The Sky is Blue, Dream that Lie 'Til It's True {closed}

The trek back to SkyClan territory had been long and strenuous, Leafpaw wanted to shut her eyes to her surroundings, and block it all out. SkyClan territory wasn't in ruins, everything was fine. They would rebuild, right? The brown tabby didn't find Tigerleaf with the cats from the western shore, although those around her had made note of her presence. She didn't want to ask where her mother was. And she didn't want to think about what life would be like when they returned. SkyClan camp was lonely now. Pelts padded by Leafpaw, but none of them could console her. The apprentice needed to know, yes. But didn't necessarily want an answer. What had happened to Tigerleaf? Where was her mother? Blinking away the tears that began to form in her eyes, the tabby padded to a secluded spot, in what was left of the camp. Several trees had fallen, plants had been uprooted from their dirt. Yet ever still, green leaves sprouted from brown branches. The she-cat wanted to marvel at their beauty, she really did. But times were dark. Foxpaw's pelt could be seen not far off. Leafpaw knew her brother would have answers. He was there with Tigerleaf, he had said. Her legs trembled as she padded over to the tom. She couldn't seem to keep still, not wanting to sit for too long, for fear of thinking, of coming to a realization. Heavy tears were falling from Leafpaw's eyes now, and her surroundings seemed to blur. The figures of Amberdawn and Swanpaw could be seen, but where was Sunpaw? Where was Tinystar? And Tigerleaf, oh her wonderful mother. She wanted to find the truth, needed the truth. But felt madness claw at her throat. Leafpaw's vision blurred as she stumbled to her brother's side, collapsing at his feet, sobbing into the ground. Her mother, her sweet sweet mother. Cats were staring now as her sobs echoed across the clearing. Foxpaw's red fur was the only thing present through the water that leaked from her temples.

"Where... Where is she Foxpaw?" The tabby's voice was raw and sorrowful, cracking with the effort of speaking. Leafpaw had held it together for so long, and asked no questions at the bridge, and no questions on the trek back to camp. But Tigerleaf's absence was strong now, like a burning hole in her heart. She did not reside at Highstones where Tinystar ought to be. It was a hunch, a sinking feeling. But perhaps Tigerleaf had gone to dance with the stars. "Pleeease! Tell me she's not gone Foxpaw... I can't do this..." Her voice faded into inaudible sobs, now just heavy breathing into the dirt below. Leafpaw's world had folded in on itself. Life no longer had any meaning. They were just cats, mere cats, killed by silly things like water and rain. Why did Leafpaw ever believe life could be so whimsical? Her very dreams had been crushed into the dirt. She wanted a release from this sadness, but only found grief.

Foxpaw has curled himself into a ball. Miserable and sad. He had been so overjoyed to see his sister, but now that joy was fading because one family member didn’t make it home. He was aware of the light footsteps, the sobs, the branches and leaves fluttering and shaking with sorrow in the wind. His thick fluffy tail hid his face where tears were evident. He shifted his tail and his watery eyes peeled over the red fluff. His was aware of his sisters pelt creeping towards him. He blinked slowly as she came to a stop infront of him and pleaded for him to tell the truth.

He swallowed and slowly pulled himself into a sitting position and rested his head against his sisters shoulder. He breathed in her sweet smell and took a breathe. ”She tried really hard to not let herself go-“ He took a big gulp of air. ”-until she saw us safe.” He lifted his head off of Leafpaws shoulder and sniffed. ”B-But she knows we’re safe. She can see us.” He silently listened as his sisters sobs rattled her body and he slowly curled himself around her as they both seemingly melted into the ground together.

Foxpaw's warmth did something to comfort Leafpaw, she curled into his fur, reminiscing of when they were younger, sleeping at Tigerleaf's belly. Her sobs had subsided, fading into sniffles and the occasional moan. It didn't feel real. This had to be a dream. So long had Leafpaw thought her family invincible. Even now, the flood couldn't take away Foxpaw, so why did it take her mother? She wanted to awake from the nightmare, to go back to the nursery and speak with her mother again. Why had she died? Why was StarClan so cruel? Had Leafpaw done something to upset them? Was she not good enough?

The feeling of guilt started to worm its way into Leafpaw's head, and she buried her muzzle deeper into Foxpaw's paws. She felt numb, even the sadness that danced in her head didn't register. What was life even? Why did they live? Just to die? Leafpaw wondered why she should even care anymore. The pretty leaves on the trees she had been so excited about did nothing to save her mother. And why did they even bother catching prey? To live a little longer?

The numbness was suffocating, and Leafpaw only wished to sleep for a moon, maybe this way she didn't have to think about Tigerleaf's death. Sheepishly, Leafpaw looked up into her brother's eyes, blinking the tears away from her own. "What will we do without her?" Leafpaw squeaked, sniffling. The apprentice didn't even know if she wanted an answer. What if Foxpaw didn't have one? And if he did, Leafpaw didn't know if she'd like it. It felt dirty, and cruel, to continue on living when her mother wasn't given the same opportunity. Leafpaw wondered if she could ever look at the sky again and see beauty. The world wasn't as innocent as she had thought. Even the rain was dangerous, and even the trees spoke lies. She felt exposed, laying here at Foxpaw's feet. She felt as if some bird would swoop down and carry her away, or maybe a large branch would fall and crush her spine. This was a dangerous forest, and she was small. They all were. All of Leafpaw's friends and family, so miniscule in comparison to the wide, wide world. Why did they even matter? Would anyone care if the she-cat was to just disappear? The thought made Leafpaw want to cry again, but her tears were dried out, and emotions were running low.