle.” Crookedlight grimaced and he thought back to when he was stuck in Twolegplace. It had been nice there. Comforting. He had given into his desires to just be pampered and Rowansong had lashed out at him for it…But he would never do that. Especially not to the cats he loved. Perhaps it was a foul thing to suggest but he found his jaw working and saying it anyway. “I think the only place that is free of fighting would be Twolegplace. It is…nice there. The Twolegs aren’t so bad.
Characters : Stormdance (S) Rainfrost (R) Sunpool (Su) Wrenpaw (W) Hawkmist (H) Clan/Rank : Riverclan, Tier 5 Warrior (S) Skyclan, Tier 3 Warrior (R) Riverclan, Tier 2 Warrior (Su) Riverclan, Apprentice (W) Shadowclan, Tier 2 Warrior (H) Number of posts : 1024 Gender : Transmasc, he/they Age : 23
Subject: Re: it just feels inhumane to lose this much (c) Fri May 03, 2024 5:08 pm
Rainfrost
Skyclan Territory
Something in Rainfrost’s heart ached and then cracked clean in two as he watched Bubblebeam slump into Crookedlight’s chest, the pretense of strength she’d been carrying in her shoulders melting away as she allowed herself to lean on the two of them. As she tangled her fluffy tail with his he pressed close on her other side, providing a few comforting licks to her shoulder in a paternal move.
He looked at her and for a moment he could only see her mother; not as she was when she faded away in the medicine den, but when Juniperheart was still just a kit. Crawling into the apprentices’ den to curl up at Rainfrost’s side, asking if he thought she would make a good warrior. Bubblebeam was, in many ways, very similar to Juniperheart, carrying all the best parts of her. Rainfrost felt a fresh wave of grief and sorrow wash over him and he pressed closer too, wishing he could reassure Bubblebeam as easily as he reassured a young Juniperheart. He wished things were still simple for Bubblebeam. She was still so young.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” He said softly to her, gentle but firm. His eyes glanced towards his best friend with surprise when Crookedlight spoke of the Twolegplace. He had never spoken much to Rainfrost about his experiences there. Rainfrost had always assumed the experience had been awful, and while he knew Crookedlight had been unhappy to be separated from Rainfrost and the clan, it was a surprise to hear he didn’t think poorly of the Twolegs who took him. Rainfrost let out a soft hum of consideration and settled down fully by Bubblebeam’s side, sitting down but staying pressed close as she leaned against Crookedlight. “I don’t think I ever told you this directly, though you may have heard about it before from your mother or Wolfblossom. I’m from the twoleg place originally. So was your mother. You and I are related by blood, but I was adopted by,” His voice faltered for a moment and he swallowed down the grief. “By Birdstar and brought into the clan.”
“I don’t remember much of my time there, I was far too young, but I do remember it being… warm, before I was separated from my birth mother,” He said quietly. “Crookedlight’s memories are far more reliable,” He flicked his gaze to Crookedlight and blinked slowly in appreciation for his best friend’s presence. He knows he would be floundering in how to handle this without him. He would always be floundering with him. The memory of going without him for so long while he was stuck in the twolegplace still ached sometimes. “I bring this up because I have wondered for a long time if I was truly suited for warrior life. Your mother took to it quickly, but I have always felt as though I… struggled.”
“I wouldn’t trade having been brought to the clan for the world; I love my family here, I love you, I love getting to have known cats like Crookedlight, Creamsky and Lightningbreeze…” Another pause and he closed his eyes. “I loved Birdstar,” He said before he opened them again. “And your mother. There are things about clan life that I am so happy to be a part of.” He turned his gaze back to Bubblebeam. “But there is also strife, a lack of stability, and pain.”
“What happened during the war was awful, and hard for anyone to rectify, to grieve. I hate it too. I hate that we ever had to fight. I think it’s normal to feel helpless, to feel scared. I know I do.” He pressed his nose to her shoulder in a comforting motion. “And there is nothing wrong with that. It is impossible for anyone to be strong all of the time. That’s why we have a clan. To rely on one another.” He gave a tired, slight little smile. “Birdstar taught me that. That I didn’t have to do it all on my own. And neither do you.”
“All I want is for you to be happy, and safe.” Rainfrost continued. “I cannot guarantee either, as much as I might want to. But all I need from you is to take care of yourself. Whatever that might look like. And I, and Crookedlight, are here for you. No matter what. As hopeless as things may feel right now... there is still love, and there is still change to come.” It was perhaps the most he’d talked since Birdstar’s death had been confirmed, and his voice was growing a little hoarse, so he finished his little speech by pressing just that much closer.
