Baby's First Conscience [C]

Butterfly was one hundred percent sure the world was ending. Yeah, it'd been a whole sleep since the ground had purred. But she couldn't get rid of the brain-biting feeling that it was gonna come back even worse, do more than just knock her off her feet and into a puddle. Pa looked like he was scared too. She cuddled him to feel better, even though it was hard to make Pa not scared. He was scared of everything. Even Forest had been scared, and he was the bravest cat Butterfly knew. Apart from Ma, of course. They'd all been scared, and they cuddled together all night to make the purring go away. It did, so it must've worked. But ever since it happened, Butterfly kept feeling like it was just the start of a big apocalypse. Then everyone would die, butterflies and all. And that made her think about Periwinkle, who she hadn't spoken to in days in a rare show of stubbornness. But then she got to thinking, which was something she wasn't entirely used to doing this much, and it made her heart hurt like a monster had stepped on it. What if the world ended, and everyone got killed, and she wouldn't be able to talk to Peri again? Then the last thing she'd say to him would be 'I hate you', and then it'd be too late to say sorry because he'd be dead. And she'd be dead, too. And you can't come back after being dead, that's what Beechfang said, so she'd never ever get to talk to him or play with him ever again. And really it'd been rotten of her to yell at him like that. The butterfly wasn't even Butterfly's friend, and Peri was, so he was more important! Oh, she wished she hadn't shouted at him. The more she thought about it, the lower her ears dropped in guilt.

She looked around the alleyway with sad eyes, trying to find something to cheer her up. She spotted a butterfly, which lifted her spirits for a second before she was reminded once again that she'd been horrible to her brother right before the end of the world. She looked away from the insect and a pair of narrow green eyes met her own. "Peri!!" she exclaimed in genuine surprise. "Oh Periwinkle, I'm so so happy to see you- I was terrible and mean and I'm so so sorry, I promise I didn't mean it! You are my brother and I paw-pad promise I'll never shout at you or be cross with you again, even if you squish a hundred butterflies!" Her eyes were a bit misty at this point, but she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

The 'earth growl' had thrown the loner family for a loop, but unlike the others, Periwinkle had gotten over it. He admitted that it had been a bit nerve racking, but it hadn't lasted horribly long. Of course, his father had put the thought of the world ending into his sibling's heads, but he had bigger things to deal with; like Butterfly still giving him the cold shoulder.

While he didn't particularly enjoy conversations or talking in general, the silent-game which had been going on between him and his sister had begun to tug at his heartstrings, or something like that. Was he the most sensitive cat? Not in the slightest, but that didn't mean family wasn't important to him. A matter of fact, family actually meant a lot, even if they could be irritating at times... But alas, he'd lost his temper and now faced the consequences of his actions; his mother being even more annoyed at him than usual, though she always seemed on edge about something, and his siblings angry at him. He loved them, he really did... why couldn't they understand that he just wanted to keep them safe?

Having slipped out of the den to take his usual lonesome walk, the slender white and brown tom made his way back as the sun began to set along the horizon, not wanting to get caught up with any of the rogues that his father had talked about, though it wasn't like he couldn't take them. Sunflower was a coward and everything was scary, and Periwinkle doubted the stray cats in this area were actually as ruthless as he'd made them seem.

Kicking a pebble out from under him as he exited the alleyway, a voice caught the young tom's attention and looking up from the ground, he couldn't have been happier at the sight of who was talking to him. Picking up the pace, he padded over to Butterfly and did something he'd never done before in his short life thus far; he embraced another cat. Bumping his head against the spotted tabby's chest with a purr, a smile grew on his maw. She was finally talking to him! Of course per usual, his sister began to ramble on and he wasn't able to get a word in edgewise, but as he listened to her, he wasn't even mad about it. He should've apologized sooner, why hadn't he thought of that? Some big brother he was...

"No, no…" he mewed, shaking his head back and forth, his voice softer than how he spoke to his brother or father. He knew better than to be sharp with the she-cats in his life, and deep down he knew that he was a horrible brother for being so ill-mannered with them, especially Butterfly. "Don’t apologize, I’m the one who yelled at you first… I shouldn’t have squashed something you love. I’m s-sorry," Periwinkle continued, meeting her kind, amber gaze. He didn't apologize very often and the word 'sorry' seemed odd coming off his tongue, but he knew it needed to be said. "And I promise not to be a jerk to you. I'm bad at controlling my temper, you're not wrong to have been angry at me."

Having noticed the tears that began to form at the base of her eyes, Periwinkle gave his head a shake. With their father not being much help, he needed to continue to be a dependable tom for the family. That meant that he couldn’t cry, nor would he. "Don’t… don’t cry, you’ll make me cry," he huffed more stern than before as he forced down the knot that had formed in his throat. Nothing had ever even made him snivel before, but the grip that his sister held onto him with was like none other and he hoped that he could keep it together.

Periwinkle embraced Butterfly and the she-cat was almost bowled over, not prepared for the sudden motion. It took only a few seconds of finding her balance before she flung her own paws around him, squeezing back twice as hard as she nuzzled his forehead. She really was crying now, though they were happy tears.

With her brother's next words, Butterfly's eyes went wide with surprise. Why was Peri apologising? She'd all but forgotten what he'd done in the first place, except for the part where he squished the butterfly. And really butterflies were everywhere, and she didn't even know that butterfly, so there was no reason for him to be sorry at all! "Don't say sorry! It's my sorry, because I was the horrid one. If we both say sorry then there's no point in saying sorry at all!" She pulled away, wiping her eyes with one lanky foreleg. "I didn't love the butterfly anyhow. I didn't even know her name or anything. Look, there's a butterfly there, that means that there've been more butterflies born so really it didn't matter at all. I was being silly and I'm so so sorry, can be be friends again?" She wasn't sure if she was actually fine about the butterfly or just pretending for Peri, but either way she hoped her brother would believe her and stop apologising.

Listening as she explained herself, Periwinkle couldn't believe he'd even managed to put them at such a point in their lives. Did she actually care about the butterfly though? He didn't want to be skeptical of her, and she made it sound like she didn't... but his sister was one to care for the smallest things, including bugs, so maybe? Well, whatever she truly felt, he prayed that he didn't cross that line of being so insensitive again.

Perking his oddly large ears at her question, his expression lit up. "Yes!" he exclaimed with wide eyes, though he quickly realized he might've seemed a bit too enthusiastic about it. "Yes, I'd love that," he mewed again, this time a bit more of a calm manner. He loved his sister and of course wanted to be friends again more than anything, but that didn't mean he needed to look all emotion and such. "I promise to not be inconsiderate of you or your feelings again," the white and brown tom added with a firm nod of his head as to signify how serious he was about his promise to her.