Nightpaw's Moonstone Journey

Frostgaze woke quickly with the setting of the sun, quickly padding from his nest to the medicine den. Basilpaw had prepared two herb bundles for him, and Nightpaw. Picking them up, one by one, Frostgaze delivered them just outside of the apprentice's den. Poking his head inside, he could just barely see the still sleeping form of Nightpaw, only distinguishable by his small white patches. Silently approaching, he prodded the apprentice quickly. "Wake up, it's time to go to the Moonstone." With that, he retreated back outside of the den, beginning to swallow his own bundle of herbs. His nose scrunched, and it took him a moment to get them down. They truly were just as terrible as when he went on his own Moonstone journey. In all fairness, Frostgaze hadn't expected to be taking any apprentices on Moonstone journeys any time soon. Though Basilbloom's health could be finicky at times, and the deputy was technically the most disposable of the higher ranks. Medicine Cats would heal, Leaders lead, and Deputies are backups, though import to rank structure nonetheless. It was easy to send them off for a little while though, and this event was no different.

Nightpaw jerked away, blinking the blurriness of his sleep away as he struggled to focus on Frostgaze despite being so bright in colour. Shaking out his fur and giving himself a moment to wake up a bit more, the growing tom evaded his den-mates sleeping bodies and got out without waking anyone else. Nightpaw was surprised that he hadn't been stomped on more, with how despite his white nose being the only marker that a cat was there and not a deep void, he was practically invisible, having taken after Burningwing and his disappearing into the shadows schtick. Once out of the den Nightpaw stretched out before meeting up with Frostgaze, a yawn leaving his maw. "Ready to go whenever you are." Nightpaw mewed.

"Do not forget to each your herbs," Frostgaze mewed quickly, wishing for them to be underway quickly. As soon as Nightpaw had finished, he began to lead the apprentice out of camp, and through the territory. Was it a truly wise time to speak to the apprentice about his mentor? About what his mentor had said before? It felt as if it were a last-ditch effort to keep the apprentice from being converted to views that would only hurt the clan, and Nightpaw, in the future. It was, there was no way that the deputy could ignore the facts. So he began to speak as the pair tracked onward. "Nightpaw, I would like to tell you something about your mentor. I fear that he is telling you things that will hurt this clan, so I wish to explain something about Burningwing to you. Take it as you will. I have brought back rogue kits before, that much is very true, and I have accepted them into my family as I have none, not since I was very young. Every time I have done so, Burningwing has said things that directly contradict the warrior code. He has said that we should leave them for dead, that we should throw them into another clan's territory. As you should well know by now, the warrior code says that we must not neglect any kits that are in danger. Your mentor has expressed... extreme distaste for rogues, even those who are defenseless or are boons to our clan. I wish for you to not have this same prejudice, despite your mentor's views." He paused for a moment, before continuing. "Do not take this as meaningless slander, but rather some truth. Another side to the story of your mentor. I respect Burningwing's devotion to this clan, but I do not want him to spread views that would hurt this clan, and I fear that someday he may act on those views severely. I would like for you to not take this path, if that path arises. It would hurt your parents, and it would hurt your clan. What I know is that family is generally important, and I do know that following that potential path would only hurt them."

Silencing himself, Frostgaze lead the apprentice onward, looking around as they approached the Thunderpath. There was an old Shadowclan secret beneath the path where the Monsters roamed. and the white deputy flicked his tail to allow Nightpaw to find him as he dipped below. There was something about being under the ground that had always disturbed the tom. Perhaps it was just his love of cleanliness. It didn't take long before they were out on the other side, the deputy shaking his fur out. A time later, they arrived. "When we enter the tunnel, we will find the Moonstone. It is then that you will lay down and put your nose to it. Starclan will draw you into a deep sleep, and then you will see who Starclan has chosen for you to speak to. There is no predicting such a thing, stars know I have tried to understand how they choose for moons." Then he lead the apprentice inside, white fur brushing against the edges of the tunnel. He was glad he remembered the way through, from when Murkystar had taken him moons ago. He was older now, and wiser. There was a glow that illuminated the white tom like he was a star himself, and he stepped aside to allow Nightpaw access to the Moonstone. Sitting down in the corner, he waited. Perhaps Nightpaw would have a Starclan cat that helped him, though in what way, he did not quite know.

Nightpaw knew that Frostgaze was going to lecture him again, and it sure didn't take long. When Frostgaze started talking, Nightpaw started getting frustrated, then he kept talking and he got cagey. "Oh for Starclan's sake! every time we're alone together all you talk to me about is Burningwing!" Nightpaw hissed and whirled towards his deputy, his teeth gritting in his anger. "I'm just so Starclan forsaken tired of it! Don't you have anything else to say? Come! Off! It! Old! Man!" Nightpaw's hackled raised as he continued. "Burningwing has been nothing but nice to me! Meanwhile, all you keep doing is pulling me aside and- and interrogating me! Never once have you said anything nice to me! You keep doubting me, questioning me, or telling me what to do, or- or what to think!" Nightpaw leaped ahead, his tail lashing furiously. "So forgive me if I'm not particularly inclined to believe or listen to you. I'll never hurt my clan-mates, and the fact that you think that I would? I don't know if I like that very much. What did I do to deserve this?" Huffing and puffing in his fit of anger, Nightpaw looked down at his paws.

"Only Burningwing ever seems to believe in me." he muttered under his breath, taking in deep breaths and heavy exhales as he struggled to calm himself down. Why did everyone always assume that just because Burningwing is his mentor, that he automatically assumes those same beliefs? He worked hard and did his best every day and yet it only felt enough when he was with Burningwing, not with Frostgaze. But if what Frostgaze said was true, why was Burningwing still with Shadowclan? To reject kittens was against the code, and surely he must've been punished? If everyone disliked him so much, then why was he still there? "Whatever, let's just keep going." This was supposed to be a time of joy, something that he was supposed to look forwards to. But now it just felt like he'd get another lecture from Starclan themselves or something.

When they entered the tunnels of the Moonstone, Nightpaw disappeared within the dark. Though Nightpaw wished he could just turn around and leave Frostgaze behind, but to handicap himself like that, he wouldn't do that at his expense. Nightpaw made sure to sit as far away from the deputy as he could before laying down and touching his nose to the stone. Letting his eyes close, he tried to calm his breathing. When he re-opened his eyes, he was in Starclans fields.

Leopardstar sat alone in the empty fields, his eyes closed and breaths steady, as though he were concentrating deeply. His rich red-brown coat glittered with starlight between black spots. He did not move when the young tom faded into his presence. Deep olive green eyes opened slowly, and the nigh-ancient leader looked down at Nightpaw with expectation. This apprentice was to be the leader’s charge for the night. Truthfully, the spotted warrior hadn’t cast his eyes down on the Clans in seasons. Whatever Nightpaw sought, he would have to accept that his ancestor had no supernatural knowledge. He merely had his life and the blissful rest that came afterward. “If you have questions, speak.” Leopardstar commanded, voice strong and deep in the silence of the meadows.

Nightpaw seemed to think on this for a while, looking away ashamedly. "All the cats in my life keep giving me vague warnings about my mentor, Burningwing, or being overall suspicious. I've only ever known him as kind and smart. Other than when he let me get attacked by an owl on my first time out hunting... And now Frostgaze tells me that he'd let unpure kittens die or be given to another clan. I just- I just don't know what to do. What I know of him directly contradicts them, and Frostgaze only just told me about the kittens on the way here. I don't know if Burningwing should be untrustworthy, or my own clan-mates." Nightpaw confided, looking to his paws self-consciously. "I just want to be the best warrior I can be, and cats seem to believe that I'll also put kitten's lives at risk." Nightpaw sniffled a bit, bringing his paw to dry his dampening eyes. Hopefully he wouldn't be crying in his rest.

Leopardstar’s eyebrows rose as Nightpaw spoke. He had forgotten what it meant to be young and uncertain. In his own time, the Dark Forest tore ShadowClan and Leopardstar’s family to pieces. Healing had never come in his lifetime. No doubt the tom sharing his dream would face his own trials. It was the way of the forest. “Burningwing is your Clanmate. To mistrust one is to mistrust them all. Your intentions are good. You desire truth, and trust, and an identity of your own. That in itself sets you apart from the image that Frostgaze has given you.” He meowed thoughtfully, eyes lifting to stare into something unseen in the distance.

“When I was alive, the Dark Forest used my son to usurp our leader and banish me to the maze of the twolegplace. StarClan delivered us eventually, but my son never returned to me.” His green gaze flicked back to Nightpaw, a hard edge now dominating his expression. Leopardstar’s voice grew sharp. This warning was his most important message. “Your Clanmates are your greatest asset and your deadliest weakness. Know both your potential enemies and possible allies. This is not to say that you should mistrust them without cause, but to learn for yourself the truth of their actions. Investigate Burningwing. If multiple cats warn you about him, be wary. But also seek to understand Frostgaze. Why would he say these things? What hidden motives cloud his mind? When you find the source of these tensions, you may be able to solve them without fracturing your Clan. Each cat has his hopes. A true leader seeks to fulfill them to the best of his abilities.”

He paused, allowing the silence to grow as he considered his next words. Identity was a difficult thing for an older apprentice coming of age, that much he remembered. “You are not your mentor, nor will you ever be. You can’t be anything but you. You must build a name for yourself by your actions, not your words, and no one will be able to deny your strength of heart. In the meantime, inspire trust in your Clanmates. Be honest but not offensive. Seek justice for those too weak to find it themselves. Pursue goodness, and you will become great. Then what cats ‘believe’ about you will be irrelevant.”

Nightpaw nodded and listened intently, taking this time and opportunity to learn something useful. He felt that this experience would not be futile, at least, he would make sure that would not be so. Investigate and learn, huh? He could do that, and maybe he could do that by looking to his elders. Nightpaw thought of Frostgaze and the things he had said and felt guilt build in his chest, but he was unwilling to let go of his spite and pride like that just yet. He could at the very least acknowledge that he had a festering wound, opened by the frustration caused by his peers and adults in his life, but unsure of how to help it. Nightpaw supposed that he could start by leaving Starclans fields, and the nameless tom before him. His next paw steps had to be careful, he needed to gather his information and decide things for himself. Properly.

"Thank you, for your time and advice. I hope that the next time we meet, I am not joining your ranks, but as the head of Shadowclan, though I hope that is not for many moons." Dipping his head, Nightpaw gave a watery smile as he wiped his eyes once more. This time, a little bit of weight seemed to lift from his heavy heart, a heart he did not realize himself how heavy of a weight he was carrying. "I'll be a cat worthy of making everyone proud. I promise." Taking in a big, heavy breath and exhaling with a shudder, the young tom closed his eyes and let himself come back to his body, thankful that his sorrow did not reflect on his cheeks.

Upon waking, Nightpaw searched for Frostgaze and trodded up to him carefully. Looking away bashfully, not without determination, he piped up.

"C-Can you tell me more about Burningwing? I need to know."