Ashy Mornings [Closed]

“This isn’t fair…”

Muddyleap glared down at his paws as he sulked near the entrance of the camp, tail thumping against the ground as Hayglow heaved a heavy sigh. Normally, Muddyleap didn’t mind his mother tagging along with him when he had to go out - he loved her company and didn’t mind her treating him like a kit that much - she was his mother after all, it only felt natural but...This? This just made it feel embarrassing.

Hayglow leaned forward, hooking a paw beneath Muddyleap’s chin to try to get her son to look at him. “I know, sweetie. I understand that this is the type of thing you want to get to do on your own but having an apprentice or not - you can’t be out of the camp by yourself.”

Muddyleap lifted his head to stare pleadingly at his mother. “But momma, I won’t be by myself! I’ll have Ashpa-”

“And what would Ashpaw do if you got badly hurt? She doesn’t know about your...Condition. She wouldn’t be able to drag you back to camp if needed and that is a lot of pressure to put on her when she is just an apprentice, sweetie.”

The younger warrior felt his fur bristle, pelt growing hot as he struggled for words to defend himself. “But - I - She…” He closed his eyes, lowering his head with a soft whimper as he allowed himself to tip to the side - leaning against his mother. “I’m supposed to be her mentor. How am I supposed to make her feel like I can teach her when I have to be watched like a...A dumb kit!”

He sank more into his mother as she lifted a paw and drew him close, giving him a few licks across the top of the head. “Oh Muddyleap, nobody thinks of you like that… I know how embarrassing you have to feel about this but we just want to keep you safe - it's not your fault. If it wasn’t for the fact that you could outright miss your injuries sometimes or underplay them, this wouldn’t be a problem.” She leaned down to brush her cheek against his, a gentle purr rising from her. “Don’t think of me tagging along as watching you. We can pass me off as a helper - you are fairly new to being a mentor.”

There was a long pause. “...You haven’t even had an apprentice thought,” Muddyleap pointed out, a weak smile on his face as he glanced at his mother.

Hayglow straightened up, pouting a little. “Fine,” she huffed before she jabbed a paw at his stomach. “Then think about it as me getting to spend time with my favorite granddaughter. You wouldn’t deny me this precious bonding time, would you?”

Muddyleap took a moment at that, something bothering him before he looked up at Hayglow. “...Isn’t Ashpaw your only granddaughter?” he questioned, suddenly recalling the gender of each of the kits from Sunnyskip’s litter.

A small laugh escaped Hayglow. “It's still true, isn’t it?”

“...Fair.”

Ashpaw had been sitting, watching the others of the camp, when she was told that she would be going out and training soon. She had decided that watching others was more fun than actually talking to them. It wasn't that she was shy, just... reserved, and it was more interesting to watch the habits of her clanmates instead of really talking to them. Her blue eyes glanced over to the entrance, where her uncle and grandmother had assembled. She was happy to be trained by kin, even though it didn't really matter. It just felt... better. Like it meant more or something. For a moment, she watched the conversation that was had between them, the apprentice felt no need to get involved in it, and once it had seemed to finish, she made her way over.

"Hi there Muddyleap, Hayglow." She greeted them both with a small smile. "So, what's training going to be today? Hunting, battle, something else?" She directed her gaze to Muddyleap, a curious look in her eyes. After the patrol she had had with Nightwind, Ashpaw felt a mixture of anxiety, and drive. She needed to improve, to make sure that she could prevent harm from coming to her family again, she couldn't fail the next time she was needed in battle.

Muddyleap straightened up as Ashpaw approached, dipping his head to his niece with a smile. He paused at the question of what they would be doing, taking in a deep breath. "We'll be doing battle training," he said swiftly, before he quickly gave a steady look at Hayglow, who had already opened her mouth to say something. Hayglow jolted a little at her son's stare, drawing back a little before Muddyleap pushed himself to his paws. "Come on. I've...Uh, got some things I guess need to be explained first," he meowed as he turned and led the two out of the camp. If he was going to be training with Ashpaw, she had to know about his condition - even as much as he was ashamed of it. Only a pawful of WindClan cats knew but it was going to be hard to ignore the fact that they would never get a one-on-one training sessions together.

Hayglow gave a long glance at her son as he hurried to match his pawsteps, catching the conflicted look on his face. She knew what he wanted to tell Ashpaw, what needed to be explained and she almost felt as wordless as he did when it came to how...Before she blinked, giving a glance back at Ashpaw. "As we are doing battle training," she meowed, although she had her reserves about it but...Ah, it would be sparring, things would hopefully be fine. "You actually fought a...Fox, was it? With your father. What was that like? How did you feel during it and afterwards?" If she recalled correctly, Ashpaw hadn't actually been hurt in the situation but it was still perhaps a way to lead into the discussion of Muddyleap's condition.

Ashpaw could only give a questioning stare to Muddyleap for a moment when he said there would be something else to explain. She guessed it could be anything, but the way he said it just made her wonder how important it was. As her mentor lead them out of camp, she began to think. While she appreciated the company of her kin, why was Hayglow coming with them? It could be that she wanted to spend time with them, but usually, mentor-apprentice training was just two.

When Hayglow began speaking to her, she looked up with a small start, flicking her tail tip. "Ah, yeah. It was not quite expected. Dad scented it after we had gotten some prey, and decided to lure it in with what we caught. It was exciting to fight something, exciting to feel like I was defending the clan and stuff. I messed up though, got him bitten. I was supposed to distract it, but my leap was off and I distracted dad instead. After it was just getting the prey and dad back to camp, uh, less exciting." As she mentioned her father being injured, Ashpaw's ears couldn't help but flatten slightly, it was her fault, and she had agreed to fight that fox with him, she messed up and had to atone. Training harder would hopefully do it. She almost opened her mouth to inquire back about Hayglow's reason for being here, but she decided against it. Whatever reason it was, it wasn't really worth questioning, it's not like it would change anything about her training. Maybe it would even help.

Hayglow nodded her head, feeling rather sympathetic for her young granddaughter. Fighting was never one of Hayglow's strength or at least one of her desires. She had hated the idea of hurting another living thing before she had arrived in WindClan and while she had made peace with some aspects with the life style, fighting still never sat that right with her. "I see. We always want to protect those we care about - which is why we need to tell you about something before we start your training," she meowed, sparing a glance at Muddyleap. The tom gaze was focused on the horizon, tail lashing as he clearly didn't want to be the one to start off the conversation. Hayglow only sighed with a shake of her head. "Muddyleap...Well, your uncle is unable to feel pain. We don't know why - its only him, myself and your mother don't have it...And I know it can sound like a good thing, but its dangerous - he can easily ignore or fail to spot injuries that could be bad. That's why I'm here - he isn't allowed to be out of camp by himself."

"You don't have to make it sound like I can't take care of myself," Muddyleap muttered back, finally turning to give his mother a narrowed glare. He however quickly winced as he spotted the sad look she sent back his way, giving a shake of his head before he came to a stop to face Ashpaw. "...Sorry," he apologized, pawing at the ground before he lifted his head. "A-Anyways, the reason we are telling you this is to...Well...You were bound to notice that something was up sooner or later, with me always having another cat watching," he admitted with a shrug...Before his ears slicked back. "I'm sorry I can't be a proper mentor...I-I mean have it just be the two of us but...I-This is for the best. You wouldn't know what to do if I got hurt and wanted to push through it..." There was a long pause, staring back at his paws. "B-But its going to hardly matter today! We are just going to be doing sparring, going over proper techniques for fighting - getting the hang of things, working on that leap of yours. No claws, no harm. Just simple training, alright?"

Ashpaw attempted to put the thoughts of her mistake in the back of her mind, knowing that she needed to be present to fully understand her training, and just kept padding along behind the two warriors. Her step slowed when Hayglow began to explain her uncle's condition, coming to a stop when her mentor turned to face her. Ashpaw was obviously surprised by this, the inability to feel pain. She had to think about all the aspects of that, how it was useful and how it really wasn't. She felt sad for her uncle, it was clear that he felt guilty about it for some reason. Ashpaw moved closer to her uncle, sitting directly in front of him. "You're still a proper mentor, and someday we'll be able to train just the two of us, even if it takes me being a warrior to do it. Sparring will be good for me, and I'd bet you're a great fighter to be learning from." Ashpaw wasn't good at feelings, so she decided to be direct. Muddyleap was her kin, she wasn't about to let her kin think that he wasn't good enough or something. She quickly got back to all four of her paws, ready to continue whenever he was ready.