So for the last several months I've been keeping a note on my phone of some of the funniest things that kids at my work have said to me or that I've overheard, and I thought I would share for the laughs! Some context; I work with elementary school students Pre K through 5th, and I work at a Christian facility.
Conversation between two kids
B: "Have you heard of Leauge of Legends?"
J: "What game is that?"
B: "A lot of
nerds play it."
J: "Don't speak cursive, it's rude!"
(Two kindergarteners that are in a 'releationship' were arguing, and it ended with this)
S: "I'm not marrying you now!!"
Me: "Hey dude, don't wrap those rubber bands around your fingers, it could cut off your circulation!"
P: It's okay, I don't feel pain."
(Recently there had been a lot of wildfires and this day the sky was a creepy dark red color and a bunch of kids were calling it the 'apocalypse'. We were stuck inside and playing music for the kids when the theme song for Sofia the First came on)
C, a 4th grader: -covers her ears- "Can I walk out into the apocalypse please?"
(A few classmates were chasing a kindergarten boy around, when his 'girlfriend' noticed and started chasing
them)
J: "Girls STOP, he's mine!!"
(We have a pretty big property, so when we're outside we put up traffic deliniators so the kids know the boundaries, but some kids like to play with them even though they're not supposed to)
N: "I'm gonna fight you!!" -punches delinator-
(During lunchtime prayer)
J: "I pray no one gets hurt..."
JD, distantly from the back: "I already got hurt!!"
(During morning prayer, a kindergartner expressed all our hopes and dreams)
N: "I pray Black Panther comes back to life..."
- Profanity warning:
(With this one kindergartener we like to joke around with him since he's a very sassy and sarcastic kiddo, and lately his phrase of choice is 'throwing hands'. He said this on a whim to my coworker and we were all on the verge of laughter for the rest of the day)
Coworker: "I'm gonna throw hands with you if you don't start doing your homework."
N: "Throw hands BI TCH!" -puts his fists up-
N: "I wanna be a MAN when I grow up."
(A little Pre-K kid runs up to me and points at his classmate, a kindergarten girl)
J: "She wants to marry me...on the mouth!"
(A group of kids was playing around with one of the older boys and he let them 'pin him to the ground'. One of the kids in the group responded to their victory with-)
A: "He's caught. Feast on him."
J: "If you disrespect chickens they'll make you do the chicken dance."
(I was in charge of kindergarten nap time, but the kids were having trouble listening that day. One of the students decided to help me out)
J: "Guys, if you don't listen to Ms. Sara, Santa won't give you presents!"
(A little boy mentioned something he called 'hot dog sauce'. I asked what he meant by that.)
J: "You know...ketchup! It's hot dog sauce!"
