Birdpaw’s Moonstone Journey

Well, at least now it was official. Briarthorn hadn’t expected to be named deputy, but after some thought, realized that it wasn’t entirely our of order. There was a bit of hesitation when it came to accepting the position, but ultimately, she found herself struggling to say no- as if she owed it to the Clan. She still felt awkward performing ceremonies and escorting apprentices to the moonstone, but at least she didn’t feel as if she were stepping on toes anymore. Taking her own apprentice to the moonstone felt like an honor, anyway, so as she walked alongside Birdpaw, she tried to focus on that rather than everything else going on.

Finally, the duo reached the mothermouth. ”It’s going to be extremely dark. Stay as close as you comfortably can to me, and follow the sounds of my pawsteps. Once we reach the moonstone, you can settle down next to it, and when you’re ready, touch your nose to it. StarClan will greet you shortly after.” With a quick nod, Briarthorn dived into the cave, navigating it with a bit more ease now that she had a little more experience doing so. After some time, the light from the stone signified their arrival, and Briarthorn waved her tail toward it, encouraging her apprentice to go forward.

When Briarthorn had summoned her midday, Birdpaw was more enthusiastic than normal. She wasn't just an apprentice anymore- now, she was the deputy's apprentice, a fact that thrilled her greatly. She had been expecting just another training session (battle, she hoped, but she held her tongue against begging), or something less exciting, like tending to the elders. But the fluffy tabby had arrived with a mouthful of loosely arranged herbs, and said something about the Moonstone. That caught the apprentice's attention in an instant; if they were making the trek all the way out to Highstones... that meant Briarthorn thought she was nearly ready to become a warrior. Tail curled over her back, she followed her mentor out of camp with a trot, an eager grin lighting her expression. For once, she kept relatively quiet, focusing on the journey instead of chattering on.

By the time they reached Highstone's, most of her pep had been lost, and the large apprentice was dragging her paws and tail as they scaled the stony features. It was dark now, and the trip had exhausted her. But they were here. The Moonstone was hiding somewhere in those tunnels, and beyond that was warriorhood. When Briarthorn spoke to her, Birdpaw nodded with a soft hum. "I won't get lost. It can't be that bad." She mewed, snorting softly. With that, they descended into the tunnels, and it was... worse than she thought. Not bad, but it was tighter than she thought it would be, and dark. More than once she bumped into Briarthorn as she tripped over herself on the way down, muttering half-hearted apologies. Soon enough, light spilled in front of them, and she couldn't lie and say the Moonstone wasn't dazzling to see instead of just hearing about it. With a look towards her mentor, she sighed and stepped closer to the stone, settling down beside it and pressing her nose to the surface, letting sleep wash over her.

When she opened her eyes, a starry field was stretched out in front of her, the sky washed a gentle purple and trees lining the horizon. "Is this it?" She snorted. There was no fanfare, no ring of cats waiting to congratulate her. But... it was still pretty, at least. Settling back on her haunches, she looked around, waiting to see who would show up to deliver their divine knowledge upon her.

"This is it." Came a soft, but friendly enough voice from behind Birdpaw. Birdpaw... Huh. "Strange, I couldn't see mom naming a second Birdkit... I suppose she didn't have the heart to tell your father no?" The willowy, fluffy gray tabby circled around Birdpaw, head tipped as she eyed the younger apprentice. Gray tabby and white, pale green eyes. Well, at least she hadn't been named Wren. "My name is Birdsong. I left Skyclan for the lies Beechface - Beechfang now, I suppose - let me believe. Ravenclaw raised me as her daughter, and some days I wish I truly was. I spent some time as a loner, then wound up in Riverclan with a mate and kits. I suspect she'd be proud of that." Impossible to tell whether she meant Ravenclaw or Beechfang, but it didn't matter. The comment had been laden with sarcasm anyways.

A voice rose from behind her, and Birdpaw jumped to her paws, spinning around to eye whoever had approached. Their green eyes were nearly the same, and that made the apprentice pause for a second, looking thoughtful. For a moment, she looked keen and almost wondrous; but then the starry warrior went on, and Birdpaw's ears flattened, her sharp gaze narrowing. "What lies?" She mewed, voice tense. Stars, wait- "You're my sister?" A little bit of indignation prickled under her fur. I don't want to be named after the one that abandoned SkyClan! What in the Dark Forest is that? Birdpaw snorted, and her claws flexed to press into the soft earth, a reflex to keep her from speaking those thoughts aloud. Her next words spilled out though, her snappish tone left unchecked, "Of all the Clans you could have run away to, you left for RiverClan? You have to be lying about something- either about running away, or about being my mother's child."

"Mm, sister." Birdsong agreed mildly. "I knew Beechface the medicine cat; stern, overbearing, reckless... Dedicated, I suppose, in her own way. She resented being a medicine cat, resented that she couldn't have what most everyone else in the clan could. Truthfully, I don't understand what my father saw in her." At her next words, Birdsong let out a snort of her own, "Oh, she would've hated seeing me there, I'm sure. I spent time wandering as a loner with my cousin, met a Riverclanner that I'd seen at gatherings a couple times. We got to talking and well, you can't help who you love. I was never mad at her about that. She let me believe she was only the stern, hardtail aunt until my father was on his deathnest. That was the first time I'd ever yelled at anyone, you know? It wasn't the only reason I left, but I couldn't sit there and wonder how many clanmates had known the truth and deliberately kept it from me and my sister." Birdsong shook her head with a sigh, "She thought she was doing the right thing, I guess. In some ways she was right, Ravenclaw was a better mother, a better cat, than she was. She raised me, mentored me, and I looked up to her. I don't know how she could stand it for as long as she did, knowing the cat she had loved, who she pretended to have the happy family with, was with her sister. Yet she treated me and my siblings as if we were her own. Still, I would rather have been told the truth from the start."

Lying about being Beechfang's daughter? Ha. "You sound almost as outraged as I did when I found out. Can't say I blame you. A Thunderclanner mistook me for her on the border, if you can believe that. She was an elder, her sight was probably starting to fail her. I thought nothing of it at the time." She mewed, dropping into a seated position with her fluffy tabby tail wrapping around her paws.

Ears still flat, Birdpaw listened as this supposed sister- not just that, but her apparent namesake, something that had started to bother her horribly -went on about how she'd ended up in RiverClan; and, infinitely more important, her feelings about their mother. Eyes narrowing, the apprentice stared at the gray she-cat, her gaze sharp and steely. "Don't compare us." She spat firmly, and the harshness in her tone shocked even herself. "I'm proud to be a member of SkyClan, and I'm not such a mouse-hearted coward that I would abandon those that raised me for- what was it again? Giving you a better life?" She huffed, and a subtle growl followed the sound. This Birdsong made it sound like she resented Beechfang for little more than looking after her own kits. This Birdsong sounded petty and selfish.

The large apprentice cleared her throat, and when she spoke next her meow was composed and formal, though she couldn't keep the irritation out of her tone completely. "So my mother, instead of raising you and your littermates herself under scorn and scrutiny, gave you to a relative. She gifted you a chance to be raised as a normal warrior, and you resent her for that?" Whiskers twitching, Birdpaw held her gaze firm, never looking away from the cat that had come to her. If this is how StarClan wants to approach me, I hope I never return until I wind up dead. Voice dripping with condescension she'd done little to earn, Birdpaw went on steadily, "Now, please correct me if I'm wrong, since of course I wouldn't know anything of SkyClan leadership at the time... but would you rather she had been honest since your birth? Had she taken the chance and come forward from the beginning, to risk being disposed of her rank- or, worse, exiled for taking actions against the code. Would you have preferred that? Being raised thin and hungry, on the fringes of a life you could have had?" Wrinkling her nose in disgust, the apprentice finally turned away, focusing on some distant, starry point. "Do not talk so poorly about my mother. You're just-" Her professionalism faltered, and she stuck her tongue out as she muttered, "sensitive. that's all."

"If getting away from the lies and warmongering is a better life, than yes." Birdsong replied, seeming for all the world to ignore the anger of the apprentice in front of her. "Count yourself lucky, our birth mother adores you and your siblings as much as she ignored me and mine when we were kits." Beechfang had visited the nursery and played with them, sure, but there had always been that careful sense of distance and an unwillingness to get too close even as she'd looked out for their physical safety. "At least she's trying to do better with you, I suppose... Though you're already dangerously like her, from what I can tell. That's not a good thing." Beechfang was trying, sure. But Birdsong sometimes wondered if it was already too late for her.

"You are young, and naïve, and blindly loyal. I hope that doesn't wind up with you getting hurt, sister."

Birdsong remained cordial as she spoke, something that made Birdpaw want to scream and leap at her, claws outstretched. How could she stay so composed?! The apprentice's tail lashed and despite every muscle in her body twitching to spring, she held herself in place. "I'm sure she had her reasons." She mumbled, though her mew had lost its heat. The anger still simmered apparent in her expression, her body language, though it had left her voice to be replaced with a more mild frustration. Twice, she twitched in response to the warrior's words: the first, when Birdsong said she was just like Beechfang, dangerously so; the second, when Birdsong referred to her as sister. Not harshly, as Birdpaw had been using it; like they were siblings. More than blood. Her claws flexed to press into the starry earth, and she ducked her head, looking suddenly shy.

"But I want to be like her." Even as she said it, it felt... almost wrong somehow. She wasn't about to let a relative she never would have met in life change her opinions on her mother; she loved Beechfang dearly, and would have fought every predator in the forest, every cat that wanted to do her harm. But it had clicked with her, that Beechfang had abandoned her previous litter. She wrestled privately with the conflicting notions- that her loving, if stiff, mother had disposed of her last kits, and the fact she must have had good reason. Especially as a medicine cat when they were born... Birdpaw shook her head, and let out a heavy sigh. "I am not naïve. I am smart, and brave, and good with my claws. I wouldn't be here otherwise. Beechfang is different now. She isn't the cat you knew, and you can't make me hate her. I- I trust her. If I'm just like her, then so be it. That's how it ought to be. She'll be proud of me."