All That I Have Lost [c]

It had taken Coyotegrin a few sunrises to realize something. With the business of everything going on, cats missing, chaos erupting, Vixenkit sick... It hadn't dawned on her. Until one sunrise she was navigating a cliffside that overlooked her home. The moors... WindClan's territory. It was familiar to her like the outside of her own paws, so she almost didn't register the gently waving grass. But with a sudden stop and the realization hitting her like a rockfall, it hit her. Breath caught in her chest, she slowly turned her head to look. The crack, now running through their moors... Their land was hit with such force, it split the very ground they walked on apart. There... There was no way that her tunnels survived. They would all be gone, crumbled. Every pawful of dirt moved, it was for no reason. Choking back a cry, the warrior slumped against a rock and curled up in a ball, staring at it. Quivers wracked her body as she witheld sobs. Because of those tunnels, she wasn't Deputy, the only position that could make her truly happy. Sure, she wormed her way into being just as important without the weight of 'star' to come, but she wanted that 'star' to come. Since the day she was born, she wanted to be Coyotestar. When the very StarClan that would grant her such a name decided going deeper rather than up was her fate, she accepted it. Because it would still mean something. She would still be 'Coyotegrin, the Tunnel Captain who brought our ancestrial heritage back. Who saved us with the tunnels she scraped by paw.'

Some good that was.

The cries came now and the familiar weight of heavy grief settled into her chest and stomach. She tried to cry out that pain, desperate for relief. But none came. What use was she? Who was she? Death laid down at her paws no matter how fast she ran or how deep she dug. What would come of the ShadowClan alliance, if Nightstar was around to realize the same thing she did?

Right now, she wanted nothing more than the pain to stop and to reverse back time.

Maybe if she had done more...

On his own walk out of their makeshift camp, Shrikestar noticed his mate slumped against a rock. Worrying that something had happened to her, he hurried over only to notice that she was okay. Well, physically okay. It was clear that something was bothering her. Standing behind her, the WindClan leader looked over his territory, and at the giant crack running through the moors. It was an ugly scarring of their beautiful lands. He gently laid himself next to Coyotegrin, laying his tail on her flank. "Coyotegrin, what's wrong?" Hopefully she would feel okay with telling him. They were mates, after all.

She sobbed deeper, feeling the warmth of Shrikestar against her. Wiggling closer to him, she let the emotions flow. In raspy, struggled breaths she replied. "My tunnels... They're gone. All gone. I have to restart- I'm useless. My only legacy. Gone." She wailed out once more before burying her face in his brown fur.

Shrikestar's eyes widened as he listened to his mate wail out. It tugged at his heartstrings. He gently nuzzled her, looking out at the territory. It was true, the tunnels were likely no longer useable. That didn't mean their work was done, though. "The land will heal, and so will we. Your legacy does not have to end here. It will be okay." He wasn't the best comforter, never really having had someone to do the same to him, but he hoped his words would help calm Coyotegrin. He hated to see her like this, so unlike the strong she-cat he knew and loved.