At a Crossroads [Rook]

It had been about two moons since Briarthorn left ShadowClan.

Poppypaw stared at the sky, listless. She got a new mentor in Shira, but she admittedly didn't know much about her other than the fact she had a litter of her own. But what did that say about her role in ShadowClan? Was she so disposable, that she got paired with a queen with one paw in another Clan? Those thoughts she kept to herself, wearing them in her chest instead.

She debated coming to the medicine den for at least a quarter moon. Perhaps she was afraid of her friend thinking less of her, perhaps everything went so fast and glacially slow at the same time. Or, perhaps... Poppypaw was afraid of what he'd say. To be honest, she didn't feel like doing much of anything.

The mottled black and white she-cat approached the nondescript nests, looking for Rookfire.

"Hey, Rookfire? Do you have time to talk?"

Her eyes were clouding and she clenched her jaw, trying to prevent any tears.

She had gotten a fair bit taller since seeing the tom, now nearly her adult height. She was not the small kitten that asked him to fix her spots.

Rookfire turned to Poppypaw. The black tuxedo was far from the best at reading faces, but he could tell that the she-cat was distressed when she came into his den. Was it her spots again? If she wanted to talk about it, the black tuxedo was always open to doing so. She was his friend, after all. It was also part of his duty as a medicine cat to help cats when they were hurt, and he interpreted it to mean both physically and mentally. "What's wrong?" the black tuxedo asked. Of course, before he could help his friend, he needed to know what she needed help on.

She gave a weak smile back to him. He was always the nicest towards her, and she appreciated that.

"I'm having a hard time... with everything."

Poppypaw took a deep breath, trying to keep tears at bay.

"It's been more than a moon since Briarthorn left. She was supposed to be my mentor, but she left in the middle of it to have kits with some tom in a tree."

"And Shira seems nice enough, but I don't know if I can trust her. Not after Briarthorn left."

"Did everybody know Briarthorn was leaving before I did? I feel like I found out after everyone else did. She didn't even say goodbye to me, or tell me where she went."

"It's been hard, Rookfire. Just getting up and being in the apprentice's den with everyone else and their mentors. It feels like cats who were made apprentices after me are already warriors."

She frowned, her eyes clouding up. "Am... Am I enough? Enough for ShadowClan? Even though my mentor left me and I'm not as sneaky as the other apprentices?"

Rookfire listened to Poppypaw speak about everything that seemed to be wrong with the she-cat's life. Briarthorn's sudden abandonment of ShadowClan seemed to hit her harder than most, and it seemed like she was worried that Shira would do the same. "Shira left RiverClan for ShadowClan with her mate, Foxspark. I know the ginger tom well, and when I asked about why he left with Shira, he promised me that quote, 'ShadowClan was their home and they would never abandon it.'" The quiet tom didn't tell Rookfire any more than that, but his words would be enough to ease Poppypaw's fears.

Briarthorn... he probably pulled out a thorn from her paws a couple times. Otherwise, he didn't really know her that well. He didn't even know if anyone in ShadowClan knew her that well. "About Briarthorn, I didn't know that she was gonna leave until... it happened," the black tuxedo said. "Her leaving caught all of us off guard, not just you." Though in retrospect, there wasn't much keeping her in ShadowClan, so it makes sense that she was pulled away from the clan by her love of a SkyClan cat. This last thought probably wouldn't have made Poppypaw feel any better, so the black tuxedo made sure to leave it out.

When Poppypaw talked about how she seemed to be lagging behind the other apprentices, Rookfire tried to comfort her. "Even if you feel that you are not progressing, you are still learning, still improving. When I was Iniko's apprentice, I barely knew anything about herbs. Everything seemed so... hard for me to grasp. And it was frustrating at times. But I was improving, even if I couldn't see my growth myself." The medicine cat gave his friend a grin. "And when you do become a warrior - and trust me, it's just a matter of time - you will be one that ShadowClan would be proud to have in their ranks."

Poppypaw felt a slight smile form on her lips.

“You really think so?”

Perhaps there was hope for her yet. Shira did seem nice enough, and Rookfire was right as always- he helped her feel at home. Even when she didn’t feel at home inside.

“Thank you for everything.”

She aimed to give him a headbutt on his shoulder; he was one of the adults that made her feel safe.

“Need anything from me? Can I help you with something? I owe you one…”