Smallbean's Medicine Cat Ceremony

A few sunrises had passed since the journey to Highstones, and in that time, Softbreeze had been watching Smallbean closely. She had no doubt he was skilled, what she was watching for was something else entirely. She wanted to make sure he would be happy with this role. Softbreeze herself had always wanted to heal cats, not hurt them. But Smallbean... He'd been forced into this position. No matter what any StarClanner said about him being ready, she would not force him to do something he did not want to do.

"Smallbean? Can you come here for a moment, we need to talk." She mewed softly, shifting in her nest. He had to be happy in this position. That was the most important thing.

At the sound of Softbreeze's voice, Smallbean raised his head, turning his attention to her. He had just gotten back from herb gathering a few moments prior, he was sorting through the various herbs he had collected when Softbreeze called for him. "What is it?" His words were quiet, almost matching the tone of Softbreeze's. He didn't overthink conversations like this anymore, they seemed to be happening more and more often. Briefly turning his attention back to the herbs, he picked up a few leaves and set them into a pile, keeping his ears turned toward his mentor.

"Do you remember the promise I made to you.. That when the Asylum were gone, if you were unhappy, you could go back to being a warrior?" She started, hesitant. It was the first step, a necessary one. She was tired. She'd caused the death of two cats; she didn't deserve this title anymore. And... And she just wanted this pain to go away. It hurt so much. More than words could describe. This grief, this sorrow.. it was a never ending wave, and Softbreeze just wanted a bit of happiness. A moment of tranquility.

"Well, I... Smallbean, please be honest with me. Are you... Are you happy? Are you happy being a medicine cat?" The pale molly murmured, anxiously awaiting his answer.

Turning his attention back to Softbreeze, his expression quickly fell to a confused stare. What was she trying to get at? " Y-yes.. i remember." He said the words slowly, as if he needed to think about it. Of course he remembered, he recalled the entire conversation quite well, although he chose to not think about it often. It was an unpleasant interaction he would rather forget.

Following his reply, Softbreeze asked a question that he didn't exactly know the answer to. Did he enjoy being a medicine cat? He dropped the leaf he held in his paw, letting it fall on to a pile of the same herb. The thought had never come it his mind, he had almost never found himself longing to be back in the warrior's den. If he could choose now, would he go back? Now that he thought about it, he had found a sort of peace in the medicine den, spending his days treating small wounds and sorting herbs. But was this really what he wanted to do for the rest of his life? It didn't take long for him to make up his mind. Breaking the silence, he answered. "I.. I am happy, being a medicine cat. In a way, i think it's helped me." A small smile spread across his maw, but he couldn't help but wonder why she asked him these questions. "Why do you ask?"

A sigh escaped her maw at this. "I'm.. I'm glad. Because I.. I think you're ready to become a full Medicine Cat." It was the truth. Now that she knew he was happy in this position, she could peacefully go through will the ceremony. He was content to remain a healer, and Softbreeze was so,so happy for him. Even if he'd come into this position untraditionally, he'd done wonderfully, and come out of his shell quite a bit.

"So, Smallbean, what do you say? Are you ready?" She asked, standing up and stretching as a gentle smile spread from her maw, reaching her eyes for the first time in a while. Smallbean truly deserved this.

"W-wait, what?" Smallbean's eyes widened as he spoke. He couldn't tell if he was worried or excited, his emotions were so conflicted. Of course he wanted to become a full medicine cat, but was he really ready? He had always doubted his abilities from the very beginning, even when he was a normal apprentice. But.. maybe it would be different now that he could be a medicine cat. He had been put in this position because Asylum thought he would be better suited for it, after all. He sucked in a deep breath, averting his eyes. "If you think i'm ready, than so do i."

"I don't think you're ready, Smallbean. I know you're ready." She purred, "I'll admit, I had my doubts. I knew about your entanglements with that ThunderClanner.. Cedarheart, that was her name, right? I remember meeting her once or twice, she's energetic, and very nice. I was afraid you'd be a bit squeamish, but you took to it like kits to rabbits! I'm proud of you, you know. Really, I am."

Taking a few steps, she brushed some lavender out of the way. "I was hoping you'd say yes, and I wanted it to be a surprise. I already have the travelling herbs made. It's sunhigh now, so we've got to hurry to Highstones!" Softbreeze passed one parcel to him, the other for herself. "Whenever you're ready."

Softbreeze's words made him feel all warm inside, it was a relief to know that she had faith in him. But as she continued, his blood ran cold. "Wait... you- you know about her?" His eyes grew wide with fear, the way she said it so nonchalantly surprised him. He thought that he could be thrown out of the clan over something like that. The fact that Softbreeze trained him while knowing this made him feel a bit better though. That meant that she really did believe in him.

When the she-cat got up and passed him some herbs, he looked at her with surprise. "Wait, right now? We're going now!?" He ate his own wrap without question. He had started to get used to the taste, he'd been eating quite a bit of them recently. Turning to Softbreeze, he gave her a small nod. "I'm ready."

Softbreeze couldn't help but purr in amusement at Smallbean's reaction, "Flea-brain! Of course I knew! Some high and mighty know-it-all starry pelt decided to share it with me, and she wasn't all that happy. You know I'd never condemn anything like that; why should a cat be forced to ignore the call of their heart? I even made Olivestar promise she wouldn't exile you; not that she would! Stars, we didn't fight for that right just to condemn it! Anyways, enough about that!" Excitement fizzled in her paws, and for the first time in moons, Softbreeze padded out of her den looking happy-- truly happy.

---

"Well, this is it. If you've changed your mind and decided to be a warrior, now's the time to say so!" Softbreeze winked, jokingly nudging his shoulder. Aspenheart had said the same thing to her, at her Ceremony. Taking a deep breath, she nodded, and padded down the familiar dark tunnel.

It lasted for moons, or maybe just heartbeats, but eventually the tunnel expanded into a cavern. It was dark, a shade lighter than pitch darkness, and Softbreeze anticipated the glow she'd knew would arrive soon. As if on que, the Moonstone lit up, shining brightly and radiating the light around the clearing. "It's just like magic, isn't it?"

Clearing her throat, she padded forward in a serious manner, and beckoned Smallbean to follow. "Warriors of StarClan! I, Softbreeze, WindClan's medicine cat, call upon you to look upon Smallbean for all that he is, all that he's done, and all the greatness he will do. He's trained hard to master the art of healing, and upon our guidance, I believe it's time that he receives what he rightfully deserves and what he's earned many times over." The words, although not the traditional ones, flowed off her tongue with ease, "Smallbean, is it your wish to be granted the title of medicine cat of WindClan? To stand apart from Clan disputes, to heal any cat who needs it, regardless of origins, and most of all, to be happy in doing so, even at the cost of your life?"

Somehow the two had managed to get to mothermouth on time, despite having left later than ideal. Admittedly, he was still nervous, but Softbreeze made him feel a lot better. He let out a small laugh at her joke before he followed her into the tunnels, not needing his mentors help but still sticking closely behind her. It felt like moons before the tunnel opened up to the cavern containing the moonstone. It was still very dark, he could almost see nothing, but it almost instantly lit up with a bright light, causing him to shield his eyes until they adjusted. The moonstone was just as breathtaking as it was the first time he had ever seen it, but it felt much more important than it had before. He stood there for a moment before noticing Softbreeze's signal. He followed her, listening to her speak words that had been passed down between medicine cats for many many moons, and will be passed down for many many moons to come. Once she had finished, he looked at her with a solemn expression and answered her. "I do." He spoke the words with confidence, voice not faltering.

Blue eyes softened on her apprentice. "Then, in the name of StarClan and the power of love, I name you as Smallbean, medicine cat of WindClan. The moors have guided your every pawstep, and with your help, will guide the paws of each cat who walks them. You earned your name as a warrior, and now you've earned it as a healer. Ravenstar named you Smallbean moons ago, and now I dub you the same. Welcome, Smallbean." Softbreeze leaned over (for they were the same height), and touched her nose to Smallbean's.

"You may not been a conventional medicine cat apprentice, but I couldn't have asked for a better companion. You'll be a fantastic medicine cat," without me, she added silently. "Now, go on. Touch your nose to the Moonstone, I won't hold you up any longer."