darkpaw's warrior ceremony

Grief.

There was no doubt that the circumstances weighed heavily on the clan right now. His own mind was saturated with exhaustion and pain. It felt selfish and out of place to even consider his own feelings now. After everything that had impacted the entirety of Thunderclan, and the moon he'd spent withdrawn, this was a time for making it up to them. As much as he could.

All of the clan had fought valiantly, apprentices alongside warriors. Stoatstar had seen their bravery and the claw marks that marred their pelts. Perhaps, like after Minkstar's death, there could still be hope and celebration. And so, he decided to hold a warrior ceremony, "Gather beneath the highrock for a clan meeting."

Darkpaw limped over to the Highrock and sat below it. He'd heal from his injuries, but they certainly smarted for now. He looked up at Stoatstar, his eyes clearly distant as his mind was busy with it's own thoughts. The Dark Forest was gone. His father he assumed had gone with them. So now what? What was left to do?

A rift had formed between the pair of toms, despite their seldom interaction. Darkpaw had seemed determined from birth to cause problems and sulk in the unfortunate circumstance of his parentage. Stoatstar had never held disdain for the young cat, in fact, he often saw more of Waterlily in her kit than Dawnhawk. He wondered if Darkpaw ever realized it himself. Flicking his tail, he stared down at the odd-coated apprentice for a moment. The way his eyes linger spoke of the thoughts that swam in his mind. With the rather unpleasant disposition he'd displayed, and biting words directed at him, ones that had glanced off in previous circumstances... the leader wondered now how the young cat saw him. And he almost cared.

"Darkpaw, come forward." He finally summoned the apprentice with the usual flickering of his tail. There was no doubt in his mind that Darkpaw deserved a warrior title after fighting so bravely for the clan. Perhaps, after Softfall, there should have been. Swallowing back the bile at the memory of Softfall, he pressed on, "Your bravery in the fight against the Dark Forest has helped to liberate the clan and I believe there is nothing left for you mentor to teach you. Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?" Eyes studied the young cat's features, searching for answers that a verbal answer would not provide.

Darkpaw's attention snapped to Stoatstar upon hearing his name. He blinked afterward too, for that was the most compliment he'd heard from his leader. Once he realized what was happening, he nodded, his heart quickening. "I do." He said confidently, trying at first to keep his expectations low, but in the end, failing.

Confidence rang in the response. Such a thing was a rather neutral trait - any cat could be assured in their own intentions. Darkpaw had proven himself to have a sharp tongue and brooding mannerisms. Neither spoke of any ill-intentions. In some ways, the leader felt like he was navigating rough terrain, similar to that of Softfall but not quite the same. Stoatstar suppressed the swallow that threatened to come instinctively and instead let it stick in his throat. Darkpaw was his own cat, guided by the paws of Thunderclan.

But hadn't that been Softfall as well?

"From now on, you will be known as Darkspirit. We welcome you as a full warrior of Thunderclan. Tonight you will sit vigil and guard the clan." His eyes lingered for a second longer, a torrent brewing behind those orange depths. But as the clan called out the name of the new warrior, he simply flicked his tail and leaped down from the highrock. There were so many things running through his mind, far too many to sort through after these moons - especially when he was recovering. There would be time for troubled thoughts later.

Darkspirit... Darkspirit... The tom smiled wide enough he thought his face was going to split. For a few seconds he was genuinely happy. As he looked into the eyes and expression of his leader however, he noted the lack of true pride or joy. Why? Wasn't this supposed to be-

Darkspirit. His father... he'd been a dark spirit technically... The new warrior's face slowly fell. Oh... All of his happiness was gone in that instant. What had sounded like an amazing name quickly turned into a haunting taunt. Darkspirit heard the clan chant the name, no longer as a cheer, but as an echoing reminder of who his father was.

This was what Stoatstar had wanted wasn't it? The young tom's ears flattened and he withdrew into himself. He and Stoatstar weren't necessarily close, but he never expected him to do this. Sit a silent vigil tonight? Anger slowly built in place of embarrassment and confusion. "Yeah... gladly." He growled, though his voice wasn't loud. He left the clearing with his belly nearly touching the ground and hot tears in his eyes. He'd much rather be alone now anyway.