somehow missed the warning signs [c]

Lighttail wasn’t faring all that well herself, the coughing fits growing worse by the day. Still, she continued as many of her duties as possible. She especially had been making sure to kill any rat she saw on sight. She’d only seen a couple at the lake but wasn’t about to let them kill her sick clanmates.

She was no fool. Lighttail knew Sablestrike had been up to something when she was removed from scouting without an explanation. She sat down at Leopardstar’s approach, nodding respectfully. “Yes, Leopardstar. Sablestrike has spoken to you.” It wasn’t a question. “What exactly did he say? I ask only to be sure that I am being heard accurately, as I don’t know that he understands my position.”

Lighttail relaxed a little. She’d been afraid of Leopardstar’s anger, but perhaps Sablestrike had been the worst of it. “I’ll try to present my side as calmly as I can, Leopardstar,” she mewed. “Firstly, I haven’t felt seen or cared about as an individual in this clan in a long time. Every time I think someone cares, they seem to prove me otherwise. This includes Sablestrike, as he made it quite clear he is no longer my brother when we spoke. With Stoatclaw, I feel seen. Secondly, we didn’t break the code for the vast majority of our relationship. The warrior code specifically allows friends in other clans, and for a long time that’s what we were. Thirdly, no I am not pregnant. Just wanted to get that out of the way. Now. Could I have brought Stoatclaw to ShadowClan? No. Last time he was with us it was because a cat literally tried to murder him. I won’t make anyone relive that.

All that being said, I should have told you sooner and I want to come clean with that. The nature of our friendship changed before my mother’s death. I said nothing because I have been her caretaker for so long and I couldn’t leave while she was ill. By the time she died-“ she began tearing up “-the clan was starving. Maybe I have the wrong idea of loyalty, but I thought the more loyal option would be to stay and hunt for a clan that didn’t want me than to deprive ShadowClan of a warrior in times like these. I’m sorry, Leopardstar. I’m sorry my stupid heart can’t connect with the right cats. I’m sorry for being stupid and invisible. But I don’t see how I can stay here, when the one cat who used to love me has turned his back.”

Much to her relief, Leopardstar continued to be reasonable and not berate Lighttail for things she had no control over. “It’s not your fault, Leopardstar,” Lighttail mewed, staring off into the distance. “Of all cats, you had good reason. You’re busy. I understand that. And maybe even Sablestrike has his reasons, I guess. After all, he’s Clanborn. I’m not. Still, I think I need to go. Now that he hates me, I can’t live under his supervision anymore. I’ve already suffered more than you’ll ever know, Leopardstar. In SkyClan, I know at least that one cat is always on my side. I have nothing left to lose.”

“Don’t apologize, Leopardstar,” Lighttail mewed. “I should probably have told somebody how I felt sooner. I’ve just had to be the strong one in the family for too long, I guess. I know life is short, and I want to be happy before it’s too late. I don’t know if Stoatclaw’s talked to his leader and deputy yet. I know he was going to, but life kinda fell apart.”