digital witness [C]

Birdstar

By the grace of StarClan, Dawnfeather made it back to the forest, to SkyClan. The warrior's return was a relief; it was a weight off the heart just to see she was alive, but more than that, it meant return was possible. The cats that had been captured, whether they were SkyClan or not, had a shot at making it back home. Birdstar hoped that the others would find their way home, too, but all that really mattered to her was her own Clanmate.

But, over the tumult, Birdstar had realized how impermanent the lives around her were. Her Clanmates could be taken at any moment– whether that was by capture or by death, if they were unlucky, they would be lost forever. It had made Birdstar realize how little she knew about some of her Clanmates, Dawnfeather chiefly among them. So, when she spotted the golden molly across the clearing, Birdstar gathered her paws and padded over to her. Pausing a little ways away, she called, "Dawnfeather, how are you? Do you want to talk for a moment?"

Dawnfeather- SkyClan’s resident sweetheart

Dawnfeather felt listless. Mistpaw’s training was progressing nicely, of course, and she hoped her young apprentice hadn’t noticed the way her mentor had had to shake her head to clear her brain multiple times. Dawnfeather had dismissed her early today, letting her take the afternoon off- she deserved it, after all. Courage was not the absence of fear, but rather the willpower to push through it, and in that aspect, Mistpaw might’ve been the bravest of all of them. She was scared of everything- but she was trying to overcome that fear. Dawnfeather couldn’t have been more proud- although, every time she thought that about practically anycat, something happened to prove her wrong.

Foxpaw, she felt reasonably certain, was training with Thornstalker. Hopefully, his mentor wouldn’t let him gallumph in the trees like he wanted to- despite what the younger tom thought, tree-flying took practice. He was progressing nicely, too. And of course dear Beetle was here- the only thing anchoring her to the past. She loved him. Life was well.

Then why did she feel so… dull? Despite herself, Dawnfeather thought she knew. It was the way that every time she caught a glimpse of herself in a puddle, her clipped ear stood out. It annoyed her and irritated her and got under her skin in a way that nothing else had. The blatant lack of symmetry gnawed at her insides. She- she knew she shouldn’t care- compared to Bloodstrike or Beechaunt or even Cicadapaw, she was practically untouched… but she’d always appreciated the symmetry of her own pelt. It was… vain of her, no doubt, but not even the knowledge that she would not be able to have kits irked her as much as the clipped ear. She’d made a family before out of ties stronger than blood. She could do it again. What she couldn’t do was fix her ear- and it was so, so utterly stupid of her to be so hung up over it, but she couldn’t help it. No one else minded. Only her. But she minded enough for the lot of them.

She needed to distract herself. The golden molly groomed down her pelt, stubbornly keeping her thoughts on how glad she was that Smokepaw had Wolfblossom as a mentor. And that Foxpaw’s training was progressing nicely. And- a familiar voice broke through her thoughts, and for a moment, as Dawnfeather looked up, she saw double- grey tabby fur and greenish eyes and a voice that should’ve been deeper and raspier but wasn’t- because, of course, this wasn’t Beechaunt. The two shared only a passing resemblance. What- she must’ve almost dozed off without realizing it.

“I’m doing well!” the golden molly purred, clear blue eyes studying the other SkyClanner. Birdchaser was Birdstar now, wasn’t she? How wonderful. “Of course! Is anything wrong?” Dawnfeather asked, wondering. Surely- surely Beechaunt was alright. Or perhaps Birdstar had been granted a sign? Maybe- well. It wouldn’t hurt to hope, that Prima and Muddy were, at last, coming home. To the stars.

Or maybe she’d picked up on her family’s habit of always assuming the worst.

Birdstar

There had been a beat, just as Dawnfeather turned to look up, where she'd looked... surprised, or a bit distant. The expression passed as quickly as it came though, and Birdstar was content to tell herself it hadn't been there at all– and if it had, that the golden molly was just lost in thought. She imagined Dawnfeather had plenty on her mind. A small shiver hit her shoulders at the thought of being taken by twolegs, at where the warrior must have gone, what she may have seen. Selfishly, Birdstar was grateful she hadn't been captured. ...yet. But she was much more grateful that Dawnfeather had made it home.

Sitting down neatly, Birdstar let her tail fall loosely over her paws as she reclined. "Nothing's wrong," she promised, then with a quiet laugh, added dryly, "except what's been the usual for... however many moons, now." A somber look clouded her expression, and Birdstar frowned. It was almost cruel, how all of this could happen so suddenly– and how there was nothing they could do about it. Her thick tail thumped against her forelegs. It wasn't fair, it was a fight they couldn't win. Even if all five Clans had somehow put aside their bitterness and independence, had stayed together... they couldn't stop the force of a twoleg. Briefly deter, but that was all. Then there would just be more of them in one place, easier to steal away more good, loved cats. Her expression soured further and her chest squeezed thinking about Crookedpaw and Blackbear.

But she wasn't here to brood or fold Dawnfeather into her own worries. Smiling softly, she mewed, "I just wanted to talk, Dawnfeather. I don't know you too well, but you're a Clanmate– and family. I can't be ignorant of my warriors when I'm deciding to play leader." Birdstar laughed again, rougher than before. "So... how are you doing? Have you been alright, since you got home? Did you..." She paused, words trailing. Emotionally available was not a phrase she'd use to describe herself. After a stall of tongue-biting, she slowly asked, "Did you want to talk about how things were, while you were away?"