Forestpaw’s Moonstone Journey

❒ The tom blinked open his eyes as he slowly sat up in his nest at the nudge he'd received by the medicine cat apprentice, Fuzzypaw. It was only recently that he'd began to sleep back in his own nest after moons of confinement in the medicine cat's den. Despite how much he appreciated both the meddies, he was glad he was out of their den. He hadn't had... the best memories from that place. Anyway, Fuzzypaw was clearly here for a different reason but it was escaping his mind as to what it could be. What was going on? It took a bit for his mind to finally catch up before a smile took over his prior sleepy expression. It was the day he'd be going to the Moonstone! A rush of kit-like excitement bubbled in his chest. "Morning, Fuzzypaw!" he greeted easily, eyes finally losing their bleariness. He stretched up onto his paws before following closely behind the other.

❒ Once the two were inside the medicine cat's den—with Forestpaw barely suppressing a shiver, he eyed the two herb piles with a hint of weariness. He'd heard from others that they weren't the most pleasant to consume. However, that shouldn't matter to him anymore. he'd already fallen behind on his training due to... multiple unfortunate events—mainly the illness that had befallen the young tom soon after Ratrunner's death. That had weakened him so much that his training was halted and he was told to recover. Now, however, he was finally strong enough to continue. He wasn't at his best but it was good enough. he didn't want to waste any more time anyway.

❒ With a crinkle of his nose, Forestpaw consumed the herbs with haste—only pausing to breathe. He licked his maw with a flinch before offering the other tom a shaky smile. "I'm finished,"" he stated with a nod. He then followed the other to the camp's entrance. "I'm ready to go,"" he meowed softly. His tail was twitching with anxiety. Don't get him wrong! He was more than excited to get to speak with a Starclan cat this day. However, he was nervous about who'd he'd get to meet. His heart was urging for his late mentor but at the same time, it prayed for that not to happen. What would Ratrunner say about his recent illness? Would he be disgusted by such a weak apprentice? The fluffy tom bit the inside of his cheek. Well, there was no turning back now...

❒ Urging his anxiety to relax, the apprentice nodded with a minuscule smile as he trailed after the other tom. Forestpaw hoped that the journey would be enough to distract himself from his nerves and wayward thoughts. He hoped it wouldn't just be wishful thinking...

❒ By the time they'd arrived at Mothermouth, Forest was quite tired. The adrenaline had gone alongside the sun. Only the serene darkness of the night remained. At Fuzzypaw's words, Forest could only nod, a twinge of wariness sparked in his chest before he pushed it away. He trusted the young medicine cat apprentice.

❒ The cavern didn't take too long to reach. The tunnels had been a bit tricky to traverse for him but he managed while sticking close to the other tom. The moment he laid his eyes on the rock, he sucked in a breath. It was mystical and quite beautiful. he can certainly see why it was named the "Moonstone". It shone just as bright as the moon.

❒ Forestpaw was startled out of his thoughts when the other apprentice spoke up again. "O-Oh. Alright," he meowed slowly as he turned back to face the stone. Well... here goes nothing. The fluffy tom settled down in front of the Moonstone and then pressed his nose to its cold surface. He let out a shaky sigh before he felt himself drift off.

❒ The sudden weight that was pressed against his shoulder roused him from his slumber. At first, he was a bit confused as to where he was or who the presence beside him was but the moment his mind had finally caught up, his eyes snapped all the way open. His amber eyes flickered though five different emotions at once as he stared right at the face of his late mentor. Starclan, Moonstone, Ratrunner... His breath caught in his throat and for a second, he couldn't breathe at all. This felt like it was too good to be true. The last time he'd seen Ratrunner was when... he didn't really want to think of that right now. Right now, he had another chance to speak with one of the very few cats he had truly looked up to since the moment they had first met. Suddenly, air flowed right back into his lungs and he greedily gulped in a few breaths. He felt his eyes mist up but he paid them no mind. The nerves of earlier returned to him alongside bewilderment and gratefulness. "Ratrunner-" he croaked, "I'm here... Y-You're here..." He bit the inside of his cheek to preserve what little composure he had left. However, it wasn't really working no matter how hard he tried. The pesky tears he'd been trying to hold back barreled on through and he couldn't stop them even if he tried.

❒ He couldn't help but blurt out, "I-I'm sorry!" His frame shook like a leaf as he urged the sobs that wracked his body to just stop. It was like he was back to being the teary little kit—so tiny and so pitiful. Someone so unlike the warriors he aspired to be. However, despite this, he just wasn't in the mood to care. Ratrunner was here. He wasn't just a lump of fur and blood laying on the ground—so still, too still... Without much warning, he surged forward and pressed his face against the starry warrior's chest, desperation and anguish marring his every movement. "P-Please! I-I'm so sorry!" 'I couldn't help you! I couldn't help anyone!' He wanted to stay like that, face shielded from the world. His mentor's scent was different—more serene, fresh, and new in a way—but still safe. It wasn't like Ratrunner could ever be unsafe. It just wasn't possible. Just like Iceheart or Frostgaze. They all smelled like safety and comfort. He missed this...

❒ It took a few moments for Forestpaw to finally get his bearings together. He was feeling more tired than ever before, even more than during the worst of his illness. However, there was also a sense of... peace within him. It was almost like the fire within him was rekindled, the fire that had become mere embers was now slowly building up once more. All the sadness and misery he'd been holding deep in his heart had finally surfaced but now that he'd let it all out, he felt lighter. They were no longer a burden to him, at least, not as harsh of a burden as before. The young tom slowly lifted his face away from Ratrunner's chest, eyes weary yet relieved. He couldn't meet his late mentor's gaze just yet.

❒ The apprentice dipped his head. "S-Sorry for that... It's just that so much had happened and I-I wasn't able to do anything to help. I thought I was stronger than this but I guess I was wrong... I-I'm sorry for not being the apprentice you hoped I'd be. B-But I don't want to give up, though! It's just hard getting out of a hole after having fallen so far down... I still want to make you proud, even if it's j-just a little bit. I just need help..." For the few minutes he'd been in Starclan, he'd already apologized like a dozen times. He just couldn't help it. He felt the need to do so after having failed so many times.

❒ It took a bit to calm his ragged breathing but he was soon calm enough to also think through the haze. He remained cuddled up to his late mentor's form despite no longer breaking down in despair and guilt. The comfort Ratrunner's reassurances brought him satiated his nerves. He drank every last word—memorized every last sentence. Ratrunner was proud of him. He was sincere and he could detect any lies entangled within his words. This was more than Forestpaw could ask for. Forgiveness had never been more powerful.

❒ At last, the young tom sat up to face his mentor, a shaky smile was in place. "I-I never knew how much I had wanted to hear this. You're not blaming me... I-I was so scared today. I was sure you'd hate me and how useless I was to even do anything." A faraway look plagued his eyes. His voice sounded incredulous yet he was anything but. He was still in slight shock but his mind was finally catching up and it was slowly starting to accept the truth. "I never knew y-you'd gone through something similar... I'm sorry about what you went through. I assume that since you can say it now that you've spoken with her here." The similarities were abundant between them. Perhaps it had been fate that had swayed Frostgaze to put him under the charge of Ratrunner. Anything was a possibility.

❒ He dipped his head, a bit bashful at receiving the older tom's reassuring compliments. "T-Thank you, Ratrunner. I'm more than honored to have had you as my mentor. I will always look up to you... You have no idea how much you mean to me and how much you talking with me meant. I'm sure you have an idea, though," he giggled breathily. He then gave the dark-furred warrior a stern haze then shook his head. "No. You should never be sorry about things you couldn't control. The Dark Forest took everyone by surprise. You wanted to keep the ones you love as safe as you could a-and you accomplished it. Let's promise each other that we have to try and not blame ourselves if something goes wrong. I don't think we can handle any more of this stress." He purred lightly then smiled a tiny, lopsided smile.

❒ He cleared his throat before he could choke up again. "Swiftheart and the others miss you dearly. Do- Do you have anything you'd like me to pass on to them?" His smile brightened at the thought of his clanmates. He loved them just as dearly. If they were anything like Ratrunner, they were probably just as forgiveful. He needed to speak with them about things. Ratrunner had given him the confidence he needed to do it.