Dapplepaw's Moonstone Journey

Fallowlight was way too busy in times like this to be handling Moonstone Journeys and since he wasn't really busy, the leader offered himself to do it instead of her. Tonight, it was Dapplepaw's turn, daughter of Dewshine and the Shadowclan warrior he decided to welcome into his clan as an act of forgiveness, trust and kindness. Sadly, they both perished in that horrible flood but their legacy was still there and soon, their daughter would be a warrior of Riverclan, just like their parents.

The sun was setting in the distance, giving space for the dark night when the tom entered the apprentice den, looking for Dapplepaw. He was carrying a bunch of travelling herbs that Fallowlight made for her and for him. Dropping her package next to the she-cat, the tall silvery tom smiled a bit to the young apprentice. "Hey, there. I thought you might need this for the travel we will make together." He purred, pushing the herbs a bit closer to Dapplepaw.

Dapplepaw was sitting in her nest, methodically cleaning her ears and face as she prepared for to go to sleep for the night. Her days had been spent making sure that Wasppaw was okay, and attempting to catch more fish when she could. When she heard movement at the dens entrance she turned her head, and blinked in surprise when it was Jaystar himself that entered. Quickly placing her paw down, she dipped her head respectfully before she realized with a jolt that he was talking to her. His smile and purr made it clear that she wasn't in any trouble, but her mind raced with possibilities. At the mention of a travel, her fluffy tail swished across her nest as her curiosity and excitement began to build. A journey with the leader of RiverClan himself? Returning his smile with a bright one of her own, she mewed.

"Hi, Jaystar. Where are we going?" She asked as she obediently bent her head and began to lick up the herbs he gave to her, wrinkling her nose at the bitter taste. Her tail curling in slight disgust at them, she finished eating them quickly before climbing out of her nest and following Jaystar out into setting rays of the sunset that bathed the camp in their orange and red glow.

Leaving the den by her side, the tom flicked his tail a bit, making a sign to one of his warriors that they were leaving. "Tonight, we will go to the Moonstone. Is an important step in the life of apprentice to meet their ancestors before becoming a warrior. I'll be your guide and you are free to ask whatever you wish but the messages that you will receive there... or the cats you will meet, that's unknown even for me. Every Moonstone Journey is special in their own way." He mewed adding an enigmatic tone to his voice in an attempt to catch the apprentice's excitement. Oh, how much he wished to return to those careless days when he could spend time with Cinderpaw and his mother barely paid him attention! Of course, he had grown to become a more mature cat thanks to leadership but at the cost of his juvenile and happier self.

The large Riverclan leader walked calmly but with a constant pace through the plains of reeds and streams. They were in no hurry really but the idea was to return by dawn tomorrow. If nothing wrong happened, then they would be arriving soon to the Highstones.. The last time he was there, he almost lost his son, Blizzardshine was killed and a massacre happened. But... he couldn't forget that that was the place of the only bridge they had with their ancestors.

The gray-furred apprentice waited as the leader made his signal, still trying to get the sour taste of those herbs out of her mouth. Padding after him, her ears perked up and directed towards him as he spoke, her excitement only built. The Moonstone... Where she would get to see her ancestors? Did that mean... Without even realizing it, she spoke her thoughts out loud. "Does that mean I'll get to meet... Dewshine and Gingerstripe?..." The thought was a foreign one, she had no idea what her parents had been like in life, as Gingerstripe had already passed by the time she was born and Dewshine left them soon after. The only real memories she had of them was the bloated, smelling bodies that Flurryshine had drug around for far too long, and her face grimaced in the memory of the sight and scent of the bodies. She hoped that maybe, just maybe they would come visit... But she also hoped that they would not appear to her in the same way that she always remembered seeing them. Realizing that silence had taken over the space between them, she broke it.

"So I can't tell anyone what happened? What if they don't know who I am? What if I don't know who they are?" Her questions spilled out before she stopped them, ending the stream of inquiries before it got too out of control. Pausing as she picked her way over a particularly slippery rock, she twitched her whiskers before asking one last question. "Is it scary?"

The leader offered the she-cat a comforting smile and a gentle nudge with his tail. It was normal to be nervous, the tom couldn't blame her for that. "You can tell whoever you want unless Starclan asks you to not do so. But under my knowledge, they don't usually do that. Apprentices prefer most of the time to keep their experience as something personal but that does not stop you from sharing what you will live tonight." He purred, looking up to the sky where the stars were starting to shimmer over their heads. The leader tired eyes closed for a second, remembering his own visits to the Moonstone: some of them bad, other good. But all the time, their ancestors always knew who he was and what lurked in his mind... Cinderpaw always knew. "They always know, Dapplepaw. Our ancestors guard us, guide us in the path of our life. They know you and they know me. All of them look after us, even in the darkest of times. Scary? I think that's one of the only words I have never heard of apprentice after they come back from the Highstones." The tom jumped a fallen willow tree that was there since the flood and then looked back at Dapplepaw. "From my personal experiences, I can say that it is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Pristine clear streams of water filled with endless fish and starry plains. But I'll save you the rest of the details. For now, we must go on."

Time skip

Finally, after walking some time through the tunnels, they were there. He had to admit that after his time in the Tribe's cave, he had gotten used to darker and thinner places like the place where the Moonstone resided. The leader stepped forward, letting the stone's light to shine over his silvery fur. Jaystar couldn't help to turn his gaze a bit down, remembered how he had failed his ancestors but he hid those feelings and walked to a near, moss-covered stone where he laid down. "This is the part of the journey that you must do alone. Come, sit in front of the stone and touch its surphace with the tip of the stone. Starclan will greet you in your sleep and if anything happens, I'll remain here."

Nodding in understanding as Jaystar spoke and shared some of the wisdom of his moons of experience, Dapplepaw found herself awed by how much he knew and what he said. "It sounds beautiful... I can't wait to see it!"

---

She followed behind Jaystar, feeling trapped inside the tunnels. She trusted her leader and where he was taking her, but that didn't stop her feelings of concern and fear as she padded further underground, the cold of the stone underpaw reminiscent of the stones of the mountains, and her mind wandered with memories of those mountains that seemed so close yet so far away. The flashing white of the dog's teeth threatened the edge of her mind, and as she stepped into the larger area that was filled with a mysterious and bright, yet soothing, light, she found her tail was bushed up. Startled by Jaystar's voice as it echoed on the walls, she jumped, turning to look at him as the moonlight shone off her silver fur, making it look a pristine white. She took a deep breath, and focused on making her fur lie flat, before she nodded and laid before the Moonstone. Hesitating for only a moment, she relaxed her body and touched her nose to the stone. It didn't take long before her senses faded, and she fell into darkness.

---

It felt like the black surrounding her lasted for only a few moments before she opened her eyes, and surprise filled her as she looked to her surroundings and saw not the stone tunnel of the Moonstone cave, but... Was this the lake? No, not quite... The water wasn't murky and stale, it was clear and bright, reflecting hundreds of stars and bright moonlight in it's surface. Mesmerized by it, she walked over to it's edge, staring into the depths with a look of wonder on her face. It was like that her visitors would find her, awestruck by her surroundings and lost in the magnificence that was StarClan and oblivious to anyone approaching.

StarClan was peaceful and silent, still and serene even after all the chaos that had wracked the forest. The flood had raged through every cat's lives, tearing some apart and mending a few back together. Many had joined the ranks of the ancestors in the past moons. One of those cats approached the living apprentice now, his pawsteps soft and almost hesitant. The tom was tall and lean, thin but wiry with muscles that were used with great prowess to hunt and fight. His bright ginger tabby pelt was short, but striking, and his white chest and paws stood out in the dark. The cat's eyes were a startlingly bright forest green, and they shone with a mixture of anxiety, warmth and love. As he approached the apprentice, his tail waved slowly and somewhat uncertainly behind him. He smelled like RiverClan territory, with not even a hint of ShadowClan's musk about him.

Gingerstripe- ShadowClan troublemaker, outcast loner, RiverClan warrior- stopped right behind his daughter whom he had never met.

His daughter, Dapplepaw, looked mostly like her mother. The softness of her fur, the kindness and innocence of her blue eyes, were undoubtedly Dewshine's. Even the rapt look on her face as she stared into the starry pool reminded him of his mate. However, there was something about the set of her jaw and the strength in her legs that may have come from him. And her small nose looked like Honeydrop's.... The StarClan tom nudged the she-cat he'd watched from afar, his eyes wide and anxious, and his half-smile both nervous and excited. It was strange, to finally be seeing his daughter in person. "Dapplepaw? It's nice to meet you... I'm your father, Gingerstripe."

The soft silver starscape of StarClan was vast. Green reeds covered in dusted silver waved delicately in a soft breeze that seemed eternal and comforting. No chill bit at the coats of the cats there, it was merely enough to keep the air from being stagnant. Yet, to Dewshine, it served another purpose. To make the looming starry trees seem less ominous. To send the lightest dustings of light into places where shadows dwelled. They could never quite reach into her heart.

The sight of her kit. Their kit. Staring into the water... so real. So tangable and alive. Starclan... she was alive... silvery drops fell down her cheeks. Gingerstripe went first. His flaming coat still bright despite the starry glow. She followed behind him. Delicate feathered pelt the same bright grey it had been in life. Her blue eyes vibrant with stars, but filled with sadness... and joy. There was no hesitation as she padded forward when her kit turned around to nuzzle and purr at her in an affectionate greeting.

"Dapplepaw..." The name fell off Dewshine's tongue easily. It had been one she was desperate to say. One she wished she could have said while she was alive... constantly wishing she was at her kits sides. Even that was frought with pain however, as that meant leaving Gingerstripe... and she couldn't for the life of her imagine an existance without the strong tom at her side. Finally, she pulled away. Enough to let Dapplepaw breathe as she purred softly in happy embarrasment. "Oh Dapplepaw... you've grown. I'm..." she paused, taking a deep breath as pain stabbed her in the chest like an enemy's claws. "I'm so sorry you had to do it without me." The confession wasn't easy. It still hurt her every moment to think about the litter she left behind on the shores moments after they were born. When they were newly named... mewling so weakly. It was almost hard to believe one of those kits was before them now.

The tranquility was broken by a gentle nudge, and Dapplepaw turned to see a ginger tom with a startling white chest and paws. She gazed at him as he spoke, her expression blank as she struggled to recognize who this tom was. He knew her name, and he said his name was Gingerstripe, which matched what Scorchclaw had told her of her father, but he looked nothing like the body that Flurryshine had dragged around for far too long. Peering up into those green eyes with her own blue ones though, she realized that he was the same, if the dirt and grime and stench of death that associated her kit-hood memories was removed. This was certainly the cat that was her father, even if she had never known him in life. Stretching her nose up to touch to his, she purred, eyes welling up with tears. "Hi, Gingerstripe."

Then came her mother, her feathery pelt so similar, and scent so heartbreakingly familiar, and the tears began to fall. The same as with her father, Dewshine's starry appearance did not match her memory, but the feeling of comfort, of safety, was one that could not be replicated by anyone other than Thornbriar. Her voice caught in her throat, and for a moment she was content to just linger in the presence of her parents, purring in elation at the comfort they brought. When they stepped back, Dapplepaw sat and looked at the two, tears still threatening to continue making their paths down her cheeks. "It's... It's okay. It was hard - but we're okay. We... I miss you. I'm sorry... I don't really know... What to say... I wish you were here... Have you met Thornbriar? She took us in, and nursed us... Otterpaw got Scorchclaw as a mentor! Scorchclaw has been really kind to us, and so has so many others... Wasppaw has been like a big sister, and Magpiepaw..." She trailed off as her fur grew warm at the thought of Magpiepaw. "Magpiepaw is wonderful. I learned how to fish! The first fish I caught I actually threw at Ravenpaw because he was being mean... And I went to the mountains to find the rest of our clan, and fought dogs! There was also this really big creature they called 'Sharptooth' or something like that... It was really scary to look at..." She trailed off, realizing that she had been rambling on, and shuffled her paws underneath her in embarrassment. "I'm sorry... There's just... There's so much I want to tell you.. and ask you..." Trailing off again, she hesitated before asking the one question that stood in the forefront of her mind, one she was afraid to ask because she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, but felt she needed to. It came out in barely more than a whisper, and a tear fell from her right eye as she asked, feeling as though her heart might break.

"Why... Why did you leave us?... Were we not... Good enough?..."

Dapplepaw's words were met with loving blue eyes as she described her life. Her heart swelled to hear of the care that was bestowed on her kits in her absence. Her trust, at least in Scorchclaw, had been safe. Though she'd not met Thornbriar, she had seen the care the other she-cat had given. Perhaps at some point, she would find the other she-cat and be able to thank her personally. A soft chuckle slipped from her jaws at Dapplepaw's excitement over Scorchclaw being a mentor to Otterpaw. Wasppaw and Magpiepaw... they were good apprentices. She could tell that they would go far, that they likely wouldn't see Starclan's skies for a while yet.

Her heart stuttered to a stop at the question. Watching as her kit shuffled before her, as though being caught being disrespectful to her elders. Tears slid down her cheeks despite a brief futile attempt to blink them back. Within a heartbeat, she stepped forward, bringing Dapplepaw close to her chest. The warmth of her kit... her living, breathing kit. One who would have to face the world, who had already faced more of it in their few moons of life than she ever had. She pulled back only slightly, enough to answer the questions without breathing into Dapplepaw's ears due to the embrace.

"Dapplepaw... I love you. With all of my heart, every hair on my pelt." Her voice cracked as she struggled to form words to voice thoughts that clamoured to escape her jaws. "...I didn't want to leave." Tears dripped down into Dapplepaw's fur beneath her as she held her close. Tail wrapping around to keep her near, as if Dapplepaw would dissappear if she even blinked. "Oh Dapplepaw... You're perfect. I couldn't be prouder, of any of you. You've faced so much, gone so far, and come out of it all... ready for your warrior name." Her voice cracked as she looked down at the young she-cat. "Sometimes... we have no choice when Starclan takes us. The waters made me ill, it took more strength than I had in me to swim to shore." She explained softly. "Yet, I knew it wasn't over. You three, were my last gift to RiverClan. You are the pride and joy of my life, and I watch you through it all." Dewshine's muzzle formed a sad smile as she reluctantly pulled back. Her heart aching not to. "There isn't a single moment when I am not proud of you, and I will always be watching. You will never swim the river alone. If you ever need to speak to me, you only need to look up into the stars. I may not be able to answer, but I will be listening. Always."

The second their noses touched, Gingerstripe fell deep into love for his daughter. It swallowed him up, healing his wounds, making him think for the first time that maybe everything would be okay. She accepted him unconditionally... like very few cats ever had before. Every word she spoke he listened to, feeling her voice soothe him. His mate next to him, his daughter in front of him, he felt the love that they had as a family- that he regretted they hadn't been able to have in life. However, despite his regret, he felt peace that they had finally gotten at least some closure... until Dapplepaw asked that question. Then the pain returned. He felt struck to the heart, almost as much of a blow as when his Clan had cast him out so long ago, as when his "mother" and father admitted they were lying to him. But he knew that his precious daughter didn't mean to hurt him. The look in her eyes said the contrary.

Why would he want to leave her? Tears came to his eyes as he tried to put his thoughts into words. Dewshine spoke first, his beautiful and empathetic mate making every loving, concise point that he could hope to. But he still had an apology to make... to both the she-cats he was with. As Dewshine pulled away, Gingerstripe moved in, embracing his daughter and looking with a tearful green gaze at both her and his mate. "I never wanted to leave either of you," he choked out, nuzzling Dapplepaw's head. "Family is my life. Dewshine is the one who saved me from a life of misery, and every single kit I've had I've cherished with every inch of me, from ears to tail. But it was the only way." His ears were back slightly as he recalled the memories of the morning he'd died, glancing sorrowfully at the face of the love of his life. "It was the only way to save you, Dewshine. I couldn't leave you to the waters, even if Flurryshine was there. When the floodwater came, I had two options- trying to save you, or myself. I was never a great swimmer... you know that. But you were carrying precious cargo... and you're the most precious thing in my life. If you had died I never would have forgiven myself." He touched his nose to Dewshine's, then looked at his daughter. "My sacrifice was worth it," he whispered, feeling tears stream down his face. "She lived long enough to have you. And you will get the life you deserve... safe and secure in RiverClan. Even though I can't be there physically, I will always love you. Please, never forget that."

Dapplepaw's shoulders shook as she waited for her parent's responses, and once they came she was unable to hold back the tears any longer. They streamed their way down her face, across her cheeks, falling to the ground in sparkling droplets that soaked into the starry landscape. When Dewshine enveloped her, she buried her head in her mother's chest, breathing in the scent that she had lived without for so many moons, one that brought back hazy memories of that first day on the shore. So much had happened since that day on that distant shore, and so much had changed. She had become a different cat, molded by the experiences and circumstances surrounding her birth and the events that followed, depending on her friends and the cats who had brought her and her siblings in. Thornbriar, Wasppaw, Magpiepaw, Scorchclaw... There were countless cats who had guided the three kits along their journey, and would continue to do so even as they grew older and shaped their destinies with their own paws. Her sobs slowly came to a stop, her sorrow at losing the two and the turmoil of her feelings of loneliness, anger, and grief finally getting released. Once her breathing had begun to slow back to normal, she spoke again, pulling her head back from Dewshine's chest. Her voice cracked a couple times before she got it out. "Thank you, both of you.... I'm sorry, I just.... I had to know. I promise I'll work hard and make you guys proud of me, and carry you with me always." She smiled sadly, looking between Dewshine and Gingerstripe. "Thank you for coming to talk to me, I'm glad to have finally gotten to meet you. I should probably be getting back soon, Jaystar will be waiting for me. I'll miss you... Please keep watching over me, okay?" She touched her nose to Dewshine's, then Gingerstripe's gently, her eyes shining with the remnants of her tears, but bright with hope and newfound confidence.