It's Quiet Uptown [C]

Poppyshine

Rainpaw was found in the apprentice den. It was hard to say if he already had heatstroke before he laid down to rest, or if it hit him in his sleep. Poppyshine didn’t understand how it could have happened, not with how much Rainpaw enjoyed swimming in the cool water and how close of an eye Dovesight always kept on all of the children. But however it happened, it did, and RiverClan was left with one less cat. Poppyshine, with one less child…Owlshriek with one less child.

Poppyshine and Owlshriek had taken their own time alone, as had Rainpaw’s siblings. But Poppyshine knew that Owlshriek was devastated. She also knew that he was alone. With Mapleleaf gone, Owlshriek was the sole biological parent to Rainpaw’s litter, and Poppyshine knew him well enough at this point to understand that he was suffering in silence. That is why, after a few days to let Owlshriek think through things in his own way, after they had the vigil and Rainpaw was buried, Poppyshine told Owlshriek they were going out on a hunt together.

They did not actually go to hunt.

Poppyshine took Owlshriek to the river, but she stopped short several hundred paces and turned to Owlshriek. She sat, waited for him to do the same, and then leaned forward and began to groom his fur. It was a simple gesture, one she’d doe for many grieving cats before, but her heart ached with the same grief. Her own tears silently slipped down her face as she groomed his fur, and no matter how much she wanted to say, every word got stopped up on her tongue.

Owlshriek

For a while, Owlshriek resented Poppyshine for this. He needed to be alone. His litter was already devastated. Sleepycloud had withdrawan into herself quite a bit, and had hardly spoken since they found Rainpaw. But life continues, doesn't it? Except for Rainpaw and Owlshriek. For him, it ended. It was as if he tried to stop the river with his paws. The water would flow past him, and the tom could not stop the torrent from taking everything away one at a time. How unfair it was. To have to lose Mapleleaf, then Rainpaw. What could he have done differently? Why was he unable to do anything to protect them?

No, he kept moving when Maplespring died. He needed to stop. He needed to linger in the shadows of their camp, contemplating their demise and the cruelty of the forest. So, yes. Owlshriek resented the one cat he had loved his whole life. For pulling him by his duty to the clan to leave the place where Rainpaw lay buried and towards the rushing water. The rushing water he Could Not Stop. For a long heartbeat, yellow eyes gazed upon the torrent that ran high. Swept up by its roar and the silence around them, he finally sat.

He knew the tears the moment Poppyshine leaned in to begin grooming. For a moment, he thought they were her's. But his own spilled from his shut eyes. Owlshriek barely had the strength to say, sitting up. Each gentle lick was enough to push him over, to lay and never stand. Yet, it was her tears that kept him upright. He could feel them dripping onto his pelt despite her attempts to groom him.

She had taken care of them when Maplespring left. She loved each of them as much as Owlshriek did. His eyes finally parted to gaze at his childhood friend, vision swarming with blurred apparitions of her, running clear with every fresh drop. How unfair it was that he left himself to mourn and left the clan to continue. With rhythmic licks, Owlshriek mirrored her, gingerly cleaning the dirt from her pelt. Hoping with each that he might also heal her pain. After all, being deputy was not easy. Carrying the death of a child that was not yours, but yours, was an effort not many cats would understand. But for once, through his thick skull, he did.

Poppyshine

Poppyshine’s body quaked when Owlshriek began to groom her in return. The entire situation hurt so badly. Rainpaw was gone, and the only solace that Poppyshine could muster was that he was with Mapleleaf in StarClan. But she knew that Mapleleaf, as overjoyed as she must be to reunite with him, must be saddened that he could not live out his full life here. So much tragedy had befallen RiverClan as of late, and it felt like there was nothing that she could do to help her clan—not as the deputy, and not as a mother.

Her tongue stopped and she rested her head against the fur of Owlshriek’s shoulder. Tiny hiccupping words bubbled up to her lips at last as she mewed, “I’m so sorry, Owlshriek. I’m so sorry.” It felt she could keep no one safe or happy. Their crisis against SkyClan had been so narrowly averted, and it felt like they were finally entering a time of peace and prosperity—and then the death came, and then the predators, and now something as simple as heatstroke had claimed another life.

It felt like all she could say was sorry, and that’s all that her words devolved into as she pressed her face into his fur. She couldn’t make him feel better. She couldn’t make any of this better. Poppyshine was at a loss of anything she could do but cry for their loss.

Owlshriek

Strength. Was it something he lacked currently? Did his lack of strength make him a bumbling mess in Poppyshine's presence? The tom wasn't sure. One thing he felt was weak, and there was a numbness to his body that spread from nose to tail tip. Each gentle lick was a connection back to his body, and each lick of his own grounded him to her. There was another cat here, feeling just as weak and lost. While he hated to see her like that, Owlshriek was suddenly not alone. Neither of them could have done anything to protect Rainpaw. The world was cruel, and senseless events happened daily. Who were they to try and stop anything? They were two cats in a wide forest. Weak.

"No cat could have done anything, Poppyshine." He whispered, voice shockingly steady, though rough around the edges. "I-It's like trying to swim against the current." Owlshriek gazed out towards the river. It bubbled merrily over some rocks with little regard to the cats' agony right next to it. "We can try and swim all we can. Sometimes making progress. But--" The tom pressed his nose to her head that was buried into his flank. "Some things we can't swim against, and we are forced to follow the current."

Silence fell between them for a long moment. Was it weak to let the current take you? To let whatever in life come towards you instead of running away? "This may not be the best metaphor, forgive me. But..." He hummed, feeling the numbness vanish with each word he spoke. The pain was still there but not debilitating as before. "If we compare our life to the river, as we flow down it; Rocks, branches, even fallen trees will place themselves in front of us." He watched a small leaf fall from above, touching the water's surface and race down the current. "Perhaps we should behave like the water. And take what comes at us, and roll with the blows."

It wasn't to mean that they shouldn't be mourning. But it wasn't an option to let it cripple him as it had for the past few sunrises. Tears fell freshly once again, following the flow of his face and to the dirt below. With the thought of the river still in his mind, Owlshriek rubbed his head against hers, quietly resolving his pain as best as he could. Perhaps maybe he was strong. It took strength to share the pain with Poppyshine, and it took strength to keep moving forward.

Poppyshine

Poppyshine paused in her licks as Owlshriek spoke. She gave him her full attention, drinking in every word. To be like water in the river, following the current…It was a strange metaphor, and one that she had not expected. But she still listened, and as he spoke, she…understood. It was similar to what Cloverheart had told her before: acknowledge the tragedy, feel it, and accept it; then move on. It was not so easy, just as they could not move quite as fluidly as the water in the river, skirting past any fallen branches or rocks. But they would still keep moving forward, as awfully as it was.

“You’re right,” Poppyshine meowed. She rested her head atop his, allowing him to still lean against her in this moment of need. “Just like with Cloverheart, or…or Mapleleaf. The pain will pass eventually.” Oh, but it hurt so badly now. Just as it had with Cloverheart and then Mapleleaf, the grief tore into her in a way that it felt like she would never recover, no matter what. But deep in her heart she knew from experience that she would. “But. Until the pain passes, Owlshriek, I’m here for you. And if it ever returns. You’re not the whole river, you’re just a drop of water, and I’m a drop of water with you. We’ll travel the turbulent current together, through it all.”

Poppyshine pulled back and tried to smile hopefully at him. It was weak, and forced, but the thought was authentic: she was there for him and would do all she could to help him, no matter what. “I’m lucky to have you, Owlshriek. I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you, and your kits. I’m glad I got to know Rainpaw.”

Owlshriek

Man, she really knew how to make him tear up again, huh? Owlshriek remained silent for a while, a small smile hidden on his face despite the tears that renewed themselves. Words slipped from his mouth just as tears slipped past his cheeks. "I'm a very lucky cat to have you supporting me." He began, letting his head rest. "And they are very lucky cats to have also had you there for them. It isn't often you have such a selfless cat by your side." Owlshriek managed a sigh, leaning away to be able to look Poppyshine in the eyes.

"But being as selfless and kind as you are isn't easy." Yellow eyes searched her looking for something he wasn't sure of. "So, if you need anything. I'm there." The smile grew just slightly. "Even if it's for a rainy day, patrol or picking ticks off of elders. I'm here to help you too." A laugh bubbled past his throat despite him. "Or, if you need some cat to give you a mouse-brained metaphor, I'm that tom."