softly, softly, don’t even speak (closed for Memories/Swanpaw)

Yarrowpaw was getting better at communicating every day. It was still a struggle to show, to charade, to mouth words to everyone around him, but he was finding it easier the more he did it. More like it was part of him, his daily routine.

Yet it didn’t mean he didn’t get tired of it.

Basking in the soft morning glow, Yarrowpaw reclined languidly in a corner of the camp. It was a rare moment he was separated from Cloverpaw or Dewlight. All on his own, enjoying the silence that came with it. After all, he still was an introvert, even after all he’s been through.

Unfortunately, silence and solitude never lasts long in RiverClan.

Swanpaw was sitting in the middle of camp, again. Her mother was still sick and everyone still seemed to ignore her. She wouldn't blame them, though, it wasn't like she was going to talk.

But still, it was rather lonely.

She looked around, maybe she could interact with another Riverclan apprentice, one that was only an acquaintance, so she could make a new friend.

Then, Swanpaw saw them, Yarrowpaw sitting alone in the corner of camp. She didn't know much about Yarrowpaw, was he the deaf cat or was that some other cat? Swanpaw was a little out of the loop as you might say, she knew most of the important things about the clan, but the cats specifically? She had no idea.

After awkwardly staring into space she got up and went over to the white tom, waving her tail in a hello.

Yarrowpaw couldn’t help but stare.

This cat, who he’s never seen before, just charaded to him, like he does to others. No words, no mouthing slowly, just silent waving of her tail. Yarrowpaw could cry with happiness- this cat couldn’t speak, just like he couldn’t! He didn’t have to mouth to her, try to communicate in a way that get unnatural and awkward to him, just finally… talk. Like he’s supposed to.

Yarrowpaw waved his tail back, smiling. He tipped his head to gesture next to him, inviting the other cat to lay with him. Maybe they can get to know each other?

After Yarrowpaw signalled back, she instantly knew this was the deaf cat, they signalled in a way that showed their happiness coming through. It made her smile, a cat that wouldn't push her to speak. They just signalled back.

She nodded and layed down next to him, her ears perked. An easier way to communicate, an easier cat to talk to. Swanpaw lifted a paw up to one of her ears before tilting her head, as if she was asking about him being deaf, like she had assumed.

Yarrowpaw watched the other cat motion to her ears, watching him with wide eyes. He supposed she was asking if he was deaf, waiting for his answer- how would he give it? Was this cat deaf too? He pondered for a while if he should mouth out his answer, or try to charade it, try to talk?

He decided on all of them- nodding his head, giving out an awful, scratchy ”mhm” as he mouthed out ”I’m Yarrowpaw! What’s your name?”

So this was the deaf cat.

Swanpaw listened as he had a hard time communicating what he wanted to say, in that way, they were kind of the same, struggling with communication. It suddenly hit her that she was supposed to read his lips.

After taking a moment to translate what Yarrowpaw had said to her she froze. That question. The question she had been asked before where she stared and the cat just ran away, their feelings hurt. If she were to keep this cat as a friend, she'd have to reply... somehow without talking. Her ears were slightly twisted back as she tried to mouth her name. She had never spoken, never tried to, so she didn't really know how to mouth them.

But eventually, she figured it out and mouthed back. "Swanpaw. I'm..." What was she going to mouth? How should she 'word' it? "I have never..." Her ears pressed back, how do you mouth spoken? There were so many sounds.. wait.. her mother... She pictured her mother talking to her father, remembered the words her mother said. "Spoken." Her ears flicked up. "Sorry... speak in... paws... tails.. eyes?" She didn't know how it looked to Yarrowpaw but she was prepared for him to get up and leave.

Was Swanpaw deaf too?

She didn't seem like she was- if there was another deaf cat in RiverClan, Yarrowpaw would've heard about it. If she wasn't deaf, then why wasn't she talking? Why did she insist on signaling instead of mouthing? Was.. was she mute?

Yarrowpaw had never met a mute cat before. He knew that some cats didn't speak like he couldn't, but he had yet to meet a cat that didn't mouth to him, or attempt to talk to him. It was strange- someone so wildly different but so similar. So Swanpaw could hear, but she couldn't speak. And she didn't want to mouth like he does, and would rather signal.

That was fine. Yarrowpaw appreciated her friendship anyway he could get it.

The apprentice waved his tail back and forth in greeting, using his paw to point towards his mouth. Were you mute? He then pointed towards his ears. I'm deaf.

A tail wag towards the entrance of camp. He would feel so safe with someone who could hear but couldn't speak, in their own little world. He would have to ask Dewlight if it was okay, of course- he was never allowed out by himself. But he was willing to gamble with his mentor. He wanted a friend, even if he would have to leave them shortly.

He hoped Swanpaw wouldn't miss him when he left.