A Hard Apology (Closed for Tara)

Ashstorm had not talked to her brother in a couple of days.  She did not know what to say.  She tried to figure out what to say, but it never seemed to be the right wording that she would enjoy, so she held off saying anything.  Finally she came to the conclusion that if she continued to not speak to Copperfox till she found the right wording she would never speak to him again.  She walked around the Skyclan camp until finally spotting him.  She froze.  That internal struggle for her to speak to any of them was still there.  How many more brothers will I have to do this exact thing with? She thought, but then realized her mistake.  She approached Dawnhawk when he hurt her, but this was different, she was approaching the brother that she probably hurt.

This was the perfect opportunity, she could not miss it.  He was alone at the edge of the camp.  She strode up to him, her tail low and dragging the ground below her, and stood next to him.  "Hello, Copperfox," she said both shyly and kindly.  "I just- just wanted to say that I am really sorry.  You were just having a conversation with Dawnhawk and I was dumb enough to think I could come and fix things.  It was completely wrong of me." She definitely believed every word she was saying.  Copperfox came up to Dawnhawk, just trying to have a conversation just as she did, but instead he was met by many stubborn cats all trying to speak their mind.  Nothing anyone could say would make her think anything but how wrong she was.  "I really did not mean to upset you.  I don't even know what I was thinking.  It was not my place.  You deserved better than to have us all join in, especially me."

Copperfox had been calmly watching other cats go by, but said nothing. He would nod an occasional greeting to his fellow clanmates, but the tom's mind was somewhere else. Somewhere far away. Ashstorm approached him then and his copper-like eyes stared at her for a moment. "Ashstorm... it's not you I'm angry with. Actually... I'm really not as mad anymore." He stared for a second, trying to find the right words to say. Speaking was still difficult... did it ever get easier? "Why especially you? Don't think so low of yourself." It hadn't been Ashstorm to thwart his plans, not at all. In fact she had been the only one to have helped his case, even if only marginally.

"I hoped I could convince Dawnhawk to leave with the Asylum Cats by talking sense into him. I mean... all anyone does is talk down to him, insult him, say dumb things like he's not our brother anymore." He half-way rolled his eyes at that one. Not only was it absolutely false but it wasn't constructive either. "We can't use our claws and teeth on these cats," Though his mind shuddered to have the image of violence in his head. "Our only hope of taking our home back is to convince them to leave. I'm mad at my other sisters because Stars forbid they give tactful diplomacy a try." He was venting now, but his anger was gone as quickly as it came. He did not inherit Bloodstrike's rage like Beechface had.

Ashstorm was surprised by her brothers response.  She expected him to be more angry than he was, but she was honestly glad that he was not.  She bent her head down and then came closer to him.  "I agree," she replied.  "Throwing out insults and horrible comments will get us no where."  She thought for a moment about Primroselight and how much her words still hurt Ashstorm and that made her sigh.

"Our sisters are not bad cats they just, can be a little..." A pause took place for a moment as she tried to figure out what word would be good to describe what she was trying to say.  "Confused."

"Disowning family members won't help with anything.  Same with saying insults instead of doing at thing."  She no longer was looking at Copperfox, until she remembered the rest of what he had said and then she turned her head towards him again.  Her voice was calmer than what she was feeling.  "I also agree that fighting would be useless.  Even if Skyclan won in the end, who knows how many lives would be lost.  Who knows how many cats would be fighting against those that they knew."

It took her till than to realize that what she was saying was not helping too much.  She came to apologize and instead it turned into her saying the fears she had.  "I wish that there was a right answer.  You were trying to do something right and that's all we can do at this point.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  I'm sorry anything bad has happened.  You out of all cats don't deserve this."