i'll be right beside you (c)

There was an ever-present lull of peace in the air. Greenleaf's hazy warmth made Perchstar feel almost drowsy, as if she could slip into sleep at any moment. Perhaps if she returned to her den, she would find Sleepypaw curled up in her nest, as she had done so many times before as a kit. However, that wasn't what she was doing this afternoon. Since Poppyshine had become pregnant, she had been able to spend less and less time in the territory. Of course, that was perfectly acceptable. Though the leader had never been pregnant herself, she knew that it was a difficult process, one that resulted in pain and discomfort as well as a lack of energy. However, today was beautiful, and just a little less hot than normal, with a cool breeze that eased off the edge of the sunlight. It was the perfect day to go for a stroll. And though it would likely be a short walk, Poppyshine needed a little bit of time to breathe fresh air and stretch her legs. Being cooped up in a nursery all the time couldn't be good for one's physical or mental health.

And so, they had gone out into the territory together. When was the last time they'd gone on a walk alone like this? Surely not since they had become leader and deputy. It was... nice. Perchstar did not smile as often or as easily as some other cats. Still, there was a soft relaxation on the normally stoic leader's features as they meandered aimlessly through RiverClan territory. Their pace was slow, so as to not rush the encumbered Poppyshine. Soft, sun-warmed sand spread easily beneath their paws, and the gentle bubbling of the distant river lent a nice ambiance to the area. I really need to get out more often. When has RiverClan been anything but beautiful? It's a shame to spend so much time in my den, and not appreciate the silence of nature like I used to. Her blue eyes seemed more like a melted puddle than the usual ice as she glanced down at her companion. "Let me know when you get tired and want to head back," she said. "But we can walk as long as you like. It's nice today." Her simple phrases conveyed the contentment she felt, more than any long sentences would have. The leader was not verbose unless situations called for it. She preferred it to be like this... calm, quiet words interspersed with birdsong, walking alongside her dear friend.

It wasn't very often that Perchstar could allow herself to relax. The way she was, her mind was usually working on problems and solutions even when her body took a brief moment to rest. But now... in the sweet, warm territory, next to one of her favorite cats, her mind was deliciously blank. It was strange, but not in a bad way. She merely let her thoughts wander. And for once, they did not wander into her normal anxious, circular thinking. It was... quiet. Her mind was quiet. Unlike her lonely walks as deputy, where a moment to herself would be met with self-loathing, she felt at peace. Content. Though she had never purred before in her life, she felt like this might be a situation in which she could do it. Nodding in agreement with Poppyshine, she smiled slightly. They should do this more often.

However, they were not the only ones enjoying the abundance of prey that greenleaf had brought. Unbeknownst to either of them, a lone fox-- old and battle-scarred from several encounters with RiverClan warriors-- had taken this very moment to emerge from its den and walk along the territory, hunting several smaller mammals that crossed its path. While Perchstar and Poppyshine wandered along, they unknowingly crossed the fox's path. Moons' worth of stolen prey and clawed disagreements with the cats of this area had left the fox feeling bitter and hungry. So, when it saw the two cats close by, it jumped into their path with a blood-chilling snarl. There was a deep anger in its eyes. Its imposing form stood looming over them, with spittle flying from its sharp teeth.

One moment was all it took to shatter the peace that Perchstar had finally allowed herself to feel. In one moment, it was all taken away. They had been walking together, relaxed and smiling-- now, a fox stood in their way. The previously light and relaxed air was now heavy with tension, laden with the fear-scent from Poppyshine and the thick stench of the predator before them. This was no idle encounter. Muscles locked and battle-ready, Perchstar recognized the look in the fox's eyes. It was the same as when Ashflight had been attacked. There was no chance of this ending without bloodshed... there would have to be a fight. But why? Why did this happen now, the one time that she finally let her guard down? The one time that Poppyshine was physically incapable of fighting? Nerves tingling with adrenaline, Perchstar's eyes shifted towards the calico next to her. A few memories flashed into her mind-- a small apprentice bobbing in a wild river; a blood-stained she-cat lying on the ground of camp; a slight form, trembling, pressed into hers, while dark ghosts leered at them in the starless clearing. She had protected her friend before. She would do so again. She tried to push away the other memory that was invading her mind... that of Ashflight, bloodied, hanging limply from the jaws of a fox. This time, she wouldn't fail. Resolve tightening around her eyes, trying not to feel the fear that was inevitably creeping up her spine, Perchstar turned back to face the predator.

But in that one moment of contemplation, the fox had already decided on its course of action. Noticing the obviously weaker cat of the two would be an easier target, it bared its fangs, and already had begun the action of lunging forward to catch the smaller she-cat in its jaws. "Poppy!" The panicked scream tore itself from her mouth, even as her limbs moved of their own accord. She would not let her die. Pushing the heavily pregnant queen aside, Perchstar lunged forward, into the fox's jaws-- and slashing her own claws into its throat. Even as the fox bit down on her surprisingly fragile frame, it let out a bloodcurdling shriek when its throat was torn open. The fox would not survive the blow. Yet, it seemed... neither would she. Sharp fangs sliced through her skin, crushing thin bones and opening wide gashes that gushed hot red blood. Perchstar tried her best not to cry out in pain, but a single desperate whimper got out nonetheless. It hurt... stars, it hurt. She'd experienced wounds before, but nothing like this crushing moment of absolute agony. It was even worse than the pain of the lives she'd received at the Highrock. Those had simply been a shadow of this feeling; the sudden wounds opening up on every inch of her, piercing deep enough to break entire limbs. It was a strangely out-of-body experience. So, this is how it feels to die.

Slowly, almost unbelievably slowly, the fox panted out a few dying whines and sunk to the ground. It had lived so long, just to be killed by yet another of the cats that had made its life so difficult. And as the fox dropped with a heavy thud, its jaws loosened. Thick teeth slid out of the wounds they had opened, and Perchstar vaguely felt herself tumble forward out of the sticky, bloody maw. Her body had passed the point of pain now. She no longer felt anything... just that it was a struggle to breathe, and her body would cease trying its desperate efforts to live any second now. All she could hope was that she didn't look too horrifying. She didn't want to cause any more problems for Poppyshine. Well, too late for that now... I should never have suggested we go on a walk. This is all my fault. She could have been hurt. Wait... she hadn't been hurt, right? Was her friend safe?! Forcing her eyes open with the last of her strength, Perchstar's heavy-lidded gaze frantically scanned the area until she saw the deputy. Unharmed. A shuddering sigh of relief left her body... Her eyes glazed over. She'd done it. Poppyshine was safe. With that sigh, the last remnant of life fled, and the leader's crushed body went limp.

Peace... Quiet.

Perchstar was vaguely aware that her eyes were closed. A cool breeze ruffled through her fur, and waving grasses tickled her nose. It smelled familiar. Where was she? She was so tired.... She must be dreaming. Yes, that was it. Why else would she feel so comfortable? Poppyshine had told her to rest, after all. So it was best that she--

"Poppyshine." Remembering with a sudden jolt, Perchstar sat up quickly, her blue eyes flashing open. She-- she was dead. She had died. Around her was scenery that she recognized from before: a dark, starry field, covered in dewy grass. A vast, glowing sky above, with perpetual nighttime. StarClan. That settled it. She was definitely dead. But then... she was a leader, right? That meant she couldn't be dead permanently. That was just one life. She had eight... eight more. She'd almost forgotten. Her tensed shoulders relaxed, and she sighed. That had been a close call. What if Poppyshine had died instead? She would never have forgiven herself. It was better for her to die. Still... she had died.

It was time for her to return, then... wasn't it? She had never done this before. Perchstar turned around, and was shocked to find that she wasn't alone. There was another cat in front of her. A very familiar one... the one who had greeted her last time she found herself in this scene. "Hollyleaf?" she inquired, tone betraying her surprise.

"Perchstar," Hollyleaf mewed, her tone calm as usual — yet a tone of urgency stood beneath it, now sharper than ever. "The pain of death is very real. It's something all StarClan cats know, including myself." It'd been a while since she had last seen Perchstar from her leader ceremony. She wondered if sometimes, the leader would still think of her and the others that had also gifted their lives to her. Thinking back to grief would be painful... But it felt good to be remembered. Not for the living to mourn her, but to appreciate her being part of the sacrifices that helped them win their battle with the Dark Forest.

"But you mustn't let that distract you. Poppyshine is still waiting for you. You've sacrificed yourself for her... That's what an honorable leader, as well as any other warriors, would've done." The mackerel tabby she-cat nodded, a soft smile appearing. "I didn't expect to see you again this soon. Nonetheless, it wouldn't be a very long chat, as much as I'd love to be able to talk to you again... She must be worried. You've lost your first life, but it was an honorable one. I'm glad."

"You're strong, Perchstar. A lot stronger than you might think you are. In both ways — mentally and physically. I'm here to remind you that you still have eight more lives — eight more lives of those who had also entrusted you to give you their wishes and lives." The she-cat paused for a short while, staring into Perchstar's eyes. "Go on, Perchstar. I trust in you that you'll use your lives wisely. You'll do alright."

When the StarClan warrior spoke, Perchstar listened. Face growing solemn, she nodded. What it was like to die... Hollyleaf would know that very well. Despite the unfortunate circumstances, it was nice to see her again. A slight feeling of guilt rippled through her, remembering Poppyshine. She was probably devastated. She probably needed her. "You're right... I should go," she agreed. With a small smile, she offered Hollyleaf a deep nod of respect. "Thank you again." With that, the starry landscape-- and the warrior on it-- began to melt away before her eyes, just as a dream would when one stirred.

--

The first thing that hit Perchstar's restored senses was the wailing. Instinctively, her body tensed up at the sound. Was Poppyshine okay? Had the fox somehow lived and hurt her as well?! Wrenching her eyes open, the newly resurrected leader whipped her head around to look at the area. No... the fox was dead. Its body lay immobile a few mouse-lengths away, glassy eyes looking into the distance. As for Poppyshine... A familiar calico form was buried into her fur. She was the source of the heartbroken cries. It was nearly impossible to get up with the heavier-than-usual queen leaning so hard into her. Instead, Perchstar raised her tail and gently wrapped it around her friend's form. This is all my fault. Though blood coated her fur, the leader realized that her wounds were mostly healed over. Light scarring remained, but nothing more. "I'm okay, Poppy," she murmured, voice tired from the quick recovery. "Careful; you'll stain your fur."