Sacrifice [Pigeon]

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Pigeonpaw

Pigeonpaw's ears fell back as she took in the world around her. She'd had dreams like this before--these foggy, half-realized nightmares in woods she didn't recognize. Stumbling through the crawling fog, Pigeonpaw could feel her heart thudding too heavy in her chest, feel the cold in the air. It felt so real. She was sure she was dreaming--she knew she'd laid down that night, right beside Dovepaw like always--but... an overgrown root snagged her paw, and Pigeonpaw let out a startled yip as she stumbled over it. Immediately she whirled around, pelt bristling as she glared down at the offending tangle. You're not s'pposed to trip in dreams, she thought ruefully. While she was forcing her fur to lie flat, Pigeonpaw's wandering eyes traveled up, catching sight of something that stole her attention immediately and made her pelt fluff all over again.

There was a figure standing there, the way she'd come from. Pigeonpaw wasn't sure if she'd been followed or if it'd simply... materialized. That would make sense for a nightmare, at least. When she squinted a little closer and her eyes weren't blurry with surprise, she realized it wasn't just some formless monster: it was another cat, far bigger than her, with an eye like Ravenpaw's. Swallowing thickly, she pressed her ears back and squared her body, trying to look like she'd grown past just barely earning her name. "Whadda you doin'?" Pigeonpaw called, hoping the high key to her voice sounded more threatening at a distance. "Are you followin' me or somethin'? 'Cause you better turn around! I can- I can fight better than any warrior, and I don't wanna hafta show ya."

Pigeonpaw
Apprentice | RiverClan | she/her

Pigeonpaw's slowly lashing tail swept up to curl against her side as the dark figure came properly into view. She wanted to bristle at the way he laughed, embarrassed over how unphased he was by her display. There wasn't any malice in his chuckle, though--at least, it didn't sound like there was--and he said they wouldn't have to fight... that he'd been a warrior, too. Pigeonpaw hesitantly let her eyes drift from him, taking in the wood around them. It was dark here, or maybe it just felt darker than it really was, but either way... it was hard to imagine her first thought that this was StarClan was right. She thought it was supposed to be bright and glittery the way snow was under sunlight. But if this cat--Starlingflare--had been a warrior, and he knew her name, who was she to argue...?

"Um," Pigeonpaw started, letting her tail unfurl and return to nervously swaying. Looking back at Starlingflare, she answered, "Perchstar an' Owlcall found me 'n' my littermates when we were just li'l kits. Our mom was a rogue, but--she was gone." Pigeonpaw had to bite her tongue to hide her wince. She tried not to think too hard about the fact she never got to know her mother, or that she knew nothing of her father. She was happy with the family she had; she didn't need to acknowledge the resurfacing sting. Ears pinning back, Pigeonpaw lifted her chin and huffed, "Why? Who are you? I donno a Starlin'flare. Are ya here to give into me for not bein' born in the Clans? I'm 's good a warrior as any real RiverClan cat. Perchstar wouldn't'a kept us if not."

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Pigeonpaw
Apprentice | RiverClan | she/her

At Starlingflare's assurance, Pigeonpaw's big eyes got even bigger. She was a Clan cat--sure she was, she'd been raised in one--just... not the one she thought? Her ears pressed down further until they'd slicked nearly entirely flat against her head. The one-eyed warrior carried on before Pigeonpaw could process what he'd meant, but his explanation ground all attempted thought to a wailing halt, anyway. Pigeonpaw wanted to take a step back, but her paws felt rooted to the ground. Her mother was from ThunderClan? And her father too, and her father was the very same cat standing in front of her now and he'd died, too--or, not died, but he'd been killed--for... an accident, or was it for exposing lies? Was ThunderClan really the kind of Clan to sanction the murder of a pregnant queen?

Pigeonpaw swallowed hard. None of this made any sense. The erratic pounding of her heart echoed like thunder in her ears. Maybe all the recent stress was just giving her nightmares? But... she'd had dreams like this before. When her paws were able to move again, Pigeonpaw found herself stepping wobbly forward, moving into the gaze so intently fixed on her. Her doubt and fear were loud, but the pride Starlingflare spoke with; a glimpse into the truth of her family; the promise of belonging... it was all too alluring to run from. "You... you---our father...?" Pigeonpaw's words came out haltingly. She closed her eyes briefly to compose herself before facing Starlingflare's boring stare again. "You... y'aren't lyin', right? Ya really... mean it?"

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Pigeonpaw
Apprentice | RiverClan | she/her

So... Starlingflare confirmed it. He spoke the truth. Pigeonpaw wasn't sure she had any real reason to believe him, but her father--her father a parent she'd never held any delusions of knowing... she couldn't bring herself to give into the doubt. She blinked twice up at him, eyes round with surprise still. She was almost born in ThunderClan. If whatever happened, hadn't... her and her siblings all would've grown up among the trees and bracken. No kinship with the river. No Perchstar, no Poppyshine, no Scarletpaw. Her life would have been entirely different. The thought alone made Pigeonpaw shudder.

Her legs suddenly felt heavy. Slowly, Pigeonpaw sank onto her haunches, staring down at her paws for a moment before blinking back at Starlingflare. Her jaw worked in silence until she managed out, "S-so... now what? Do I have t', y'know, tell anyone?" There, her chest squeezed. Was she the last to hear from Starlingflare, as she often was? Were her siblings keeping this from her? Pigeonpaw couldn't blame them, not after a glance around the murky wood, but her heart squeezed regardless. "I-I mean-- are ya gonna keep seein' me? Have ya already met ev'ryone else? Y'said you're proud of 'em too, right?"

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Pigeonpaw
Apprentice | RiverClan | she/her

Pigeonpaw nodded slowly at Starlingflare's answers. She still felt kind of numb, sluggish with the information dropped on her, but she took it in stride. Something sour rose up the back of her throat at the idea of not telling anyone; it felt like the wrong kind of lie. But Pigeonpaw swallowed it down and chose to trust the tom before her. At the very least, she could tell her siblings, right? ...eventually. And Starlingflare was right: what would really change, if they were to confess? If anything, they would risk being ostracized or forced out of the Clan! (Though, in actuality, Pigeonpaw didn't think Perchstar would drive them out; not after proving their loyalty to the Clan.

Starlingflare's form began to waver in front of her. Maybe it was more than just the overload that was making her head spin. Pigeonpaw had never felt that particular tug in her limbs before, but right away, she knew she was waking up. She leaned into Starlingflare's word that he'd be there so long as she just thought of him; that he'd be there for her always. "O-okay," she said with another slow nod. "Play. Starlin'flare. I-I'll keep thinkin' of ya."

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