(OOC:
sorry, sorta a surprise in that we didn't talk it over first but I think its even better this way since night's also surprised by it. No rush in replying, take all the time u need. I'm in no rush and probably wont be able to reply either for a bit
)
Swiftheart sat outside the warriors den. She was busy. Busy skinning a weasel for its fur pelt. She had learned the skill from Thalia and had gotten decent at it even. She inspected her work critically... hmm it was alright ... not the best but she had done her best and she tried to convince herself that was what mattered.
She sighed holding it gently in her jaws. She was not particularly looking forward to this conversation but knew it needed to happen. Just as one might not look forward to going to the med den to extract a nasty thorn but it was still the correct move to make in the long term.
The thorn in this situation? The bitter wedge that had placed itself between her and her brother and littermate Nightstar. The pair had always been close ever since kits. Different? Yes very different in alot of ways, how they approached things and how they acted. But close always, not like this, not like the past moon or so where they actively avoided each other it wasn't right and not natural at all. It felt icky and gross. She had talked to Iceheart about it and gotten alot of good advise that she felt she really needed.
Ice had told her to apologize but not to overdue it, she said both of them kinda had things at fault here.
And while Swiftheart appreciated that advise alot, she was willing to do just about whatever it took to get her and Nightstar back to what they had. Even if that meant not making him apologize for anything. Pride had never been something she sought after at all, so she didnt care aton if she had to be the one to initiate this and get things back to better again. Ice told her dont overaplogize... hmm she might have to break that bit of advise.
But with this, she also never was much of a leader, that had always been his strong suit and when she tried to corner him into something that was a mistake on her end. She was truly trying her best for shadowclan but she was just not good at this negotiating stuff, the one time she had tried to play tough and such she had ended up just making everything way worse and driving wedges into relationships that shadowclan was built on.
She sighed swatting at the weasel pelt a bit frustrated.
How had things gotten this messed up? In reality she knew it wasnt as big a deal as she maybe was making it out to be, she and him had an argument and that was that. But it FELT like something so much more. Felt like she had let him down and betrayed his trust and now she would do alot to turn around what she felt was her fault.
In reality (and talking a bit out of character) it was probably both of their faults that it had come to this
But Swiftheart had led herself to believe that this was all on her. Besides, Nightstar was her older brother and always knew what to do and was her leader, this couldnt be his fault.
She snatched the pelt up slowly drifting over to his den.
"Nightstar?!" she called out for him.
She waited for his okay to enter
(yeah i'm just gonna say he said to come on in. Cause otherwise there isn't much for you to reply to. I never know what to do in these spots cause like I don't wanna control someone else's character but like... do I really wanna make someone reply with "come in" ... weird dilemma that no one asked about but yea and swiftheart isnt the kind to just barge in)
When he was good to meet with her she walked into his den and set the weasel pelt down on his den floor. "I thought it might look nice in here.... oh umm no worries, if you dont like it I can always give it to the nursery too" she said shrugging a little...
well she wasnt just here to give him a little gift, something he probably already had figured out.
She glanced at her front paws a little before back up at him. "umm... I really never meant for things to get like this" she started off slowly.
"I never meant to make things into this and I'm really sorry Nightstar. I only wanted what I thought what was best. But I see now that I was wrong to do what I did. I never should have done that and regret it. I think one of my biggest weaknesses and blind spots at times is trusting others a little too easily. It happened when dad was always cautious about Marshmallow and I was her friend. And then again now, I trusted Sablestrike maybe even too much. she explained the best she could.
"But I want you to know that you are the one I've always trusted the most and you always will be. I'm sorry I let you down. she said quietly
"Ive never been a good leader Nightstar, Ive never tried to be either, Ive always been happy to follow you and thats what I want to continue to do. So what im asking for... no begging for is you dont let all we had built to be ruined by one stupid decision by me. When I tried to leverage my position, it was never meant to hurt you the way that it ended up doing. It was only meant to show you how much I thought at the time Sable could do... I realize now that wasnt at all a good idea
She glanced at him.
I know it was just a small thing but I dont want it growing and festering. I want to forget it ever happened and move past it back to like how things were before. I'm sorry and I wanna do anything to fix this.
"All our lives we have had to defend our clan from stars knows what, ... the forgotten order, The Dark forest, the very forces of nature recently. And with all of those we won every single time. Nothing can defeat us externally and after all that I am not gonna let anything split us apart from the inside out. Especially something so minor as this
She paused glancing and wondering what he would say to all that. She had done everything she could think of to mend this and extend. It was up to him how this was received.
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